Tom Cruise Is Dressing Gayer Everyday and Katie Looks Like She Wants to Die.

When will Katie be rescued??

If Katie Holmes isn't pregnant, she's just plain miserable. And if she is pregnant, she's even more miserable. Now I realize I'll get some eyerolls when I say I'm quoting the anti-Scientology website, Why We Protest (www.whyweprotest.net) who is quoting The Enquirer, BUT, let's remember they have been right more often than not lately. (The John Edwards scandal, anyone? Patrick Swayze's cancer? The Enquirer had 'em first.) So. Read on, ya'll.

"As much as Tom loves her now, Katie believes that if she left him, he'd make it difficult for her to see their daughter Suri," an insider told The ENQUIRER. "She's already seen how that would play out - because after Tom and Nicole Kidman divorced, he pretty much took control of their two children."With divorce out of the question, the once happy-go-lucky Dawson's Creek star seems to have lost her vivaciousness despite living in luxury, continued the insider."Katie has everything money can buy - beautiful clothes, multimillion-dollar homes, first-class travel and endless creature comforts. But it's all under Tom's watchful eye," said the insider."Before Tom, she always had loads of friends and loved to go out. Now she must feel like she's living Tom's life, not her own. All of her so-called 'pals' are actually Tom's friends - Will Smith and his wife Jada, and David and Victoria Beckham."And it is as if she's always being monitored by Tom's family members, Scientology minders and bodyguards."

The Cruises paraded their daughter Stinkfoot Suri around at a beach located on the residential area of a Brazilian military base in Rio de Janeiro, where "she mixed with children of military staff". SURE, she did.

Nice mesh shirt, Queerbait.

Oh! Speaking of Queerbait--PATRICK is arriving today!!!