David Letterman's Blackmailer is the ex-boyfriend of Stephanie Birkitt?? Awww HAIL Naww!!!

 They used to do it, and

 

they used to do it!!

You. Have GOT. To be KIDDING. ME!!!

That a-hole who tried to blackmail my (imaginary) boyfriend Dave is the ex-boyfriend of the chick Dave was sleeping with?? Oh, and yes! Stephanie Birkitt IS INDEED the one I was referring to yesterday (I just couldn't remember her name, because I didn't want to.) I effing KNEW it. I was jealous of her for a good reason it seems. I used to say, "gosh, I'd sure love to have her job as Dave's (ahem) assistant".) I just couldn't allow myself to think they were DOING it.

I wonder if I'm more jel-jel than Dave's wife, Regina. Hmmm. Probably not.

But I still love you, Dave. But not in a creepy way. For reals.