Tom and Katie have become a Northwest Lesbian Power Couple! YAY!

"I think R.E.I. is down this way, Babe."

Back before Cruise-y had the 

chub-chub sucked out.

(That sounds nasty...)

Where are Katie Holmes' parents? Are they locked in The (Scientology) Hole? Have their neighbors not noticed they are missing? Tom and "Kate" now look like so many lesbian couples up here in Seattle, shopping for a new kayak. Not that there's anything wrong with that...I'm just sayin'.

Exactly how many years has Katie aged since she sold her soul to Xenu? It's horrifying. Nicole Kidman has never looked worse, either. Maybe it's Tommy Girl's evil plan to turn as many beautiful women into homely, gray, plastic surgery patients who are mere shells of themselves, because dude, it's happening.

Let's look into this.