Oh, Courtney Love...GO ON TAKE EVERYTHING - on Facebook

Hold on to your effing hats...here we go.

Courtney Love left Twitter in a huff (nice choice of words) and is now taking her rage and nuttiness out of Facebook. Take a gander:

 
"IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn’t have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor but hell purposfully refinance Kim Cobains Property i bought her cash outright, for the 12th time using a phony address due to some fuck up on some Bogus “ART FORM OF THE CH 13” R TODD used, leavng KIM COBAINS PROPERTY REPOS…SESED< “you have an hour to get your things” wtf did Kim Cobain do to YOU… so its best to never tell let alone kiss and trell i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k.

...britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO."

So everyone's stealing from Courtney, and she thinks Britney was molested by her dad. Yikes. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen, but really? Do they really wanna deal with her crazy ass in court? And why is she still bitching about Edward Norton?


By the way, Patrick and I were blasting Courtney's (well, Hole's) cd Live Through This on our way into the city today. Nothing beats singing (screaming?) "I'm Miss World, somebody kill me..." at the top of your lungs with your best friend.

Good times. Good times.

Lindsay Lohan was dating HEATH LEDGER just before he died? I'm so SURE.

 

Sigh.

Seriously. Heath's been dead for almost two years now, and the Lohan "family" (?) is just NOW starting rumors about Lindsay supposedly dating Heath Ledger at the time of his death? (Wait. Did I just hear MaryKate breathe a sigh of guilty relief?)

via RadarOnline:

"...Dina Lohan drops the bombshell that her daughter Lindsay was secretly dating Heath Ledger when he died and his death devastated her.

“She was dating Heath when he died,” Dina reveals to Michael. “I don’t know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?”

Dina told Michael about the relationship because she was afraid for Lindsay’s life too: “Because when she’s drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking.”

She said that the actor’s death was a terrible shock to Lindsay. “That f****d her up,” Dina says."

ForpitySAKE. Since WHEN did the Lohan's become all private and shit? Don't you think this piece of juiciness woulda been ALL. OVER. EVERY-EFFING-WHERE back when Heath died??

Still. I'll bet certain other "starlets" are happy to let Linds take this one. 

Know'msayin'?   

Amy Winehouse's New Boobies - Sorta NSFW.

Amy's mighty proud of her new "girls".

Amy Winehouse seems intent on making sure the entire world gets a good peek at her new baby's bottom implants. She's still so pin-thin that, well, they look just hard and awful...and I think she's going to tip over, face first.

Rumors are swirling around that she got the implants for Blaaaaaake and that the two are back together. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of "2009, the Year of Celebrity Deaths". 

Oh, Amy. 

Barf-Inducing (and STD-spreading) Couple (hook-up) Number 2 - Lindsay Lohan and Balthazar (BGet) Getty!

Lindsay...so fresh, so clean.

 

B.Get - total douche

 

If anyone is near this "couple"--if you can call them a couple--I think it's a hook-up, which  is entirely different, I'm sure you're flapping your arms around due to the gnats, flies, STDs and cocaine flying in your vicinity, yes?

Uh huh, that's right.

This hot mess of a two-some was seen "canoodling"  (Jaaayzus, I hate that word) at the hot new club, Voyeur over the weekend. Apparently, they left together. Getty is still married (not that it matters to Sienna Miller or Lindsay) and Lindsay is, well...LINDSAY. Both are into the drugs, inappropriate behavior and are MADE for each other! AWESOME.


Seriously, Falcon. I need that puke bowl.

Pamela Anderson loves child slaves...oh yeah, and animals, too. Thanks, PETA!

WHAT the goddamnhell is going ON here?

(And I sure hope I don't see what I think I see...)

I didn't used to really get on Pammy's case all that much, but she's been cruisin' for it lately. First with her dumbass "fashion" show in New Zealand last week--'member? She was wearin' a sheet. An effing sheet. Then she dropped it, because NONE of us have seen her rock-hard chest lumps before. Ooooh. Controversial. Pssssh.

Now Ms. Hep-C America decided to treat one of her employees' children as a slave-prop during the Hollywood Style Awards.

via PageSix.com 

"One guest told Page Six, "People were genuinely shocked. She didn't even have her own seat and had to sit at Pamela's feet, where people nearly stepped on her to get to the stage. The girl looked uncomfortable and kept tugging on her dress to get her attention, but Pamela waved her away.

"Pamela was telling people it was her daughter," the attendee said. "And, after she presented David LaChapelle with an award onstage, she shouted 'daughter' in front of the whole auditorium, and slapped her leg like she was calling a puppy. The girl rushed up to grab her train."

Adelaide is the daughter of makeup artist to the stars Sharon Gault, who was believed to be at the event.

A spokesman for the Child Labor Coalition said, "I would want to speak to the child to ask her if it is something she willingly did. Nine is very young, and an awards ceremony is a long time for a child to be out holding a dress."

That nine year old little girl looks sad and humiliated...which I'm sure she was.  You know, if Pammy had been using a little poodle for this shit, the lovely folks at PETA would have flipped right out. But since Crazy-Face Pam is a devout member of PETA, I guess they agree that this was all in good fun.

What the goddamnhell is Courtney Love doing with Hugo Chavez??

"Rrrrrico. Chavez."

What???

This picture makes me sick on so many levels. Courtney crawled out of her coffin to attend crazy-face Oliver Stone's film about Taco Bell, "South of the Border". (That is what it's about, right?) And look who she ended up with--Hugo-Freakin' Chavez, that crazy dictator from Venezuela. I'm surprised the earth didn't implode.

via NY Daily News:

"Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday's screening of Oliver Stone's new documentary, "South of the Border." The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

"It was the third wink that sold me," Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas!"  WHATthegoddamnhell????

I'm busy flipping through the Yellow Pages in search of the nearest vomitorium. Repeat after me: Oliver Stone. Courtney Love. Hugo Chavez.

Last one to puke is a rotten egg.

Tawny Kitaen Arrested Again for DUI

An old mughot of Tawny's 

from an earlier arrest

Here you go, again on your own, Tawny. (Cringe..sorry.)

This woman needs to hire a driver because she obviously won't fire her dealer or stop driving drunk.

via the OC Register:


NEWPORT BEACH – Tawny Kitaen, actress and ex-wife of former Angels pitcher Chuck Finley, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence this afternoon.

Kitaen, 48, was arrested by Newport Beach Police at 3 p.m. She was released on a $2,500 bail.

It is unclear if Kitaen, of Newport Beach, was under the influence of alcohol, prescription drugs or both, said Newport Beach Police Sgt. Steve Burdette.

Kitaen was arrested near John Wayne Airport at Bristol North and Campus Street after being involved in a traffic collision. There were no injurues and no report on damages to either of the cars, said Burdette.

Kitaen was a cast member for season 2 of reality TV show, "Celebrity Rehab." Three years ago, Kitaen entered a drug rehabilitation program after pleading guilty to possessing 15 grams of cocaine.
She was arrested in 2002 on charges she abused her then-husband, former Angels pitcher Chuck Finley."

Oh, Tawny. You used to be stunning. Not just pretty--STUNNING. That wild mess of auburn hair, those legs doing cartwheels and splits on the two Jags in the beloved (?) 80's video Here I Go (Again on My Own) by Whitesnake.

Tawny and David, way back in the day.

Girl, you even married the gorgeous lead singer, David Coverdale (who still looks great, by the way--doesn't that just figure that the dude stays hot after all these years, but the chicks can't seem to?). Then it all went to crap...you dated OJ forpitysake, then married a baseball player and proceeded to beat the crap out him with your shoes...one arrest after another.


Sigh. Then came fewer roles, and then your were on Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew--but you didn't want to go to Sober Living. See what happened?

Here's a little something for everyone to remember how beautiful Tawny Kitaen was: 




But really, you were just one of many video ho vixens...except you actually had potential.

Remember the Blind Item that was SUPER-OBVIOUS?

 OhforpitySAKE, Lindsay.

Yeah. THIS one, which is from CDaN:

"This blind item is going to be phrased as a piece of advice. If you pay your drug dealer on time he won't break into your house and take your things. Just saying."

Could this be a big, fat REVEAL?? It seems several people who worked with Lindsay Lohan on Labor Pains, filmed last year, say they actually saw Nicholas Prugo hanging out on the set with her. Whaaaa?

"One person estimates she saw them together "at least 10 times."
Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested for cocaine possession in February. He was placed in a drug rehab program. He was also arrested last month for DUI. "

I still think that chick in the hoodie on the video of 
the um, "robbery", is Linds.

God, she's stupid.

Blind Item of the Day - Pass the Coke Edition! (Times 3!!)

 

So, a reality star, a designer and an actress walk into a bar. No, not into a bar actually, but it sounds much better that way. They actually just walked backstage at a show. The female reality star who has a huge history of drug problems did some coke and passed it around. The designer who was just about to show their collection, did four lines back to back to back to back, and then passed it along to our C list television actress with B list name recognition on a VERY hit show. Our actress spilled a little on her dress and when trying to brush it off, rubbed it in so took off her dress and stood there naked while she did some lines on a make up table. She then put back on the dress and joined the reality star back out front.

#1 - Reality star
#2 - Designer
#3 - Actress

via CDaN

Holy crap. I saw a bunch of questionable people together (in photos) and I have an idea who the designer could be. He didn't used to be so thin and handsome.

Whitney Houston Screws Up the New Material

Ohdearlord. Whitney. Whit-NEY. Don't blame a little chattin' with Oprah on that thing we used to call a voice. Oh, girl.

Did anyone else feel like they were watching the MADTV skit, Whitney Houston Screws Up the Classics?




"Me and Bobby's baby"--did she REALLY say that?? I can't tell which is Whitney and which is the genius of Debra Wilson.

I realize I'm gonna get verbally bitch-slapped by mah gurrls.

Today's Blind Item - OxyContin Edition

"It has been a big week for those Academy Award nominated/winning actresses and their drugs. In this week's adventure, this barely a B Academy Award nominee/winner (different from last week's druggie) was boarding a flight to Europe when she realized she had a handful of OxyContin in her purse but no prescription. Instead of throwing them away she decided to take the entire handful before proceeding through security. Then, she and her child and nanny all boarded the plane. Our actress stayed conscious for about 45 minutes which the nanny found remarkable."

[CDaN]

This one's tough on all kinds of levels. First of all, it's sad. Secondly, we need to read the clues carefully in order to rule out EVERY actress in Hollywood.

1.) She was either nominated or won the Oscar (so she may not own the Golden Eunuch, but may have her nomination framed above the toilet.)

2.) She has one child. Where dad?

3.) Thank the Lord for the nanny. But did she blab this bit of gossip and may be in need of a new job elsewhere? Ooops.

4.) Names being tossed about are:

a. Michelle Williams
b. Nicole Kidman (she's A-list, though)
c. Salma Hayek
d. Kate Hudson

My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Perkins would be proud of my outline abilities, except I'm sure she's dead.

Who do you guys think this is?

Oh GURRLL. Oprah's Got Whitney.

Oprah. Will she ask Whitney the tough questions?

The Bobby Years

Almost...but not quite.

HELL YEAH.
THIS is the Whitney we want back.

Oprah Winfrey will start a new season on Sept. 14 with a Whitney Houston interview.

Winfrey calls it "the most anticipated music interview of the decade." Hmmm. Is it, though? Will Oprah ask what we really want to know about Whitney and her crazy-ass behavior for the past 10 years? I almost think Anderson Cooper would ask the tough questions...but that's why Whitney's going with Oprah.

On The Oprah Show, Whitney will receive applause, praise and maybe even get to sing (lipsynch? Have you heard her new single?).

You bet I'll watch it, but I don't expect any huge revelations during Oprah's big coup.

Lindsay Lohan in Spanish Vogue - Dressed Up Like Her Mom?

Oh, forpitySAKE.

[annoyed SIGH]

I would love to be the one to shake Lindsay Lohan and scream, "YOU'RE NOT MARILYN MONROE!", but I know she'd just wipe the coke rez from her nose and stomp off on her Huffy bike. Jesus H. this is getting to be really annoying. Here's Stupid again, posing as Marilyn for Spanish Vogue.

Tan fea y tonta. (My smarty-pants husband speaks Spanish, ya'll!)

First of all, bitch looks EXACTLY like her nutbar of a mother, Dina. They're the same age, you know. It's some sort of a miracle or curse, depending on who you ask.

Happy 43rd Birthday Lindsay Lohan!!

Lindsay looks raggedy, ya'll.

Oh. She's 23?? Jesus Chri--oh. It's Sunday. I'll try to keep the swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain to a minimum, but What. The. EFF?? First of all, WHAT the goddamnedhell (I can't help it) is she wearing?? Those are some hideous hooves, ya'll. And is that a swimsuit?

As usual, Lindsay's looking fit, well-fed, healthy and clean. Right? RIGHT???

Today's Blind Item - Druggie Edition

"Which rocker is back on drugs? Although she claims to be clean, when she checked out of a Manhattan hotel recently, the maid found the room littered with dirty needles." [NYP]

Well, well, well. What strung-out, skinny-assed widow did we all just see picture of (getting out of a taxi) in New York City? No-brainer.

Is Sean Penn in rehab for being an a-hole?

Do me a personal favor, you butthole.

Larry, from the Three Stooges;
the role of a lifetime for Sean

is not happening.

I think that would be the best place for him. A-hole rehab.

via WWTDD:

"A Page Six blind item last week read: “Which actor is on hiatus due to a drug relapse? He claimed he needed time off because of the heartbreak of his public split, but he’s actually headed to rehab.” Looks like it’s been solved today after EW reported that Sean Penn had pulled out of Cartel and The Three Stooges."

I guaran-effing-tee that Sean or his wife, Robin Wright Penn will file for divorce again before the end of the year. He'll be back snorting lines off the toilet seat with Lindsay Lohan soon enough. Ya heard it here first.

Robin? What the hell?

Frances Bean Cobain - Bummed That Her Mom is Courtney Love. Wouldn't YOU Be??

Frances Bean Cobain and her nutty mom,
Courtney Love

Courtney Love is insane. There I said it. I know you're all shocked by that revelation, but listen up. While staying at the druggie hotel of choice, The Chateau Marmont in Hollywood, an argument ensued between mother and daughter. Seems poor Frances wanted her own room. What?? She didn't want to stay up all night listening to her mother's crazy rants?

The Gawker reports:

"Frances miraculously appears to be a well-adjusted 16-year-old despite a mother who threw her a suicide-themed birthday party and called her a "gay man trapped in a woman's body." Asking for a hotel room to escape the live version of her mom's long, scary MySpace diatribes is just evidence of her growing maturity."

I used to follow Courtney on Twitter. I got so sick of her crazed posts that I blocked her ass. Entire pages were filled with her angry, spewing bile. She was pissed off at someone every single day and rattled on about everyone stealing from her. I have a feeling the person accessing her AmEx and raiding her bank accounts is one of the MANY voices in her head. Batshit crazy.

Dreamboat Dr. Drew thinks Lindsay needs to lose a leg in order to get it together, man!

Dreamboat Dr. Drew

Lindsay is look old and rough.

My Dreamboat Dr. Drew Pinsky (of "Loveline" and "Celebrity Rehab" fame") is calling Lindsay out on her shit. I love it. Sistergirl is barely 23 and needs the Botox almost as badly as I do. "Rode hard and put away wet" should be her next tattoo, don't you think? My fascination with Linds is beginning to wane. (It's because she can't get Sam back.) But did you notice she's still wearing the gold Cartier "Love" bracelet she and Sam both were wearing? I sure don't see Samantha wearing hers anymore. Just sayin'.

Oh yeah. Dreamboat Dr. Drew. Here's what he had to say about Ms. Lohan and her ghastly lifestyle:

Dr. Drew told Parade (via NJ.com),

"I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. I'm really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to her before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up. And it's going to be a while before she does. I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does. And it scares me."

Not to be a bitch or anything, but losing a leg didn't make Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills any less of a nutcase. Know'msayin'?

Today's Blind Item: British Edition!

Ben Widdicombe Blind Item

Which notorious British druggie model who failed to attend an international photo shoot earlier this month cited "fear of swine flu" as her reason for not getting on the plane? In fact she was bundled off for a few days of emergency detox.

If you guys are struggling with this easy one, I'll be very disappointed. Very disappointed, indeed.

Tori Spelling Makes Me Hork Up Bile.

Cokehead Barbie with melted boobies!
By Mattel!

You know what? I don't feel good. I've had this goddamned flu/cold/or whateverthehell I have for almost three weeks. My throat is bright red and my left ear feels like hot needles are stabbing the eardrum. So the LAST thing(s) I wanna see before I shut down this burning laptop for the evening are Tori Spelling's deformed, lopsided, hard and cracked up silicone boobs. Look what it did to her kid! He passed the eff OUT.

Honestly, Tori. Your mom won't talk to you because she doesn't recognize your ass. Not even when you're sitting across the table from her at The Ivy...she has NO. IDEA.

Put down the chopped straw that you hide in your purse, and EAT. Then go get those tits FIXED. Jesus H.