Damn it, Lindsay!

OhforpitySAKE.

You CANNOT tell me Lindsay Lohan doesn't know her boobie is falling out. Oh, there were certainly more explicit shots, but I tend not to show "nip slips" here on Dipped in Cream. And for once I can even tell you that I didn't look at the revealing pictures that are all over The Internets right now. (It's a first.)

I highly doubt  Linds was shopping for a well-fitting brassiere in this shot. 

Sigh.

 

Let's make it THREE Lohan stories in two days!

Rihanna? Lindsay made these just for YOU!

Yeah, because I can see the average gal wearing these shopping in downtown Seattle in these ridick leggings straight from Lindsay Lohan's 6126 Leggings Line.  Jesus H. We'd all get thrown right out of Nordstrom and Barney's. No question.

You know, I don't have photography studio anymore, but hey, maybe I don't need one. Lindsay's just down in some creepy dude's basement with no background seamless paper or even decent lighting. 

Looks like I'm open for bidness! Wait. Does that make me a "creepy dude"?

Nevermind.   

Oh dear. The nun's didn't enjoy Lada Gaga's MTV VMA performance. Whaaaa?

Lady Gaga performing "Paparazzi" 

at the VMAs last weekend

No. I simply cannot believe that Catholic nuns didn't quite care for Lady Gaga's performance piece (which is what it was, in every sense) on Sunday night's MTV VMAs. (Eyeroll.)

via whyfame.com:

"Finally somebody takes attitude against Lady Gaga’s behavior! Her own fans were freaked out by her bloody appearance at MTV Music Video Awards while singing her ‘Paparazzi’ hit. Note that Gaga’s fans are mostly teens, (I think most of her fans are the gays and they GOT it!!) so imagine what this new deadly-sexy singer teaches the little ones. Beside them, Gaga’s former teachers were shocked!

If you didn’t know, Lady Gaga (on her real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) was matriculated for several years, guess where…in New York, at the Convent of the Sacred Heart girls school, New York Post reports. So she was preparing to be a nun!!!

“When someone showed the nuns a video of her bloody performance at the VMA Awards, the good sisters were not amused”, the report added."

Ummm...whose bright idea was it to show this to the nuns in the first place? What they don't know about their former student won't hurt them, I always say. (Actually, I don't always say that.)

My point is: It was a METAPHOR, people!! Well, kind of a literal metaphor, if you will. Stars have a love/hate relationship with the paparazzi and Lady Gaga's performance, I felt, was brilliant. It was kind of, "yeah, chase me, wound me, leave me alone, chase me, oh dear, you killed me" sort of statement. You can't tell me Lindsay Lohan doesn't love every. Goddamned. Second. of her time with the paps--we all know she even tips them off as to her whereabouts. It's almost as though she's got a deep-seated deathwish so that she will become iconic like her tragic idol Marilyn or Michael Jackson. (I got my Psych Degree from Sears, fyi.)


Then we do have the Princess Diana side of things, don't we? She, too, manipulated the European press and paps, but they (and a drunk chauffer) killed her in the end.


The performance certainly required discussion between kids or teens and their parents--but the nuns most definitely didn't need to watch it, forPITYsake.

 

Lindsay Lohan's "robbers" have been caught--but more importantly, WHAT the goddamnhell is she wearing?

Thigh highs, a jacket, a jaunty hat

and that stupid finger in her mouth a-bloody-GAIN.

Some little 18-year old a-hole named Nicholas Prugo was arrested today in connection with two robberies; one of the chicks from The Hills (I know which one, I just wanna give that her or that piece of crap show more publicity) and of course, our little girl Lindsay Lohan.

Remember, a few weeks ago, Lindsay arranged to have suffered the fear of having her home broken into and had clothing, jewelry stolen (that she was "borrowing" from a ritzy Beverly Hills jeweler), as well as legal documents and perhaps--fingers crossed--some home movies. 

via TMZ.com

"TMZ has learned the 18-year-old dude arrested for burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's home is no stranger to trouble -- Nicholas Prugo was arrested earlier this year on a cocaine charge.

Prugo was busted near L.A. back in February for possession of coke. This is his mug shot from that arrest. Prugo plead guilty and entered an 18-month drug diversion program.

Law enforcement sources tell us Prugo may have violated the terms of his diversion program for something unrelated to the burglary -- he's due back in court to deal with that in November.

Prugo was also arrested last month in Beverly Hills .. we're told it was for DUI."

Dumbshit.

 

But seriously, you guys. What is UP with Lindsay constantly having that stupid finger in her mouth?? I've posted like, 300 other shots like this. If she's trying to be all coy and Freudian, it's not working. She's just creeping me out.

Today's Blind Item - You'll LOVE This Edition!!

You know, she actually looks
cute here. Must be a bad angle.

"This blind item is going to be phrased as a piece of advice. If you pay your drug dealer on time he won't break into your house and take your things. Just saying."

via CDaN

Lindsay Lohan robbed AGAIN?

Basted to perfection.

Yeah. Your lips are plumped
because your are biting them. OHHHkay.

Yeeeesh. Lindsay's been "robbed" again.

via TMZ and People Magazine:

LOS ANGELES -- Lindsay Lohan wasn't home when burglars broke into her Hollywood Hills home over the weekend, but she is "upset" by the crime, even as she prepares to move to a safer place, according to her mother.

The Los Angeles Police Department's Hollywood station received a report of a burglary at a residence in the 2200 block of El Contento Drive around 6 a.m. Sunday, a police watch commander said.

"The safe was ripped out of the wall, and the door was off the hinges and door handles removed," Lohan's mother, Dina, told People.com. "Bags, shoes and jewelry were taken too. Thank God she wasn't home."

Police could not provide details of what may have been taken or how the burglars got into the house, said Officer Norma Eisenman, an LAPD spokeswoman.

Lohan was apparently rattled, her mother told People. "She is okay, but upset."

The actress was planning to move "to a safer place" even before the break-in occurred, her mother said.

The weekend break-in was the second reported at Lohan's residence. The first was reported in May.

Lohan's father believes the burglary was an inside job, according to TMZ.com.

"I am not going to put up with individuals violating my family. Lindsay is a charitable, generous person that always gives. This is a personal violation and it has got to stop," he told TMZ.com."

I'd LOVE to know what was in the wall-mounted safe that was broken into. Maybe it's the recipe for her "Sevin Nyne" self-tanner. I hear it's just a bottle of Lawrey's Citrus BBQ Sauce.

Did ya'll watch Project Runway last night? What the??

Ari Fish, the first designer to get the boot on PR

Wait. I'm confused now.

Project Runway's first guest judge;
Slutty von Hookerstein--
now I'm really confused.

Who else watched Project Runway last night? The first few episodes are always confusing. I feel a bit standoff-ish toward the new desiiiiiignerssss (that's how the word is pronounced, according the The Gospel of Tim Gunn). I don't know them yet, I don't know who I like and whom I loathe yet. One thing I noticed about last night's show was that the designers were not wearing their Bitch Pants yet. I witnessed compassion, admiration for one another and I was totally thrown off--but I liked it.

Anyway, the designers were given the challenge of making a "red carpet" dress. Same old routine, run to MOOD for fabric, wax poetic about what a "unique vision" each designer feels they own, hurry the eff UP already! Who's the guest celebrity judge?? Holy shit. It's Lohan.

I know I'm not the only goon out here who was transfixed by the fact that one designer, Ari Fish, looked exactly like Samantha Ronson. And Lindsay had to judge her crazy-ass "disco-soccerball" of a dress. Naturally, she was OUT.

Oddly enough, I found Linds to be quite interesting and articulate with her critique of the dresses. Makes you wonder just how far she could have gone had she not taken the vodka-Red Bull road.

I'll chat about Project Runway a bit next week. It gets easier when they narrow it down. Waaay to many people to invest my effort in now.

I still wish Christian Siriano could be on EVERY season. I miss that hot tranny mess.

Lindsay Lohan in British Elle - A Lesson in Photoshop 101

...and Lindsay is on the cover, why?

Lindsay's favorite pose: Finger in mouth.
Freudian much?

We GET it. We all know what
you can do with your mouth, hon.

Jeez. Here's my 8000th post this month featuring Lindsay Lohan. Sorry. But I saw these pictures from the latest edition of British Elle and had to show ya'll. This is the shoot in London wherein she chased Sam around, was accused (?) of stealing many of the jewels that were to be featured in her spread...nice choice of words, eh?

ANYmediawhore. I saw a video of this strange photoshoot. Girlfriend looked haggard. Thank the LAWD for Photoshop. Suddenly, Lindsay is completely void of all sagging eyelids, ciggie tracks on her mouth and dark undereye circles.

I want Photoshop performed on me before I leave the house, starting tomorrow...who's with me?

Lindsay dipped her head in Clorox and got a jobby-job.

Cokehead Barbie got a job!

Ugh. Robert Rodriguez has apparently hired Lindsay to ruin his new movie (based on a fake trailer shown during "Grindhouse") called "Machete". The movie stars Danny Trejo (who is in every single Rodriguez movie), and Michelle (fired from "Lost" chick, alledged lesbian and DUI enthusiast) Rodriguez. Oh dear Lord, this movie is circling the drain before filming has even begun in Austin, Texas in two weeks.

I cannot wait for the cocaine to hit the fan, ya'll.

Joel and Lisa can consider this a wedding present. You're welcome, Lovies. I know how you two love the Lindsay Lohan posts. xoxo ~j

Two Total Douches in the Hamptons. Guess Who?

I have an idea for a new SNL skit:
"Two A-Holes in Flip-Flops at the Hamptons"

Holy shit. Does is get much douchier than these two a-holes? Of all the jerks Jon Gosselin could have found to pal around with, he picked the jerk of all jerks: Michael Lohan. Let's all have a moment of eye-rolling, shall we?

According to People Magazine, Michael has these nuggets of wisdom regarding Jon and Kate and their brood:

"He would love to be friends with her," says Lohan, the estranged father of Lindsay Lohan, who's been showing Gosselin around the Hamptons and and who has become an unlikely advisor. "They had eight kids and he would like to work things out the right way and just be friends."

"A lot of opportunities are opening up for him," Lohan says of his friend, referring to possible endorsement deals.

Lohan also says Gosselin is in a good mood these days. "He's fantastic and upbeat and said that he just wanted to concentrate on his kids and his career and his life," he said. "It's overwhelming for him but he's handling it.

As for for Gosselin's gal pal Hailey Glassman and the former Star magazine reporter Gosselin's been spotted with, Kate Major, "he's not with either one right now," Lohan reports.

"He's not concentrating on a relationship with any woman. He just wants to take a step back and deal with his family and his kids."

I'm in no mood for these two creeps. All we need are a bunch of little Gosselin girls behaving like Lindsay in about 10 years. Jesus H.

Lindsay Lohan in Spanish Vogue - Dressed Up Like Her Mom?

Oh, forpitySAKE.

[annoyed SIGH]

I would love to be the one to shake Lindsay Lohan and scream, "YOU'RE NOT MARILYN MONROE!", but I know she'd just wipe the coke rez from her nose and stomp off on her Huffy bike. Jesus H. this is getting to be really annoying. Here's Stupid again, posing as Marilyn for Spanish Vogue.

Tan fea y tonta. (My smarty-pants husband speaks Spanish, ya'll!)

First of all, bitch looks EXACTLY like her nutbar of a mother, Dina. They're the same age, you know. It's some sort of a miracle or curse, depending on who you ask.

Happy 43rd Birthday Lindsay Lohan!!

Lindsay looks raggedy, ya'll.

Oh. She's 23?? Jesus Chri--oh. It's Sunday. I'll try to keep the swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain to a minimum, but What. The. EFF?? First of all, WHAT the goddamnedhell (I can't help it) is she wearing?? Those are some hideous hooves, ya'll. And is that a swimsuit?

As usual, Lindsay's looking fit, well-fed, healthy and clean. Right? RIGHT???

Lindsay Has Gone Twitter Crazy (along with all the other crazy...)

Lindsay's late night topless Twitter photo.

Oh, Lindsay.

Lindsay Lohan is a complete hot mess and Samantha Ronson is egging her on, by breaking up-getting back together-then breaking up with her again. I think Sam can't keep that zipper of hers up where other chicks are concerned. Dys-effing-functional relationship.

Here is a "tweet" from last night from Linds to Sam. I have to admit, I do kinda get a naughty thrill reading these tweets.

sevinnyne6126I can't sleep @samantharonson its your fault!half a minute ago from TwitterBerry

Oh, and the "missing" jewelry from the Elle photo shoot still hasn't turned up. The folks at Elle Magazine supposedly aren't outright accusing Lindsay of stealing the $400,000 worth of jewels. Suuuure. Even though Lindsay kept asking to take it all home with her? Come ON.

Did Lindsay Lohan Steal Jewelry? GASP!

"Mine. Mine. Mine."

How DARE you! How could anyone accuse sweet little Lindsay of STEALING? Oh. Yeah. Nevermind.

According to a HolyMoly report, the “Mean Girls” actress was in London for a photo shoot with Elle magazine when she allegedly lifted $45,000 worth of jewels that were on loan from a local jeweler."

AND!

Requests for information, or for the return of the swag, has been repeatedly put to Lindsay's representatives, but two weeks later both magazine and jewellers have yet to receive any form of response. This has left them with no alternative but to pass the case on to British police.

This isn't the first time Lindsay has been linked with stolen stuff. Louis Vuitton reportedly refuse to deal with her anymore after she repeatedly stole stuff from their shoots:

According to the New York Post:

"Louis Vuitton had sent over some samples for her to wear in the shoot. Lindsay kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them.

"She ended up walking off with a very expensive shirt and some other items - which screwed Louis Vuitton because they were set to go to Vogue, W and Harper's Bazaar for other shoots.

"They were furious and kept trying to get their clothes back, but ... Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."

Seriously? Lindsay never returned their calls? I'm sure it's all just a "misunderstanding"...like that fur coat--belonging to someone else--she walked off with several months ago. Oh, and the coat "mysteriously" was returned to its rightful owner after attorneys got involved.

Oh, Lindsay. Way to help the image you were trying repair.

Samantha and Lindsay Back Together? Engaged??

The latest ad campaign for Lindsay's

self-tanning line, "Sevin Nyne". Nice ear.

Oh, Sam.

Flashing an ENGAGEMENT ring??

Here it comes. Lindsay's stalking of Sam may have paid off. She spent the past several days in London, pretty much doing nothing other than looking, um, wow...horrible, partying, looking worse, texting Sam, getting that orange-glow...you get the idea. Jesus H. My amusement with these two is really wearing thin. Relationship drama like this is tragic and insane. I'm worn out just writing about them. I need a nap.

The Daily Mail is reporting this squishy load today:

Rather tellingly on the day Samantha flew from Manila to Singapore, Lindsay wrote on her Twitter page: 'Missing a certain someone after a massage and chicken noodle soup... U (she) knows. Cuddle time soon I hope - fly safe.'

She was pictured leaving Samantha's hotel yesterday afternoon after apparently spending the night with her.

Lindsay emerged from Blakes Hotel in South Kensington wearing dark sunglasses while a smiling Samantha exited shortly afterwards.

'Leaving London but with my favourite favourite!!!-travel buddy&great news to share!! Maybe.... ;)' she wrote today.

While the couple haven't been photographed together since their split, Samantha has changed her Facebook relationship status from 'single' to 'it's complicated' and lists Lindsay Lohan as the number one friend on her MySpace page."

Wake me up when they are walking down the aisle...

Thank you again to my European Correspondent, Annette!