Monday, October 27, 2008

It's All. About. Patrick.



Pretentious Patrick
As if I ever doubted the fact, it is indeed All. About. Patrick.
The third of about 28 phone calls throughout my day from my dearest friend consisted of the following conversation I was privileged to overhear between Patrick and an unknown caller on his other phone:
Patrick: Hello? Uh huh. Oh. Wow. (This sounds serious, I think to myself.)
30 second pause (I'm getting worried. I'm sure the Patrick is going to say, "Wasn't anyone HOME with Mom when she fell out of her wheelchair?" or "I never even knew he was SICK." But no.
Patrick: Well. (The dreaded flat tone of voice....)
Patrick: Do they have any bearclaws then. (NOT a question. A flat-out STATEMENT. Bearclaws???? WTF???)
Patrick: I really wanted a goddamn apple turnover. Those IDIOTS.
Oh, Patrick.

3 comments:

Jilly said...

LMAO!! Oh Patrick; this is not the earth-shattering event that you're making it out to be. Try to get a little perspective will ya? Or just cruise on over to Solvang; where I guarantee they'll have your damn bearclaws!!

Poor Kate said...

Cruise on over to Solvang? That's only about 6 hours away from Palm Springs...

Jilly said...

Oh well, I guess I'm the only impulsive person who would actually drive 6 hours for something, lol