A couple of Lindsay Lohan's photos from MUSE Magazine. Hmmmmm. (NSFW, FYI)

 

 

 

 

Sorry for this last one.

Girl ain't got no ass whatsoever.

Photographer Yu Tsai spoke to the NY Post and said about his photoshoot with Lindsay Lohan and a couple of other freaks models about her "homage" to Kate Moss and Johnny Depp's relationship:

"The three of them were very sensual and provocative, but Lindsay understands this piece was created not for any sensational value other than artistic integrity," Tsai said. "There was never a discussion about pushing the boundaries. (BOUNDARIES? HAHAHAHA! Good one.) She was totally comfortable with the nudity as long as it had artistic integrity.

"When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss -- you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl."

I feel badly for Johnny Depp's name being thrown into this pot of crap. Now, Kate's trashy name deserves every bit of it -- I understand she even approves of this mess.

Honestly. Lindsay looks like a coked-up whore. And I mean that in the sweetest way possible. 

Yes. It's yet ANOTHER Lindsay Lohan Post. WhatEVER.

 

Is that what I think I see peeking out?

 

LINDSAY!! Get your GD ass to rehab.

Right. This. Minute.

Hot. Fucking. Mess. This 23 year old young woman is going to die young. I hate to be the one to announce this sad story, but believe me, the writing is on the bathroom stall wall. Just look at her. Here's Drunk/Drugface at the prestigious Whitney Museum Gala last night. 

I don't think Lindsay looks coked-up here. I think she looks drunk and woozy. Is she swallowing Oxycontin now? Her crazy Pot-Calling-the-Kettle-Black father, Michael is blabbing to any media outlet that will print his words, thinks she needs to be back in rehab. Of course, he's stating the obvious, but Lindsay has already been to rehab, what THREE times? If she doesn't wanna go--it won't do a damn bit of good.

Lindsay is a runaway bullet train that hasn't wrecked--yet.

Oh, and ssshhhh...I love her pink coat.

Tawny Kitaen Arrested Again for DUI

An old mughot of Tawny's 

from an earlier arrest

Here you go, again on your own, Tawny. (Cringe..sorry.)

This woman needs to hire a driver because she obviously won't fire her dealer or stop driving drunk.

via the OC Register:


NEWPORT BEACH – Tawny Kitaen, actress and ex-wife of former Angels pitcher Chuck Finley, was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence this afternoon.

Kitaen, 48, was arrested by Newport Beach Police at 3 p.m. She was released on a $2,500 bail.

It is unclear if Kitaen, of Newport Beach, was under the influence of alcohol, prescription drugs or both, said Newport Beach Police Sgt. Steve Burdette.

Kitaen was arrested near John Wayne Airport at Bristol North and Campus Street after being involved in a traffic collision. There were no injurues and no report on damages to either of the cars, said Burdette.

Kitaen was a cast member for season 2 of reality TV show, "Celebrity Rehab." Three years ago, Kitaen entered a drug rehabilitation program after pleading guilty to possessing 15 grams of cocaine.
She was arrested in 2002 on charges she abused her then-husband, former Angels pitcher Chuck Finley."

Oh, Tawny. You used to be stunning. Not just pretty--STUNNING. That wild mess of auburn hair, those legs doing cartwheels and splits on the two Jags in the beloved (?) 80's video Here I Go (Again on My Own) by Whitesnake.

Tawny and David, way back in the day.

Girl, you even married the gorgeous lead singer, David Coverdale (who still looks great, by the way--doesn't that just figure that the dude stays hot after all these years, but the chicks can't seem to?). Then it all went to crap...you dated OJ forpitysake, then married a baseball player and proceeded to beat the crap out him with your shoes...one arrest after another.


Sigh. Then came fewer roles, and then your were on Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew--but you didn't want to go to Sober Living. See what happened?

Here's a little something for everyone to remember how beautiful Tawny Kitaen was: 




But really, you were just one of many video ho vixens...except you actually had potential.

Hold on to your effing hat--the Olsen Twins are SMILING.

 

Oh happy day!!

[photo by Patrick McMullan]

I haven't seen smiles THIS BIG on Trollsen Twins since their Full House days. I know, "how roooood". 

Check these two out at Bergdorf Goodman for Fashion’s Night Out on Thursday night. I wonder if there were little clear packets and prescription meds being passed around, too? 

Okay. That was just plain mean.

But seriously. Were they passing out party favors?

Today's Blind Item - "No wonder she's lost weight" Edition

WHICH curvaceous starlet and her new Hollywood hubby were reckless at a swanky LA hotel recently? The normally private twosome were spotted snorting cocaine in front of other guests.

via BIE

I have an idea who this could be. I don't care for this chick. At all.

AGAIN? Robin Wright-Penn and Sean Penn need to sh&t or get off the pot already!

"Hey, sup? Ya holdin'?"
Oh, Sean.

OhforpitySAKE. Just DO it already. GAAAH.

Here we go again, ya'll. People Magazine is reporting that Robin Wright-Penn filed for divorce against her (butthole) husband, Sean Penn ONCE AGAIN.

"Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from her husband Sean Penn, PEOPLE has learned.

The papers, filed in Marin County, Calif., on Aug. 12, state that "both parties have already agreed to [shared] custody" over their minor son, Hopper Jack, 16, and that "the estranged couple have already agreed to division of all property."

The reason for the split is listed as "irreconcilable differences." Wright Penn, best known for roles in "The Princess Bride" and "Forrest Gump," is not seeking spousal support."

Read between the lines, people. We all know that Sean slithered away (possibly for rehab for cocaine abuse), and backed out of the "Three Stooges" film, using the excuse of "getting his family back in order", or something like that. I don't think it "took".

I guess now he'll be able to openly snort coke with a certain orange-y, practically un-hireable young-but-really-old looking "starlet". But you didn't hear that from ME.

Lindsay Lohan in British Elle - A Lesson in Photoshop 101

...and Lindsay is on the cover, why?

Lindsay's favorite pose: Finger in mouth.
Freudian much?

We GET it. We all know what
you can do with your mouth, hon.

Jeez. Here's my 8000th post this month featuring Lindsay Lohan. Sorry. But I saw these pictures from the latest edition of British Elle and had to show ya'll. This is the shoot in London wherein she chased Sam around, was accused (?) of stealing many of the jewels that were to be featured in her spread...nice choice of words, eh?

ANYmediawhore. I saw a video of this strange photoshoot. Girlfriend looked haggard. Thank the LAWD for Photoshop. Suddenly, Lindsay is completely void of all sagging eyelids, ciggie tracks on her mouth and dark undereye circles.

I want Photoshop performed on me before I leave the house, starting tomorrow...who's with me?

Lindsay dipped her head in Clorox and got a jobby-job.

Cokehead Barbie got a job!

Ugh. Robert Rodriguez has apparently hired Lindsay to ruin his new movie (based on a fake trailer shown during "Grindhouse") called "Machete". The movie stars Danny Trejo (who is in every single Rodriguez movie), and Michelle (fired from "Lost" chick, alledged lesbian and DUI enthusiast) Rodriguez. Oh dear Lord, this movie is circling the drain before filming has even begun in Austin, Texas in two weeks.

I cannot wait for the cocaine to hit the fan, ya'll.

Joel and Lisa can consider this a wedding present. You're welcome, Lovies. I know how you two love the Lindsay Lohan posts. xoxo ~j

Lindsay Lohan is a dirty girl. But we all knew that, didn't we?

If we didn't know better,
we'd assume this was a hooker
looking for the bathroom in a nice
retail store to ________:
Fill in the blank.

Lindsay clearly needs a wash. Who walks around a store with feet like that? She's also taken to not wearing a bra. Normally, that wouldn't bother me that much, but with her stick-like frame, her big ol'sagging boobies are, well, nast. If anyone else tried to get into this shop they'd be shunned quicker than Vivian in Pretty Woman--who at least had the decency to OWN her prostituting ways. Know'msayin'?

Do I need to remind everyone that Lindsay just turned 23?

Lindsay Lohan in Spanish Vogue - Dressed Up Like Her Mom?

Oh, forpitySAKE.

[annoyed SIGH]

I would love to be the one to shake Lindsay Lohan and scream, "YOU'RE NOT MARILYN MONROE!", but I know she'd just wipe the coke rez from her nose and stomp off on her Huffy bike. Jesus H. this is getting to be really annoying. Here's Stupid again, posing as Marilyn for Spanish Vogue.

Tan fea y tonta. (My smarty-pants husband speaks Spanish, ya'll!)

First of all, bitch looks EXACTLY like her nutbar of a mother, Dina. They're the same age, you know. It's some sort of a miracle or curse, depending on who you ask.

Happy 43rd Birthday Lindsay Lohan!!

Lindsay looks raggedy, ya'll.

Oh. She's 23?? Jesus Chri--oh. It's Sunday. I'll try to keep the swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain to a minimum, but What. The. EFF?? First of all, WHAT the goddamnedhell (I can't help it) is she wearing?? Those are some hideous hooves, ya'll. And is that a swimsuit?

As usual, Lindsay's looking fit, well-fed, healthy and clean. Right? RIGHT???

Did Lindsay Lohan Steal Jewelry? GASP!

"Mine. Mine. Mine."

How DARE you! How could anyone accuse sweet little Lindsay of STEALING? Oh. Yeah. Nevermind.

According to a HolyMoly report, the “Mean Girls” actress was in London for a photo shoot with Elle magazine when she allegedly lifted $45,000 worth of jewels that were on loan from a local jeweler."

AND!

Requests for information, or for the return of the swag, has been repeatedly put to Lindsay's representatives, but two weeks later both magazine and jewellers have yet to receive any form of response. This has left them with no alternative but to pass the case on to British police.

This isn't the first time Lindsay has been linked with stolen stuff. Louis Vuitton reportedly refuse to deal with her anymore after she repeatedly stole stuff from their shoots:

According to the New York Post:

"Louis Vuitton had sent over some samples for her to wear in the shoot. Lindsay kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist's assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them.

"She ended up walking off with a very expensive shirt and some other items - which screwed Louis Vuitton because they were set to go to Vogue, W and Harper's Bazaar for other shoots.

"They were furious and kept trying to get their clothes back, but ... Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls."

Seriously? Lindsay never returned their calls? I'm sure it's all just a "misunderstanding"...like that fur coat--belonging to someone else--she walked off with several months ago. Oh, and the coat "mysteriously" was returned to its rightful owner after attorneys got involved.

Oh, Lindsay. Way to help the image you were trying repair.

Dreamboat Dr. Drew thinks Lindsay needs to lose a leg in order to get it together, man!

Dreamboat Dr. Drew

Lindsay is look old and rough.

My Dreamboat Dr. Drew Pinsky (of "Loveline" and "Celebrity Rehab" fame") is calling Lindsay out on her shit. I love it. Sistergirl is barely 23 and needs the Botox almost as badly as I do. "Rode hard and put away wet" should be her next tattoo, don't you think? My fascination with Linds is beginning to wane. (It's because she can't get Sam back.) But did you notice she's still wearing the gold Cartier "Love" bracelet she and Sam both were wearing? I sure don't see Samantha wearing hers anymore. Just sayin'.

Oh yeah. Dreamboat Dr. Drew. Here's what he had to say about Ms. Lohan and her ghastly lifestyle:

Dr. Drew told Parade (via NJ.com),

"I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. I'm really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to her before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up. And it's going to be a while before she does. I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does. And it scares me."

Not to be a bitch or anything, but losing a leg didn't make Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills any less of a nutcase. Know'msayin'?

Tori Spelling Makes Me Hork Up Bile.

Cokehead Barbie with melted boobies!
By Mattel!

You know what? I don't feel good. I've had this goddamned flu/cold/or whateverthehell I have for almost three weeks. My throat is bright red and my left ear feels like hot needles are stabbing the eardrum. So the LAST thing(s) I wanna see before I shut down this burning laptop for the evening are Tori Spelling's deformed, lopsided, hard and cracked up silicone boobs. Look what it did to her kid! He passed the eff OUT.

Honestly, Tori. Your mom won't talk to you because she doesn't recognize your ass. Not even when you're sitting across the table from her at The Ivy...she has NO. IDEA.

Put down the chopped straw that you hide in your purse, and EAT. Then go get those tits FIXED. Jesus H.

Lindsay Lohan Got a Job AND Burglarized! What luck!

This is what 22 looks like.

Oh Lindsay. You finally got a jobby-job (other than the kind we are always hearing about...I hope that you didn't use those skills to get this part). But then someone breaks into your house, the cops call it a pigstye, but that the Hamburglar (Cokeburglar?) didn't make the mess because the bumbling thief couldn't get the door open. I have a feeling being called a poor housekeeper upset you more than being called Coke-Head Barbie, unemployed and Stalker of Sam.

People Magazine reported:

"While the driver stayed inside, the passenger suspect stepped out of the vehicle, walked through a gate and entered the backyard of the residence," say police, who are seeking the public's help in identifying the suspects."Investigators believed that the suspect tried to gain entry by using an unknown type tool to pry open a back window and door. After the unsuccessful attempt, the suspects drove off."

So about Lindsay's job:

E! News reports:
Lindsay Lohan is going back to The Other Side, starring in an indie fantasy comedy alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette. The film centers on a grad student who spends the summer working at a science institute on a remote island and discovers the location has a secret history. Cameras roll in Massachusetts this October.

Ya'll better add this masterpiece to your Netflix queue, 'cause it's goin' straight to video. Stat.

Lindsay Lohan Pregnant? Please let this be a vicious rumor--that I'm helping to spread, I guess.

Lindsay with her white skinny jeans and

white Maserati (that some porn dude gave her--

the car, not the jeans).

Lindsay Lohan is seven weeks pregnant if you consider an anonymous Lindsay friend on IanUndercover.com a credible source:

"I swear she's carrying," the Lilo friend said. "She's going through big emotional turmoil. She's not sure if she'll have it or go through with an abortion that she booked to have in the next few days. Saddest part is she has no idea who the father is. She must have slept with more than two dozen men in the past couple of months."

Please, lets send a message here loud and clear to Lilo what to do. IUC encourages her to have the child."

Here's what I believe to be true in all of this: Lindsay is indeed "going through big emotional turmoil"; and that she's "slept with more than two dozen men in the past couple of months". Okay, maybe she has a standing appointment for an abortion, but that's just gross.

If this rumor was planted by her people, it's nast. Again, this is NOT the way to get a decent job in Hollywood, Linds. And by "decent", I mean NOT PORN. Get it together, sister.

Lindsay is Chanelling Marilyn Monroe Again? Really? I Beg to Differ.

"YAY! I look just like Mommy--I mean, Marilyn!I!"
As always, Mother of the Year - Dina Lohan

Seems Lindsay is trying to be Marilyn again...but she only ends up looking exactly like her mother, Dina. Happy Mother's Day! (Shudder...)

Costume Institute Gala 2009 at The Metropolitan Museum of Art Monday Night

Madonna wins the WHAT the GDH Award.

Didn't I just say she can't dress appropriately--EVER?

Mayjah disappointment, Posh. Mayjah.

StupidKateMoss, looking coked-out

Tom Brady, Simpleton and wife, StupidGiselle

Jessica Biel and

Justin-Take-Me-Seriously-Lake

Tranny-Tyra Banks

Rihanna. Yeeeesh.

Anne Hathaway, for Easy Spirit.

That's a LOT of dress, Heidi!

Oh, MaryKate. Did Miley lend you that dress?

Renee Zellweger, pinched. As usual.

This pictures smacks of Pretty Woman.

Kanye's stripper, girlfriend, Amber Rose

Kate Beckinsale. Pretty dress, weird face.

The always gorgeous Iman.

Where's hubby, David Bowie??

Tonight was the huge event in NYC known as Costume Institute Gala, which is held yearly at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This year's theme was "Model as Muse".

And ya know what? You should read all about it in the New York Times. I'm still rubbing my eyes in disbelief at Madonna's get-up. Here's the link...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/05/fashion/05gala.html?_r=1&src=twt&twt=nytimes

Separated at Birth...

Lindsay

Gollum. Bleh.

OhdearLawd. We seem to have an anorexia-theme today. LINDSAY!! Honestly! These pictures are NOT going to help your career. I know for a fact they will help you become the Pro-Ana SpokesSTICK, though.

Nicely done.

Sam and Linds Together Again?!?

Lindsay's skinniness at Sam's Clubhouse!

Please, oh please, oh PUHLEEEZ let this be true:

"Seen here arriving at Samantha Ronson's house, Lindsay Lohan might be back in the good graces of her gargoyle love, according to Us Magazine:
It's the same mansion where Lohan, 22, used to live with Ronson, 30, -- before the DJ had the locks changed following their breakup and Chateau Marmont blowout fight.X17online.com photographers described Lohan as appearing "calm...[but] happy." They spent about six hours together.That same afternoon, Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated."

You're goddamned right, "it's complicated". Did you SEE Lindsay on "Ellen" yesterday? HOT FIDGETY MESS. OhmyLord, Lindsay was blabbing endlessly about her, um, "career", the tabloids (and how she's "sooo not interesting"--I beg to differ) and her surprise (?) break-up with Samantha Ronson. Enjoy the nut-fest:



My guess is that Sam saw this and realized just how much she missed all of the intellectual discussions she and Linds used to have--that, and the Crazy with a capital C.