Today's Blind Item!!

"This crown prince of the celebutards is married to a B list movie actress with A list name recognition. To impress his friends, our celebutard likes nothing more than to whip out his cell phone and show them naked pictures of his wife." [CDaN]

Looks like this couple has made my blog TWICE today. Shame, shame.

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's Youngest Daughter Loves a Drinky-Poo

Scout Willis arriving at her
over-the-top 18th birthday party.

Tallulah Willis, not
completely drunk yet.

Tallulah, showing us her Drunkface!

Rumer, arriving in a
see-through flapper dress.

Bruce with his new child bride.

Demi, looking better than she
has a right to.

I highly doubt Ashton got any
footage of his youngest step-daughter
being completely inappropriate.

I'm the first one to say "hindsight is 20/20", so let me get that out of the way right now. I'm no one to throw stones, but I've got a good arm and the parents in this mess better DUCK. I tell ya what--that little drunken snip Tallulah Belle would be shipped off to a strict boarding school THIS MORNING, had I been the mother in this situation. I guess not everyone learns from their mistakes, do they Demi? Apparently, older sister Scout's 18th birthday was a big ol' 20's-themed boozy party, probably complete with bathtub gin on tap.

I love how Bruce, Demi and Ashton self-righteously pretend they are so on top of what their girls are up to in terms of underage drinking (and all the other stuff that goes along with raising teenagers). Remember when the "adults" weren't all that happy when Rumer (aka Chinny Chin Chin) was hanging out with Lindsay a couple years ago? I'm sure that did a lot of good. Pssh.

I actually think Demi is more like her role in "Bobby" than she'd care to admit. Remember the scene where she was all drunk, smoking and belittling Sharon Stone's character, while gittin' her hair did? Yeah. That one. Having said that, she'd looked fan-effing-TASTIC. Better, in fact, that Bruce's Demi-wannabe new child wife. Maybe that's what really matters?

While Ashton and Demi were busy video-taping one another, where was Tallulah? Gettin' her drink on and hitting on older men and showing her goodies, that's where. She's FIFTEEN. Last I heard, her last name wasn't LOHAN.

via The Socialitelife:

"They grow up so fast don't they? Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher along with Demi's ex-husband Bruce Willis and his new wife Emma Heming threw an 18th birthday bash their daughter Scout LaRue Willis' 18th birthday. The party took place at the Cicada restaurant in Los Angeles California this past Friday, July 17.

Scout's younger sister Tallulah Belle Willis was also at the party, and was acting like one of the grown ups. She was flirting with an older man, cocktail in hand and carrying around a timeless accessory her own pack of Marlboro lights! The 15-year-old concluded the evening by being escorted out (the Willis women love their drinky) by her friends who all carefully steadied her as she tried to avoid the watchful glare of step-dad Ashton Kutcher."

I'd love to have heard the conversation with that little girl the next day--assuming there was one.

Happy Birthday, Prince Felix Alexander!

Life is pretty sweet.

...even upside down.

I think Felix is laughing AT Stephen (Pip)
and not with him. That's his way.

One of the best times is rocking

this sweet baby to sleep.

Is that Timberlake?
No, it's Alex and his boy.

Uncle Hunter and his favorite
person in the world.

Felix and "Auntie" Patrick

Look at those meaty legs and feet!

The sad little Christmas Elf

The "chub" has begun...

"Mim forced me to wear this get-up
from Florence, Italy. Yeeeeesh."

"Those fries look GOOD"...Chris Farley

Mom and Baby

Nose to nose with Dad.

I believe they also received
$14 million from People Magazine
for their baby pictures...heh.

Sleepin' time with Mom

One WEEK before Felix arrived!

Ugh. Alex and Felix's "Michael and Blanket"
impersonation. It was 3 FEET off the ground,
not several stories.

ET?

I can't repeat the words he was
saying here...

You've GOT to be kidding me.

Today is our darling Felix's 1st birthday. He's perfection. He's silly and funny and we just adore this little bundle.

Alex and Dayna are great parents. They aren't terribly "goody-goody", which I think is great--and by that I mean they make fun of Felix when he's being silly or if he's crying just to cry. For instance, I called Alex one day and heard that precious angel screaming in the background. I asked Alex what is WRONG? Alex replied, "Aww. He can't take a joke." I was bent in half from laughter. Oh, they dote on him, don't get me wrong; they just know how to laugh at things instead of stress out.

If anyone is overly-protective about Felix, it's Hunter. He loves that baby more than anything. I just love seeing him with his baby nephew. He is so tender and sweet with Felix. Dirty diapers? No problem. Hunter can soothe that baby sometimes when no one else can.

Stephen and I took Felix out to dinner a few night ago to our favorite sushi place. Felix had smashed sweet potatoes, yams and edamame and his favorite, miso soup. He loved his little meal, but was far more interested in the cute, chatty high school girls behind us and kept leaning over backwards in his high chair and pointing at them and smiling. Alex and Dayna will have their hands full in about 15 years and I LOVE it.

The torch has been passed.

Robert Rodriguez to begin filming "Machete" - but where are the hot chicks?

Director, Robert Rodriguez

Danny Trejo - Machete

"ROBERT RODRIGUEZ has reportedly assembled an all-star cast for his new GRINDHOUSE spin-off, including ROBERT DE NIRO, JONAH HILL, and MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ.

The movie is based on a fake trailer that appeared before Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's 2007 Grindhouse double-bill.

Two years on, the filmmaker has decided to turn it into a full-length film.
Danny Trejo will reprise his role as Machete, a madman hellbent on revenge, and De Niro will play a senator who double-crosses him."

I LOVE Robert Rodriguez's movies...LOVE THEM. I loved Grindhouse, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Desperado--all of them. The casting of Michelle Rodriguez (no relationship, as far as I know) troubles me, though. In all of Robert's previous films, he's had extremely sizzling hot actresses; and no offense to Michelle, but well, not so hot. Compared to Salma Hayek, Marley Shelton, Rose McGowan, and the stunning Rosario Dawson?

Wow. Come ON, Robert!

It's that time again--STARS WITHOUT MAKE-UP!

The worst goes FIRST.
Kate Hudson. Wow. Awesome chins.

Ali Larter from "Heroes" looks great.

J.Lo, not bad and gorgeous skin

Yikes. ScarJo is scary.

Halle Berry just looks tired.

See? I'm not always mean. Some of these ladies look just fine...but K.Hud needs to place her order for this gadget ASAP.

Lindsay Lohan in Spanish Vogue - Dressed Up Like Her Mom?

Oh, forpitySAKE.

[annoyed SIGH]

I would love to be the one to shake Lindsay Lohan and scream, "YOU'RE NOT MARILYN MONROE!", but I know she'd just wipe the coke rez from her nose and stomp off on her Huffy bike. Jesus H. this is getting to be really annoying. Here's Stupid again, posing as Marilyn for Spanish Vogue.

Tan fea y tonta. (My smarty-pants husband speaks Spanish, ya'll!)

First of all, bitch looks EXACTLY like her nutbar of a mother, Dina. They're the same age, you know. It's some sort of a miracle or curse, depending on who you ask.

My Gift to YOU...and me.

Uhhh. ..yeah...ummm..

Look at that smile...

Oh, David Beckham's back. No. really...
his BACK.

I understand that David Beckham returned from playing socc--um, football in Milan to his MLS team the Los Angeles Galaxy. The Galaxy beat the New York Red Bulls last night 3-1. Apparently Becks was greeted with boos from the crowd. Blah, blah, blah....

Oh, whatever. He's David Bloody Beckham. Take a good, hard look.

Sigh. Happy sigh.