Tom Cruise to Stop "Being Tom Cruise"...

"Call the poliiiiiiiiice!", whispers Katie Holmes

in order to re-capture female fanbase.

according to Star:
- No talking about Scientology.

- No wearing sunglasses on the red carpet.

- No showing up to premieres in fancy cars.- Appear on women-friendly shows like The View. "It's all very calculated."

- No man-handling the Katie. At least in public. "Tom needs to quit grabbing her arm and pulling her around. The idea is to make him the kinder, gentler Tom, not a controlling husband with a Stepford wife."

Yeah, because we're all idiots and will fall for this crap.

I just cannot get over how blissful and luminous "Kate" looks these days, how 'bout you?

Bleh.