Saturday, February 28, 2009

This Will End Up Badly. Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are Back Together and Trying to Get Pregnant?

Kate and Owen. Again.

OhdearLord. Desperate and Flighty Kate and Fragile Owen are trying again to make a go of things again. But this time, a baby may be involved?

The Sun reports:

A source close to Owen told The Sun, “Kate and Owen initially got back together three months ago after realizing they couldn't live without each other. Now they are ready to become parents. They've discussed the idea of becoming parents at length and Kate has seen a change in Owen...He loves the idea of being a dad and has told Kate that he's ready when she is, but the sooner, the better!”

The source added, "Kate is over the moon and really wants to start a family with Owen now [that] she feels he has finally grown up. The fact that he is ready to make that commitment to her has given her faith in the relationship."

Okaaaaay. Everyone's "over the moon". Kate can't seem to keep a man for more than a couple of years, tops. The last time she and Owen broke up? He ended up with some nasty cross-shaped scars on his wrists and a trip to the hospital.

This whole relationship is worrysome, at best.

Gwen, Kingston and Gavin! YAY!

Awwww...but where's Zuma?

Knocked Up Celebrities is reporting:

"Gwen Stefani and son, Kingston, were spotted at Coldwater Canyon Park today in Beverly Hills playing at the park. It looks like they had a lot of fun blowing up balloons and making animals out of them.
In other news it’s been confirmed that on May 11th Gwen and her band, No Doubt, will be on the season finale of Gossip Girl. I can’t wait to see how they will incorporate them into the show."
On a related note, I picked up our tickets to see Gwen's hubby Gavin Rossdale April 14th at the Showbox in Seattle! YAY!! "Glycerine" will be bittersweet...

Funny Doggie Pictures, Ya'll!

Given the state of our economy and the fact that Rihanna took Chris Brown back, I think we need something funny. Like my doggies.
Here are the boxers, James and Bibby, who apparently now can unhinge his jaw like a cobra and swallow James whole!

Wrasslin' time!

And here's Angelina, the chubby whippet (hey, she's on prednesone!) letting those naughty boys know how she feels about their behavior.

Ahhhhrrrr, ahhhhrrrrr.....

There now. Don't we all feel better?

Chris Brown and Rihanna Dance to "Smack My Bitch Up". Okay. I'm Done.

"How ya like me NOW. bitches?"

Cue the music, Samantha, I'd like to be serenaded with Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up"...and gimme those 808s.

Eff. Look at that a-hole. Flexing his thuggy muscles on a jetski. Oh Chris Brown. You're such a badass, aren't you? Beatin' up girls and gettin' away with it--AND getting her back in your bed. Awesome.

Now is the time that we dance.

Chris Brown Can CLEARLY Do Whatever He Wants From Now On. darling.

Yeah. Rihanna is back with Chris Brown. Anyone else SO not surprised?

I'm sure he'll never hit a woman again. Right?

Friday, February 27, 2009

Kanye West Needs to Sit Down and Shut UP.

"C'mon Honey, let's go find O.J.!"

Previously, Kanye West said he was "devastated" and that Rihanna could be "the greatest perform in the world." This time, Kanye thinks we should all just give Chris Brown a little pat on the head and a cup of water because "everybody makes mistakes" . Hold on while I scoop the brains that just exploded out of my head.

During a taping of Vh1's Storytellers on February 13th, Kanye said to the audience, "Can't we give Chris a break? ... I know I make mistakes in life."
Kanye went on to say, "Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing. ... He's a real fuckin' person; he makes mistakes. O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?"
Oh forget it. I can't mop up the the bloody mess from my head volcano, so I can't be held accountable for what spews from my mouth:
Kanye West is a goddamned misogynistic asshole. The one I feel badly for is Michael Phelps being lumped into the same category as O.J. (Wife and Waiter Killer) Simpson and Mr. Molester Michael Jackson. That's unfair, is what that is; but I digress.

One day, one day soon ya'll, women are gonna take to the streets. And I'll be right there with Kanye's effigy singeing my hair as I fly that fucker proudly. Ladies? Just let me know the time and place.
Goddamn these men.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Stevie Wonder Brought Barack and Michelle Obama Together--and KEEPS Them Together.

President Obama enjoying an evening at the
White House with Stevie Wonder

People Magazine is reporting:

"From the sounds of it, we can thank Stevie Wonder for the very existence of the new First Family. "I think it's fair to say that had I not been a Stevie Wonder fan, Michelle might not have dated me," President Barack Obama said at a White House concert before presenting the singer with the Gershwin Award for Lifetime Achievement. "We might not have married. The fact that we agreed on Stevie was part of the essence of our courtship." The East Room of the White House was transformed into a concert hall, featuring a high-wattage lineup of Wonder, Tony Bennett, Diana Krall, Martina McBride, Paul Simon and The performances are scheduled to air Thursday night on PBS."

and the new First Lady added this tidbit:
Michelle Obama called Wonder "one of the world's greatest artists" and said that Wonder's Talking Book was the first album she bought.
Prepare for the usual gush-fest. Michelle looked uh-maaazing in a green sleeveless empire-waisted gown designed by Stevie Wonder's wife, Kai Milla. Michelle wore her hair a bit wavy and looked just luminous. This woman is a style icon, plain and simple. Take a look for yourselves...

Michelle Obama speaking at the White House concert

Wow. Just WOW.

Oh No. Amy Winehouse is Trying to Re-kindle the Blake Flame...and the Crack Flame?

Amy and Blaaaaaake just after their marriage...better days.
The aftermath...and the future?

Amy? What are you thinking? You were doing relatively (?) well on your extended holiday in St. Lucia, weren;t you? (Aside from the topless photos, rumors of indiscriminate sex with men and women, and begging for drinks from hotel's all relative, I s'pose.) Now that Blake Incarcerated is out of the hoosegow/pokey/clink/slammer, you feel the need to go a-runnin' back? I think we all know how this story will end.

It's not gonna be pretty, people.

Rihanna Gets Some R & R in Mexico...and Chris Brown Goes to "Anger Management" Classes?

Rihanna, recuperating in Mexico on Saturday

Rihanna was spotted in Mexico this past weekend in a white bikini, and reportedly "looking sad". It seems as though her physical scars are healing, but no doubt the emotional ones will take more than just a couple of weeks to mend. I hope she seeks professional help for these wounds. It takes more than just a sunny vacation and hanging with friends to work this kind of shit out.

"After being shuttled to various locations over the past two weeks to protect her privacy, the 21-year-old star was photographed this weekend on the beach in Punta Mita, Mexico. She previously logged short stints in Los Angeles and her native Barbados."

Meanwhile, girlfriend-batterer Chris Brown is taking some anger management classes. Yeah, it's always better to take them after you turn your boo's face into hamburger, rather than prior to the beating, isn't it? I mean, I'm sure he never even knew he could get that pissed off at her, right? That would require some self-awareness and restraint. Dumbshit. As IF we all can't tell this is for PR (read: MONEY) purposes, as well as his court date in just a matter of days.

Chris Brown is a pathetic piece of crap.

Julia Louis Dreyfus vs. Lisa Rinna...Just For Fun.

LOVE Julia Louis-Dreyfus!
GAAAAAAHHH! I screamed just like you did!
Aside from all that horrific plastic surgery and the duck-lip injections, Lisa Rinna is THREE YEARS YOUNGER than Julia. You heard me correctly. Julia is 47, ya'll.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


C'mon...go over to the left and click me on Twitter!!

Oh Katie Holmes.

Katie? Just no.
Katie Holmes is dressing so strangely this week...she's been wearing palazzo pants (ya hear me talkin' to ya, Patrick?) in very drab colors on the street of NYC, and now THIS. I don't believe for a second anyone can look good in this hat...except for one person. And that one person could wear the new Isaac Mizrahi purse-hat and still look blindingly gorgeous.
Step away from the hat, Kate.

New Game: "Who's THAT Bitch??"


Wait for it.....


Gaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Tryna be Gwen Stefani? Lady GaGa? Or just a foul, pinch-faced bitch? YOU decide.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Jennifer Hudson to Appear on Oprah February 27th

The lovely Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson is appearing on "Oprah" on Friday. I can't imagine Jennifer opening up to anyone but Oprah. When the horrific murder of three members of her family took place in Chicago last November, the devastated Dreamgirls Oscar winner stayed in the city, under the watchful eye of Winfrey. A source tells Star magazine,

"Jennifer has been staying at Oprah's East Lake Shore Drive condo. There's plenty of privacy and security there."

I just love Jennifer's voice. "Spotlight" is a fantastic song. I wish the she and Robin Thicke (who she's touring with) would add Seattle to their schedule. That would be an amazing show...

I Feel Like Crap...

I totally fell off the veggie wagon at Tim and James's Oscar Party on Sunday. Here's the thing: I have NO willpower. NONE. I've been craving meat of some sort lately. I had been doing fine with veggies, fruit, pasta and fish, but all of a sudden, I wasn't feeling satisfied. So faced with a serving platter of perfectly cooked rare roast beef, I caved. (Oh. And since I'm in the Confessional, I smoked an entire clove ciggie, too. Sigh.)

I'm tired of eating Special K with berries for breakfast. Breakfast is honestly my favorite meal...give me eggs Benedict, homemade toast, fresh orange juice, hot tea and a nap and that's heaven on earth in my book. I'm getting bored with my "salad sammies" for lunch. However, I'm not remotely tired of Stephen's fantastic dinners. He surprises me each night with a new and delicious meal...veggie pizza without sauce, seared ahi in a spinach salad with avocado, pears and a wasabi dressing (from scratch, my friends)...yeah, he ROCKS.

I'm also tired of being tubby. The amount of weight I've put on this past year is completely unacceptable. This cannot continue. As much as I LOVE food--sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who just eat to survive. But then, that's a lot of pleasure lost, isn't it?

I want to feel good again. I want desperately to be one of those people who thrive on movement and exercise--but I'm not. I actually had a doctor tell me once (when I was 17 and getting a stress-test for a mild heart issue) that my body "doesn't tolerate exercise well". What the hell?
Who has some fresh insight to pull me out of my bathtub full of self-loathing and hollandaise sauce?

Megan Fox is Single!

"See? I can totally look like Lara Croft!"

Who? You know, the low rent Angelina Jolie? That hot chick who has been "engaged" to the original 90210's Brian Austin Green, aka "David Silver"-dork? Yeah. Her...

Both actors, who are choosing to focus on their careers according to the website, met in 2004, got engaged in November 2006 and have tattoos of each others' names on their bodies.
Fox is back on the big screen once again as Mikaela in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, due for a June release, while Green has been bolstering his resume as a regular on the TV series Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Oh, also...she's trying superhard to get in on the new Lara Croft movie--replacing Angie, who's so over it. See what I mean? Total poor man's Angie.

Northeastern Boxer Rescue Needs YOUR Help...

Sweet Gert

This poor girl needs your love and attention...


We received an e-mail plea regarding an older female boxer who was rescued from a horrendous puppy mill situation. Officials have been trying to shut this operation down for quite some time without success. Luckily, for some of the dogs, the owner of this puppy mill became ill and was hospitalized. Her daughter finally called the authorities and agreed to let them have the adult dogs. Sadly, she was able to keep all of the puppies.

Most of the dogs were small dogs, but there were also two boxers. Unfortunately, the other boxer was killed because he did not pass the shelter’s behavior evaluation. Three of the small dogs were euthanized for health reasons. An additional two dogs were found dead on the property. All of the dogs were shy and in terrible condition. Gertie was a favorite of the shelter staff because she was so sweet.

When we saw the picture of Gertie , her eyes were pleading with us; we knew we could not leave her to die in the shelter. Her age was estimated to be at least 10 years old. She has no teeth, and has obviously been bred multiple times. She is grossly underweight at 39 pounds. She has not been spayed because the veterinarian at the shelter said it would not be safe. We will make an appointment for Gertie to see our vet as soon as possible. She will receive a much needed medical work-up. Arrangements were immediately made to have her transported to one of our foster homes. More to come when Gertie arrives.

To help GERTRUDE you can either DONATE ONLINE AT:> <> or you can send a check> directly to: Northeastern Boxer Rescue, P.O. Box 95 Sunderland MA 01375.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about this sad and avoidable issue.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ashton and Demi's Oscar Party - Video

Qik - Live Video by Ashton

Pretty lame, but I'm posting it anyway...

Chris Brown Gives Rihanna Birthday Presents...Here We Go, Ya'll...

The "happy"couple...

"According to Extra, Chris Brown is trying to get back into Rihanna's good graces by sending her gifts up the wazoo. In addition to pleading presents, the alleged abuser also called Rihanna to wish her a happy 21st birthday. So what did Brown send to say he was sorry?
A diamond bracelet and necklace and an iPod touch."

I smell a reconciliation coming...soon. First the charges will be dropped, a little time will go by, everyone will say they had counseling and now see the error of their ways...blah, blah, blah.

I can just hear it: "But I LOVE him! It was MY fault, too! He said he was sorry and that he'd never do it again!"

Oh, Rihanna.

Viola Davis Channels Marilyn Monroe!

Viola Davis, nominated for Best Supporting
Actress in "Doubt"
Marilyn, in the iconic gold dress
Viola Davis swept into the Oscars in a dress very similar to the iconic gold dress worn by Marilyn Monroe...and looked like a million bucks.

President Obama and First Lady Michelle Looked Like Stars at Governors Dinner

Breathtaking First Couple

Michelle Obama makes it look so easy, doesn't she? How many women with real bodies can make a dress look better than it did on the model?

They both looked wonderful at this past weekend's Governors Dinner held at the White House.

Lindsay is Sagging...and Not Just Her Career. And Speaking of Boobs? Sharon Stone, WHAT the GDH?

This is what happens when you

Actually, Lindsay is lucky her boobs have stuck around this long...but it looks like they are beginning their haitus. She coulda worn a bra with that weird dress, too, by the way.
Then we have elder-stateswoman, Sharon Stone showing off the goodies we don't care to see.

Yikes, Sharon. Really?

I admit it. Sharon's boobs look good. (If you tilt your computer screen just right, you will see what I'm talking about.) She's over 50, ya'll. However. When is it okay for women to wear see-through dresses in public? (Unless you are one of the following, of course: Carmen Electra; any of Hef's get the idea...hoochies.) Des-per-ate.

Neither one of these (ahem) "ladies" attended the actual Oscar ceremony, but felt the need to trot around town looking for parties that might allow them to enter.

Beyonce` at the Oscars

That's just plain ugly, Bey.

When, oh WHEN will Beyonce` stop letting her mom dress her? OhmyLORD, this is hideous. Oh wait. I forgot the definition of "Dereon" (as in, House of Dereon, Tina Knowles "fashion" line) actually is hideous.
This was the worst dress of the Oscars 2009, folks.

Oscar Winners 2009 - Awards Season is Finally Over!

Kate Winslet's dress was prettier on TV...
Anne Hathaway irritates me, but
her dress is lovely.

Frieda Pinto, gorgeous in colbalt

Kentucky Derby Winner (I know. Mean.)
Sarah Jessica Parker - My favorite dress of the Oscars

I swear to God. Madonna HAS to be
sharing the 'roids with A-Rod.

The King and Queen of Hollywood...
Look at those EMERALDS!

"I have no idea why I'm here either!"
Stupid Aniston.

Oh, Oscar. No real surprises on last night's Oscars, but it was still quite a good show. Oh, there were trainwrecks, though. Aniston? Why was she there again? (Quick! Cut to Angie's smug reaction!)
Okay, here's your list, ya'll:
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Actor in a Leading Role: Sean Penn, Milk
Actress in a Leading Role: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Actress in a Supporting Role: Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Adapted Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
Animated Feature Film: WALL-E
Foreign Language Film: Departures (Japan)
Original Score: A.R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire
Original Song: "Jai Ho," A.R. Rahman and Gulzar; Slumdog Millionaire
Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Costume Design: The Duchess
Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Film Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Documentary Feature: Man on Wire
Documentary Short Subject: Smile Pinki
Animated Short Film: La Maison en Petits Cubes
Live Action Short Film: Spielzeugland (Toyland)
Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award: Jerry Lewis
Did you watch the Oscars? Who was your favorite? C'mom! Tell me!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Dell "RED" Computer Totally Reminds Me of Hunter...

This Dell "Red" commercial (with Mick Jagger singing, Charmed Life) gave me chills the first time I saw it--and it still does.

It's totally Hunter...he does lead a charmed life, and does create a fuss when he's in a crowd...and this young man embodies Hunter physically, as well.

Hunter's doing really well right now. He completed rehab and is living in a Sober House in the city.

We're all taking one day at a time with him.

Yet ANOTHER A-Hole Coming to Chris Brown's Defense...Keenan Thompson Needs His Own Bitchslap

Keenan (super-unfunny, lucky to have a job) Thompson

...and I am just the bitch to do it. EFF him.

Here's what the idiot had to say about SNL, Chris and Rihanna:

"It's not up to me, but I'm sure we would if he had another hit single," Thompson tells "We don't care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!""If we had them both on the show, that would be crazy," Thompson told Us at the GBK Luxury Lounge in L.A. on Friday.Thompson, a regular on the sketch show, says that this particular scandal is "an unfortunate situation.""I don't know the whole story, but I know how women can get when you get a text message from another female..."

Yeah. Those crazy bitches can't take a joke, can they, Keenan?

Nicole Richie is Pregnant Again!

Lovely Little Nicole
Nicole expecting Harlow, with Daddy Joel

Ya'll know how much I love Nicole really looks like Little Mama has totally turned her life around from the anorexic drunk friend of StupidParisHillton (who has nothing to show for her existence). Nicole and partner Joel Madden seem very happy and content with their lives.

People Magazine is reporting:

Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden are expecting another child, barely a year after the arrival of daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden last Jan. 11. In a message on the Web site of Good Charlotte, the band he fronts, Madden, 29, wrote, "I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope [you're] all feeling as good as i am right now." Madden's message is titled "Better than winning an OSCAR!"After a famously wild childhood, Richie, 27, credited the birth of daughter Harlow for leading her to a more tranquil life at home with Madden. "She gives life a whole new meaning."

You know, if baby Felix had been a girl his name would've been Harlow, too. Just a little newsflash. I'm in love with my little MeatPie...wouldn't have it any other way...maybe later? I think Dayna wants to name a girl "Veruca" now, though. Oh.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Jennifer Love Hewitt is Nuts and Desperate and 30

"Happy Birthday to MEEEEEE"

Isn't this an odd way to celebrate a 30th birthday? I guess Jennifer Love Hewitt is a real fan of Audrey Hepburn!! I know she played her in that lame-ass TV movie, but that was years ago. Obsessed much?

Here the actress is celebrating her birthday Saturday morning visiting and having breakfast at the Tiffany & Co. store in Beverly Hills. She appears to be alone. She and her fiance` broke up a few weeks ago, so I guess she and Paris Hilton are both wearing outfits out of the Dress Up Chest. (See post below re: StupidParisHilton, k?)

What is WRONG with J.Love? Weirdo.

Brit Awards - Hey! Another List!!

The luminous Duffy.

"The more I see, the more I know;
the more I know, the less I understand"...
Oh, Paul Weller. I love you. Swooooon.
This is an old song, I realize, but it's my favourite.

I admit it. I'm an anglophile when it comes to music and certain MEN (David Beckham, Jason Statham, Gavin Rossdale, Daniel Craig...) I love Snow Patrol, David Bowie, Duffy, Paul Weller (pronounced Pohl Wellah), Adele, Oasis, Mark Ronson, Amy Winehouse, Royworld, Keane, oh, the list goes on and on.

I'm irritated, though, because I haven't been able to find a broadcast of this year's Brit Awards on our one and only BBC channel. Again, I hate DishNetwork, goddamnit.

Here are the 2009 Brit Award Winners:

British Female Solo Artist: Duffy
I'm bummed I missed her show in Seattle.
International Female Solo Artist: Katy Perry
Bleh. Sick of this novelty act chick.
British Breakthrough Act: Duffy
International Group: Kings Of LeonBritish Male Solo Artist: Paul Weller
I find Mr. Weller extremely attractive.
International Album: Kings Of Leon - Only By the Night
"ohhhhh-ho, your sex is on fiiiiirre...." love it.
British Live Act: Iron Maiden
British Group: Elbow
Critics Choice: Florence And The Machine
International Male Solo Artist: Kanye West
British Single: Girls Aloud – “The Promise”
British Album: Duffy – Rockferry
Outstanding Contribution To Music: Pet Shop Boys
Producer of the Year: Bernard Butler

Oscar Parties! Addresses and Everything!

Governors Ball
The Grand Ballroom at Hollywood & Highland, 6801 Hollywood Blvd.,
Los Angeles
Hollywood's biggest party of the year also will be one of the most Zen as feng shui elements -- earth, metal, water, wood and fire -- are put on display. Look for mammoth Japanese shadow boxes.

Vanity Fair
Sunset Tower Hotel, 8358 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood
Taking place in a new location (good-bye Morton's), Grey Goose cocktails will circulate in a more intimate affair than in years past.

Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Viewing Party
Pacific Design Center, 8687 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles
Designer Anthony Todd is creating a "Simply Elegant Supper Club" theme replete with mirrored bars and lush hydrangeas flower arrangements.

The Envelope Please, Oscar Viewing Party to Benefit APLA
The Abbey, 692 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood
Since it's APLA's 25th anniversary, a silver theme takes center stage. APLA clients will receive the evening's centerpieces donated by Couture Baskets. Jennifer Love Hewitt presides.

Prince's Party
Prince's home in Beverly Park
Look for details on the event to keep you guessing until the last minute. But one thing is certain, you'll be partying like it's 2009.

Tim and James's Oscar and Pre-Oscar Party
Tim and James's Home
The most exclusive party of the evening.
Security will be posted within a thirty mile zone...(TMZ, ya'll!)

Oh, Terry from "Reno 911"--Your Weekend Funny

Just because.
And WHEN is the new season of Reno 911 starting??

Lindsay, Sam and Cadillac (the Bulldog!)

Awwww...lesbians and their doggies. WHAT could be sweeter??

SamLo and Caddy
After a hard afternoon of shopping in a Beverly Hill jewelry store (for sparkly things and a new watch for Sam), the gals take their darling bulldog, Cadillac for a stroll.
SUCH a hard life these two lead. They may need to call out sick again to recover.

Angelina at 15 - Even THEN...

...she was a stunner. Most 15 year old kids go through that weird, gawky stage. Not our Angie! Wow...check these photos out. Apparently, they were one of her first modeling shoots.

Then that little 8th grader turned into this:

And no...I will never grow weary of Angie and her freakish beauty.

Rihanna Spotted In Los Angeles

Rihanna in Los Angeles on Friday...
Photo from TMZ

TMZ is reporting:

"With her head down and wearing sunglasses, Rihanna was spotted on her way to an airport in the L.A. area on Thursday -- the night before her 21st birthday."

The poor thing. She looks as though she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Imagine being beaten up by your boyfriend and having the entire planet waiting for you to become "The Spokeswoman Against Domestic Violence"--at just barely 21 years of age. I'm sure she's struggling with so many thoughts in her head right now.
We're praying for you, RiRi.