Sunday, May 31, 2009
"Thanks, Sugar Tits", was Brad Pitt's response to being given the Spike TV's Guy's Choice Hall of Fame Award for "Fight Club" by Mel Gibson. (You'll remember Mel calling a female Malibu police officer that term of endearment after being arrested for a DUI...) I love Brad. Not just because he's sorta purrdy, but because I think he's genuinely funny and a smartass. Perfect combo.
Why does Edward (don't call me Ed) Norton always look like a crab-ass?
Anyway. David Fincher is one of my favorite directors. Along with "Fight Club" (one of my Top 5 Favorite Movies EVER), he directed "Se7en", "That Benjamin Button Shit" (wasn't that the name?), and some really visually beautiful music videos--remember them? Oh, those were the days.
Can we all just begin referring to her as "Trailer Posh"? Britney Jean wouldn't know the definition of "posh" even if Victoria Beckham slapped her across the face. If I may present my case before the Court:
Exhibit A - Black nylons with a white dress
Exhibit B - White shoes with black nylons
Wrong and wrong. I don't believe for one second we can blame her "stylist" on the fashion faux pas. I can just hear Britney bossin' those folks around, "ya'll...I always wore it lak this! I look jus' lak Princiss Diyaaaana!!"
"Demurely dressed in a vintage Givenchy frock with a matching wide-brimmed hat, Britney Spears could have easily passed for one of the society girls who frequent polo matches." As IF.
Oh, Britney. I can't see just how scuffed up the back of those white heels are, but I know they are indeed...scuffed up, ya'll.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
carrying Stinkfoot around?
1.) The knee-length, baggy jeans shorts.
2.) The scraggly-ness of BOTH of these females. What the GDH?? I remember when I was in high school and my hair was growing out from a gawd-awful perm and THIS is what it looked like. I was embarrassed to show my head in public--and I was 16. I went to high school in Southern California; a gorgeous school a couple of blocks from the beach. I mention this to indicate just how MUCH I didn't fit in with all of the perfectly tanned, beautiful, blonde and athletic chicks. I was scrawny, brunette and never, EVER had a date.
My POINT is: Katie Holmes is turning into that very kind of dork...but I think she's being forced into it by that freak she's married to--just look at that tremendous photo of her pre-Cruisey-Scientology. NOT. THE. SAME. PERSON.
3.) STINKFOOT IS BAREFOOT. The toes might be a little bit aired out, but you just know they are still rancid.
I'd love to hear what you guys think. My hair is on fire over the demise of Katie's spirit, and perhaps her will to live.
Someone. Anyone. Help Katie.
The photoshoot with my cute, hilarious nephew Jake went well yesterday. Here's a link if you wanna see! http://www.photoworks.com/albums/pictures.jsp;jsessionid=2D5D4455C91A9A206DDA4278ACE3667E?id=57332920&cb=PW&toh=&svr=pw-web6
I've got some funny stuff about the Miss Adam and Bitch Gayken that I'll write about later. Oh, "it's already been broughten!" GIRL FIGHT, ya'll!! LOVES it!
Leave me some love!! xoxo ~j
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
So, for today I thought we would shoot back in time just a little. Not going to go back to Old Hollywood. We are just going back to those carefree days of the late 80's and early 90's. This A list female entertainer has had an amazing life. She has done just about everything possible in the entertainment world and is one of the most influential entertainers ever. Back in the day, our A lister had just gone through a very messy divorce. But, our actress had needs and loved, loved trolling the Lower East Side of Manhattan for Hispanic guys in her chauffeured driven limo. On one of her forays she found a 17 year old Hispanic guy and took him back to her place where she kept him for a few days until she grew tired of him. Well, it turns out that she gave this teenage boy the gift that keeps on giving. The Herp. Yep. Well, a few months later, our A lister was trolling the same neighborhood and people from the teenager's family recognized the car and before anyone could do anything all of his family pelted her car with trash from their garbage cans. Seems appropriate.
Wow. "Gonna dress you up in my herp....all over, all over". I love that song. I totally heard about this YEARS ago...a certain old blonde with lots of ambition used to creep around Alphabet City in a limo lookin' for Latin boys. I just never heard about the herp part of it. Figures. And I'm surprised that's all she's got. Ewww.
Ugh. I seriously didn't think I could feel worse today, then I was hit in the face with this story. For the love of Cheetos, Britney!
"Things reportedly didn’t go entirely to plan when the singer posed for the glamorous photoshoot for Elle during a break from her current Circus tour. ”They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes - and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was,” a source tells Page Six. ”It wasn’t pretty.” (via Entertainment Wise)So yeah. This is worse than the time she ruined a $6700 Zac Posen dress during her infamous OK! magazine shoot in 2007, she allegedly wiped her fried chicken-stained fingers on one dress, while her dog pooped on another gown. How does one "forget" or not even realize what time of the month it is?? Ummm...someone, I don't care who, give Britney Jean Spears a hysterectomy, STAT. It will solve so many future problems, and perhaps save some future lives, know'msayin'?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Listen up! This is FOR and ABOUT you--my darling readers.
See, I have a "tracker" that allows me to see how many readers I have per day, where ya'll are from (don't worry, I can't stalk you, it's just city/state, the time you read...stuff like that), and I want to let you know that I'm just so thrilled at how many of you come back, day after day. Even several times a day, to read my silly blog. I actually take it very seriously, even when I'm being nutty or ridiculous.
To know that I have readers from France, England, Canada, Dubai, Belgium, Germany, as well as all over the United States, is astonishing! I'm just overwhelmed...in a GOOD way! My readership just keeps growing, and it's thanks to YOU. I'd love it if even more of you spoke up and introduced yourselves!
So, THANK YOU. I love you...so please don't quit me.
to her black hoodie and Vans.
And now. A moment of silence for the beauty that is...Shiloh. Okay, I'm being silly, but I do think she's a little lovey.
Which notorious British druggie model who failed to attend an international photo shoot earlier this month cited "fear of swine flu" as her reason for not getting on the plane? In fact she was bundled off for a few days of emergency detox.
If you guys are struggling with this easy one, I'll be very disappointed. Very disappointed, indeed.
I just like visual aides.
This "American Idol" controversy is getting juicier everyday. AT&T seems to have had a BIG hand in helping Kris Allen get more votes--in his home state of Arkansas, ya'll. According to TheHollywoodGossip.com it is being reported:
"According to a report in The New York Times, one of the show's biggest sponsors may have played a vital role in Allen's victory.
AT&T, by its own admission, provided phones for free text-messaging services at parties organized by fans of the Arkansas native.
At a pair of gatherings in Allen's honor - held during, and immediately following, last week's Tuesday night performance show - representatives of AT&T (whose network is the only one that can be used to cast American Idol votes via text message) passed around free phones.
No such efforts were made on behalf of Adam Lambert.
Moreover, The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette states that AT&T employees actually instructed Allen fans on how to send 10 or more text messages at the press of a single button.
In a statement issued yesterday, a spokesman for AT&T didn't deny these accusations:
“In Arkansas, we were invited to attend the local watch parties organized by the community. A few local employees brought a small number of demo phones with them and provided texting tutorials to those who were interested."
Interestingly, Fox has refused to release the voting percentages or figures from this season.
Why would AT&T possibly favor Allen over Lambert? Might the company prefer a clean-cut, uncontroversial champion of a show it sponsors? We don't know.
But this rumor won't quiet critics that believe Lambert lost due to his sexual orientation."
Sigh. Whatev. Honestly. We all know Miss Adam is going to rock his glittery shit for many,many years. I still say not winning "A.I." was the best thing for his career. What do you guys think about all this?
ANYgay. I loved this song before I heard Miss Adam sing it, but now...wow. When he sings, "very, verrry", my eyes roll in the back of my head--in a good way. I just love those notes. Oh, and I LOVE his gun-metal metallic boots.
I can't wait for his cd--and I want it to be just him...not with Queen or whomever is clamoring for him to sing with their band. They can just forget it and let him do his own thing, mmmkay?
Listen and watch. A Star is Born. But we already knew that, didn't we?
Guess what, Chris? You ARE a monster. I can think of many more names to call you. Don't you just love the way he shrugs off all responsibility by calling his critics "haters". That's right, Chris. It was a crowd of "haters" who choked and beat the shit out of your girlfriend, Rihanna.
What a dumbass thug.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Honestly, Tori. Your mom won't talk to you because she doesn't recognize your ass. Not even when you're sitting across the table from her at The Ivy...she has NO. IDEA.
Put down the chopped straw that you hide in your purse, and EAT. Then go get those tits FIXED. Jesus H.
The Seattle Examiner.com is reporting:
"The California Supreme Court today upheld Proposition 8, which was a voter-approved constitutional amendment restricting marriage to opposite-sex couples.
Joe Mirabella, Washington State Coordinator of JoinTheImpact Inc., which is committed to equality for sexual minorities, said on the organization's Web site:
"Sadly the California Supreme Court upheld proposition 8, but as we can learn from the following the civil rights movements in the past we will win some and lose some. The fight in California is far from over, voters will likely revisit the issue as soon as 2010. The momentum in the rest of the country should give us great hope. Iowa, Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts and Maine have already realized the inevitable — equality is an American value. Other states are nearly there. I can imagine a not to distant future when equality will be in every state.
Our Washington friends and neighbors continue to show overwhelming support for the Decline to Sign 71 campaign that will protect equality and domestic partnerships. I strongly believe, and the polls show, that Washington voters support equality.
Let’s take this opportunity to show our solidarity with California, but let’s also realize the important moment in history we are witnessing by taking this opportunity to peacefully continue the conversation about who we are and what we want."
By: Ryan Burr - An Examiner from Seattle
There are times when the words, "everything happens for a reason" simply don't apply or seem acceptable. What sort of reason would there be for this tragedy?
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Filed at 7:32 p.m. ET
PHOENIX (AP) -- "Police say the 4-year-old daughter of boxer Mike Tyson has died a day after her neck accidentally was caught in a treadmill cord while she was playing at home.
Phoenix police spokesman Andy Hill said Exodus Tyson was pronounced dead in a hospital just before noon Tuesday. Police have said an investigation showed it was a ''tragic accident.''
Police say the girl was playing on the treadmill Monday when her head apparently slipped inside a cord hanging under the console. Exodus' 7-year-old brother found her and alerted his mother.Former heavyweight champion Tyson was in Las Vegas at the time of the accident and flew to Phoenix on Monday."
Black Rock Spirits, a Seattle-based distiller, is releasing bacon-flavored vodka, artfully named "Bakon." The only place it's sold in town is Belltown Bistro (thus far).
Wait a second...maybe this is my chance to "eat" bacon again. I wonder how this would taste in one of Stephen's world-renowned Bloody Marys? (Seriously. He needs to patent his recipe. His gorgeous concoctions are a MEAL...and this would be the infused side dish!)
"Staff at the Assiniboine Park Zoo hospital are hopping-busy caring for a baby red kangaroo.
The four-month-old female joey, named Rooby by zoo staff, was recently found lying helpless on the floor of its enclosure after being ejected from the pouch of one of the adult females.
Weighing just 560 grams, she would have little chance of survival out of the pouch at this early age, according to zoo veterinarian Dr. Chris Enright.
Rooby would also be dependant on her mother’s milk inside the pouch for up to a year, so staff members have been providing feedings of milk formula every three hours, around the clock."
When not feeding, Rooby spends most of the time sleeping soundly, nestled in a soft towel within a cloth bag, which substitutes for her mother’s pouch, according to the zoo."
Forpitysake! The zoo staff are even rubbing her down with loads of Vaseline to keep her delicate skin nice and moist, like it would have been in her mother's pouch.
I thought we needed a sweet story today...
Oh, we LOVE us some "Coal Miner's Daughter", ya'll. Ya haven't LIVED until you've heard Peetrick sing, "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man".
We're gonna have a Southern Gal Film Festival: "True Romance" (we adore Patricia Arquette's "Alabama" character), "Gone With the Wind, ("I don't know which-uh you boys is the handsomest!"), "Raising Arizona" (oh, Holly Hunter...perfection as "Ed").
My best girlfriend is a-comin' home!!
SAN FRANCISCO - The state Supreme Court on Tuesday upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage, but also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who wed before the law took effect will stay married.
The news today that California's ban on gay marriage has made me just plain sad. As you all are aware, I have many gay friends who are so dear to my heart. I attended my sweet friends, Tim and James's ceremony here in Washington State a couple of years ago...and as lovely as it was, we all knew it wasn't legally binding. To think these two people, who are every much in love with each other as Stephen and I are, but cannot have the same rights we do is shameful.
I'm not saying anything new here on this subject. We all know what's going on, and it's not okay. It's just not.
Visit www.noh8campaign.com to find out more about how you can make your silence heard.
Monday, May 25, 2009
"Which well-chosen wife of a major star is so dumb she didn't know that a drag performance she'd just seen was indeed a collection of males in dresses? Does that explain why she married that husband?" [Village Voice... there are like 39 more blind items there, too]
Holy Xenu. Just how stupid is Katie (Deadeye) Holmes???
Sunday, May 24, 2009
We're home. I gotta tell ya (again), I LOVE traveling with my husband. LOVE it. Stress-free. Fun. Loud music. Singing along. The video of the one of the songs we listened to (and I danced in my seat) is The Song of the Day for ya'll.
No matter how old this song is, I still blast it. There aren't all that many songs that I love now as much as I did the first time I heard them from 20 years ago, but "Suicide Blonde" by INXS (oh, Michael Hutchence...) is one I'm proud to admit to singing and dancing to in 2009. I dare you to watch this video and not be astounded by this band in all its glory.
There will never be another Michael Hutchence. Slinky, sexy and gorgeous.
Turn up your speakers.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Click on 'em, babies! xoxo ~j
p.s. Oh, HELL yeah, I'm still begging. ;)
1 & #2 - This C list almost exclusively movie actress who has been in some important movies thought she had found true love. It sounds like true terror. In what should be her coming out party for her first real big lead role, she instead has to deal with her new B list writer/director boyfriend who loves nothing more than hitting her. Very careful not to leave a mark on her face, she nevertheless was almost in tears on the red carpet from the pain he inflicted on her the night before her big premiere this week. Despite this, she still held his hand as they walked the red carpet. Sick I know.
This COMPLETELY falls under the category of "Just Tellin' Ya What I Heard", but it's all over the internets that it's these two:
"I'll be the first to admit that my opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the bloggers seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, (I'm sorry you feel that way, Ms. Gayken) they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say! If only many of them took the time to pay attention to important things like the US economy and the welfare of the world's children. (Insert full body eyeroll here.) But… nah… I could blog about that type of stuff anytime and most wouldn't think twice, but let me say something that they can pick and choose quotes and misinterpret me… and it's showtime! I never assumed my opinion mattered so much! I guess I may have been wrong."
"That said, since my previous blog got dissected like a biology lab frog, i suppose I should clarify and even retract some of what I wrote. I am sure that some were upset by my choice of words describing my opinion of a performance I heard from Adam Lambert. I hope no one actually believed that blood truly poured forth from my ears when I heard him. (If only that HAD happened!) I obviously meant it as a colorful statement to imply that I did not enjoy what I heard. Any performer hopes that their music will appeal to all people, but no singer realistically expects it to. God knows, I am SURE there are PLENTY of people who can't stand to hear me sing either. (Plenty? How about MOST of us?) I wouldn't dream of assuming that, and I am sure that far worse things have been said about my performances than I would even venture to type here. To me, that's fine. I don't expect unanimous, nor even majority support for my music. But, my guess is Adam doesn't either. I would not venture to make judgements [sic] on the personality or demeanor of anyone I don't know, so none of what I said in my previous blog was directed as a 'slam' on Adam as a person. At the same time, I wouldn't dream of slamming him as an entertainer. He does what he does, because he enjoys it, and he obviously has many fans who enjoy it as well. If what I said in my previous blog regarding my impression of a single performance from Adam upset or offended any of his fans, I expect that the mature ones will realize that it was simply a poorly worded metaphor describing my personal tastes. The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he's smart he couldn't give a crap what I think of his 'Ring of Fire' performance. As an entertainer, Adam knows that one person's opinion of one performance really matters a little less than zero, in the grand scheme of things. He could not have gotten on Idol (nor made it as far as he did) without an immense amount of talent. He surely doesn't need my approval to know he has a gift. At the same time, he realizes that amazing talent doesn't always equal universal appeal. (I could NEVER have the amount of skill and talent that ballet dancers have! (Ohhh...Gayken is letting us in on his dreams of wearing a tutu and "Swan Lake" feathers for "So You think You Can Dance"!) that's talent! But, I don't particularly enjoy it! Pants on FIRE, Gayken.) I am sure that I will have plenty of opportunities in the coming years to hear Adam sing. I imagine he'll be around for years to come. But in the meantime, I definitely don't want to stoop to the level of so many negative freaks on the internet (who the HELL are you callin' a "freak", you eyelash dying, butthole??)… so, I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d---! God knows he shouldn't."
First of all, the Gayken needs to realize that once you show your true colors as a raving jealous bitch in PUBLIC, you DON'T APOLOGIZE. Sister needs to embrace her bitchiness. Girl just keep waggin' your finger and jerkin' your head around.
Bottom line. Gayken is mega-jel and wishes she could get up on that hot bitch, Glambert, but knows she's waaaay outa her league.
We HEART Miss Adam!!
Friday, May 22, 2009
I honestly don't know HOW these other bloggers do it...(yes I do--they have STAFF). I can't seem to blog and do other tasks during the day. It's one or the other, for the most part. Like today. Stephen and I are spending the weekend in Portland, Oregon. (Ya hear THAT, Mr. Robber?) I had to do laundry, shower and blow out my fabulous hair--THANK YOU , JAMES from Sugardaddy's!), comb my lovely eyelash extensions, make snacks, half-ass pack, take the dogs to the kennel, get my eyebrows waxed, fill up the car with gas, go to the fancy carwash where the cute boys hand wash your car, come home, finish half-ass packing (making SURE to forget to pack my necessary medications--awesome), you get the idea. I'm nutty. When I did try to blog, STUPID Internet Explorer decided it wouldn't allow me access to my own GD blog! So, I switched to Firefox but I can't read what I writing because the font is so tiny, and I don't know how to change it yet, so along with the usual amount of typos, I'm sure there is plenty of non-sensical crap to circle with your red correcting pen. (Sweet run-on sentence!)
Anyway. We're here in Portland and now we're gonna watch the fireworks on the river outside of our downtown hotel...because I'm too tired to walk across the street to watch. GOD, I'm an old biddy...but I prefer "slacker". It sounds younger.
Is it just me, or is Miss Adam Galmbert on TV waaaaay more than Kris Allen? He was all over Access Hollywood and EXTRA and Ellen. Kris WHO?? Funny stuff.
I'll try to do my best this weekend (look for me on Twitter, too), but don't expect miracles, ya'll.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
"Now that it's all over, and for the record.... I couldn't be happier about the way AI ended this year. I only turn the show on once a season, and only to see what the set looks like each year. This year, I happened to turn it during the minute that Adam Lambert was singing "Ring of Fire" and, at that moment, thought my ears would bleed. Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening! I wasn't really a fan and found myself surprised whenever folks told me that they liked him.
Granted, I never saw another performance [BULLSHIT--he was totally eyelash-glued to his TV and we know it!] (and many folks who I trust said that he was great) but I can't imagine I would have enjoyed it. Just not my cup of tea at all." Oh, gurrlll....mee-oww!
I'm LOVING this. I'm sure Adam is saying, "Girl? Gayken WHO?? Oh, that asshole chick Kathy Griffin makes fun of?" Yes, Sugar. That chick--and she deserves EVERYTHING Kathy dishes out.
I'm obviously still squealing over this funny shit. This made my day.
I seriously thought this was a JOKE, ya'll. Then I saw it on the TMZ. Oh. My. God. Here's Seattle's favorite teacher and her boyfriend since he was in 6th grade--of course, they've been Married With Children for a few years after she spent her time in the pokey.
According to TMZ:
"...As an added bonus, Vili Fualaau -- the kid Letourneau was convicted of raping and later married -- will be spinning records at Fuel Sports Eats & Beats under the name DJ Headline.We're told it was all Vili's idea -- the whole "Hot for Teacher" part -- and that Mary Kay will be roaming the party signing autographs and meeting guests."
No. I'm not going.
Unbelieveably chic...and sexy.
Please read about Quentin Tarantino's film, Inglorious Basterds (yes, that's how it's spelled.) at The Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/20/brad-pitt-in-cannes-for-i_n_205646.html