The Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami - Grand Re-Opening Gala; I wasn't there and neither were you.

The Fountainbleu Hotel, Miami

I love it when Paltrow looks this horrendous.
Oh, Kim. I love you.
What is Hudson GRINNING about?
P. and Mama Diddy. One of them looks good.
A.Rod and his GPS Unit c/o Madonna

The Wall Street Journal reports:
MIAMI, Nov 14, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- The legendary Fontainebleau Miami Beach is rolling out its red carpet for tonight's highly anticipated unveiling of its $1 billion dollar reinvention and expansion. Once playground to Elvis, Sinatra and the Rat Pack, a new generation of VIPs will pick up where suave Hollywood legends left off. Tonight, singer and song writer Robin Thicke and a surprise performance from a Grammy Award winning global icon will entertain a star-studded audience including Sean "DIDDY" Combs, A-Rod, Terrence Howard, Chloe Sevigny and Venus and Serena Williams.
Fontainebleau Miami Beach is the resort for entertainment and glamour, where couture crowds are once again gliding across bowtie floors, posing in front of the distinctive "cheese wall" and descending from the famed Staircase to Nowhere - all conceived by the resort's original architect Morris Lapidus, who designed the curvilinear Fontainebleau as a grand stage where everyone who entered played their part.

Here I go again with the living vicariously through photographs of celebrities--isn't that all this blog is, really? Considering that I might not get to experience all that IS The Fountainblue Hotel in Miami, I'm just going to make fun of the celebrities who attended the huge re-opening last night. It seems only fair. SO. Let's start with Paltrow. I hate her like poison, and I'm gonna tell you that Every. Single. Time. Is she really so arrogant as to think she looks HOT in this?? Oh yeah, I LOVE when my boobs meet my waistline. Seriously, it's a sweet look. And the two poufs around her middle? Awesome. Clunky black shoes ALWAYS compliment a tiny saggy bag of a white dress. GAAAHH! What the goddamnhell is she WEARING?? My head is exploding. Who would have ever thought that Kim Kardashian would be the belle of the ball? She looks FLAWLESS, I tell you. Her dress fits impeccably on her curvy figure and her dainty shoes are beautiful. Subdued hair and red lips? Utter perfection. Good on ya, Kim. StupidKateHudson looks just fine. I've seen her look way worse. Nice color for a beachy hotel party, too, but mostly I just wanna smack that giant grin right off her face. P. Diddy looks handsome. His Sean John menswear line is full of elegant clothing like he's wearing. Love it. His mom, bless her heart, cannot dress for crap.

Now I'd like to address the obvious babysitting of A.Rod by Paltrow for Madonna. That whole thing makes me sick. Guy Ritchie sure looks a lot happier these days. He was not in attendance.

So, yeah. Cool looking party. God, I hate Paltrow. Who's with me?