People's Choice Awards, Bitches!

The late Heath Ledger's genius portrayal of "The Joker"
Christian Bale accepting the award for Heath Ledger

ABC reports:

"The Dark Knight" soared away with every trophy it was nominated for Wednesday at the 35th annual fan-favorite CBS ceremony. The caped crusader flick won five awards, including favorite cast, superhero, action movie and on-screen matchup for Christian Bale's Batman and the late Heath Ledger's Joker.
"On behalf of all of the cast from the movie, thank you very much to the fans," said Bale. "Here's to Heath."

I'll get to all that in a second...my first question is: What the goddamnhell was StupidParisHilton doing at the People's Choice Awards? Because I tell ya what--if the actual People were able to vote for an award to give Paris, it would go something like this:

...and the People's Choice Award for "Vapid-Badly-Aging-No-Talent-With Nothing-But-Time-On-Her Hands-and-A Drink-Spilled-on-Her-Dress-and-The- Herp-on-Her-Usually-Visable-Girly-Parts" goes to: "Oh! For the 5th consectuive year! PARIS HILTON!" Yay.

Paris-ite standing like a 5-year old.

"See my new twirly dress?"

Hollywood's Golden Couple, as far as I'm concerned is Ellen DeGeneres and Portia deRossi. I've had a girl-crush on Portia since before we even knew she was a lesbian. So THERE. I beat ya all to the punch on that one. Ellen looks so great here, don't you think?

Ellen with her "Best Talk Show Host" award with wife, Portia.

Reese Witherspoon with her "Favorite Actress" award, even though she didn't DO much last year.

Here is a complete list of winners at the 35th annual People's Choice Awards:
— Movie: "The Dark Knight"
— Family movie: "WALL-E"
— Action movie: "The Dark Knight"
— Comedy movie: "27 Dresses"
— Drama movie: "The Secret Life of Bees"
— Independent movie: "The Secret Life of Bees"
— Favorite cast: "The Dark Knight"
— Male movie star: Will Smith
— Leading man: Brad Pitt
— Male action star: Will Smith
— Female movie star: Reese Witherspoon
— Leading lady: Kate Hudson
— Female action star: Angelina Jolie
— On-screen matchup: Christian Bale and Heath Ledger, "The Dark Knight"
— Superhero: Christian Bale as Batman, "The Dark Knight"
— TV drama: "House"
— TV comedy: "Two and a Half Men"
— TV animated comedy: "The Simpsons"
— Sci-fi/fantasy show: "Heroes"
— Reality show: "Dancing With the Stars"
— Game show: "Deal or No Deal"
— Male TV star: Hugh Laurie
— Female TV star: Christina Applegate
— Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres
— Scene-stealing guest star: Robin Williams, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"
— TV drama diva: Kyra Sedgwick as Brenda Johnson, "The Closer"
— New TV comedy: "Gary Unmarried"
— New TV drama: "The Mentalist"
— Male singer: Chris Brown
— Female singer: Carrie Underwood
— Group: Rascal Flatts
— R&B song: Alicia Keys, "No One"
— Pop song: Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl"
— Rock song: Kid Rock, "All Summer Long"
— Country song: Carrie Underwood, "Last Name"
— Hip-hop song: Flo Rida featuring T-Pain, "Low"
— Combined forces: Jordin Sparks featuring Chris Brown, "No Air"
— Song from a soundtrack: "Mamma Mia" from "Mamma Mia!"
— Funny male star: Adam Sandler
— Funny female star: Tina Fey
— Star under 35: Carrie Underwood
— Online sensation: "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog"
— User-generated video: "Barack Roll"

Honestly? I find this particular awards show to be dorky.