I Feel Like Crap...

I totally fell off the veggie wagon at Tim and James's Oscar Party on Sunday. Here's the thing: I have NO willpower. NONE. I've been craving meat of some sort lately. I had been doing fine with veggies, fruit, pasta and fish, but all of a sudden, I wasn't feeling satisfied. So faced with a serving platter of perfectly cooked rare roast beef, I caved. (Oh. And since I'm in the Confessional, I smoked an entire clove ciggie, too. Sigh.)

I'm tired of eating Special K with berries for breakfast. Breakfast is honestly my favorite meal...give me eggs Benedict, homemade toast, fresh orange juice, hot tea and a nap and that's heaven on earth in my book. I'm getting bored with my "salad sammies" for lunch. However, I'm not remotely tired of Stephen's fantastic dinners. He surprises me each night with a new and delicious meal...veggie pizza without sauce, seared ahi in a spinach salad with avocado, pears and a wasabi dressing (from scratch, my friends)...yeah, he ROCKS.

I'm also tired of being tubby. The amount of weight I've put on this past year is completely unacceptable. This cannot continue. As much as I LOVE food--sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who just eat to survive. But then, that's a lot of pleasure lost, isn't it?

I want to feel good again. I want desperately to be one of those people who thrive on movement and exercise--but I'm not. I actually had a doctor tell me once (when I was 17 and getting a stress-test for a mild heart issue) that my body "doesn't tolerate exercise well". What the hell?

Who has some fresh insight to pull me out of my bathtub full of self-loathing and hollandaise sauce?