A whole bunch of celebrity (or pseudo-celeb) women had babies!

The baby photos have

already been sold for around 

$250K. Psssh.

Jude Law's baby-mama, Samantha Burke gave birth to a daughter named Sophia today and I couldn't care less. Everybody's healthy...except for Jude and the mother, who are both nutbars...or a fameho and a plain ol' ho (Jude). Jaaayzus. How many kids does that chap need?  All I know is...he better write his first "chiiile s'port" (that's legalese, y'all) cheque--Jude's a Brit 'member? 


This past Saturday, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.also  had a baby girl named Charlotte Grace. Maybe everyone is going for more normal names now?

Or not...

Ellen Pompeo from Grey's Anatomy also gave birth to a baby girl named...wait for it: STELLA LUNA. Really?? Was "Goodnight, Moon-a" already taken?

While we're on the subject of the Jolie-Pitt Family...

Zahara and Shiloh go to Toys R Us!!

Shiloh (I mean JOHN from Peter Pan)--and "Z" had a trip to the local Toulon, France Toys R Us with Mummy and Pax yesterday. No, I'm not posting picture of Angie, all dressed in black, because it's all about these two.

Shiloh, Chaz Bono (mean!) John and Zahara are hilarious. Z is living up to her Naomi Campbell comparison  by looking FEEEEEIRCE in that skirt and little top (and crankyface) and her little sister is being the imaginative dork (Z's word, not mine) that she is. She's still pulling the "My name is JOHN!!" silliness that I find adorable. She even has a sword, and it's probably real considering Mummy's fetish for knives.

I think I'd like to spend a day--wait, maybe a couple hours--okay, 30 minutes--in that household just to witness the chaos. 

Breaking News: Stinkfoot Suri walks; Daddy Tom Cruise's pants are too tight!

Stinkfoot clearly borrowed Dad's

Cherry Chapstick 

 

Ummmm...gawd, Tom

What the goddamnhell is Tom Cruise wearing? I'd say a padded bra, first of all. Let's discuss the skinny jeans he clearly bought Forever Hoochie 21 in the Petite's Department.  I didn't know that Nike made old-school hightops with lifts, did you?

And it seems Stinkfoot is now able to walk on her own...and she's running for it. 

RUN SURI, RUN!!  

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden - IT'S A BOY!!

CONGRATULATIONS! It's a B O Y!!

YAY!!! Oh, and I hate to say I told ya so....but. I TOLD YA SO!! A baby boy has arrived for Nicole and Joel!!

 

via Nicole's blog:

"In the middle of night, the very early hours of September 9, 2009 Sparrow James Midnight Madden was born to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.
He weighs 7lbs 14oz. Nicole, Joel, Harlow and Sparrow are all doing well. Thank you for all of your good wishes."

I am probably in the minority, but I love this name. LOVE IT.

Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel Welcome a Baby Boy!

For Taye and Idina: It's a Baby Gentleman!

Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel have welcomed a baby boy into the world. The couple have named the baby Walker Nathaniel Diggs. What a strong and elegant name...I love it. (I can't tell you how sick I am of the crazy baby names! Soleil Moon Frye, aka "Punky Brewster" named her daughter Jagger Joseph, forpitysake. Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Steffani's son named Zuma Nesta? Come ON.) It's so nice to see a truly refined and tasteful baby name. (Goodlord. I sound like Mrs. Astor all of a sudden.)

ANYsnootMcSnooterson.

"Meznel delivered Walker Diggs and, according to reps, "mother, father and son are all doing well." via People Magazine.

Carry on.

That Duggar Woman is Pregnant Again.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, gooood. I don't know why the news of Michelle Duggar getting pregnant again annoys me so much, but it really does ("it was a surprise!"), The very sound of her voice makes me angry.

via HuffPo:

"The Duggar family of TLC fame just announced that they are expecting their 19th child. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar currently have 18 children ranging from 0 to 21 years old and a grandchild on the way, making it pretty clear that their kids intend to follow in their pregnancy footsteps.

The Duggars live in northwest Arkansas and can be seen on TLC's hit "17 Kids and Counting" "18 Kids and Counting" "19 Kids and Counting." Assuming they make it to 20 kids and stop, and assuming each of their kids have the same amount of children (which are both big 'ifs') how long until those with Duggar blood take over America?"

I'm getting more and more creeped out by Michelle and Jim's cult, er, family. The matchy-matchy clothing, vacant stares, goody-goody appearances...

GAAAAAH....the Duggar Compund.

Horrifying.

The Rossdale Family at the beach....

Gwen, Gavin, some kid, Zuma and Crybaby Kingston

Gavin? Is that really your six-pack?

Yeah, I know. Them again. Sorry, they were parading around Malibu beach looking like the perfect little fam, so I had to show y'all.

I always knew Gavin Rossdale was purrrdy, I just had no idea about them pecs, them pecs. Wow.

And I'd kill for Gwen's legs. I said I'd KILL, not "I'd exercise" to get Gwen's legs. I'm not stupid.

Gwen Stefani takes kids to see dad, Gavin perform at The Grove - Kingston ain't havin' it.

Kingston's crying again.

Gavin's playing malls now?
Oh, yeah. A benefit show.

Kingston's a crybaby! Kingston's a crybaby!

Gwen Stefani brought her boys Kingston and Zuma to see their dad Gavin Rossdale perform as part of the Donate Life Summer Concert Series at The Grove in L.A. on Wednesday night, but someone was being a cranky-doodle about it.

Hey, this isn't the first time I've seen Kingston Rossdale bawling his head off. The last crying scene was when the Rossdales took the special ones to an L.A. park and some kid (I'm picturing Cartman from "South Park") smacked Kingston and made him cry like the baby he is. Nanny stepped right in to coddle.

So. Here we have Kingston. Crying a-bloody-gain. I love how Gwen is making the "awwww, it's okay"-face, but not holding him. Gawd. That might involve messing up that hairdo.

Hey, GWEN? How 'bout you step in and comfort him your damn self?

Gwen, Kingston and Gavin! YAY!

Awwww...but where's Zuma?

Knocked Up Celebrities is reporting:

"Gwen Stefani and son, Kingston, were spotted at Coldwater Canyon Park today in Beverly Hills playing at the park. It looks like they had a lot of fun blowing up balloons and making animals out of them.

In other news it’s been confirmed that on May 11th Gwen and her band, No Doubt, will be on the season finale of Gossip Girl. I can’t wait to see how they will incorporate them into the show."

On a related note, I picked up our tickets to see Gwen's hubby Gavin Rossdale April 14th at the Showbox in Seattle! YAY!! "Glycerine" will be bittersweet...

Kingston is Going on Tour With Daddy Gavin Rossdale!

Gavin and Kingston--CUTE

I used to have the biggest crush on Gavin Rossdale. Now, not so much, but I like that he's taking his little boy Kingston, on tour with him. It sounds like baby Zuma will stay at home with mama, Gwen Stefani.

People Magazine says:

Gavin Rossdale won't miss Kingston when he starts his tour in April. Why? Because his 2 ½-year-old son will hit the road with dad. "I take Kingston for as long as he wants, so I try to drum that into him: 'Are you ready to go on tour? Are you ready to go on tour?' It's going to be fun!" Rossdale told PEOPLE at the Global Green pre-Oscar party on Thursday night. And according to Rossdale, all it takes to keep the tour kid-friendly are appropriate sleeping accommodations. "Just get him bunks so he won't fall out – that's the main thing." And of course plenty of play time. "You gotta see where all the zoos are in the towns you're playing," adds the rocker, who is also dad to 6-month-old Zuma. "It'll be crazy," he said of coordinating schedules with wife Gwen Stefani, who also tours this summer. "There's no way avoiding it!" In the meantime, the couple makes it work.

Stefani rushed in to Global Green, with a couple handlers in tow, to snag a seat in a private box at Avalon Hollywood to watch Rossdale perform his hits, including "Glycerine," along with cover tunes and new material. Later, Sheryl Crow called him back to the stage during her set to sing "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." "I think Gavin Rossdale is awesome," Crow gushed from the stage.

As a sidebar, Gavin seems to be using Hunter's set-list!

Cinderella and Stinkfoot Suri!

GAAAAH! The Stinkfeet are loose!
The lines for the Cruise-y Exhibit
are ENDLESS.

Tom Cruise, Official Human Zoo Paparazzi

Hey! It looks like Disney World has turned into a "human zoo" of sorts. The Cruise-y family was on display (E-ticket, please) for the commoners to view behind iron gates.

"The toddler, who has become something of a fashionista despite her tender years, looked adorable in a blue ball gown and bare feet (STINKFOOT-HAZMAT ALERT!) and was all smiles during the trip which was a Valentines day surprise for her and her mother from film star Tom.

Who KNEW there were signs for this??

Katie opted for a more casual look for the occasion and was sporting a striped top and jeans."

Could Tom be any more of a dork? He should have closed down the theme-park like any other decent celebrity would do. This little narcissist-in-training that he's raising is gonna be a mess when she realizes she's just a photo-op for a sham of a marriage.

Did I say that out loud? Oh.

Tom Cruise Is Dressing Gayer Everyday and Katie Looks Like She Wants to Die.

When will Katie be rescued??

If Katie Holmes isn't pregnant, she's just plain miserable. And if she is pregnant, she's even more miserable. Now I realize I'll get some eyerolls when I say I'm quoting the anti-Scientology website, Why We Protest (www.whyweprotest.net) who is quoting The Enquirer, BUT, let's remember they have been right more often than not lately. (The John Edwards scandal, anyone? Patrick Swayze's cancer? The Enquirer had 'em first.) So. Read on, ya'll.

"As much as Tom loves her now, Katie believes that if she left him, he'd make it difficult for her to see their daughter Suri," an insider told The ENQUIRER. "She's already seen how that would play out - because after Tom and Nicole Kidman divorced, he pretty much took control of their two children."With divorce out of the question, the once happy-go-lucky Dawson's Creek star seems to have lost her vivaciousness despite living in luxury, continued the insider."Katie has everything money can buy - beautiful clothes, multimillion-dollar homes, first-class travel and endless creature comforts. But it's all under Tom's watchful eye," said the insider."Before Tom, she always had loads of friends and loved to go out. Now she must feel like she's living Tom's life, not her own. All of her so-called 'pals' are actually Tom's friends - Will Smith and his wife Jada, and David and Victoria Beckham."And it is as if she's always being monitored by Tom's family members, Scientology minders and bodyguards."

The Cruises paraded their daughter Stinkfoot Suri around at a beach located on the residential area of a Brazilian military base in Rio de Janeiro, where "she mixed with children of military staff". SURE, she did.

Nice mesh shirt, Queerbait.

Oh! Speaking of Queerbait--PATRICK is arriving today!!!

Serafina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Okaaaay.

The suspense is over...

"Thy given name shall be..wait. What?" Oh brother. How many names does one child require...really? (Nevermind that I love Harlow Winter Kate Richie Madden. That doesn't count.) Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner finally released the name of their new baby girl, Serafina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. I think she should drop the "Affleck" part when she turns 18. That's the weirdest part. Maybe she can simply go as Serafina Rose. I won't make any stripper jokes, because that would just be mean, and I'm never mean, right?Don't answer that.

Jennifer Garner Has Another Girl!

It's ANOTHER GIRL!

YAY! Another girl for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner! Jen JUST gave birth at Cedar's Sinai in Los Angeles after what seems like a 17 month pregnancy wherein she was constantly grocery shopping with Violet in her arms.

I'm feeling the baby girl is gonna have another FLOWER/WEED name...Daisy? Ivy? Sweet Pea? Flora? Saffron? Stinkweed? Stinging Nettles?

The Associated Press reports:

Affleck's spokesman, Shawn Sachs, and Garner's spokeswoman, Leslie Sloane-Zelnik, said Tuesday that Garner gave birth to their second daughter but would not provide any additional details. Garner and Affleck, both 36, were married in June 2005. Garner gave birth to daughter Violet in December 2005. Affleck co-starred with Garner in "Daredevil," and they began dating in 2004.

I've got it. Let's call her Bluebelle ZsaZsa Affleck. Zsa Zsa mean "Lily" in Hungarian! Learn something new everyday. Class dismissed.

Jacko's Not Dead Yet...

but I think I'M dying now after seeing this photo...I need to go heave over the toilet. BRB.

Bleh...BLEH!!

Okay, so whoever started those "rumors" about Michael Jackson dying? Apparently, premature.

"Ian Halperin, an author working on a Jacko biography, claimed Jackso was suffering from from Alpha 1-antitrypsin deficiency and needed a lung transplant.
Jacko's official rep told People that the story is a "total fabrication" and "Mr. Jackson is in fine health and finalizing negotiations with a major entertainment company and television network for both a world tour and a series of specials and appearances." Oh SURE! A tour? Specials and appearances? LIES, I tell ya! All LIES.

Have Yourself a Stinkfoot Little Christmas...

That KID isn't wearing sock again!

Does anyone ELSE see that snow?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Stinkfoot! Cold-ass, sweaty STINKFOOT. No coat, her GD feet never touch the ground and how much do 2 1/2 year olds weigh these days? (Not counting the Maury Povich Show favorite, My 2-Year Old Weighs 200 Pounds toddlers.) Honest to Pete. I know that when I'm doing the rock-rock dance with 5 month old Felix, all wrapped up in his Little Giraffe Satin Trim Chenille blanket (pale baby blue and latte` brown, not pink!), he seems to double in size and weight. I can barely hold on to him, that blanky adds so much bulk.

But back to the sockless wonder. What the hell??? It's 27 degrees in NYC. Doncha love how I always know the temperature in Manhattan?

Oh Great. Another Duggar Dork is Born.

The Dorkker Family

ROGERS, Ark. — An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child.
Michelle Duggar delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.
"The ultimate Christmas gift from God," said Jim Bob Duggar, the father of the 18 children. "She's just absolutely beautiful, like her mom and her sisters."

"Jim Bob Duggar is 43, a year older than his wife. Their oldest child, Joshua, is 20.
The other Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jordyn-Grace, are Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 17; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 12; Joy-Anna, 11; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 8; James, 7; Justin, 6; Jackson, 4; Johannah, 3; and Jennifer, 1.
"Our whole family is excited about Jordyn's addition to our family," Jim Bob Duggar said. "She's just perfect in every way." "

I'm so busy shaking my head (as in NO!) that I can hardly type. "Jinger" with a J ?? Oh man, I just caught that one. (I know that's trivial compared to the "THEY JUST HAD THEIR 18th KID" thing, but jeez--with a J.) How come she gets the stripper name and not the bible-y name? Obviously, I can't wrap my ever-lovin' brain about all this, since I'm obsessing over the name of kid #6.

Supposedly these dorks live on $5000 a month and are debt-free. Those are some mighty fine hand-me-downs they are passin' around. ANYway. I'm tryin' not to be too terribly mean. I actually feel sorry for the teenagers, especially. Do any of the girls even know who Zac Efron is? For that matter, do the boys know who (ugh) Miley Cyrus is? One of these kids, and it's probably gonna be JINGER, is going to HELLA rebel. I can't wait.

Nicole Kidman and Hugh-my-wife-says-I'm-not-gay-Jackman

Are the gay rumors true?

(Hugh, not Nicole...but that would be funny!)

Nicole Kidman and Australia co-star Hugh Jackman hold hands and smile during the live broadcast of the German TV show “Wetten, dass” at the Messe Stuttgart in Stuttgart, Germany on Sunday.

These two are still promoting the crap out of that crap movie, Australia . Honk shooooo. But, Nicole looks REALLY pretty here. I love her dress, her hair and her shoes. I also love the way she looks a little less like an alien--but I suppose there's always some residual Tom Cruisey-ness left over sometimes. Hopefully, she'll be able to shed the Scientology-lizard hex entirely over time.

Hugh Jackman still does nothing for me.

Patrow Sits Awkwardly for "Gotham" Magazine

Paltrow and her disjointed foot

I can't quit looking at Paltrow's stupid foot in this picture. She looks like a 6th grader who hasn't been taught how to sit properly for a portrait. I love when she meets my expectations of stupidity.

StupidPaltrow and her overpaid (or not, she IS dealing with Paltrow, after all) trainer Tracy Anderson are featured in the latest issue of Gotham Magazine. Here are some of PinchFace's interview "highlights":

"Is there a character you’d love to play but haven’t? I’d love to do [Chekhov’s] The Three Sisters; I look forward to doing Blanche DuBois [in A Streetcar Named Desire] on stage someday. I’d really like to do a musical. And I’d like to do SNL again. I liked doing that.
Do you think you’d collaborate with your husband, maybe do a duet? No, no, no, no.
How about Madonna? I don’t think so. I don’t think the acting/recording thing really works. Maybe if you’re an urban act, but I’m not sure it works if you’re an actor. An "URBAN ACT"??? Racist much, Paltrow??
What were your favorite things about growing up in New York? Underage smoking on stoops of brownstones, going to museums, the seasons, and how great a school Spence (a private girls’ school) was—how well they prepared me for life."

I hate her more with each interview.

Another baby that ends in "X" - Bronx Mowgli?

Pete Wentz and wife Ashlee Simpson are goons.

According to the latest reports, the musical couple are now proud parents of Bronx Mowgli Wentz, born on November 20th with a weight of 7 lbs., 11 oz., and 20 1/2 inches long.

Honestly. Bronx Mowgli? You know Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz and his wife, um, "singer". Ashlee (sister of Jessica) Simpson spent months trying to think of a name for that child so their names would be in the press for a couple days longer than if they named him Joseph (after her dad) Peter. And it's working, people. I wonder if The Bronx was born wearing Prada sunglasses and a vintage scarf? Bleh. He'll have stupid BMW monograms coming out his nose--I mean, ears.