Mariah Carey actually looks GOOD!

Mimoo? Is that really you?
Mrs. and Mrs. Nick Cannon in BevHills

Sadly, I'm not usually very complimentary toward Mrs. Cannon. I've seen many a drag queen who looks so much better than Mariah normally does. But check her out! I feel likes it's 1991 again. Girl, you need to always wear your hair natural, and cut down on the slap. Wow!!

I'm totally coveting that dress, too. Mariah is working. It. OUT.

I'm in the mood for some "Emotions"...where's my old-ass, scratched-up cd?

Rihanna in Vogue Italia (Kinda NSFW)

Rihanna - Vogua Italia covergirl

Photo: Steven Klein for Vogue
WHOA! I was not expecting that!

Like, wow. (Where have I heard that before?)

Here we have our girl, Rihanna, showing quite a bit of skin thanks to THE fashion photographer, Steven Klein.

Weird timing, what with all that nasty Chris Brown crap this week.

Tell me. How do we feel about this pictures?

LeAnn Rimes and that Eddie guy are just PARADIN' it around..

Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes "golfing"

Ugh. These two again. Just flaunting it for all the world to see--too bad Eddie's wife, Brandi Glanville isn't taking this crap lying down. It seems Miss Brandi saw exactly what was going on during a double-date in the midst of filming of that gawd-awful Lifetime movie Eddie and LeAnn were filming.

via People Magazine:

"We went to play pool, went for sushi, dancing," Brandi tells People Magazine.

Not only was her husband flirting with Rimes, but also Brandi explains that LeAnn was also very affectionate with Eddie. "They were very touchy-feely," she says.

"They seemed happy. [But] I felt like it was almost like 'I love my husband. I'm not after your husband.'"

Brandi stood by her husband when news of the affair broke but Eddie would reportedly always talk about LeAnn, which was when Brandi decided it was time to call it quits.

"We were in therapy, but he never stopped talking to [LeAnn] so how could that have worked?" asks Brandi."

Eddie's looking square in the eye at some hefty spousal and child support payments. Lawd knows he doesn't get that much work.

Jada Pinkett-Smith Makes Me Wanna Wretch

OhforPITYsake.

Who is willing to hold my hair back while I puke? These two really need to knock this the eff off. Both of them better call 911, because their pants are SO on fire that I think they are to blame for the Southern California fires. Check out the crap that Jada told Self Magazine:

"When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on."

That is complete and utter crap. Any woman on her way to the OSCARS, would never let anyone (especially her husband?) touch her ass--let alone her FACE prior to the biggest night in Hollywood--especially when she's lookin' for work. Oh, that and the fact they both had just groomed their BEARDS. Know'msayin'??

Jon and Kate DIVORCING? Whaaaa???

Ick.

This announcement falls under the categories of:

1.) DUURRRR!! and

2.) Milking their 15 minutes (or a couple of seasons on the teevee)...and hoping to make it another 30 minutes or so. Bleh.

via Jivid:

"After months of speculation, the 10-year marraige of Jon & Kate Plus Eight's stars Kate and Jon Gosselin appears to be coming to an end.

Documents to initiate a legal split were filed at the Bucks County Courthouse in Reading, Pa., Monday afternoon.

Fans who have watched the couple's popular TLC show – or read the voluminous coverage of the Gosselin marriage in the press – will hardly be surprised: The duo had long maintained a tense relationship, with Jon recently telling PEOPLE he wanted a less high-profile life, while Kate appeared to remain committed to their TV career.

In February, photos surfaced of Jon in the company of young women during a solo visit to see his mother, who was recuperating from surgery, in Huntingdon, Pa. The couple quickly attempted to quash rumors of problems. But in May, the scandal erupted again when 23-year-old Deanna Hummel was photographed driving Jon's car home from a bar late at night.

When the fifth season of the Gosselins' show premiered May 25, the couple admitted to having problems and not knowing where their relationship was headed. "Parents of multiples have triple the divorce rate," Kate said through tears. "I was thinking we were going to beat that. I don't know if I can say that anymore."

TLC promotions of the show are promising a major announcement about the family in Monday night's episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight."

So now what? Are they splitting the show in two? Or ten? These poor eight little kids have been subjected to so much crap, they are gonna need years of therapy.

I hope this is a lesson to anyone who wants to "share their story" on a reality show. It's not about sharing anything, other than misery and emotional abuse of these kids. A little money and celebrity certainly screwed this family up royally.

Ugh. I'm sick of Kate and her haircut and bitchiness and Jon and his burgeoning mid-life crisis, earrings and apartment hunting. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Today's Blind Item!!

"When most couples divorce, they want it over with as quickly as possible so that they can move on with their lives, or for the sake of the children, or because lengthy divorces cost more money. Not this couple! They are currently negotiating to stretch out the divorce as long as possible. Even though they can't stand each other - and have lived separately for a while now - as long as the family is somewhat intact, they both make a lot more money than they could with a regular job. Right now they are negotiating for two plus years of continued steady income. Yes, that's right. He is just as motivated by the money as she." [BlindGossip]

GASP! Could it actually be that horrible couple on TCL with all those kids? You know, the wife who's supposedly having an affair with her "bodyguard" (psshh..like she needs one), and the husband who's lurking around NYC hunting for a sweet bachelor pad?

No. I've never heard of 'em, eiher.

Jon and Kate + 8, Spanking and Weed?

Kate smacking Leah

What does it look like to you??

I'll be happy when these people are off TV and magazine covers. I really want them to leave the lure of the public eye and raise their children properly, but who am I kidding? Jon and Kate have defined the phrase, "crazy media whores". These new ads on TLC for their TV show has Kate claiming that there is a "life-chianging" events for thier family. Umm...durrr.

Here's what Kate had to say after being photographed spanking her daughter, Leah:

"Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation," she said through her reps. TLC's spokeswoman Laurie Goldberg also told ABCNews.com that Gosselin called police, presumably around the time of the incident, "because the paparazzi were trespassing and blocking the street."

Today we have photos of Jon smoking what appears to a a joint. You can't tell me he's taken to rolling his own ciggies like Johnny Depp does, because there's no effing way.

Jon and Kate plus Totally Make Sick.

Keep your money. Here's enough Jon & Kate for a GD LIFETIME.

Can we STOP with all this??

GAAAAHHH! I've freakin' HAD it with these two fame-whores. I simply cannot take it anymore. Jon & Kate (it's a law the we use the ampersand) have hated each other for years, have been living separate lives for months as well as allegedly (pssh) cheating on each other for ages, Jon's hairplugs look like crap and Kate's bellybutton is freakishly too high on her square torso.

Oh, and now it's being reported the 8 kids are complaining about Mommy being "mean", and whining, "where's Daddy?". They won't be happy until their divorce proceedings are scheduled on Judge Judy's court docket.

MTV Movie Awards? No thank you.

Kristin (Sourpuss) Stewart,
from that dumb vampire movie

Back in the day (that's what we say now rather than, "why, back in my day" like an old biddy), I used to watch MTV. I loved the awards shows. When my boys, Hunter and Alex were in school, we always knew the MTV Video Awards were on when school started and the MTV Movie Awards were on when school let out. They were good back then...Chris Rock in 1999? The best awards show ever. Making fun of Ricky Martin? Good times.

So this show last night, from what I gather was about that lame-ass "Twilight" crap with those two surly actors, Kristin (Sourpuss) Stewart and Robert Pattinson. I don't find him attractive in the least, and she's a GD ungrateful little snip, who always is reportedly high on weed or something. (Remember the photo I posted of her lighting up her pipe on the front porch? Yeah. Awesome.)

Obviously, I didn't watch the show last night. I don't feel guilty or like it's something I was supposed to watch because I write a celebrity blog. Believe me, I can bitch about these people without seeing them half-ass promote their movies and act like drunk a-holes. I'm sure MTV will rerun the show and I may tune in for a minute or two until my hair catches fire, as its been known to do when I'm in a fury. All it will take is seeing that "Twilight" chick mumble her crabby way through her speech and drop her award in her drunken stupor, I guaran-effing-tee it. (She really did drop her award. Idiot.)

Okay. I'm ready for the Twihards to come and get me.

While we're on the subject of Miss Adam Lambert--AT&T, WTF??

Gosh, they make a darling couple.
I'm dead serious, by the way.

This "American Idol" controversy is getting juicier everyday. AT&T seems to have had a BIG hand in helping Kris Allen get more votes--in his home state of Arkansas, ya'll. According to TheHollywoodGossip.com it is being reported:

"According to a report in The New York Times, one of the show's biggest sponsors may have played a vital role in Allen's victory.

AT&T, by its own admission, provided phones for free text-messaging services at parties organized by fans of the Arkansas native.

At a pair of gatherings in Allen's honor - held during, and immediately following, last week's Tuesday night performance show - representatives of AT&T (whose network is the only one that can be used to cast American Idol votes via text message) passed around free phones.

No such efforts were made on behalf of Adam Lambert.

Moreover, The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette states that AT&T employees actually instructed Allen fans on how to send 10 or more text messages at the press of a single button.

In a statement issued yesterday, a spokesman for AT&T didn't deny these accusations:

“In Arkansas, we were invited to attend the local watch parties organized by the community. A few local employees brought a small number of demo phones with them and provided texting tutorials to those who were interested."

Interestingly, Fox has refused to release the voting percentages or figures from this season.

Why would AT&T possibly favor Allen over Lambert? Might the company prefer a clean-cut, uncontroversial champion of a show it sponsors? We don't know.

But this rumor won't quiet critics that believe Lambert lost due to his sexual orientation."

Sigh. Whatev. Honestly. We all know Miss Adam is going to rock his glittery shit for many,many years. I still say not winning "A.I." was the best thing for his career. What do you guys think about all this?

Chris Brown Insists He "Ain't a Monster". Really??

Guess what, Chris? You ARE a monster. I can think of many more names to call you. Don't you just love the way he shrugs off all responsibility by calling his critics "haters". That's right, Chris. It was a crowd of "haters" who choked and beat the shit out of your girlfriend, Rihanna.

What a dumbass thug.

Clay Aiken is STILL a jealous bitch--apology or not!

GAAAHHH! My EYES are bleeding!

The lovely Miss Adam Glambert - H O T, ya'll!

I'm saving ya'll the $29.95 I KNOW you were going to send to PayPal to join the Special Clay Aiken blog.. Seems Miss Bitch decided to half-ass apologize for the "ear bleeding" remarks she had the nerve to spew toward our Miss Adam Glambert. This apology is like when some total skank hurts your feelings then says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." In other words...it's not much of an apology at all.

Aiken writes:

"I'll be the first to admit that my opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the bloggers seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, (I'm sorry you feel that way, Ms. Gayken) they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say! If only many of them took the time to pay attention to important things like the US economy and the welfare of the world's children. (Insert full body eyeroll here.) But… nah… I could blog about that type of stuff anytime and most wouldn't think twice, but let me say something that they can pick and choose quotes and misinterpret me… and it's showtime! I never assumed my opinion mattered so much! I guess I may have been wrong."

"That said, since my previous blog got dissected like a biology lab frog, i suppose I should clarify and even retract some of what I wrote. I am sure that some were upset by my choice of words describing my opinion of a performance I heard from Adam Lambert. I hope no one actually believed that blood truly poured forth from my ears when I heard him. (If only that HAD happened!) I obviously meant it as a colorful statement to imply that I did not enjoy what I heard. Any performer hopes that their music will appeal to all people, but no singer realistically expects it to. God knows, I am SURE there are PLENTY of people who can't stand to hear me sing either. (Plenty? How about MOST of us?) I wouldn't dream of assuming that, and I am sure that far worse things have been said about my performances than I would even venture to type here. To me, that's fine. I don't expect unanimous, nor even majority support for my music. But, my guess is Adam doesn't either. I would not venture to make judgements [sic] on the personality or demeanor of anyone I don't know, so none of what I said in my previous blog was directed as a 'slam' on Adam as a person. At the same time, I wouldn't dream of slamming him as an entertainer. He does what he does, because he enjoys it, and he obviously has many fans who enjoy it as well. If what I said in my previous blog regarding my impression of a single performance from Adam upset or offended any of his fans, I expect that the mature ones will realize that it was simply a poorly worded metaphor describing my personal tastes. The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he's smart he couldn't give a crap what I think of his 'Ring of Fire' performance. As an entertainer, Adam knows that one person's opinion of one performance really matters a little less than zero, in the grand scheme of things. He could not have gotten on Idol (nor made it as far as he did) without an immense amount of talent. He surely doesn't need my approval to know he has a gift. At the same time, he realizes that amazing talent doesn't always equal universal appeal. (I could NEVER have the amount of skill and talent that ballet dancers have! (Ohhh...Gayken is letting us in on his dreams of wearing a tutu and "Swan Lake" feathers for "So You think You Can Dance"!) that's talent! But, I don't particularly enjoy it! Pants on FIRE, Gayken.) I am sure that I will have plenty of opportunities in the coming years to hear Adam sing. I imagine he'll be around for years to come. But in the meantime, I definitely don't want to stoop to the level of so many negative freaks on the internet (who the HELL are you callin' a "freak", you eyelash dying, butthole??)… so, I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d---! God knows he shouldn't."

First of all, the Gayken needs to realize that once you show your true colors as a raving jealous bitch in PUBLIC, you DON'T APOLOGIZE. Sister needs to embrace her bitchiness. Girl just keep waggin' your finger and jerkin' your head around.

Bottom line. Gayken is mega-jel and wishes she could get up on that hot bitch, Glambert, but knows she's waaaay outa her league.

We HEART Miss Adam!!

Angelina Supports Brad at Cannes

The Golden Couple
Gorgeous.
Unbelieveably chic...and sexy.

The red carpet at The 2009 Cannes Film Festival

Oh, Brad and Angie. Despite the rumors of fights, you two looked a-bloody-MAZING last night at the premiere of Brad's new film Inglorious Basterds, which was directed by Quentin Tarantino. Brad, of course was dolled up in Tom Ford (my favorite menswear designer) and Angelina wore a nude, chiffon Versace with nude stilletos. (Do YOU have your nude heels yet? I do!)

Yes. Brad and Angelina looked fanastic. Now, THERE'S some news. Pssh.

Please read about Quentin Tarantino's film, Inglorious Basterds (yes, that's how it's spelled.) at The Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/20/brad-pitt-in-cannes-for-i_n_205646.html

You've GOT to be kidding me. Sean Penn and Robin Wright call off divorce a-bloody-GAIN??

Uhhhh...good luhhhhck with that.

Oh, to be a fly on THAT wall. "Listen Robin. I'll try to keep my screwing around with starlets out of the media. That's ALL I can promise. What do you MEAN what's that on my nose??"

Yeeesh. My sympathies are wearing a bit thin where Robin is concerned. Is Sean really worth the trouble? According to People Magazine these two have called of their divorce proceedings for the THIRD (millionth) time.

"The Oscar-winning actor filed a request Tuesday to dismiss his legal separation case, Marin County, Calif., court records show. "This appears to imply that they're reconciling again," says L.A. divorce lawyer Lynn Soodik, who is not involved with the case.

"It's unlikely Sean Penn would request a dismissal for any other reason." This is the second time the actor has rescinded divorce papers. Penn, 48, and Wright Penn, 43, started divorce proceedings in December 2007 after 11 years of marriage. But they put the brakes on their divorce action four months later, in April 2008, when a court clerk dismissed the divorce petition at their request. "

Why do I feel as though I'll be reporting that these two are breaking up for the four millionth time due to coke and screwing around again? Oh, Robin. How's Rihanna supposed to learn??

Suddenly Katie Holmes is Old.

Katie (Deadeye) Holmes and that tiny idiot,

Okay. Not suddenly, but holyLord she look like an ol' biddy! First StupidTom Cruise insisted she dress like a 12 year old boy,now he's dressing her up like his mum! Nice grandmother-of-the-bride emsemble. Wow. Here she is with that little goon at the premiere of Star Trek last night in Hollywood. Yeeeesh.

Doesn't anyone care about Katie at all? Obviously she is a miserable cow...a sulky moo, if you will. (Wink.)

I think we should band together to help dear Katie escape. Who's in?

Dumbass Jamie Foxx Apologizes to Miley Cyrus on "The Tonight Show"...Psshhh, whatever.

Downlow Dumbass, Jamie Foxx decided that he has a movie to shill, so he had better apologize on the color television set for talking shit about a 16-year old Disney billionaire, named Miley Cyrus. DDJF's upcoming movie with Robert Downey, Jr. The Soloist looks like a maudlin piece of treacle and certainly doesn't need any more bad publicity than the crappy reviews that are forthcoming, so he dragged his sorry ass out to say this last night:

"I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. [Big laugh from the audience]. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far.

"I have a radio show…We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart.

"Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

"Didn't mean it maliciously." Oh. Okaaay. Recommending that a 16-year old start up with some smack and do a sex tape is always just good fun in Jamie's book, I guess. (Oh, except for his kid.) My bad.

Happy Easter! We're havin' stuffed Mariah with all the fixin's!

The oh, so dainty Mariah Carey

with her hubby/dog & umbrella carrier

Oh, I fully realize this is a day late, but it was too fabulous to ignore. WHAT is wrong with Mimoo? I doubt she's pregnant, unless her womb is in her face.

Mean. Mean. Funny. Mean.

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan. Sigh.

Lindsay posing for paps

Sam is moving ON.

So many thing to discuss about Lindsay and Sam. Here it is in a nutshell.

Sam's sick of Lindsay's drama-rama. Sam reportedly changed the locks on her house to keep Linds out. Sam had a party at Party Central, the Chateau Marmont Hotel last week and hired bodyguards, who had to physically keep Lindsay from crashing the party. Lindsay found another random party at Chateau and tried to get into that one--didn't work.

Apparently Lindsay's dumbass mom, Dina (along with 15 year old sister, Ali--who doesn't appear to go to school of any kind) are in town to help Lindsay through all this shit. Just a few days ago, Dina and Ali were turned away at the door of club Villa--because ALI IS FIFTEEN. Dina proceded to use the "don't you know who I am" line to no avail. Jesus. We wonder why Lindsay is so effed up?

There are also rumors of Sam already replacing Lindsay with a "dark-haired Lindsay lookalike". This would account for Lindsay's crazy ramblings on Twitter about Sam cheating on her.

E! News is also reporting:

"Lindsay Lohan was dining with her mom, Dina, when who should be at the exact same restaurant but ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Coincidence?

Sam was out of town deejaying this weekend, but returned in time for a quick run-in on Sunday night at Cecconi's restaurant in West Hollywood.
Sam was eating with a group of guys, but a source says she ventured over to the Lohan table for a brief hello before leaving alone.

According to another source (Lindsay), there is no truth to the report that she was "totally smashed" at a Friday-night fete in the Hollywood Hills...
OK! magazine reported that people were pouring vodka into her cup. "She was way beyond incoherent," the mag claims.

But Linds tells E! News exclusively that she's still sober. "I was drinking something called Neuro Bliss," she says.

According to their website, the health drink is “proven to relax neural tissues, and to enhance brain activity, focus and provide a sense of well-being.” That's a new twist on drinking away the breakup blues."
—Reporting by Ken Baker

Whew. I'm out of breath. Right now it seems Lindsay has NO career whatsoever. She's too risky in terms of being insured for any kind of acting job, not to mention all the chaos that follows her wherever she goes. No one will hire her at this point.

Sam, on the other hand, seems to be making lots of money DJing and her singing career is taking off. Not surprising, I like her voice a lot.

www.myspace.com/samantharonson "If It's Gonna Rain" is my favorite.

Brit and Kevin Return to the Trailer Park, Ya'll!!

I expect the crew from Cops to arrive at any minute to the "Circus Tour", although I'd love the gang from Reno 911 to bust in on Britney and Kevin's sexy-times. Just like Bobby and Whitney, "they fight hard and they love hard". Ewww. It'll be any second before someone, I don't know who, calls the cops. Daddy Jamie, maybe?

The Star is reporting:

One source said , "It's like they're newlyweds all over again. Brit and Kevin can't keep their hands off each other! The flings have made them both a lot happier."

I feel a puke coming on...

And, WHO walks around barefoot with a bag o' Cheetos in public these days?? Oh yeah. Britney Spears.

Trainwreck ahead, ya'll.

Chris Brown to Apologize to Rihanna on Oprah?

"Gurrrrl...he WILL hit you again."

Honestly? I think this story is a load of crap. Can you even imagine Oprah pulling a stunt like making StupidChrisBrown come on her show and "apologize" to Rihanna? Come ON. Nevertheirregardless (thank you, David Sedaris for that word), I thought I'd pass this on to ya'll:

"Sources tell Look Magazine that Oprah Winfrey and Rihanna have been secretly talking after she told the R&B star not to reconcile with Chris Brown on her daily show.

She is rumored to have asked Chris Brown to not only pay a visit to Oprah but apologize to her on the show.

Sources tell the publication,

“Rihanna has been talking to Oprah Winfrey on a regular basis since late February, when Oprah begged her not to take Chris back. She’s been having second thoughts about them being back together. Agreeing to go on Oprah’s show and tell the world how sorry he is will help make up her mind”.

As IF.