Lindsay's sister, Ali Lohan turns 16 today?

 "Doctor? Please make me look like a MILF!"

 

Nice. A boob job in Ali's early teens.

Ali Lohan, Lindsay's younger sister, turns 16 today. I know, right? I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ali looks like a 45 year old divorcee` who flirts with the junior high neighbor boys and works as a cocktail waitress at night (Tiger Woods, y'all) while her kids are "asleep". 

I'm still waiting for the porn version of Sister Act. What would VIVID call it, though? Little Sister Act?  Mommy Pushed Two Sisters to "Act"?  Sisters Acting like Pornstars?

Michael and Dina Lohan? You two are going to hell in a handbasket for not being decent parents.  Ya hear me talkin' to ya?

  

Woody Allen Supports Release of Roman Polanski. Oh, REALLY?

How appropriate.

Oh, Woody. Oh, Roman. You're both just misunderstood artists, aren't you?

Dear readers, we need to simply come to terms with the fact that some people in this world are given a pass. These special, sensitive and gifted men are to be admired, not punished for their past, um, "issues". Everything they do is art...that's what should be recognized. Yes?

How about NO? I cannot believe the fact that so many directors, actors and other industry types are coming to Roman Polanski's defense after being arrested in Switzerland on an outstanding U.S. warrant for child rape. Oh wait. Yes, I can.

In case you're not entirely familiar with the crime that was committed by Polanski back in 1977, here's a summary.

via The Smoking Gun, an excerpt of unsealed grand jury testimony of the initial against Polanski.

"Two weeks after Polanski plied her with Champagne and a Quaalude, Samantha Gailey appeared before an L.A. grand jury and recalled Polanski's predatory behavior in a Mulholland Canyon home owned by Jack Nicholson.

The teenager's troubling--and contemporaneous--account of her abuse at Polanski's hands begins with her posing twice for topless photos that the director said were for French Vogue. The girl then told prosecutors how Polanski directed her to, "Take off your underwear" and enter the Jacuzzi, where he photographed her naked. Soon, the director, who was then 43, joined her in the hot tub. He also wasn't wearing any clothes and, according to Gailey's testimony, wrapped his hands around the child's waist.

The girl testified that she left the Jacuzzi and entered a bedroom in Nicholson's home, where Polanski sat down beside her and kissed the teen, despite her demands that he "keep away." According to Gailey, Polanski then performed a sex act on her and later "started to have intercourse with me." At one point, according to Gailey's testimony, Polanski asked the 13-year-old if she was "on the pill," and "When did you last have your period?" Polanski then asked her, Gailey recalled, "Would you want me to go in through your back?" before he "put his penis in my butt." Asked why she did not more forcefully resist Polanski, the teenager told Deputy D.A. Roger Gunson, "Because I was afraid of him."

Roman Polanski drugged then sodomized a 13 year old little girl, ran away to France to live a life of luxury with parties and lovely homes and continued to work on his art--and win an Academy Award for Best Picture for The Pianist. He was arrested over the weekend in Switzerland at a film festival, where he was to receive a special honor.


Do you think Polanksi's "been punished enough"? These fellow "it's okay to rape a drugged-up 13 year old because she was asking for it and it was the '70s, man artists most certainly do think he has suffered more than enough, and have signed a petition to set Polanski free:

via The Guardian UK:


"... including Polanski's fellow directors Michael Mann, Wim Wenders, Pedro Almodóvar, Darren Aronofsky, Terry Gilliam, Julian Schnabel, the Dardenne brothers, Alejandro González Iñárritu, Wong Kar-Wai, Walter Salles and Jonathan Demme. Actors Tilda Swinton, Monica Bellucci and Asia Argento, as well as producer Harvey Weinstein have also put their names on the petition. Yesterday, Weinstein stated he was "calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation".

Awesome, huh? Or is it just me who's holding a grudge against this piece of shit?

Chicago Home Daycare Raided for Dogfighting Ring

The little white puppy seems to be thanking

Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart for saving his little life.

Be warned. This is yet another horrific discovery by Chicago authorities of a dogfighting ring--but this time, it was on the very same premises of an at-home daycare. Good God.

via The Chicago Tribune:

"Dart said 10 children were being watched at the house at the time of the raid. In a garage behind the house, police found "a very aggressive" pit bull, blood on the floor and along the sides of a car and medication, bite sticks and harnesses used in dogfights.

Investigators learned that many fighting dogs were housed nearby in the garage of a home in the 2000 block of South Sixth Avenue. That house was home to an ex-con who charged $60 a month for dogs to be kept there, authorities said.

Martez Anderson, 38, was cited Tuesday for being a felon in possession of an unneutered or unspayed dog, the sheriff's office said.

In the garage at Anderson's home, police found an 18-month-old pit bull and three 4-week-old puppies in a wire cage that was soaked in feces and urine, with no signs of food or water, Dart said. Police said they believe the puppies were already being used in fights, possibly as "bait dogs." "

The little white puppy the Sheriff Dart is holding is the one whose eye was gouged out while he was used as fight bait. 

"Dart said a swing set on which the children played was 10 feet from a garage where "a vicious fighting dog" was kept. The garage had bloodstained floors, Dart said.

"The very equipment used to train these dogs to kill was being kept in the garage right behind the house," Dart said.

As investigators searched Anderson's property, they noticed a dog with a shredded face through an opening in a next-door neighbor's fence, Dart said, leading police to a third site not originally targeted in the raid. There police found two dogs -- one with fresh fighting wounds and another puppy that was emaciated and had scarring.

The owner of that home consented to a search and, police said, they also found a treadmill in a dilapidated garage, which had been altered specifically to train dogs to fight.

All dogs rescued in the raid are being treated at the Animal Welfare League in Chicago Ridge and are expected to recover."

I feel sick. Sick for the children who were probably exposed to this kind of horrific violence; sick for the parents of the children, who undoubtedly never knew this was going on in the home they placed their children for daycare; and sick for the dogs themselves, who are innocent victims of abuse. This needs to stop.

I hate these stories...but I will continue to post them for awareness purposes.  

MacKenzie Phillips was molested by her Papa John **RE-POST**

I'm re-posting this blog I wrote back in July of this year. Mackenzie Phillips is appearing on Oprah tomorrow, and I felt it was worth another read. I've also added the commerical. Try to catch the repeat of the show at night if you miss it tomorrow afternoon.

Mackenzie said that she would do heroin with her asshole father all the time. In fact, John, who died in 2001, shot Mackenzie up with heroin for the first time. And on the night before her wedding to Jeff Sessler in 1979, her dad tried to stop her from marrying him.

Mackenzie writes, "I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too. Eventually I passed out on Dad's bed. My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs. I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. Had this happened before? I didn't know. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it. For a moment I was in my body, in that horrible truth, and then I slid back into a blackout."
 
I think I'm going to wretch. 
 

Color me completely not surprised about this revelation. We always knew Mackenzie Phillips has led a pretty effed-up life, and now throwing some childhood molestation by her father, John Phillips (from the Mamas and the Papas) everything just falls into place, doesn't it? It all makes a lot more sense now.

"I've always known I would write this book," Mackenzie says in press material obtained by The ENQUIRER about the as-yet untitled tell-all.

While the publisher, Simon Spotlight, has not publicly confirmed Mackenzie's molestation admission, it released a statement saying the troubled actress would reveal a "shocking, lifelong secret."

John Phillips died in 2001 - and Mackenzie is now finally healed enough to talk about the details of her painful childhood, says the insider.

"She'll reveal when the molestation first occurred, how long it lasted and how it affected her entire life."

Mackenzie, who has been married three times and has a 22-year-olds on, Shane, hit showbiz at age 12 in the 1973 movie American Graffiti. She went on to play rebellious teen Julie Cooper on the sitcom One Day at a Time. But problems with drugs and alcohol have plagued her for most of her life.

Her addictions led to the downward spiral of her career, arrests and many stints in rehab, as well as two near-fatal overdoses."

Damaged goods. That's the life-long label those of us who know how it feels to lose your childhood to the hands of a pervert. A dear friend of mine, who knows this dark shame as I do said to me,

"... no matter how much we move forward, we feel damaged, like something so special and deep inside us was broken and will never be repaired, that it CAN'T ever become whole again no matter how hard we try or who is there to support us."

We have good days and bad. Certain things are reminders. I probably won't read Mac's book. I don't need to.

I don't use what happened to me as an "excuse" for feeling damaged...it's the reason.

Serena Williams? I got your back on this one. Repeat after me: SEXIST MEDIA

Let me get this straight. Women are not allowed to lose their temper on the tennis court, but it's accepted and even thought of as "cute" or "fierce" when a MAN does it? Oh, HELL no. Serena Williams has been made the athlete poster girl of bad behavior due to her outburst on the court, and frankly, I'm not having it.


With all the talk about "is civility dead" going on right now, I refuse to lump Serena Williams in with Kanye West or Ron Wilson. Totally. Different. Situations. I did a little research on the of the coyly nicknamed "Bad Boys" of tennis. Read for yourself. 

via ESPN

Re: John McEnroe

"McEnroe played with a competitive fire and a fierce determination, traits that the public adores. But he also constantly argued and put down umpires and linesmen for what he perceived as bad calls.

"I know I can see the ball better than the officials," he said. "I can 'feel' when a ball is out or not. What's so frustrating is to know you're right and not be able to do anything about it."


and Re: Jimmy Connors

"While tennis fans enjoyed Connors' gritty style and his never-say-die attitude, they often were shocked by his antics. His sometimes vulgar on-court behavior -- like giving the finger to a linesman after disagreeing with a call -- did not help his approval rating. During the early part of his career, Connors frequently argued with umpires, linesmen, the players union, Davis Cup officials and other players."

Connors even called a line judged "an abortion" during one outburst. Jesus H. Nice one.

and via TIME Magazine :

"Jimmy was taught to be a tiger on the court," says his tigress mother. "When he was young, if I had a shot I could hit down his throat, I did. And I'd say, 'See, Jimmy, even your mother will do that to you.' "

Sigh. Serena lives in the internet and full-blown media era, whereas these "boys" only had instant replay. I don't believe they were totally mic'd the way athletes are today. I found an excerpt of Serena's apology. I guess women just can't get as passionate about their game as the "Bad Boys". How many of you out there (women) have lost your temper during a game of soccer, tennis or basketball? 

Serena has been nothing but an admirable role-model to young women throughout her  entire tennis career. NOW she has to apologize in a public way that the Boys didn't have to back in the day:


"Last night everyone could truly see the passion I have for my job. Now that I have had time to gain my composure, I can see that while I don't agree with the unfair line call, in the heat of battle I let my passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the situation poorly. I would like to thank my fans and supporters for understanding that I am human and I look forward to continuing the journey, both professionally and personally, with you all as I move forward and grow from this experience."

- Serena Williams 

I call bullshit. Sexism is alive and well in 2009.

Asshole Kanye turns into a whiney crybaby on Leno

Shut up, you big pussy.

Why didn't Leno have Taylor Swift on tonight instead? (I know, she'll be in New York instead for The View tomorrow. I'm sure Whoopi will be gracious and sympathetic toward her, but I am not sure about Sherri Shephard. She didn't have one negative word to say about Kanye's behavior, but she sure did about Joe Wilson's outburst last week during the President's speech to Congress. I'm just sayin'.)

ANYbitch. In typical man-bitch style, Kanye goes from bully to pussy in just a matter of hours. Effing crybaby.

Oh, and President Obama called Kanye a "jackass". I love it.

Kanye West was a goddamned asshole on the MTV VMAs. **VIDEO**

MTV Shows

That poor girl.

What the goddamned hell is wrong that asshole Kanye West? That asshole completely ruined Taylor Swift's moment while accepting her award for Best Female Video.


via the Examiner.com


"Taylor, I'm really happy for you. I'll let you finish," Kanye told an obviously stunned Taylor. "But Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time ... one of the best videos of all time!"


Taylor stood, mic and award in hand looking like she was going to cry, and who could blame her? Beyonce` looked stunned and not entirely thrilled. I have a feeling she would be the one apologizing to Taylor for that idiot's behavior later in the evening.



I swear to God. If he pulls the race card rant once again on this my head will fucking explode. WHEN will MTV prevent this dumbass from participating and ruining the VMAs? Taylor wasn't even allowed to finish her speech. Was it just too cringe-y for MTV to allow her to finish?? She tried--they effing CUT HER OFF.



Taylor Swift is just a young girl. Sometimes it shouldn't be about ratings.


Did I mention I hate Kanye West?

Goddamnit, Chris Brown. *Update on A-Hole Behavior*

"Raise yer hand if ya beat yer woman!"

You know, I always say, after being sentenced for beating your girlfriend bloody, the best thing to do is hit the hottest club in L.A.--Guys and Dolls.
I just feel that laying low, being introspective and even humble is a mistake. Don't you?

Oh. I guess it's just me and that a-hole Chris Brown.

What a GD dumbass.

**UPDATE**

It seems the dumbass, Chris Brown could very well be in violation of his GD probation by even setting foot in the club, Guys and Dolls last night. He may get off on a technicality (read: Because he's an effing CELEBRITY) due to this wording in the court documents:

"The probation report states that Brown must "abstain from the use of all alcoholic beverages and stay out of places where they are the chief item of sale."

Brown was seen drinking a "clear liquid", but was he seen EATING? Again, if this had been you or me? We'd be in jaaaail.

Chris Brown Received His Wrist-Slap Today.

Brown got probation and community service
for doing this.

I don't like the look on his face.

TMZ has done a cracker jack job (seriously) with their reporting of the whole Chris Brown circus in downtown L.A. today. I would just like to say that this is Celebrity Justice once again. May I just say that I know someone who was charged with a "minor in possession" (for an UNOPENED can of beer!) and received a very similar sentence. In fact, this person was facing some jail time. I call complete and utter bullshit on the special treatment Brown received for the brutal beating he gave Rihanna.

I'm not saying anything new, or anything I haven't said before. Here is the TMZ.com rundown of today's sentencing:

He must complete a 52 week domestic violence program sponsored by the Commonwealth Catholic Charities.

Brown must personally come to court every 3 months during his probation. The first appearance will be November 19.

Brown must perform 180 days of community labor. He must also pay $2,500 in restitution. He'll have to pay another $2,500 in probation expenses. He must also pay a $30 criminal conviction fee --BARGAIN! He must also pay $400 that goes into a domestic violence fund.

The judge issued a protective order. Brown is ordered not to harass, assault, threaten, molest, threaten, etc. Rihanna. He must surrender all firearms within 24 hours. He can't have any contact with Rihanna, even on the phone or through a 3rd person. He must stay 100 yards away from her, unless there's an entertainment-related event, in which he must stay 10 yards away. The protective order lasts 5 years.

Brown must get prior approval before leaving the country.

Brown jumped the gun and said he accepted the terms of probation, even before the judge finished her sentence

UPDATE: The judge just said she wanted to reiterate that she wanted him to do hard time ... like washing cars, grafitti removal, etc."

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0PFRuEqRI

******
"The court has released the officer's report from the night Chris Brown beat up Rihanna -- describing the entire incident in graphic detail.

According to the report, cops responded to a "screaming woman" -- and when they arrived, they noticed a "very upset and crying" Rihanna seated in the driver's seat of a parked vehicle.

Rihanna told the officer she got into an argument with Chris Brown over something that had occurred at an event they were at earlier in the evening.

"The victim said she became enraged and slammed both of her fists against the dashboard on the passenger side of the car they were in. She reported that the defendant then pulled the vehicle over and reached over her with his right hand. He opened the car door and tried to force the victim out."

According to the report, Brown was unable to shove Rihanna out of the car because she was wearing a seatbelt.

The report continues, "When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. "

"The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving."

"As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand."

Rihanna told cops the "assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the inside of the car."

Rihanna told cops after Brown "stopped his first assault .. she looked in the mirror and saw her eye beginning to swell.

[Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'"

Rihanna told police she tried to call her personal assistant, but she didn't pick up -- but Rihanna says she "pretended to talk, saying, 'I'm on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.'"

Rihanna says she pulled the act "because she did not want to get beat anymore."

But after Rihanna's fake phone conversation, she claims Brown "looked at [Rihanna] and said, "You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I'm really going to kill you!"

Rihanna told cops that Brown unleashed a second wave of punches, "during which time [Rihanna] interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face." He continued to punch her on her left arm, which caused a contusion on her left tricep.

At that point Rihanna tried texting her assistant. Brown threw the phone out of the car, stopped the vehicle and Rihanna then tried opening her door to get out, but Brown sped off and the door shut with Rihanna inside.

Brown placed Rihanna in a headlock while he drove, then bit her on her left ear. The car eventually stopped and Rihanna took the keys out of the ignition, and Brown began to punch her again in the face and arms. He placed her in a headlock and started applying pressure to her carotid artery. She couldn't breathe and began to lose consciousness. She tried freeing herself, and Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her.

Rihanna took off her shoe and tried breaking the passenger window, and he continued to punch her.

Eventually, Brown got out of the car. Rihanna opened the door and continued screaming. Brown began punching her again. He got back in the car and screamed "Where are my f***ing keys?" He got out, looked for the keys in vain, and when he could not find them removed several CDs and walked away.

Officers were called and observed numerous contusions and abrasions to Rihanna's face and forehead, as well as bruising on her left arm. There were other injuries as well.

Investigators determined Brown was wearing a large ring on his right hand which caused several of Rihanna's injuries."

Let me get this straight. Chris Brown beat the ever-lovin' shit out of his girlfriend, dumped her ass out of the car--then made sure to grab a couple of his favorite CDs out of the rented Lambo before fleeing the scene?

Awesome.

Perez Hilton is Wussy and Scaredy.

Wuss

The hateful and heartless, Perez Hilton

Good. I'm happy to hear that that wussy a-hole, Perez Hilton is all nervey and scaredy after his hateful remarks immediately following the news of Michael Jackson's passing. The website "The Gawker" has written a very funny, yet important blog about the idiot known as Perez Hilton:

Via The Gawker:

"Infamous gossip monger/dirtbag Perez Hilton has maybe had the worst week of his life. And it's beginning to show: Perez is blogging scared. Is this the end for him?

Perez (née Mario Lavandeira) got a literal slap upside the head by Will.I.Am's manager earlier this week, and a few figuratively slaps upside the head by celebrities who once willingly participated in his sadomasochistic, symbiotic celebrity-industrial complex for his poor handling of Michael Jackson's death. Because of both, Lavandeira's clearly shaken, and isn't doing too well.

The cracks in his mini-empire are beginning to show. Little of the trademark viciousness or salaciousness Perez typically attracts readers to his site with has been around lately..."

There is one particular celebrity blogger whom I find hilarious. It's Michael K. who writes "D-Listed". There isn't a day that goes by that I don't LITERALLY laugh out loud when reading this blog. I often wish I could be as funny and ridiculous as he is, but I can't compare our blogs. Mine goes from silly-mean in one post to personal and full of self-pity (or loathing, as the case may be), on the next blog. So, if you really want an alternative to that a-hole who's pictured above, please go to D-Listed. www.dlisted.com

In other words: BOYCOTT that hateful bitch's website.

Jon and Kate DIVORCING? Whaaaa???

Ick.

This announcement falls under the categories of:

1.) DUURRRR!! and

2.) Milking their 15 minutes (or a couple of seasons on the teevee)...and hoping to make it another 30 minutes or so. Bleh.

via Jivid:

"After months of speculation, the 10-year marraige of Jon & Kate Plus Eight's stars Kate and Jon Gosselin appears to be coming to an end.

Documents to initiate a legal split were filed at the Bucks County Courthouse in Reading, Pa., Monday afternoon.

Fans who have watched the couple's popular TLC show – or read the voluminous coverage of the Gosselin marriage in the press – will hardly be surprised: The duo had long maintained a tense relationship, with Jon recently telling PEOPLE he wanted a less high-profile life, while Kate appeared to remain committed to their TV career.

In February, photos surfaced of Jon in the company of young women during a solo visit to see his mother, who was recuperating from surgery, in Huntingdon, Pa. The couple quickly attempted to quash rumors of problems. But in May, the scandal erupted again when 23-year-old Deanna Hummel was photographed driving Jon's car home from a bar late at night.

When the fifth season of the Gosselins' show premiered May 25, the couple admitted to having problems and not knowing where their relationship was headed. "Parents of multiples have triple the divorce rate," Kate said through tears. "I was thinking we were going to beat that. I don't know if I can say that anymore."

TLC promotions of the show are promising a major announcement about the family in Monday night's episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight."

So now what? Are they splitting the show in two? Or ten? These poor eight little kids have been subjected to so much crap, they are gonna need years of therapy.

I hope this is a lesson to anyone who wants to "share their story" on a reality show. It's not about sharing anything, other than misery and emotional abuse of these kids. A little money and celebrity certainly screwed this family up royally.

Ugh. I'm sick of Kate and her haircut and bitchiness and Jon and his burgeoning mid-life crisis, earrings and apartment hunting. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Morgan Freeman is starring in "Driving Miss Underage Relative"

I feel sick just reading about this crap.
I

This disgusting story caused me to have to throw away the contact lenses I put in this morning. I think I'll just wear my glasses until I'm done soaking my actual eyeballs in Lemon-Scented PineSol. Jesus H. this is some nasty shit.

Morgan Freeman has ALLEGEDLY (ahem and eyeroll) been having sex with his step-granddaughter. I think this falls into the sub-category of molestation called "Woody-Soon Yi Sydrome".

The Enquirer is reporting:

Morgan Freeman has been having a nearly decade-long affair with his step-granddaughter - a scandalous charge that has emerged in the bitter divorce battle between the acclaimed actor and his wife Myrna, says a source.

The relationship between the 72-year-old actor with step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines, 27, began when she was a teen, the source told The ENQUIRER exclusively. The alleged affair not only contributed to his split from Myrna, his wife of 25 years, it also led to his breakup with his longtime mistress, former schoolteacher Mary Joyce

A source tells the Enquirer that E'Dena is the granddaughter of Morgan's first wife Jeanette. Morgan and his second wife Myrna raised E'Dena ever since she was a little girl. The affair reportedly started when E'Dena was a teenager. The source went on to say, "Myrna said E'dena told her that when she was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend's house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse. E'Dena explained to Myrna that she stopped Morgan from going any further."

Again, I know it's The Enquirer reporting this--but more often than not, their "shocking stories" end up being true.

All together now: N A S T.

Today's Blind Item!!

"Which aging actress has stayed away from the spotlight of late because she tried to inject her own lips with vegetable oil during a drunken night?" [BlindGossip]

What a NUT. There are so many puffy-lipped aging actresses, I don't know where to begin! Melanie Griffith? Faye Dunaway? Just how drunk do you have to be to shoot Crisco oil into your own lips?

David Carradine's Family Wants FBI to Investigate?

An FBI investigation? Really?

A dear friend of mine who comments here on DiC often feels this dead horse of a story has thoroughly been beaten. Okay, it's Annette, and those were my snide remarks--but she's right. So NOW, it's being reported that David Carradine's family has hired money-grubbing attorney Mark Geragos and are trying to get the FBI to investigate the death.

E! Online is reporting:

Carradine's family and friends have vehemently refuted the initial Thai police theory that the actor committed suicide, continuing to believe that foul play may have been involved. Now they have made a formal request for FBI assistance.

"They want an investigation. I would think that the people in Bangkok would want to support an investigation and allow the FBI to go over there and assist in the investigation so we can get the answers to the questions," attorney Mark Geragos, who represents Carradine's brother, Keith Carradine, said on Larry King Live.

According to FBI spokeswoman, Laura Eimiller, the agency only gets involved in death investigations overseas if a crime is suspected. In the case of Carradine, that has yet to be determined.

Geragos added that the family hired forensic pathologist to conduct the followup autopsy, which will seek to determine whether a second party was involved in the death. Thai police claim that surveillance footage showed no one entering Carradine's hotel room prior to his death and he was apparently the only one who used a keycard to access the room.

The lawyer has also expressed outrage over a photo of Carradine's hanging body that was printed in a Thai tabloid. (Nast. I'd sure be checking into what little bitch sold that image. Ugh. I bet it's all over the Internet--I'm not gonna search for it, are YOU?) He has vowed to pursue legal action against any U.S. publication that uses the image.

The 72-year-old's body was found Thursday morning, hanging in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room with ropes around his neck and genitals, police revealed Friday, suggesting that he may have accidentally died while performing autoerotic asphyxiation.

Apparently, we're not finished with the story, yet. Stay tuned for more disgusting details during the next few weeks. You can count on me.

I need to bathe in boiling bleach now.

Chris Brown Insists He "Ain't a Monster". Really??

Guess what, Chris? You ARE a monster. I can think of many more names to call you. Don't you just love the way he shrugs off all responsibility by calling his critics "haters". That's right, Chris. It was a crowd of "haters" who choked and beat the shit out of your girlfriend, Rihanna.

What a dumbass thug.

Today's Blind Item: Domestic Violence Edition. Ugh.

CDaN:
1 & #2 - This C list almost exclusively movie actress who has been in some important movies thought she had found true love. It sounds like true terror. In what should be her coming out party for her first real big lead role, she instead has to deal with her new B list writer/director boyfriend who loves nothing more than hitting her. Very careful not to leave a mark on her face, she nevertheless was almost in tears on the red carpet from the pain he inflicted on her the night before her big premiere this week. Despite this, she still held his hand as they walked the red carpet. Sick I know.

This COMPLETELY falls under the category of "Just Tellin' Ya What I Heard", but it's all over the internets that it's these two:

Actress Alison Lohman and director Mark Neveldine attend the premiere of the film "Drag Me To Hell" on May 12, 2009 at the Mann's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images)

The ORIGINAL "Hot for Teacher"--Seattle Style

Mary Kay Letourneau with husband Vili Fualaau

I seriously thought this was a JOKE, ya'll. Then I saw it on the TMZ. Oh. My. God. Here's Seattle's favorite teacher and her boyfriend since he was in 6th grade--of course, they've been Married With Children for a few years after she spent her time in the pokey.

According to TMZ:

"...As an added bonus, Vili Fualaau -- the kid Letourneau was convicted of raping and later married -- will be spinning records at Fuel Sports Eats & Beats under the name DJ Headline.We're told it was all Vili's idea -- the whole "Hot for Teacher" part -- and that Mary Kay will be roaming the party signing autographs and meeting guests."

No. I'm not going.

Cover Your Eyes! It's Michael Jackson. You've Been WARNED. **UPDATE** U.K. Concerts "Postponed"--AKA "Big Surprise".

Oh Dear Jesus. Help Us.
Remember when we thought this
was a little different?

Oh how I love the the before and afters...I thought I'd switch it up and reverse it this time. You screamed, didn't you??

ANYpreditor. Sounds like MJ is feeling better. Good enough to rehearse for his so-called come-back tour in the U.K. I'll believe it when I see it, how 'bout you?

"He's as healthy as he can be -- no health problems whatsoever," the executive told CNN.

Phillips said he asked Jackson point-blank about the skin cancer rumor yesterday, and the entertainer just brushed it off and laughed.

"He's used to rumors like this. He's been famous ever since he was 5. He doesn't read the newspapers or watch news reports," Phillips explained.

He also had an answer for an item in the British tabloid The Sun that said Jackson had been "making regular trips to a dermatologist in Beverly Hills wearing a mask and surgical cap."

"Michael is very close friends with his dermatologist. It's as simple as that," said Phillips.

According to Phillips, the 50-year-old pop star had passed a stringent physical exam before he and AEG inked their deal for Jackson to headline a 50-show residency at 02 beginning July 8. "And he'll have to take another before the shows start," he offered.

Creep Eeee.

Ummm...I believe I called this yesterday. Check this crap out:

"Dear Customers:

...We are writing to let you know that the 10th July concert that you purchased tickets for at the O2 arena has now been rescheduled for 1st March 2010...We understand the inconvenience this may have caused and for this reason we have secured some excellent hotel deals for Michael Jackson fans travelling to London on these rescheduled dates

8th July will take place on 13th July 2009

10th July will be moved to 1st March 2010

12th July will be moved to 3rd March 2010

14th July will be moved to 6th March 2010

...Thank you for your understanding. Michael, who is directly involved with all aspects of the styling/choreography/band selection and rehearsals, is working around the clock to ensure this is the show to end all shows! We look forward to seeing you on 1st March 2010."

March of 2010??? Way to eff over your weirdo fans from other countries, dude.

"I'm Not Dead YET!"

Patrick-I'm-Not-Dead-Yet-Swayze
Farrah-Still-Fighting-Fawcett

I want to address the fascination with the "deathwatches" this society (thanks to the media?) has over Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett and to some extent Elizabeth Edwards.

I did not watch the TV show last week about Farrah and her fight with anal cancer. I don't know how I feel about Ryan O'Neal seemingly exploiting Farrah. It all seemed like it was going to be so voyeuristic and almost instrusive that I just couldn't bring myself to watch. From what I heard and read, it was indeed just that.

Today, the Twitterworld was bombarded with reports of Patrick Swayze's death. Ummm...HE'S NOT DEAD. Can you imagine being a family member of Patrick's and hearing this crap? Good Lord.

Entertainment Weekly reports:

Despite rumors spreading rapidly this morning, actor Patrick Swayze has not died. "This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away this morning contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida," his publicist said in a statement. "Swayze is alive, well and is enjoying his life and he continues to respond to treatment."

I'm not enjoying all this lead-up to a celebrity's demise. I was hoping the U.S. wouldn't follow the U.K.'s ugly tabloid example of the minute by minute updates-of-ultimate demise, as they did with pseudo-celebrity Jade Goody.

It's just gross and so disrespectful.

Who the goddamnedhell does Kate Gosselin think she IS?

"Horrified", my ass.

People Magazine is reporting that the Gosselin marriage is more troubled that originally thought:

"Two weeks after stories linked her husband, Jon Gosselin, with a 23-year-old school teacher, Kate says she is now the target of tabloid lies. "The next story coming out from the animals that stalk us is about our security person and his family," Kate tells PEOPLE exclusively. "Already the allegations they're making about me are disgusting, unthinkable, unfathomable, and I am horrified."

RadarOnline.com is reporting:

"The marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin is "over", Kate's brother Kevin Kreider and his wife Jodi say in an explosive new video interview, only on RadarOnline.com.

On the stunning video, Kevin Krieder, 32, says "Six months ago Kate came to Jon and said, 'Hey, it's over.'"

As RadarOnline.com recently reported, Jon has been having an extramarital affair with a third grade school teacher, Deanna Hummell.

Kate is rumored to be cheating with her bodyguard Steve Neild.
Both Jon and Kate have denied having affairs. Kate's bodyguard and Deanna Hummell have also denied the affairs.

Kevin's wife Jodi says everyone ignored the problems in the marriage to keep the show's ratings high. She says: "The show is not reality, and has not been for a long time. This is a train wreck."

Kevin adds: "Their family is in shambles."

Jodi and Kevin gave their only print interview to Star magazine, and in a cover story this week, they say the marriage is now governed by a secret contract. They reveal details of that contract in Star's interview.

Kevin says both Jon and Kate need to give up the fame and fortune in order to save their marriage while Jodi says a divorce would affect the children terribly.

In the Star magazine interview, she explains how she believes Kate is exploiting the kids and how badly it's affecting them.

Kreider says his sister Kate wants to be a talk show host, and she really is starting to believe her own press."

WHEN will people learn that a reality show is the worst possible thing to happen to relationships? No one is immune to the horrors of public intrusion like what is happening to this family. Kate's a screech, Jon's a puss; add some cameras, money, bodyguards, teeth whitening and hairplugs/ugly haircuts and they've got one hot mess on their hands.

What about the PLUS EIGHT??? The money and all the trappings simply are not enough to protect these poor kids. Jon and Kate sold their souls to the Devil of Celebrity...but guess who will really pay the price?