Too Much Random DNA Found at Paris Hilton's House to Determine Burglary Suspect

Okay, EWWW on that title.

Seen here standing by her HIDEOUS new pink Bentley yesterday, Paris Hilton is confident that whoever burglarized her home has been there before. "We have some suspects that I'm thinking of," she tells E! News:

"Obviously it's devastating and disturbing that someone was in my home," Hilton said. "[But] we have three security guards there and a 24-hour guard who is always on my property. We have the alarm on, [we have] the dogs, the guards with the gun, so no one is going to be coming into my house."Hilton also has a message for the person or persons responsible for shattering her sense of security:"I would tell them to please return my things, because I know they're probably watching E! News right now, to return everything and that's it," she told us."They just have to anonymously have a taxi drop it off in my front gate in a box with my jewelry and everything. They won't get in trouble. But if all this goes on for much longer, they're going to get in more trouble."

"Shattering her sense of security"? Oh brother, Paris.

God, I hate myself for loving that skirt of hers.