Happy Birthday, Hannibal Lecter--I mean, Anthony Hopkins!!

Anthony Hopkins

 

Happy Birthday to my favorite Welshman, Hannibal Lecter Anthony Hopkins. Our favorite face-biter (swooooon) is 72 years old today. And as a gift, I have the alternate ending KISS from Hannibal.



Best. Kiss. Ever. I LOVE when he says,
"...that's my girl.". Mmmmm.

 This is good...

So when Stephen and I were flying back to the States from Florence (there's your Snobby McSnooterson Quote of the Day!), there was a gentleman seated in front of us, whom I swore was Hannibal. I wouldn't let go of that image of him feeding the little boy that a-holes brains. It. Was. AWESOME.

I know. Enough with the serial killer stuff. For today, anyway.

Annette? Not a WORD from you, ya hear? 

 

Happy Birthday, Jared Leto! Daaaayum.

 Awwww yeeaah.

 

DAAAAYUM.

Oh, Jared Leto. My mom loves you. Patrick loves you. And I love you, you purrrdy thing. I can listen to this cover of DumbassKanye's Stronger on a gotdamn loop. People love talkin' crap about Jared's band, 30 Seconds to Mars, but I love 'em.

What's your favorite role played by Purdy Jared? Requiem for a Dream, Fight Club, Alexander the Great, Panic Room (CORNROWS!), or as JORDAN CATALANO in My So-Called Life?

Happy 38th birthday, Jared. Mmm.  

Merry Christmas and Happy 60th Birthday to Sissy Spacek!

Sissy Spacek is 60 years old? When did THAT happen? Here's a little bit o' Sissy in her Oscar-winning role in Coal Miner's Daughter.

You don't even KNOW how Patrick and I quote this movie...not quite as much as Raising Arizona, but almost. 

Happy Birthday, Brad Pitt - A little bit of advice...

 Really, Brad? REALLY??

 

 Fight Club, y'all

 

Listen up, Mister Man.

Brad? I'm giving you some good, solid advice for your 46th birthday, so pay some effing attention.

Shave that gotdamn (that's how I'm spelling it now, because that's how I say it) billygoat SCRUFF. Angelina is starring in a film with Johhny-bloody-Depp, or haven't you heard? If you think for ONE MINUTE you and Vanessa Paradis are SAFE, you're both insane. You know I love Angelina...and I love Johnny, but I think the world will spontaneously COMBUST (at least yours will) if you don't get your shit together. Quit being a lazy-ass slacker with your God-given looks. They got you where you are, my friend. You live in a different world than the rest of us do, so straighten up and fly right. But, if you wanna see Johnny "rolling Angelina a brown French cigarette" (that's code for fornicating), stay with that Homeless, Stinky Dude look.

You're welcome.

Thanks, Annette, for the inspiration. xx  

Happy Birthday, Steve Buscemi!

Mr. Pink; Buscemi in "Reservoir Dogs"

The clip up there is from Desperado, which also starred Antonio Banderas. If you haven't seen this classic **COUGHAnnetteCOUGH**--do it. And do it now.

Steve Buscemi is the ultimate character actor; The Big Lebowski, Ghost World, Fargo, Armeggedon, and of course, as Mr. Pink, in Quentin Tarantino's classic, Reservoir Dogs.

Steve is 51 years old today...watch at least ONE of his awesome films...soon!

Happy Birthday....Adam Ant???

Happy Birthday!

Our favorite little 80's Brit Popper (well, Annette's anyway!) turns 53 today.

As a present to Adam, I will not post a current photo. 

Happy 25th Birthday, Katy Perry! (And a Separated at Birth!)

 HA! Fooled ya! That's my

daughter-in-law, Dayna!

 

 Oh, Katy. Hello Kitty is so boring.

 

Work it OUT, Dayna!!

So, if y'all think Katy Perry's got a great figure, you can just take a look at Felix's mom, Dayna! BOOM. Game over.

But yeah, Happy 25th Birthday, Katy. Say HI to Russell for me? 

Friends? It's Nancy Grace's 50th Birthday!

The terminally cranky Nancy Grace

"I don't CARE."

Oh Nancy Grace. Whenever I don't have a headache I enjoy watching you verbally judge and execute well, everyone.

I don't even remember Caley Anthony's mother's name, because you dubbed her Killing Machine Tot Mom (or something similar), so that's how we all refer to her now.

Anytime my husband hears Nancy's voice from the other room, he says, "IS HER HAIR ON FIRE?"--and it always IS.

By the way, I do a great Nancy Grace impersonation. I'm available at a reasonable fee for your next party.

Happy Birthday, Friend.

Happy Birthday, Jeff Goldblum!!

Oh. Jeff--where are those fabulous teeth?

 

Awwww, yes. There they are.

Jeff Goldblum is sex on a stick--a disco stick, if you will. (Thanks, Lady Gaga, for that.) I've had a crush on Jeff since, what? 1980? He's offbeat gorgeous. So tall--6'4" (!), and graceful physique, and strong and distinguised nose and devilish eyes.

I'm the first to say Johnny Depp was fantastic in Sleepy Hollow, but the BEST Ichabod Crane of all time was Jeff in an NBC made-for-TV movie made in 1981. If you ever get a chance to put that in your queue, do it. You'll love it.

Happy Birthday, Jeff, you handsome devil, you!

 

Happy Birthday, John Mayer...Oh, brother.

 This picture is for you, Jen.

John Mayer turns a whopping 32 years old today. That's not the big news, though. Rumor has it that John and Jen Desper-Aniston are possibly back ON. OhgoodLord. WHEN will that woman learn?

via People.com:

It's not the first time Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have reunited after a split, but the couple are simply "enjoying their friendship," says a source close to the singer. "They've been talking for a while – they're very friendly."

Adds another source, "They've remained close."

The duo recently spent a night together late last month at New York City's Bowery Hotel. "Jen was there on the arm of John and they were all very lovey," says an onlooker. "She was in casual clothing as was he, and she seemed very comfortable around his crowd of friends."

Are you making the same face I am? You know, one that looks like you've just taken a big whiff of feta cheese mixed with skunky weed? Yeah. That's what John and Jen smell like.

EEEWWWWAH.

Oh. Happy Birthday, John. Be sure to break Jen's heart again.

Happy Birthday, Nancy Kerrigan - WHYYYYYY??

Nancy Kerrigan's finest moment: "WHYYYYYY?"

Oh, Nancy Kerrigan. We have such fond memories of you, the 1994 Olympics (where Tonya Harding's thugs smacked your knee up), your snide, bitchy remarks after winning the **COUGHOksanaBaiulCOUGH** silver medal in figure skating...oh, Nancy--there will never be another you. (Yes. there will.)

In honor or Nancy-I broke up my husband's marriage-Kerrigan's 40th birthday today, I thought I'd take us all for a stroll down Memory Lane with a couple of your finest quotes:

"Oh, come on. So she's going to get out here and cry again. What's the difference?" - While waiting for Oksana to step up onto the Gold Medal podium. 

"This is so corny. This is so dumb. I hate it. This is the most corny thing I've ever done."  - At the Disneyland Parade (sitting next to MICKEY!) after her "win" of the Silver medal.

Those are some hilarious quotes, Nancy.

Carrot cake for the stable party?

Happy Birthday! Will you be celebrating with Sarah Jessica Parker, Melissa Rivers and another horsey Olympian Michael Phelps?

 

"It was 20 years ago today..." - Happy Birthday Hunter!

 

 

Hunter Stroud

Hey, do you guys remember that baby I had just the other day? Yeah? Seems he's 20 years old today. WHAT the hell?

I don't know how that happened. I swear it was just yesterday I was on a field trip with Hunter's pre-school class, wherein he was rolling his eyes at the kids who couldn't pronounce their teacher, Mrs. Weaver's name properly.  "Ugh. Mrs. Weeeevole. What is wrong with those kids?" Oh, Hunter. He still has no tolerance for mispronunciation. 

Stephen has his chef's hat on today BIG time for Hunter's dinner: 

Southern Fried Chicken

Cajun Mac & Cheese (w/spicy sausage!)

Collard Greens (hell yeah)

Biscuits w/cream gravy

Arnold Palmers to drink (1/2 each of lemonade & iced tea)

Three-layer Carrot Cake w/cream cheese icing

I love looking at that menu, especially since Stephen and I are back to eating meat. Mmmmmmmsausage (Homer's voice, naturally).

So yeah. My newborn baby is 20 flippin' years old. Happy Birthday, Handsome. Mum loves you!

 

Happy Birthday, Joan Jett!! (Belated)

Joan Jett is 48, bitches

Oh Joan Jett. You are a hot piece of badass...

I swear, one day, Imma (thanks, Kanye for the new word) go to the casino and see Joan Jett and she will rock. My. World.

I saw Joan waaay back in 1982, and I think she's cooler and hotter than ever. Here comes the latent lesbian in me again...

 

OY! Happy Birthday, Liam Gallagher - You Dumbass, You.

Liam Gallagher is 37 today

In my best Marilyn Monroe voice: Happy birthday to yoooou...Happy birthday dear butthole....

Oh Liam. My favorite fighty-dog. I still love Oasis, whether they have broken up or not. Did you actually hear why the Gallagher brothers were fighting this time--which resulted in a "break- up" before a big show in Paris.


via: Post24.com


"We hear a massive fight broke up between brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher after Liam joked that Noel was not the real father of his daughter Anais, after a huge argument between the two, Noel stormed off saying Liam's comment was unforgivable.

The brothers are famous for their heated arguments, but this time it looks like it really has gone too far, as the band held a press conference yesterday before getting into their private jet and apologised to fans who had paid for tickets for their European tour."


Here are a few of my favorite quotes from my favorite a-hole, Liam:


“Everyone knows that if you've got a brother, you're going to fight.”


“Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it.”


“Discipline? I don't know the meaning of the word.” - Liam Gallagher of Oasis


I swear. These two brats remind me of Alex and Hunter about 10 years ago. Alex would torture a then 9-year old Hunter til he flipped right out. I came home from work at Nordstrom one night to find Alex grinning that "he's smilin' at me MEAN" smile that drove Hunter out of his ever-lovin' mind. 

"Hunter chased me around the house with a knife saying he was gonna 'effing kill' me", was Alex's side of the story.


Like any other good, wholesome mother, I stifled my laughter for about five minutes, then gave Hunter the talk.

"Now, Honey. You shouldn't chase your brother with a knife, mmkay?" (I could hear that "Butthead" laugh of Alex's in the hallway as I chatted with the little brother. HUH HUH  HUH HUH)



I love that story. Isn't it just precious?

Happy Birthday, James Lipton...but Will Ferrell's funnier.

Oh James Lipton. Happy Birthday to you, my friend. Rather than post a ridiculous video of your show, "Inside the Actor's Studio", I thought I'd put up one of Will Ferrell parodying you. (And who doesn't love Alec Baldwin as Charles Nelson Reilly?)  That enormous stack of blue cards never fails to make me chuckle.

I always look forward to the real James Lipton's questioning the star on what's their "favorite swear word?". I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

Happy Birthday, Prince Harry!!!

 

Happy 25th Birthday, Naughty Boy!

I couldn't let today end without wish our favorite "Ginge", Prince Harry a Happy Birthday!
 

I must say, there were times in Harry's life when his brother William may have overshadowed him in the looks department...but wow. Harry has more than come into his own, don't you think? He certainly got that from the Spencers.

There is something very charming about Prince Harry...he's been in combat, has an on-again-off-again super hot girlfriend, plus he is up to the no good oftentimes.

I have a handsome rogue of a son. (Guess which one...) There is never a dull moment with a handsome rogue in the family...right, Prince Charles?

Happy Birthday, Amy Winehouse!

This is the Amy I fell in love with...

I'm cringing at what I am imagining Amy's birthday celebration today could be...I hear she's back with Blaaaaake, for one thing. OhdearLord.

She's burnt so many bridges with regard to her career (pissing off Mark Ronson, her amazing producer of the CLASSIC Back to Black cd, for one. They were supposed to record the theme to the James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, remember? She flaked on the project...understatement of the year?).

Anyway...here's an awesome mash-up you may like...

 

Amy...please come back to us.

Happy Birthday Jason Statham!!

 

 

Happy Birthday, Love!

Well, good morning!! What a way to wake up...to learn that it's  my naughty Brit boyfriend's birthday!! Jason Statham is 37 today, and with these pictures, I rather feel like it my birthday. YAY!

Sigh. Oh Jason. 

Happy Birthday, Evan Rachel Wood

Happy Birthday, ERW.

I guess I'll return the bed tarp 

I had gift-wrapped for you.

Today Evan Rachel Wood turns 22 years old. When I see photos like this, I feel old. I'm going to just blurt it out: I lost my virginity at the age of 22. I have a sneaking suspicion that Evan hasn't held onto hers for quite as many years. I don't know, maybe the fact that Evan was living with Marilyn Manson when she was 19 years old gave it away. Then there were rumblings of an affair with the ancient (shudder) Mickey Rourke while filming and promoting "The Wrestler".


I guess Evan is an okay actress. I remember seeing her on the TV series, "Once and Again" back in the 90's when she was really young. Now everyone's peeing their pants in excitement about Evan's appearance on "True Blood". (I finally sat through some of "True Blood" last night, by the way. I found most of the acting rather questionable and campy. I turned it off.)

I'm rambling. I guess I'm just glad I have sons. Know'msayin'?

Happy Birthday, Beyonce`!!!

Beyonce` Giselle Knowles

BOOM, y'all. It's Bey's 28th birthday. Hubby JayZ better bring it, mmkay? This isn't just any gal's big day...

What on earth does one give to Beyonce` for her birthday? (I'm being nice, so I won't say, "acting chops".) 

See? I can be sweet!!