"Beyonce is a stupid person." Hey, I'm just tellin' ya what I heard...

Beyonce`: "You expect me to READ that?"

This. Is. HILARIOUS. Check this crap out, y'all. Effing embarrassingly hilarious.

"In a shocking display of poor diplomacy, Egypt’s chief Egyptologist Zahi Hawass allegedly called American pop-star Beyonce a “stupid person” during her brief tour of the Giza pyramids earlier this week. Writing in al-Shorouk newspaper, Summer al-Gamal said that Hawass became fed up with the pop star’s attitude after she did not show the interest Hawass felt was deserved of the pyramids.

According to Gamal, during Hawass’ self-guided tour, he said “I showed her the Sphinx and I gave her a book on King Tutankhamen,” but then his anger and frustration made its way to the forefront.

“Then he stopped being diplomatic and said in anger, ’she’s a stupid person and she doesn’t understand a thing and she doesn’t want to understand’,” wrote Gamal.

Source: ONTD

What was she thinking and more importantly, WHAT the goddamnhell was she wearing?? Oh...HousePyramid of Dereon, of course!

Natalie Portman believes that eating meat is just as bad as rape. Wow. Really?

Someone needs to keep her mouth SHUT.

So here's the thing. Natalie Portman has equated eating meat with RAPE. I will be so bold as to say her stint at an Ivy League university taught her NOTHING. It sounds to me that fooling around with (read: snorting coke and eff you see kaying Sean Peen Penn while he was still married) gave her the license to say completely stupid things like this:

"I say that Foer's (who wrote an essay for The New York Times magazine) ethical charge against animal eating is brave because not only is it unpopular, it has also been characterized as unmanly, inconsiderate, and juvenile. But he reminds us that being a man, and a human, takes more thought than just "This is tasty, and that's why I do it." He posits that consideration, as promoted by Michael Pollan in The Omnivore's Dilemma, which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don't believe in rape, but if it's what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it)."

I'm more than appalled by Portman's statement. It bears noting, too, that she was one of the many "artists" who signed the petition for the release of child rapist Roman Polanski. Clearly, this naive young woman has no idea what kind of horror rape victims suffer by comparing the assault to merely eating a cheeseburger.


I would be very pleased if Portman took a moment to truly think about what she said regarding a very serious issue. I'd also be happy if she spent some time hearing the very real stories of women and children who have suffered the atrocity of rape. 

1/800-656-HOPE

Remember the Blind Item that was SUPER-OBVIOUS?

 OhforpitySAKE, Lindsay.

Yeah. THIS one, which is from CDaN:

"This blind item is going to be phrased as a piece of advice. If you pay your drug dealer on time he won't break into your house and take your things. Just saying."

Could this be a big, fat REVEAL?? It seems several people who worked with Lindsay Lohan on Labor Pains, filmed last year, say they actually saw Nicholas Prugo hanging out on the set with her. Whaaaa?

"One person estimates she saw them together "at least 10 times."
Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested for cocaine possession in February. He was placed in a drug rehab program. He was also arrested last month for DUI. "

I still think that chick in the hoodie on the video of 
the um, "robbery", is Linds.

God, she's stupid.

Blind Item of the Day - Pass the Coke Edition! (Times 3!!)

 

So, a reality star, a designer and an actress walk into a bar. No, not into a bar actually, but it sounds much better that way. They actually just walked backstage at a show. The female reality star who has a huge history of drug problems did some coke and passed it around. The designer who was just about to show their collection, did four lines back to back to back to back, and then passed it along to our C list television actress with B list name recognition on a VERY hit show. Our actress spilled a little on her dress and when trying to brush it off, rubbed it in so took off her dress and stood there naked while she did some lines on a make up table. She then put back on the dress and joined the reality star back out front.

#1 - Reality star
#2 - Designer
#3 - Actress

via CDaN

Holy crap. I saw a bunch of questionable people together (in photos) and I have an idea who the designer could be. He didn't used to be so thin and handsome.

Vanessa Hudgens Cannot Define "Irony".

Miss Hudgens, with Photoshopped undies

Heavy sigh. Oh, Vanessa. I love how you answered the question, "...and what is your hobby?" by some (inadvertently?) funny journalist:

“Probably photography; I think it's a lot of fun … savoring the moment.”

I wonder if this is really what you meant? Between those Cyrus girls and their stripper poles and you and your nakey phone photos, Disney is headed toward being the new Vivid Studios. Know'msayin'?

Cameron Douglas is just another spoiled, bored Hollywood brat

Awesome choice of professions, dude.

Michael, Kirk and Cameron Douglas.
"Everyone smile and pretend we're not
all screwed up! CHEEESE!"

Let the pity party begin, ya'll.

Here we have another cliche`--and in turn, a litany of "excuses" for his chosen profession: Cameron Douglas, the child (now 30!) of Hollywood "royalty"--with a reported $88 million Trust Fund, a product of too much too soon, a father who was never "there" for him, his parents divorced, his dad claimed sex addiction was the reason he cheated on his mom, too much to live up to compared to his lineage (in this case, Kirk Douglas is his grandfather and Michael Douglas is Daddy), BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Oh, shut UP, you delusional, arrogant little prick.

Jesus H. I'm so sick of these over indulged, totally privileged little bitches who think they are living a movie role by becoming a "badass drug dealer". Dude? You are NOT in your dad's movie, "Traffic", but hopefully, you'll see the inside of a real-life prison.

Oh, and lest we forget, this 30 year old idiot was evicted from his rented Laurel Canyon earlier this year. Take a look at what was found in that residence, while he ran off like a scared 7th grader when the cops showed up:

"....Cameron Douglas has been given the boot from his leased home in L.A.'s Laurel Canyon. Classic signs of drug use were discovered in the home vacated by Cameron and his roommate, including glassine envelopes and home drug-testing kits, spoons used to heat a substance over the stove and filthy syringes and mirrors covered in white powder.

"A lot of drug activity must have been going on in there," says landlord Sky Reiss tells Star in an exclusive interview. Cam -- who at 30 has been in an out of rehab and has multiple arrests for cocaine possession, among things -- moved in last March. When he stopped making rent payments, his famous father picked up the $4,200-a-month tab for "a couple of months," says Reiss.

"But then his payments stopped too." So earlier this month an L.A. Sheriff arrived with an eviction notice. "Cameron and his roommate ran out the back door, leaving Cam's girlfriend behind to deal with it," says Reiss. And Reiss was left to deal with the "disgusting mess."

And now, here's an account of Cameron's latest little problem with the "dirty bathtub gin" this week:

via TMZ:

"The DEA claims Michael Douglas' son Cameron is a big time crystal meth dealer -- one who moved "pounds" of the drug since 2006.

According to his federal indictment filed in New York, DEA agents claim they ran a 3-year investigation, proving the 30-year-old actor sold "multiple pounds" of crystal meth to several people -- many of whom are now cooperating in the prosecution of Douglas.

All three witnesses mentioned in the document have pled guilty to narcotics violations. They are cooperating in the hopes of receiving a reduced sentence.

Douglas has been charged with one count of possession with the intent to distribute 500 grams or more of crystal meth and one count of possession with intent to distribute 50 grams or more of "Ice" -- which is the purest form of meth.

The DEA further alleges that Cameron deposited and withdrew tens of thousands of dollars in cash from the drug deals.

According to the indictment, Douglas was set up in New York after agents ran a sting operation-- in which they caught Douglas accepting $15,000 in cash in exchange for a promise to deliver a half pound of crystal meth."

That is one hell of a lot of crystal meth. If they don't treat this smug little a-hole like anyone else in the same situation, I'm gonna be pissed. He needs a bit more than 30 days in a cushy, effing REHAB in Malibu.

Know'msayin'??

You've GOT to be kidding me. Sean Penn and Robin Wright call off divorce a-bloody-GAIN??

Uhhhh...good luhhhhck with that.

Oh, to be a fly on THAT wall. "Listen Robin. I'll try to keep my screwing around with starlets out of the media. That's ALL I can promise. What do you MEAN what's that on my nose??"

Yeeesh. My sympathies are wearing a bit thin where Robin is concerned. Is Sean really worth the trouble? According to People Magazine these two have called of their divorce proceedings for the THIRD (millionth) time.

"The Oscar-winning actor filed a request Tuesday to dismiss his legal separation case, Marin County, Calif., court records show. "This appears to imply that they're reconciling again," says L.A. divorce lawyer Lynn Soodik, who is not involved with the case.

"It's unlikely Sean Penn would request a dismissal for any other reason." This is the second time the actor has rescinded divorce papers. Penn, 48, and Wright Penn, 43, started divorce proceedings in December 2007 after 11 years of marriage. But they put the brakes on their divorce action four months later, in April 2008, when a court clerk dismissed the divorce petition at their request. "

Why do I feel as though I'll be reporting that these two are breaking up for the four millionth time due to coke and screwing around again? Oh, Robin. How's Rihanna supposed to learn??

Dumbass Jamie Foxx Apologizes to Miley Cyrus on "The Tonight Show"...Psshhh, whatever.

Downlow Dumbass, Jamie Foxx decided that he has a movie to shill, so he had better apologize on the color television set for talking shit about a 16-year old Disney billionaire, named Miley Cyrus. DDJF's upcoming movie with Robert Downey, Jr. The Soloist looks like a maudlin piece of treacle and certainly doesn't need any more bad publicity than the crappy reviews that are forthcoming, so he dragged his sorry ass out to say this last night:

"I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. [Big laugh from the audience]. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far.

"I have a radio show…We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart.

"Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

"Didn't mean it maliciously." Oh. Okaaay. Recommending that a 16-year old start up with some smack and do a sex tape is always just good fun in Jamie's book, I guess. (Oh, except for his kid.) My bad.

Yet ANOTHER A-Hole Coming to Chris Brown's Defense...Keenan Thompson Needs His Own Bitchslap

Keenan (super-unfunny, lucky to have a job) Thompson

...and I am just the bitch to do it. EFF him.

Here's what the idiot had to say about SNL, Chris and Rihanna:

"It's not up to me, but I'm sure we would if he had another hit single," Thompson tells Usmagazine.com. "We don't care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!""If we had them both on the show, that would be crazy," Thompson told Us at the GBK Luxury Lounge in L.A. on Friday.Thompson, a regular on the sketch show, says that this particular scandal is "an unfortunate situation.""I don't know the whole story, but I know how women can get when you get a text message from another female..."

Yeah. Those crazy bitches can't take a joke, can they, Keenan?

Is Gayle King the Only One With Balls Around Here?

US Magazine is reporting that Oprah's BFF, Gayle King is having none of Chris Brown's lame-ass apology (he's sorry for himself, right?). Right now? She's one of My Favorite Things.

Gayle is NOT havin' it.

Gayle King said she wasn't moved by Chris Brown apology, in which he said Sunday he is "saddened ... over what transpired" with girlfriend Rihanna.
"I can't think of anything that makes me support anything that Chris Brown is saying at this time," King tells Extra. "And my heart just aches for Rihanna."

Meanwhile, a few other wussy enabling idiots are giving the same old "best wishes to both of 'em" crap. For instance:

NIA LONG"I know both of them well. They're young, and all we can do is pray for them at this point."

RUBEN STUDDARD"I'm still praying for him. Everybody always has something negative to say about everything, and I always try to be positive. They've both made wonderful careers for themselves, and I think they will continue to do so for the rest of their lives." WHAT? Is the fading "American Idol" still hoping someone might actually work with him? Is that why he's "praying for CHRIS"? I'll give him something positive...shut the eff UP, Lardass. Yeah, I said it.

MARY J. BLIGE"They're both young and beautiful people, and that's it." AND SO IT'S OKAY??? "No Mo' Drama", my ASS, Mary J. Thanks for giving your ghetto stamp of approval.

Goddammit this shit makes me sick.

KELLIE PICKLER"I think the world would be a better place if people worried more about what they needed to do to be better people, than ... judging others on what kind of people they are. I don't know what really went on with Rihanna and Chris, and I don’t think anyone else does, either. The only people who really, truly know are only the two of them, so I am not going to assume or comment. I'm going to mind my own business." Listen, Ellie Mae, keep your simple minded grit-hole SHUT. Your plastic surgeon is on line one. (YAY! Two birds with one blog!!) It's not just me, is it, ya'll? Take a look fer yerselfs.

Pickler's PROM dress, forpitysake!

Oh, booby implants and eyebrow lift.

Okay. I feel a little better for venting. Sorta. Not really.

Rod Blagojovich is a Narcissistic, Megolomaniacal Sleaze. Redundant? I Don't Think So.

You're OUT, A-Hole!

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) — Gov. Rod Blagojevich was unanimously convicted at his impeachment trial and thrown out of office Thursday, ending a nearly two-month crisis that erupted with his arrest on charges he tried to sell Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat. Blagojevich becomes the first U.S. governor in more than 20 years to be removed by impeachment.
After a four-day trial, the Illinois Senate voted 59-0 to convict him of abuse of power, automatically removing the second-term Democrat. Democratic Lt. Gov. Patrick Quinn, one of his critics, immediately became governor.

Each senator was given five minutes to speak before the 59-0 final vote on Blagojevich’s fate. Republican Sen. Dale Righter of Mattoon called him “a devious, cynical, crass and corrupt politician.”

When I've watched this a-hole during interviews or speeches wherein he's defending his actions, I feel as though I'm watching StupidTomCruise spout off about the evils of psychiatry. (You're being glib, Matt!") The impeached, shamed and now former governor of Illinois has such an incredibly pompous, arrogant and clueless manner that he doesn't seem real. On the Today Show, Blagojavich spewed the following craziness:

As he was taken from his home by federal agents on Dec. 9, Blagojevich told NBC, "I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now."

Blink. Blink. Yep. In his mind, we'll be celebrating RBB Day by dropping f-bombs in reverance to Robert B. Blagojavich. Eff HIM.

"Evidence? WHAT evidence??"

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes LOVE Plastic Surgery! Oh, and Tom Dreamed of Moscow as a Child! Yeeeesh.

Captain Scientology at the Moscow premiere of "Valkyrie"
Tom, pre-"tightening"?

Katie with her famous pinched half-smile
Katie, pre-"Cruise-iness"

Cosmetic surgery website http://www.makemeheal.com/ reports these interesting tidbits regarding Tom and Katie:

"As Tom Cruise ages he seems to grow younger with each year. After his latest film Valkyrie hit theatres and he and wife Katie Holmes hit the red carpet, Make Me Heal noticed that the Top Gun star looked more refreshed than he had in years, leading us to suspect plastic surgery.

In the past, Make Me Heal has noted changes in the size and shape of 46-year old Tom’s nose.

Plastic surgeon Dr. John Di Saia says, “I’ve seen images of him as a younger man. He seems to have had a nose or two.”

Since meeting Cruise, 28-year old Holmes has transformed into a striking, sophisticated Hollywood leading lady, a far cry from her wholesome, girl-next-door look of Dawson’s Creek. Holmes has blossomed into a pretty woman and her new nasal addition makes her look more mature. Dr. Youn adds “Her nose looks more sleek now, and this makes her look more mature, more adult. I do think her old nose fits with her face well, making her look like a “Midwest girl-next-door” type. The newer nose makes her look more “Hollywood.”

Katie Holmes’ new look has caused gossip folk to buzz about other possible procedures in the mix, including cheek implants and a brow lift. "

HA! I knew it!

Now can we address Tom's "childhood dream of visiting Moscow"? Let me get this straight (**cough cough**). Are we to believe that this weird kid, raised by a divorced mom and sister Lee Ann, was up in his room plotting to kill an already dead Hilter while working on an itinerary to Russia? Oh. Okaay. What a goon.

Please refer to my post earlier in the month regarding Tom, G.I. Joe and Barbie's ("Barb's") man, Ken. I stand by those statements.

Paula Abdul Thinks She's Talented!

Paula Abdul is completely sane. Right? Right??

Oh Paula. I'm cringing with mortification for you. Usually, we wait for other people to say these things...but I guess she'd be waiting for-bloody-ever for that to happen. So here's what Paula congratulated herself for achieving:

"Says the American Idol judge, "My videos stand the test of time. They are like the almanac for every performer. Even Rhianna has come up to me and said 'I hope you don't mind.' And Beyonce. You can see the influence of what I've done. It's really fun to see that I've left a mark. It was my idea to create an animated character. It takes a lot of focus, a lot time, and a lot of money."

Gulp. Blink blink.

Ryan Seacrest is a Complete Idiot. The End.

Seacrest attempts a "high five" with a blind dude.


Seacrest being ignored by Brad and Angie on
Sunday night's Golden Globes' red carpet event. Heh.

Ryan Seacrest is a douche. He wouldn't be where he is right this second had it not been for a relationship (read: spoon-fed career) with closeted (though visible) gay, Merv Griffin. I'm going to use the "I have it on good authority" line again on this statement: Ryan was Merv's "boy" back in the day. Lots of people know this--and now YOU do, too. Seadouche is always saying he wants to be "the next Merv Griffin or Dick Clark"...I don't think those two have these kind of embarrassing moments on their resumes. Did you see how he practically knocked Beyonce` over to run down the stairs to get the brush-off of his life from Brad and Angie? That's called YouTube GOLD, my friends. Good luck getting Bey to chat with you next time, a-hole.

Scarlett Johansson Bugs Me...

Scar-Ho on February's cover of Bazaar
My dream dress...

Scarlett Johansson is on my last nerve, and has been for a few years now. I'm sick of her walking around like she's the It Girl simply because dirty old men like Woody Allen drool over her. I don't care for the cover of Harper's Bazaar, but I love the inside photo--and I COVET that dress. Wow.

Donatella Versace Asks: "Who Wants BBQ Chicken Wings for Dinner?"

The lovely and appealing Donatella Versace

I could really go off on this chick...wait, she's no longer a "chick" and HASN'T been for a good 20 years. Remember? Her poor daughter, Allegra is anorexic and was supposedly receiving "medical help" for her dire condition. I hope her mother isn't the one "helping" her. Holy Lord. The photo above was taken during Donatella's holiday in St. Barts on Christmas Eve. I really do think there is such a thing as too tan, don't you? She looks completely slathered in Kraft honey-mustard barbeque sauce. That's good eatin' folks. And what's going on with her upper lip? I thought cocaine left a residue around one's nostrils. (Hey, it's JUST A RUMOR! Heh.)

Oh Great. Another Duggar Dork is Born.

The Dorkker Family

ROGERS, Ark. — An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child.
Michelle Duggar delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.
"The ultimate Christmas gift from God," said Jim Bob Duggar, the father of the 18 children. "She's just absolutely beautiful, like her mom and her sisters."

"Jim Bob Duggar is 43, a year older than his wife. Their oldest child, Joshua, is 20.
The other Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jordyn-Grace, are Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 17; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 12; Joy-Anna, 11; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 8; James, 7; Justin, 6; Jackson, 4; Johannah, 3; and Jennifer, 1.
"Our whole family is excited about Jordyn's addition to our family," Jim Bob Duggar said. "She's just perfect in every way." "

I'm so busy shaking my head (as in NO!) that I can hardly type. "Jinger" with a J ?? Oh man, I just caught that one. (I know that's trivial compared to the "THEY JUST HAD THEIR 18th KID" thing, but jeez--with a J.) How come she gets the stripper name and not the bible-y name? Obviously, I can't wrap my ever-lovin' brain about all this, since I'm obsessing over the name of kid #6.

Supposedly these dorks live on $5000 a month and are debt-free. Those are some mighty fine hand-me-downs they are passin' around. ANYway. I'm tryin' not to be too terribly mean. I actually feel sorry for the teenagers, especially. Do any of the girls even know who Zac Efron is? For that matter, do the boys know who (ugh) Miley Cyrus is? One of these kids, and it's probably gonna be JINGER, is going to HELLA rebel. I can't wait.

Paris Hilton's Present to Herself--A Pink Bentley

Gawwwwd, she's an idiot

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- A burglar broke into Paris Hilton's Sherman Oaks Hollywood Hills home on Friday morning, the LAPD confirmed to Access Hollywood.
According to the police, a man in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced entry through the front door of her house and proceeded to ransack her bedroom, making off with unknown properties.

The L.A. Times reported that $2 million in jewelry and other items were stolen from the home.

The celebutante was not home at the time and has been notified of the crime, Access has learned. Officers were called at around 5 AM by Paris' security with the report of a break-in.

The burglary came just a day after Paris debuted her new car, a pink Bentley.

Paris? Now just isn't the time to be showing off your stupid PINK, $200,000 custom BENTLEY, mmkay? You know the old saying: "Karma's a bitch, ain't she?"

Tom Cruise Says: "Oh, By Golly, Have a Holly, Nazi Christmas...This Year!"

SteeeeooopidTomCruise

They're kidding, right? A Nazi movie that isn't Schindler's List by a long stretch--opening Christmas Day?? Yeah, you know, come to think of it, we are all sitting around ordering pizza or Chinese food that day and are pretty bored. "Hey! I feel like seeing a movie about HITLER, how 'bout you?" God forgive me for saying that.

I realize we are at the height of "Oscar Season", but, WOW. Tom? Not in a million years will you be nominated for this movie wherein you were too lazy to adopt a German accent.

He's hitting Suri's Scientology barley juice again.

Oh, and if I DO decide to see a movie Christmas Day, it will be ...Benjamin Button and Brad Pitt probably will be nominated. So there.

Paris Hilton is a Big Fat Liar

Paris, this week.
Paris, last week (maybe)

I distinctly remember reading that Paris Hilton said she "loved her small boobs". I guess they are kinda like that boyfriend you "loved" then left for someone else because you "loved" THEM...more than ANYTHING.

I hope she dumps that orangey-red lipstick just as quickly and easily.