Jaaayzus. Stinkfoot Suri is wearing BOOTS with a sleeveless dress...in NYC!

Isabella Cruise, her spoiled little sister, and The Step Mother, Katie

For Pete's sake. Earlier in the week, Stinkfoot Suri donned appropriate outerwear--FOR ONCE, but with bare legs and high heels. Now here she is, in a sleeveless frock, wearing Kermit-Green rubber boots (and matching handbag?) with no coat. I KNOW I'm beating the dead Cruise Horse.  Y'all should be used to it by now? WHERE is her GD coat???? Oh, and they are shopping in New York City, where the temperature is hovering around 45 degrees.

And why isn't CPS involved?

Woody Allen Supports Release of Roman Polanski. Oh, REALLY?

How appropriate.

Oh, Woody. Oh, Roman. You're both just misunderstood artists, aren't you?

Dear readers, we need to simply come to terms with the fact that some people in this world are given a pass. These special, sensitive and gifted men are to be admired, not punished for their past, um, "issues". Everything they do is art...that's what should be recognized. Yes?

How about NO? I cannot believe the fact that so many directors, actors and other industry types are coming to Roman Polanski's defense after being arrested in Switzerland on an outstanding U.S. warrant for child rape. Oh wait. Yes, I can.

In case you're not entirely familiar with the crime that was committed by Polanski back in 1977, here's a summary.

via The Smoking Gun, an excerpt of unsealed grand jury testimony of the initial against Polanski.

"Two weeks after Polanski plied her with Champagne and a Quaalude, Samantha Gailey appeared before an L.A. grand jury and recalled Polanski's predatory behavior in a Mulholland Canyon home owned by Jack Nicholson.

The teenager's troubling--and contemporaneous--account of her abuse at Polanski's hands begins with her posing twice for topless photos that the director said were for French Vogue. The girl then told prosecutors how Polanski directed her to, "Take off your underwear" and enter the Jacuzzi, where he photographed her naked. Soon, the director, who was then 43, joined her in the hot tub. He also wasn't wearing any clothes and, according to Gailey's testimony, wrapped his hands around the child's waist.

The girl testified that she left the Jacuzzi and entered a bedroom in Nicholson's home, where Polanski sat down beside her and kissed the teen, despite her demands that he "keep away." According to Gailey, Polanski then performed a sex act on her and later "started to have intercourse with me." At one point, according to Gailey's testimony, Polanski asked the 13-year-old if she was "on the pill," and "When did you last have your period?" Polanski then asked her, Gailey recalled, "Would you want me to go in through your back?" before he "put his penis in my butt." Asked why she did not more forcefully resist Polanski, the teenager told Deputy D.A. Roger Gunson, "Because I was afraid of him."

Roman Polanski drugged then sodomized a 13 year old little girl, ran away to France to live a life of luxury with parties and lovely homes and continued to work on his art--and win an Academy Award for Best Picture for The Pianist. He was arrested over the weekend in Switzerland at a film festival, where he was to receive a special honor.


Do you think Polanksi's "been punished enough"? These fellow "it's okay to rape a drugged-up 13 year old because she was asking for it and it was the '70s, man artists most certainly do think he has suffered more than enough, and have signed a petition to set Polanski free:

via The Guardian UK:


"... including Polanski's fellow directors Michael Mann, Wim Wenders, Pedro Almodóvar, Darren Aronofsky, Terry Gilliam, Julian Schnabel, the Dardenne brothers, Alejandro González Iñárritu, Wong Kar-Wai, Walter Salles and Jonathan Demme. Actors Tilda Swinton, Monica Bellucci and Asia Argento, as well as producer Harvey Weinstein have also put their names on the petition. Yesterday, Weinstein stated he was "calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation".

Awesome, huh? Or is it just me who's holding a grudge against this piece of shit?

Separated at Birth!

 

The Divine Miss M and Secretariat Jessica Parker

I don't know whom I feel sorrier for...Bette or Horsey.

Thanks, Annette! Love it...and YOU! 

Sex and the City 2 filming started in NYC

EEEK! Holy 80's flashback.

Wasn't 90210's AnnaLynne McCord available
as a body/face double?
She can borrow Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose!

Maybe I'm not as excited as most chicks about the filming of Sex and the City 2, I don't know. But I tell ya what. There is NO effing way I'm gonna believe Secretariat Jessica Parker as an 18-year old ingenue finding her way in The Big Apple. No. Effing. Way.

The good news is Chris Noth ("Big") is back, and there's the possibility that Victoria Beckham may do a cameo.

Seriously, though. Is it just me about SJP not being able to pull off being 25 years younger? I hope there's plenty of vaseline for that lens.

AGAIN? Robin Wright-Penn and Sean Penn need to sh&t or get off the pot already!

"Hey, sup? Ya holdin'?"
Oh, Sean.

OhforpitySAKE. Just DO it already. GAAAH.

Here we go again, ya'll. People Magazine is reporting that Robin Wright-Penn filed for divorce against her (butthole) husband, Sean Penn ONCE AGAIN.

"Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from her husband Sean Penn, PEOPLE has learned.

The papers, filed in Marin County, Calif., on Aug. 12, state that "both parties have already agreed to [shared] custody" over their minor son, Hopper Jack, 16, and that "the estranged couple have already agreed to division of all property."

The reason for the split is listed as "irreconcilable differences." Wright Penn, best known for roles in "The Princess Bride" and "Forrest Gump," is not seeking spousal support."

Read between the lines, people. We all know that Sean slithered away (possibly for rehab for cocaine abuse), and backed out of the "Three Stooges" film, using the excuse of "getting his family back in order", or something like that. I don't think it "took".

I guess now he'll be able to openly snort coke with a certain orange-y, practically un-hireable young-but-really-old looking "starlet". But you didn't hear that from ME.

New "Dancing With the Stars" Line-up Revealed

GAAAAH! Kelly Osborne

Kathy Ireland with her K-Mart lamps

Dallas Cowboy, Michael Irvin - SURPRISE!

Mya

Donny Osmond - SNORT!

Actress, Debi Mazar

Macy (Drunky von Retardstein) Gray

Iron Chef's, Mark Dacascos

"BATTLE BUNIONS!"

Here we go, ya'll...it's time for "Dancing With the Don't-You-Know-Who-I-Used-to-BE?" line-up. I don't think I watched more than two episodes last season. Who even won? That's just how involved I am with this show now.

Sigh. Here's the list of has-beens/athletes. (OH--I just remembered...that "little person" from the Olympics won, right?)

- Former Sabrina The Teenage Witch actress Melissa Joan Hart (I remember her from "Clarissa Explains it All" on Nickelodeon, not "Sabrina".)
- Rock royalty Kelly Osbourne EEEEEK!! F-Bomb alert!!
- Recovering (?) addict Aaron Carter
- Singer Mya from "Chicago"
- Ultimate Fighting Champion Chuck Liddell
- Professional snowboarder Louie Vito
- Former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin
- Six-time gold medalist for swimming Natalie Coughlin
- Actress Debi Mazar (Love her.)
- Iron Chef Dude Mark Dacascos
- Swimsuit model Joanna Krupa (who?)
- The son of George Hamilton and Alana Stewart, Ashley Hamilton (Shannen Doherty's ex, remember?)
- Donny Osmond (Ugh, wasn't she already ON? Oh.)
- Tom DeLay (I'm at a loss for this one.)
- Former supermodel and K-Mart enthusiast Kathy Ireland
- Former singer Macy Gray (Big, Drunk Retard!)

I just cannot get enthused about this crap.

Brad Pitt, Looking NORMAL on the Cover of WIRED

Bradley Pitt, age 45

Here's the thing about Hollywood dudes: It's all just "awesome" when they make funny faces, have a little gray goin' on, obvious sun damage to their skin, and (gasp!) wrinkles. Oh, believe me, I know I'm stating the obvious about the total double standard for men and women in Hollywood. Can you imagine, oh I don't know, ANY of today's actresses "of a certain age" doing a cover like this? First of all, the foreheads and eyebrows would be unable to achieve Brad's smart-ass look. Hey. I just though of something. Maybe some of the women actually HAVE shot covers like this--but we just couldn't tell!!

**COUGHbotoxCOUGH**

Ahem. What are YOU lookin' at??

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's Twins are Here!

"Yeeeee--aaaah! We're over the mooooon!"

SJP and Matty's new twin girls!

Oh MY! The Old Grey Mare's surrogate mother gave birth to twin fillies, Buttermilk and Wildfire. ("...she ran callin' Willlllldfire")!

"The pair are at the East Ohio Regional (farm!) Hospital in Martins Ferry where the surrogate gave birth."

Rumor has it that since Gwennie Paltrow is decorating Mercy's new bedroom for Madonna, she's offered her services to completely overhaul SJP and Matty's NYC apartment to accommodate a stable for two.

I can't WAIT to see the photos of the twins in "Equine Weekly"!!

Carradine's second autopsy report proves "auto-erotic asphyxiation" as cause of death--just as surprising as hearing Adam Lambert is gay.

Durrrr. Ya think??

Via OK!uk.com

"Initial results of an autopsy performed on late actor DAVID CARRADINE suggest the late actor died of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

The Kill Bill star, 72, was found dead, hanging in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room on Thursday (04Jun09).

Some local reports suggested he committed suicide, while Thai police believe he died accidentally as he took part in a dangerous sex game involving auto-erotic asphyxiation - where victims achieve heightened sexual pleasure by restricting their air supply.

The actor's family requested officers from America's Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) get involved in the case last week (ends05Jun09), urging U.S. authorities to assist the local police investigation to prove the star had no intention of killing himself.

And forensic specialist Dr. Michael Baden, who was hired by the actor's family to examine Carradine's body in his native America, appears to have found evidence backing up the Thai police findings, reports the New York Post.

An initial autopsy report carried out by Thai coroners reveals Carradine died from a sudden lack of oxygen; while his body showed no signs of struggle."

Great. NOW can we stop beating, tying up, gagging, and dressing this dead horse in a full-body fishnet stocking? Oh yeah. I said it.

David Carradine's Family Wants FBI to Investigate?

An FBI investigation? Really?

A dear friend of mine who comments here on DiC often feels this dead horse of a story has thoroughly been beaten. Okay, it's Annette, and those were my snide remarks--but she's right. So NOW, it's being reported that David Carradine's family has hired money-grubbing attorney Mark Geragos and are trying to get the FBI to investigate the death.

E! Online is reporting:

Carradine's family and friends have vehemently refuted the initial Thai police theory that the actor committed suicide, continuing to believe that foul play may have been involved. Now they have made a formal request for FBI assistance.

"They want an investigation. I would think that the people in Bangkok would want to support an investigation and allow the FBI to go over there and assist in the investigation so we can get the answers to the questions," attorney Mark Geragos, who represents Carradine's brother, Keith Carradine, said on Larry King Live.

According to FBI spokeswoman, Laura Eimiller, the agency only gets involved in death investigations overseas if a crime is suspected. In the case of Carradine, that has yet to be determined.

Geragos added that the family hired forensic pathologist to conduct the followup autopsy, which will seek to determine whether a second party was involved in the death. Thai police claim that surveillance footage showed no one entering Carradine's hotel room prior to his death and he was apparently the only one who used a keycard to access the room.

The lawyer has also expressed outrage over a photo of Carradine's hanging body that was printed in a Thai tabloid. (Nast. I'd sure be checking into what little bitch sold that image. Ugh. I bet it's all over the Internet--I'm not gonna search for it, are YOU?) He has vowed to pursue legal action against any U.S. publication that uses the image.

The 72-year-old's body was found Thursday morning, hanging in the closet of his Bangkok hotel room with ropes around his neck and genitals, police revealed Friday, suggesting that he may have accidentally died while performing autoerotic asphyxiation.

Apparently, we're not finished with the story, yet. Stay tuned for more disgusting details during the next few weeks. You can count on me.

I need to bathe in boiling bleach now.

Oh, Katie Holmes. (And Stinkfoot...)

WHO is this again??

Why is a 12-year old scruffy boy
carrying Stinkfoot around?

Because that's how CrazyAssTomCruise likes his "women", know'msayin'? There are so many things wrong with the second picture, I just don't even know where on earth to begin.

1.) The knee-length, baggy jeans shorts.

2.) The scraggly-ness of BOTH of these females. What the GDH?? I remember when I was in high school and my hair was growing out from a gawd-awful perm and THIS is what it looked like. I was embarrassed to show my head in public--and I was 16. I went to high school in Southern California; a gorgeous school a couple of blocks from the beach. I mention this to indicate just how MUCH I didn't fit in with all of the perfectly tanned, beautiful, blonde and athletic chicks. I was scrawny, brunette and never, EVER had a date.

My POINT is: Katie Holmes is turning into that very kind of dork...but I think she's being forced into it by that freak she's married to--just look at that tremendous photo of her pre-Cruisey-Scientology. NOT. THE. SAME. PERSON.

3.) STINKFOOT IS BAREFOOT. The toes might be a little bit aired out, but you just know they are still rancid.

I'd love to hear what you guys think. My hair is on fire over the demise of Katie's spirit, and perhaps her will to live.

Someone. Anyone. Help Katie.

The Filly Wins the Preakness!

Guess what? It's FUNNY. EVERY. TIME.

Seriously, though. A little filly named Rachel Alexandra won the Preakness over the weekend.

The Bloomberg Report:

Rachel Alexandra, the 2-to-1 pre-race favorite, beat Mine That Bird, ridden by Hall of Fame jockey Mike Smith, by a length. Trainer Steve Ausmussen said there was initial concern about the only female horse in the field when she broke from the starting gate a little to the right.
The filly’s win was the first at the Preakness since Nellie Morse’s victory 85 years ago. Jockey Calvin Borel, who two weeks ago rode Mine That Bird to victory in the Derby, rode Rachel Alexandra.

I will continue to beat the Sarah Jessica Parker horseface joke for-effing-ever.

Rachel Alexandra’s winning time was 1 minute, 44.08 seconds. She was the first horse to win the Preakness from the No. 13 post position and took $660,000 from the $1.1 million purse.

Keira Knightley Doth Protest Too Much

What's worse than a Lollipop Head?

An effing PEZ Head.

There's a myth going around that bulimics are not skinny. I lived with them at Paloma Picasso (aka Casa Palmera; Patrick prefers the other name, so I use it). Now granted, bulimics cannot barf up all of the calories they consume, so either Keira's a BIG FAT LIAR, or she's a BIG FAT LIAR, one of the two. In my "professional" opinion (ahem), I believe Keira is both an anorexic and bulimic. Here she is, over-justifying her eating habits:

"Keira Knightley loves eating chips.

The slender actress says enjoying big meals is one of her favourite pastimes, particularly if they feature fattening French Fries or pasta.
She admitted: “I’m a big foodie. In my family life, all good things revolve around the dinner table. My mum’s cooking is great. We have big dinners, and big everything. There’s nothing like a really good chip, a really crunchy, good chip. And I love pasta. I make Bolognese with tons and tons of Parmesan cheese.”

Despite enjoying cooking, Keira admits her kitchen disasters have occasionally reduced her to tears.

She told Australia’s Marie Claire magazine: “The other night, a friend was teaching me how to make an eggplant bake. I brought it out of the oven in this beautiful bowl - and dropped it. It smashed all over the kitchen, and I burst into tears.”

“But 10 minutes later we were laughing about it. I mean, if I were Nigella Lawson, I would have licked it off the floor very seductively as opposed to bursting into tears.”

I found a website called backinskinnyjeans.com (odd name?), and this is what they had to say about bulimia:

"Bulimics can hide their issue better than anorexics or binge eaters because nothing looks obviously wrong in your body, so people never or can't suspect. But the thing is that bulimia doesn't always work the way you think it will. You can get bloated.

You can't always get ALL the calories out. You lose track of what you ate and what you purged because you've done it so many times on one day.

Towards the end of the day you're tired, you can't think straight, your jaw and throat ache. You might even be worried that you tore your esophagus because you thrust your fingers or toothbrush too hard down your throat that day. Your teeth are starting to get brittle, and your stomach aches like someone has a vice grip on it because you took one too many laxatives this time. It's an ugly and shameful reality of yours. No one knows. At least that is what you believe. "

Keira is going to ruin herself physically and emotionally with this kind of thought process and behavior. Believe me, I know.

Now? It's lunchtime.

Mel Gibson is Going to Lose His Shirt for Losing His Pants

Typical dumbass

This kind of story is so stale: Aging dude, successful career, tons of kids with a lovely wife whom he been married to forEVER, cheats (add getting a DUI, spews anti-Semitic slurs, calls a cop Sugar Tits, makes a movie about Jesus...) and now the other woman is pregnant. Awesome. I already blabbed about this crap last week. The pregnancy is just the icing on the cake. Mel Gibson's wife Robyn is gonna kick his ass in oh, so many ways. About $45 million in cash and prizes, to be exact.

Bono? This is what I'm referring to in the post below. (Because I know he reads my blog! Heh.) You better straighten up and fly right, because I predict THIS WILL BE YOU soon enough. We're all watching and waiting, my friend.

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are Finally Divorcing?

Sarah Jessica Parker preparing for the Kentucky Derby
Matthew Broderick and son (?) James Wilkie
NOT walking to the barbershop.

Oh, I predicted this months ago. Rumors of Matthew's cheating on SJP with a "redhead" (Aiken, anyone?) fueled all the chatter of an impending divorce. Well, I think after watching Sarah Jessica run the Illinois Derby on TV last Saturday--which is a prep for the BIG race, the Kentucky Derby, she's obviously spending too much time training at the track. That's what she refers to as "rehearsals", people...FYI. It will cause a rift in a marriage every time.

Chris Brown to Apologize to Rihanna on Oprah?

"Gurrrrl...he WILL hit you again."

Honestly? I think this story is a load of crap. Can you even imagine Oprah pulling a stunt like making StupidChrisBrown come on her show and "apologize" to Rihanna? Come ON. Nevertheirregardless (thank you, David Sedaris for that word), I thought I'd pass this on to ya'll:

"Sources tell Look Magazine that Oprah Winfrey and Rihanna have been secretly talking after she told the R&B star not to reconcile with Chris Brown on her daily show.

She is rumored to have asked Chris Brown to not only pay a visit to Oprah but apologize to her on the show.

Sources tell the publication,

“Rihanna has been talking to Oprah Winfrey on a regular basis since late February, when Oprah begged her not to take Chris back. She’s been having second thoughts about them being back together. Agreeing to go on Oprah’s show and tell the world how sorry he is will help make up her mind”.

As IF.

I'm Telling! Lindsay's in Trouble! WARRANT FOR ARREST

Drunkgirl is on the lam!

I don't think the L.A. Police Department understands the situation at hand. Lindsay Lohan is ENTITLED. She doesn't have to follow the rules. She doesn't have to do her community service. She doesn't have to pay her fines or attend drunk driving classes (she could TEACH them, though). GOD. Don't these authorities GET it?? She's The Special One. Sigh. Here's what the po-po is saying about poor little Lindsay:

"An arrest warrant was reportedly issued by the Beverly Hills Police Department in connection with her 2007 DUI arrest, for which she is still on probation.

Specific details of why the arrest was issued are not known yet - but some reports claim it is due to a probation violation (failing a drug test or not attending alcohol education classes, etc, etc).

The arrest warrant has reportedly been issued for $50,000."

Then Lindsay posted her statement:

"This warrant for my arrest is completely fabricated and its a horrendous lie. This will make me loose [sic] every single deal that I have right now. Its horrible."

"Every single deal"? Like tagging along with Sam to her drunk, coked-out and starving DJ-ing gigs? Don't these people realize Linds has a LIFE to lead, and all this so-called "legal" shit gets in the way. People can be so cruel.

Oh. So the cops are now saying that Lindsay's pants are on fire:

"In response to media inquiries, [the] Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan. The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."

Honestly. Shouldn't they be watching a certain young R&B dude instead of our sweet freckle-faced little girl? Actually? No. They need to GET ON this shit. Like NOW.

Psssh. I'm still waiting for the L.A. Police Department and Prosecutor's Office to start a back-lash of the wrist-slapping celebrities get for breaking laws, i.e. theft (see Winona Ryder), DUI (Our Girl Lindsay, Heather Locklear, Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Mischa Barton, Kloe Kardashian, Gary Collins) domestic violence (see CHRIS BROWN, CHRIS BROWN and CHRIS BROWN), oh, and that minor murder thing (see O.J fucking Simpson, Robert Blake and Phil Spector). God. The average person's life gets effed UP with minor infractions because they can't afford Mark Gerogos as their attorney. These assholes get off with 14 minutes jail time at the MOST.

Class dismissed.

The Reviews are IN...Britney in New Orleans!

YAY?

"...you say I'm crazy--I got your crazy."

The Sun has the first review of Britney's comeback in New Orleans tonight...

"BRITNEY SPEARS returned to touring duty for the first time in five years with an X-rated, bondage-heavy show. The star blew the lid off the New Orleans Arena with her adult-only antics. Male dancers sported kinky, leather outfits and masks while the Louisiana native wore some of the most revealing outfits of her career, including sheer body-suits, which left very little to the imagination.

In fact, she made support act the PUSSYCAT DOLLS look like a group of nuns. KYLIE MINOGUE's tour director produced the show, which was split into four acts. Taking her cue from some of MADONNA's more risque antics, it was pure raunch from the outset, which saw the star sporting a sexy circus mistress's uniform. Dancers tumbled from the ceiling sporting S&M masks.

During Piece Of Me the songbird, sporting a shiny PVC outfit, found herself imprisoned in a cage which was dragged around the stage. A spot of pole-dancing from the Louisiana native preceeded a segment which saw her subject to a number of magicians' tricks like being sawn in half.

Controversial track If U Seek Amy saw her bashing her dancers over the head with a pink hammer.


A Bollywood-themed section followed with the singer in traditional Indian clothing.


Shock rocker MARILYN MANSON's cover version of The Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams soundtracked a particularly eye-popping video which was aired during a segue. It featured Britney draping herself over various mask-sporting men in an orgy-style scenario. Hmmmm...Madonna's "Sex" book much? I guess the similarities have been established. I know. Beating a dead horse. Next.

But it was the penultimate Freakshow segment that was the most extraordinary of the evening, with track Slave 4 U proving the most eye-popping. Britney sporting a shiny metallic body-suit while flames erupted around the stage was just mind-boggling.

The young, parent-friendly Britney has well and truly left the building.
Welcome then, 2009's adult, X-rated older sister."

Good for Brit. But when she comes to Seattle, I won't be going. HEY. I saw her back in 1999 for the "Baby One More Time" tour with Alex and Hunter before Britney had to start workin' the pole.

Heh. I just outed my boys.

Lindsay is Sagging...and Not Just Her Career. And Speaking of Boobs? Sharon Stone, WHAT the GDH?

This is what happens when you

DON'T EAT.

Actually, Lindsay is lucky her boobs have stuck around this long...but it looks like they are beginning their haitus. She coulda worn a bra with that weird dress, too, by the way.

Then we have elder-stateswoman, Sharon Stone showing off the goodies we don't care to see.

Yikes, Sharon. Really?

I admit it. Sharon's boobs look good. (If you tilt your computer screen just right, you will see what I'm talking about.) She's over 50, ya'll. However. When is it okay for women to wear see-through dresses in public? (Unless you are one of the following, of course: Carmen Electra; any of Hef's girlfriends..you get the idea...hoochies.) Des-per-ate.

Neither one of these (ahem) "ladies" attended the actual Oscar ceremony, but felt the need to trot around town looking for parties that might allow them to enter.

Angelina at 15 - Even THEN...

...she was a stunner. Most 15 year old kids go through that weird, gawky stage. Not our Angie! Wow...check these photos out. Apparently, they were one of her first modeling shoots.

Then that little 8th grader turned into this:

And no...I will never grow weary of Angie and her freakish beauty.