A Kobe Special? Excuse me, Tiger...WHAT??

"How many carats will

buy your forgiveness?"

I really don't know how much of this is true, but man, does the whole Tiger Cheating/Elin Swinging get messier every hour.

TMZ.com is reporting:

"During the phone conversation on Friday, Tiger told his friend, "I have to run to Zales (ZALES??? You have GOT to be kidding me!!) to get a 'Kobe Special.'" The person on the other end of the phone asked Tiger what a "Kobe Special" was. The reply -- "A house on a finger."

The "house on a finger" - 

Vanessa and Kobe Bryant showing off 

the 8 ct. $4M-I'm-Sorry-for-Cheating-Ring

During the conversation, Tiger said his wife had "gone ghetto" on him. (WHAT????? How 'bout Tiger went WHORING on her?)

As we first reported, Tiger told the friend his wife had scratched his face up during an argument over a report that the golf great had cheated on her. The "other woman" named in the story -- Rachel Uchitel -- calls the report "bulls**t." (Of course she does!!)

So. Will Tiger play on Monday?