COOP-WEGER? Aniston = Epic Fail Once Again.

The high school "hand in back pocket"
move proves it, right?

I am coveting Renee's Loubs.

File this under the category of: "As if I CARE". The only item in the revelation that Renee (Pinchy Face) Zellweger and Bradley Cooper (from "He's Just Not That Into Aniston" and "The Aniston Hangover"), are seemingly an item, is that Chiniston is again, so very, very ALONE, while Bradley and Renee are kissing in a cathedral in Barcelona, Spain.

Will Bradley still want to kiss Renee once she packs on the chub for another meaty "Bridget Jones" film? We'll see about that.

LeAnn Rimes Gets What She Deserves.

LeAnn with her giant cheating feet. Wow.

I recognize this dude, but now it's for
the wrong reasons.

Apparently LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian have still been secretly seeing each other which has finally resulted in his wife Brandy Glanville leaving him. Us Weekly reports:

"Eddie and I have decided to take some time apart," says Glanville, 36, mother of Mason, 6, and Jake, 2. "I want to do what is best for our children. Eddie and LeAnn [Rimes] deserve each other."
According to Us Weekly, the final straw came after Cibrian, 36, and Rimes, 26, were caught again together in the early afternoon of July 17 -- four months after Usmagazine.com broke the news of their affair -- outside the Malibu home of Jeff Berger, a longtime friend of the singer and her [GAY!!] husband, Dean Sheremet. (News of Cibrian having another affair -- with 24-year-old model Scheana Marie Jancan -- also broke earlier this same month.)

I know. Nobody cares.

Miss Adam (G)Lambert on 20/20

Goddamnit! I missed Miss Adam on 20/20 last night! Did anyone watch? I have a feeling it was a fluff piece. I'd like to see an interview on the LOGO network. Girls? Can we get on it? I promise I won't miss that juicy piece of journalism!!

What the goddamnHELL is up with Miss Adam's hair? I don't know of one single self-respecting queer who's wearing The Kate Gosselin.

Patrick's Comin' Home, Ya'll!!

"An' stoppa that growlin'. You sound like a big ol' bar."

Well. Here's one bit of good queer news today. Mah Peetrick's comin' home, ya'll! And looky what I found fer a present fer him!!!

Oh, we LOVE us some "Coal Miner's Daughter", ya'll. Ya haven't LIVED until you've heard Peetrick sing, "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man".

We're gonna have a Southern Gal Film Festival: "True Romance" (we adore Patricia Arquette's "Alabama" character), "Gone With the Wind, ("I don't know which-uh you boys is the handsomest!"), "Raising Arizona" (oh, Holly Hunter...perfection as "Ed").

My best girlfriend is a-comin' home!!

Today's Blind Item!!

BEN WIDDICOMBE 05/121.

Which quietly gay young actor referred to in a previous Cut the Labels item has started hanging out with a drag queen crowd? Methinks the closet door is cracking open.

Soooo, when does the new Harry Potter film come out? Oh, yeah. I said it, and YOU were thinkin' it!

I'm doing the "Gokey Out" Jig right now.

KRIS AND ADAM, ya'll!

If you missed Kris Allen's version of Kanye West's "Heartless", give a listen. He deserves to be in the Top Two, even though we know who will end up with the roses and tiara...

Oh, American Idol. Every season I just know I cannot possibly invest my undying love and affection that I bestowed on last season's contestants...but it happens every. Single. Time.

My littlest dream came true last night when that goddamned my-dead-wife-glasses-wearing dork Danny Gokey's hopes were crushed by Seacrest's stiletto heels. Krissy Allen made it through to the finals with Miss Adam Lambert. Sweet!

Speaking of Miss Lambert, my darling friend Cyndy didn't know what "gayface" meant when I used the term at lunch the other day. (I KNOW. Funny, huh?) She even mentioned that her daughter (married with children) thinks Glambert--and I quote--"MIGHT NOT BE GAY". (Hold up. I'm bent in half from the snorting laughter...)

Okay, Cyndy and Katey: Visuals of The Gayface.

Oh, Adam.

Even without make-up...

Don't forget the MAC LipGlass!

And of course, dear Patrick. Cellphone, cocktail and flip-top head smile.

The ULTIMATE in Gayface.

Just tryna edu-macate mah girls.

Oh, and wouldn't you know my yoga/meditation classes start up again NEXT TUESDAY NIGHT. Thank the Lord for DVR.

Today's Blind Item: Follow-Up!!

"This celebrity couple's pre-nuptial agreement required the wife to stay in the relationship for a certain amount of time. However, the Stepford Wife's law firm has decided that it may be difficult to impossible for the husband to enforce this. It seems that the wife knows much more than she should about the husband's long-time and very personal relationship with another high-profile man. She is using that knowledge to get her sentence reduced and to to gain custody over the couple's kid/s.

It's still not Nicole Kidman." [BlindGossip]

Holy shit. This is the second blind item about this couple. It's sounding more and more like Tom and Katie--and she has been looking really miserable and dowdy lately. YOUR thoughts? And who might the other "high-profile man" be--Will Scientolo-Smith?

Coachella 2009: Lots of Celebrities Trying to Look Cool

Sir Paul onstage
The hardcores NOT in the VIP Lounge

Robert Smith of The Cure

The Hoff

I swear to God I never thought I'd have David Effing-Hasselhoff in my blog, but looky who got in. Check out those get-ups. Stragecically torn holes in the jeans, is that is camo jacket? You just know that chick he's with spent thousands in Beverly Hills to get that hippy-chick look. "Oooooh, I think I'll tie a knot in my skirt!" Yeeeeesh. Dumbasses.

Jake (I'm not GAY!) and

Reese ("It's too hot to wear Spanx!")

I'm positive my grandmother, Babe,

would've looked way hotter than

Dita Von Tisse.

Brown socks, sandals and a dress.

Oh, Chloe Sevigne.

Here we go. Coachella, the awesome weekend-long music festival in Indio, California (in the scorching desert!) was a huge success. What effing recession? Seems this year's festival broke attendance records, which is awesome, if you ask me. I just have to laugh, though, at the mostly dorky "celebrities" who go to this thing and try desperately to "fit in".

These are the performers you missed, if you were not at Coachella with the heat-index in the mid-thousands:

Lineup
Friday, April 17th
Saturday, April 18th
Sunday, April 19th
A Place To Bury Strangers
Alberta Cross
Bajofondo
Beirut
Buraka Som Sistema
Cage the Elephant
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Craze and Klever
Crystal Castles
Dear and the Headlights
EL gran silencio
Felix da Housecat
Franz Ferdinand
Genghis Tron
Ghostland Observatory
Girl Talk
Gui Boratto
Leonard Cohen
Los Campesinos!
M. Ward
Molotov
Morrissey
N.A.S.A.
Noah and the Whale
Patton & Rahzel
Paul McCartney
Peanut Butter Wolf
People Under the Stairs
Ryan Bingham
Silversun Pickups
Steve Aoki
Switch
The Crystal Method
The Aggrolites
The Airborne Toxic Event
The Black Keys
The Bug featuring Warrior Queen
The Courteeners
The Hold Steady
The Presets
The Ting Tings
We Are Scientists
White Lies
Amanda Palmer
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
Atmosphere
Band Of Horses
Billy Talent
Blitzen Trapper
Bob Mould Band
Booker T
Calexico
Cloud Cult
Crookers
Dr. Dog
Drive By Truckers
Drop The Lime
Electric Touch
Fleet Foxes
Gang Gang Dance
Glass Candy
Glasvegas
Henry Rollins - spoken word
Ida Maria
James Morrison
Jenny Lewis
Junior Boys
Liars
Mastodon
M.I.A
Michael Franti & Spearhead
MSTRKRFT
Paolo Nutini
Para One
P.O.S.
Surkin
Superchunk
The Bloody Beetroots
The Chemical Brothers (DJ Set)
The Killers
Thenewno2
Thievery Corporation
Tinariwen
TRV$DJ-AM
Turbonegro
TV On The Radio
Zane Lowe
Zizek Club
Joss Stone
Antony and the Johnsons
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Busy P.
Christopher Lawrence
Clipse
Devendra Banhart
Etienne De Crecy
Friendly Fires
Fucked Up
Groove Armada (DJ Set)
K'naan
Late of the Pier
Lupe Fiasco
Lykke Li
M.A.N.D.Y.
Marshall Barnes
Mexican Institute of Sound
My Bloody Valentine
No Age
Okkervil River
Paul Weller
Perry Farrell
Peter Bjorn and John
Plump Djs
Public Enemy
Roni Size Reprazent
Sebastien Tellier
Shepard Fairey
Supermayer
The Cure
The Gaslight Anthem
The Horrors
The Kills
The Knux
The Murder City Devils
The Night Marchers
The Orb
Themselves
Throbbing Gristle
Vivian Girls
X
Yeah Yeah Yeah's

Those are a lot of bands, and a lot of sweaty people.

Happy Sunday! Anderson Cooper's Hot and Casual in NYC!

Nice guns, Andy !

Oh, Anderson Cooper. We love everything about you, including your man-purse. Sigh.

Dumbass Jamie Foxx Apologizes to Miley Cyrus on "The Tonight Show"...Psshhh, whatever.

Downlow Dumbass, Jamie Foxx decided that he has a movie to shill, so he had better apologize on the color television set for talking shit about a 16-year old Disney billionaire, named Miley Cyrus. DDJF's upcoming movie with Robert Downey, Jr. The Soloist looks like a maudlin piece of treacle and certainly doesn't need any more bad publicity than the crappy reviews that are forthcoming, so he dragged his sorry ass out to say this last night:

"I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. [Big laugh from the audience]. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far.

"I have a radio show…We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart.

"Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

"Didn't mean it maliciously." Oh. Okaaay. Recommending that a 16-year old start up with some smack and do a sex tape is always just good fun in Jamie's book, I guess. (Oh, except for his kid.) My bad.

Jamie Foxx is a Jerk.

I love finding old-ass, ugly pictures

of idiots "stars".


And he's acting like the total bitch that he is--oh yeah, I said it. Come get me, Jamie. I'll kick your ass, too. As much as I don't really care for Miley Cyrus (she's a big o'l' liar 'bout not havin' the sex), Jamie Foxx needs to shut that gummy hole of his. HE should talk about "gums". That is one effed-up grill he's sportin'. That aside, this rant about Miley was just gross. Oh, and Jamie? She's a BILLIONAIRE. In your effing dreams, my friend.

"Who is Miley Cyrus?" an incredulous Foxx, who has a teenage daughter of his own, said. "The one with all the gums? She gotta get a gum transplant...S--t.""She's gonna ruin Radiohead's career? The same Radiohead that gets paid a million dollars just to sample their songs?"Make a sex tape and grow up," he continued. "Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan and start seeing a lesbian and get some crack in your pipe. Catch Chlamydia on a bicycle seat. That's what I want."

Let's see how he'd respond to someone saying that about his own young daughter. Downlow dumbass needs to to sit down.

Bo Has Arrived to the White House, Ya'll

Bo, The First (GAY) Dog

Oh, Bo. The Parade isn't until summertime, but thank you anyway, for wearing your gaysuit. Will you be throwing out doggie condoms off the float, too?

So today Sen. Ted Kennedy will trot out to the White House and present a "gift" (which he can't really do, due to all the gifting rules of the Presidency) to the Obamas. Portugese Water Dogs (Porties?) aren't be favorite breed--far from it. I tend to have an aversion to curly, greasy dogs. (I KNOW. Malia's allergic, blah blah blah!) I prefer a smooth coat, say a boxer or whippet?

ANYgay, let's all give a "haaaaayy" to welcome Bo as our First (gay) Dog, bitches!!

Today's Blind Item!!

NY Daily News Blind Item
Which seemingly straight married actor conducts his man-to-man hanky-panky in the hangar of the Santa Monica Airport?

Hmmmm...can you think of two suspected married/possibly gay Scientolodorks--who own (if not fly) their own plane? I can.

Bonus Blind Item, Ya'll--And I'm Goin' to Hell.

Get it?? Get it??? Harrr harrr!

See you in hell.

Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the Dude
From Ted Casablanca Yesterday...

"Blind Vice: Chillin' Dude Does the DudeI know what you're thinking: Is anybody in Hollywood straight? Skanky David Duchovny is. Brad Pitt maybe. I think that might be it!

But seriously, the town's full of pooftahs. Get friggin' used to it. Always has been that way—always will be. It's a community full of creative types, babe, that's just the way it goes!

Take Saucy Bossy, for ince. He's made a living by exuding the easy, cool side of powerful in his acting, his looks, his walk, all his endeavors. Ya know, he's just one of those handsome, effortless figures who command authority, with just a touch of kink on the side.

Well, doll-babes, I'm here to tell you...
It's a helluva lot more than just a damn "touch" for Saucy's libidinous bent! He sneaks dudes right and left into wherever he's hanging, whether it's his house in L.A. or whatever hotel room he happens to be partying in while on location.

Oh, and all those (female) big-butt babes Bossy's always feeling up in public, at events, in clubs, etc.? "It's all an act," said a member of S.B.'s management team, which is terrified somebody's gonna catch Saucy getting vroom service from the guys.

Jeez, I swear.

It's one thing for a single guy to live a lie like this. But should a dad being doing this? What a horrible message of deceit this sends to Bossy's kid! (I mean, it's only a matter of time before the kiddo discovers pops is a down-low kinda man).

And It Ain't: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Denzel Washington"

Oooooh. I'm guessing JAMIE FOX. Ssshhhh. You didn't hear that from ME.

Cheaty McCheaterson LeAnn Rimes's Husband is G.A.Y.

Mr. and Mrs. Gayface

How shall I say tihis? Ummmm. DURRRR??? I have such sensitive gay-dar that I was thrown to the floor by the sparkly-ness the first time I saw LeAnn's husband, Dean. I think it was a few years ago on Cribs on MTV. He was swishing around their Nashville home in a tutu and a cowboy hat, I believe. I want the whole back-story on this one.

So, OF COURSE LeAnn cheated with her married with children Lifetime Movie co-star Eddie Cibiran.

E! News is reporting this juiciness:

"Dean's friends and family called into Michigan's Mojo in the Morning show to confirm that the former backup dancer is gay!!!!

Cousin Pebbles called into the morning talk show and matter-of-factly stated, "I mean, there were so many situations that happened when we were teenagers… He's gay. He's been gay since he was probably five."

Adds the babbling cousin, "The family literally used to take bets on what age he would come out, and then all of the sudden he got married!"
After Pebbles outed her cousin, the calls came pouring in!

The word from a student of the former dance teacher turned backup dancer? "He's definitely gay."

And from a woman who used to work at a restaurant with Dean's high school friends? "They called him "Dancer Dean"… [His friends] were surprised that he got married because they knew he was gay in high school the whole time."

The ratings for the Lifetime Movie. "Northen Lights" will be through the freaking ROOF...and I hope LeAnn has a pre-nup. Although, maybe they like this "arrangement". Patrick and I used to say we'd get married later in life (before I met Stephen) for insurance reasons and companionship. So there.

US Weekly has all of a sudden turned mean...usually they are super-suck-uppy so they can continue to get boring celebrity "exclusives". I guess they don't care enough about these two in the future. Check this shit out:

"Us Weekly’s posted an exclusive video of people who look a little like LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian kissing, holding hands -- and LeAnn even sucks on his fingers.

So, um, clearly this is a relationship underway. I mean, who sucks on a guy's fingers on a first date, right?
Unless it's after a few shots. In college.
Check out the video here and decide for yourself.
Twenty-two seconds into it, US Weekly describes Cibrian arriving at the restaurant. He allegedly takes Rimes' hand and they walk in the restaurant together. They sit -- center left of the frame -- and hold hands (36 seconds) and kiss (1:47). At the 2:10 mark, Rimes suggestively sucks on Cibrian's finger.

Hmm. i can see some kissing going on but the video is way to grainy and small to see if that's a finger sucking moment. Could be. What do you think?

Us Weekly reports that they have seen the $95 receipt for the dinner, paid for by Cibrian on his credit card and signed by him."

Ya'll are so nasty.