Tom Cruise is SUCH a Girl!

A haggard Katie and a bronzed and toned Tom

with Stinkfoot in NYC

This must be written in PINK. Good God, listen to what Tom-I'm-STRAIGHT-I-Swear! Cruise had to say about marriage and his wife "Kate". (WHY does he always change his wife's name? First Nicole Kidman became "Nic" and now "Kate". I think he likes the butchier sound of these endearments.)

"... in a recent interview with The Sun, Tom spoke about how well things are going with his family, saying, “Married life is very good, very lovely. I feel lucky to have Kate as my wife. She’s an extraordinary woman. She is funny and smart and she likes the same things that I do.” Um. God forbid she has an interest of her own!

“She’s a very strong, gracious woman, and a great comedian. I like doing romantic things, such as bringing flowers and surprising her with things. I love candlelit evenings with nice music, “ Cruise adds. " Where are the quiet walks on the beach? Is this an ad for E-Scientology, I mean, E-Harmony?

Tom Cruise totally sounds like a queer trying to sound straight. Oh, and you should all realize by now that I have it on very good authority that what I am insinuating is probably true.