Courtney Love Trashes Frances Bean to Strangers on the Internet

GAAAAH!!!!

Here's a little follow-up to the story earlier this week about Frances Bean Cobain wanting to get the EFF outta her mom's house and away from her...

via YahooNews.com


"Courtney Love has lashed out at daughter Frances Bean Cobain after the 17-year-old girl was placed under temporary guardianship of her paternal grandmother and Kurt Cobain's sister. (No reason was given for the guardianship.)

"I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this s**t has lost her position..." Love, 45, rants on her Facebook page. "She was deceptive, she lied and she's lying to herself... My daughter is not always honest."

Love also says her daughter isn't as rich as she thinks she is, adding that she is "clearly deluded" if she thinks she can buy her grandmother a "small house in L.A." Says Love, "I'd love to see how that works ... She thinks she has all this money. The point is, I have all the money she has."

Love insists her daughter "is a wonderful kid," but she has "bad people around her and wants it both ways."

She then names several of Kurt Cobain's family members. She even tells her daughter that her grandmother "killed your father," Kurt Cobain.

"You could've asked for emancipation..." Love tells her daughter. "You realize this will put you in juvenile family circus three times in your little life?"

Before signing off, Love tells her daughter, "I love you and always will unconditionally."

CLEARLY, Courtney needs to look up the word "UNCONDITIONALLY", because I don't think she knows the definition of the word.

To top off all of this nuttiness, TMZ.com just reported that a California judge has issued a restraining order against Courtney, which has ordered her to stay away from Frances. 

Wow. Merry Christmas, Court.

Courtney Love's daughter, Frances Bean is so over living with a nut.

Courtney and Frances during

Frances's weird-ass funeral-themed

16th birthday party.

Well, well, well. Seems our own little Frances Bean is as creeped out by her mom as we are! Have you read her Facebook entries? Holy Lord. Take a gander, won't you?


"IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn’t have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor but hell purposfully refinance Kim Cobains Property i bought her cash outright, for the 12th time using a phony address due to some fuck up on some Bogus “ART FORM OF THE CH 13” R TODD used, leavng KIM COBAINS PROPERTY REPOS…SESED< “you have an hour to get your things” wtf did Kim Cobain do to YOU… so its best to never tell let alone kiss and trell i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k 

and

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO."

So...Courtney has driven her daughter out with her nuttiness...

via People Magazine:   

"Courtney's been clean for years and is perfectly fine," says her attorney Keith A. Fink. "This is simply about Frances preferring to live with her grandmother at this time."

On Friday, a judge appointed Kurt Cobain's mother Wendy O'Connor and her daughter Kimberly Cobain as temporary legal guardians over Frances Bean. A hearing on the matter is set for Feb. 10.

"Frances is 17 and a strong-willed child, and this is a decision she made on her own," Fink adds. "No matter what, Courtney loves her daughter more than anything in the world."

This isn't the first time O'Connor has been named guardian of Frances.

In 2003, L.A. County officials removed Frances from her mother following the singer's arrest for attempting to break into her ex-boyfriend's home. O'Connor was given legal control over the girl.

But Love regained custody in January 2005 after the singer proved to the court that she turned her life around and had kicked her drug habit.

Last year, Frances told Harper's Bazaar that O'Connor, who lives in Olympia, Wash., has been a constant force in her life. "She's probably the person I respect most out of anybody in the world," she told the magazine.

Geraldine Wyle, a lawyer for Frances and the two guardians, said only, "This is a private family matter."

Thank goodness Frances has a safe-haven. 

Having said that, Patrick and I became hoarse from screaming along with Courtney on Hole's "Live Through This" cd in the car today. 



Still one of the best cds of the 90's.

Oh, Courtney Love...GO ON TAKE EVERYTHING - on Facebook

Hold on to your effing hats...here we go.

Courtney Love left Twitter in a huff (nice choice of words) and is now taking her rage and nuttiness out of Facebook. Take a gander:

 
"IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn’t have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor but hell purposfully refinance Kim Cobains Property i bought her cash outright, for the 12th time using a phony address due to some fuck up on some Bogus “ART FORM OF THE CH 13” R TODD used, leavng KIM COBAINS PROPERTY REPOS…SESED< “you have an hour to get your things” wtf did Kim Cobain do to YOU… so its best to never tell let alone kiss and trell i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k.

...britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO."

So everyone's stealing from Courtney, and she thinks Britney was molested by her dad. Yikes. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen, but really? Do they really wanna deal with her crazy ass in court? And why is she still bitching about Edward Norton?


By the way, Patrick and I were blasting Courtney's (well, Hole's) cd Live Through This on our way into the city today. Nothing beats singing (screaming?) "I'm Miss World, somebody kill me..." at the top of your lungs with your best friend.

Good times. Good times.

Amy Winehouse's New Boobies - Sorta NSFW.

Amy's mighty proud of her new "girls".

Amy Winehouse seems intent on making sure the entire world gets a good peek at her new baby's bottom implants. She's still so pin-thin that, well, they look just hard and awful...and I think she's going to tip over, face first.

Rumors are swirling around that she got the implants for Blaaaaaake and that the two are back together. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of "2009, the Year of Celebrity Deaths". 

Oh, Amy. 

Pamela Anderson loves child slaves...oh yeah, and animals, too. Thanks, PETA!

WHAT the goddamnhell is going ON here?

(And I sure hope I don't see what I think I see...)

I didn't used to really get on Pammy's case all that much, but she's been cruisin' for it lately. First with her dumbass "fashion" show in New Zealand last week--'member? She was wearin' a sheet. An effing sheet. Then she dropped it, because NONE of us have seen her rock-hard chest lumps before. Ooooh. Controversial. Pssssh.

Now Ms. Hep-C America decided to treat one of her employees' children as a slave-prop during the Hollywood Style Awards.

via PageSix.com 

"One guest told Page Six, "People were genuinely shocked. She didn't even have her own seat and had to sit at Pamela's feet, where people nearly stepped on her to get to the stage. The girl looked uncomfortable and kept tugging on her dress to get her attention, but Pamela waved her away.

"Pamela was telling people it was her daughter," the attendee said. "And, after she presented David LaChapelle with an award onstage, she shouted 'daughter' in front of the whole auditorium, and slapped her leg like she was calling a puppy. The girl rushed up to grab her train."

Adelaide is the daughter of makeup artist to the stars Sharon Gault, who was believed to be at the event.

A spokesman for the Child Labor Coalition said, "I would want to speak to the child to ask her if it is something she willingly did. Nine is very young, and an awards ceremony is a long time for a child to be out holding a dress."

That nine year old little girl looks sad and humiliated...which I'm sure she was.  You know, if Pammy had been using a little poodle for this shit, the lovely folks at PETA would have flipped right out. But since Crazy-Face Pam is a devout member of PETA, I guess they agree that this was all in good fun.

Prince! What the goddamnhell are you wearing at Paris Fashion Week?

"Don't go for second best, baby..."--

Oh, wait.

Doesn't Prince totally look like he's doing a street performance of Madonna's "Express Yourself" in Paris yesterday? Yeah. Here he is headed to a Fendi party or something. Pssh.

WHAT the goddamnhell is Prince Rogers Nelson wearing? The neckpiece looks like it was left over from a Real Housewives reunion show (you pick which one--I can't make a valid decision--Orange County maybe?) The rest of his get-up is obviously from Kohl's Half-Price Itty Bitty Lingerie Department.

Oh, Prince.

Two Lohan posts in one day. (Eyeroll.)

ALI LOHAN is FIFTEEN years old!!

Is that Ali's dealer babysitter behind her?

When will someone--I don't care who--call The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (1-800-THE-LOST) to help Ali Lohan out of her mess of a life?

Michael and Dina Lohan are shit for parents. Look at this FIFTEEN YEAR OLD daughter of theirs in Paris with their other sad daughter, Lindsay a couple of nights ago. ForpitySAKE.

How long before one or both of these girls end up dead in some stranger's apartment?

And Lindsay? Don't count on becoming iconic like your beloved Marilyn Monroe.

 

 Lindsay's trying to tell us something by 

displaying her arm like this, if you ask me.

 

We can see that you're still cutting yourself. NOT cool, man. Oh, in case you're wondering? The tattoo is a quote of Marilyn's: The wording, "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle," is surrounded by yellow, blue and green stars.

Tick tock....

 

 

What the goddamnhell is Courtney Love doing with Hugo Chavez??

"Rrrrrico. Chavez."

What???

This picture makes me sick on so many levels. Courtney crawled out of her coffin to attend crazy-face Oliver Stone's film about Taco Bell, "South of the Border". (That is what it's about, right?) And look who she ended up with--Hugo-Freakin' Chavez, that crazy dictator from Venezuela. I'm surprised the earth didn't implode.

via NY Daily News:

"Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday's screening of Oliver Stone's new documentary, "South of the Border." The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

"It was the third wink that sold me," Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas!"  WHATthegoddamnhell????

I'm busy flipping through the Yellow Pages in search of the nearest vomitorium. Repeat after me: Oliver Stone. Courtney Love. Hugo Chavez.

Last one to puke is a rotten egg.

OY! Happy Birthday, Liam Gallagher - You Dumbass, You.

Liam Gallagher is 37 today

In my best Marilyn Monroe voice: Happy birthday to yoooou...Happy birthday dear butthole....

Oh Liam. My favorite fighty-dog. I still love Oasis, whether they have broken up or not. Did you actually hear why the Gallagher brothers were fighting this time--which resulted in a "break- up" before a big show in Paris.


via: Post24.com


"We hear a massive fight broke up between brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher after Liam joked that Noel was not the real father of his daughter Anais, after a huge argument between the two, Noel stormed off saying Liam's comment was unforgivable.

The brothers are famous for their heated arguments, but this time it looks like it really has gone too far, as the band held a press conference yesterday before getting into their private jet and apologised to fans who had paid for tickets for their European tour."


Here are a few of my favorite quotes from my favorite a-hole, Liam:


“Everyone knows that if you've got a brother, you're going to fight.”


“Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it.”


“Discipline? I don't know the meaning of the word.” - Liam Gallagher of Oasis


I swear. These two brats remind me of Alex and Hunter about 10 years ago. Alex would torture a then 9-year old Hunter til he flipped right out. I came home from work at Nordstrom one night to find Alex grinning that "he's smilin' at me MEAN" smile that drove Hunter out of his ever-lovin' mind. 

"Hunter chased me around the house with a knife saying he was gonna 'effing kill' me", was Alex's side of the story.


Like any other good, wholesome mother, I stifled my laughter for about five minutes, then gave Hunter the talk.

"Now, Honey. You shouldn't chase your brother with a knife, mmkay?" (I could hear that "Butthead" laugh of Alex's in the hallway as I chatted with the little brother. HUH HUH  HUH HUH)



I love that story. Isn't it just precious?

Megan Fox + her movie "Jennifer's Body" = One big fat BOMB.

Karma's a bitch, Megan--and so are you.

I know a lot of fanboys are in what basement dwellers describe as "love" with Megan Fox, but it seems no one else is after the weekend numbers for Jennifer's Body have been tallied.

The whole idea for this movie is puzzling to me--mean chicks in high school (already lived through that, thanks), boyfriend stealing/killing/eating(?) and two hot chicks making out. The latter seems lukewarm at best, because who needs to shell out the $15 to go to the theater (I still want candy, y'all) just to see tame girl on girl action? 

I'll say it again: Megan Fox should just do porn and do us all a personal favor. She'd make a shitload of money for doing what she probably does best, the public would get what they really want from this crazy bitch and everyone would be happy.

It's called WIN-WIN, people.

Megan Fox is a nightmare of a hot bitch.

Megan Fox is a crazy bitch...

but she's a fierce, crazy bitch.

Self-proclaimed crazy chick, Megan Fox takes center-stage in the 4th anniversary issue of Wonderland Magazine. (Yeah, I've never heard of it either, and I'm damn sure they don't have it at Atkinson's Market in Sun Valley, Idaho. Did I mention we're on vaca--I mean, HOLIDAY, Sweeties?)

ANYpretentiousness. I just can't figure out how I feel about Megan Fox. She's crazy gorgeous and has a body that won't quit...but there's that little girl voice of hers that is hard to take. It doesn't go with the rest of the package. But she is nuts about Marilyn Monroe (see that horrible tattoo on her forearm--nothing says Classy with a Capital C like a forearm tat on a chick, oui?). Here's a little bit of her interview in that magazine most of us haven't heard of:

On what the fuck's wrong with her:
"I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is."

On her new movie Jennifer's Body:
"I think it's really about how fucked up and scary girls are. Girls are fucking nightmares."

On being a product:
"Part of my product is being outrageous and outspoken so even when I'm not being that way I'm going to be sold that way."

On Michael Bay:
"[Michael Bay] wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for."

Hmmmm. I have Buckcherry's Crazy Bitch going through my head after reading that...and I'm sure Megan would take that as a compliment.

That Duggar Woman is Pregnant Again.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, gooood. I don't know why the news of Michelle Duggar getting pregnant again annoys me so much, but it really does ("it was a surprise!"), The very sound of her voice makes me angry.

via HuffPo:

"The Duggar family of TLC fame just announced that they are expecting their 19th child. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar currently have 18 children ranging from 0 to 21 years old and a grandchild on the way, making it pretty clear that their kids intend to follow in their pregnancy footsteps.

The Duggars live in northwest Arkansas and can be seen on TLC's hit "17 Kids and Counting" "18 Kids and Counting" "19 Kids and Counting." Assuming they make it to 20 kids and stop, and assuming each of their kids have the same amount of children (which are both big 'ifs') how long until those with Duggar blood take over America?"

I'm getting more and more creeped out by Michelle and Jim's cult, er, family. The matchy-matchy clothing, vacant stares, goody-goody appearances...

GAAAAAH....the Duggar Compund.

Horrifying.

Oh GURRLL. Oprah's Got Whitney.

Oprah. Will she ask Whitney the tough questions?

The Bobby Years

Almost...but not quite.

HELL YEAH.
THIS is the Whitney we want back.

Oprah Winfrey will start a new season on Sept. 14 with a Whitney Houston interview.

Winfrey calls it "the most anticipated music interview of the decade." Hmmm. Is it, though? Will Oprah ask what we really want to know about Whitney and her crazy-ass behavior for the past 10 years? I almost think Anderson Cooper would ask the tough questions...but that's why Whitney's going with Oprah.

On The Oprah Show, Whitney will receive applause, praise and maybe even get to sing (lipsynch? Have you heard her new single?).

You bet I'll watch it, but I don't expect any huge revelations during Oprah's big coup.

Paula Abdul will NOT be returning to "American Idol"

"Lisshen here, I worth a LOT.
FOX can just pay me in boozzzh, mmkay?"

What??? The powers that be decided to keep the sober one?? No!! Who will Simon grope without fear of a sexual harrassment lawsuit now? Oh, that's right. RYAN. But we won't be allowed to see that fun.

via the Associated Content (who??):

"...while everybody seemed to be signing new contracts, Paula Abdul seemed to be getting snubbed. Her manager said as much, publicly chiding the other side for not treating his client with more respect (read: giving her what she wanted = more money). Contract negotiations on American Idol became headline news with even the 3-year deal signed by executive producer, Ken Warwick, receiving headlines. Of course, much of it was to highlight the fact that American Idol's "nice" (read: drunk and lookin' for cute boys) judge might not return after eight years on the show."

Here's my theory: She'll get a last-minute contract giving her waaay too much money, but she'll say she "just couldn't turn her back on the kids!".

Wagers, anyone?

OY! Posh! Back away from the Loubs!!

OhforPITYsake, Woman!

Really, Victoria?? Do you not see how crazy this looks? There comes a day, and I believe it has arrived, for you to put away the Christian Louboutin stilettos. You can ween yourself off...start by wearing proper attire to the playground, mmkay? (See Gwen Stefani at the park with her kids.)

You look like a dork and someone really should hurl a dodgeball at you.

Lindsay Lohan in Spanish Vogue - Dressed Up Like Her Mom?

Oh, forpitySAKE.

[annoyed SIGH]

I would love to be the one to shake Lindsay Lohan and scream, "YOU'RE NOT MARILYN MONROE!", but I know she'd just wipe the coke rez from her nose and stomp off on her Huffy bike. Jesus H. this is getting to be really annoying. Here's Stupid again, posing as Marilyn for Spanish Vogue.

Tan fea y tonta. (My smarty-pants husband speaks Spanish, ya'll!)

First of all, bitch looks EXACTLY like her nutbar of a mother, Dina. They're the same age, you know. It's some sort of a miracle or curse, depending on who you ask.

Britney's Gonna Be Jewish, Ya'll!!

Did Brit leave all of her bras back home?

Jesus Christ. Brit-Brit may be converting to Judaism for her boyfriend/agent Jason (TRAINWRECK) Trawick, according to The Sun:

The singer

has been spotted wearing a necklace with the Star of David symbol on during her world tour.

She has even recruited a rabbi to help her study the faith.

A source said: "Britney wants to try the religion Jason was brought up with."

I'm pretty sure she just likes the sparkly star thingy on her necklace.

Joe Jackson: Monster, Money Grubber, Satan!

Mr. Inappropriate.
Hey. So THAT'S where my eyebrow
pencil ran off to--nice mustache.

BOOM. Twice in one day I am able to use the term "money grubber"!

I tell ya what, Joe Jackson is a piece of work. He's already rubbing his dirty hands together by eyeballing Michael's kids as his next paycheck. He was on "Good Morning America" this morning, seemingly preparing the world for his next big thing.

"Today in a Good Morning America interview with 79-year-old family patriarch Joe Jackson, interviewer Chris Connelly asks whether he sees any performer potential in Michael's three children. Joe's response? "I keep watching Paris, she maybe wants to do something, you know. And Blanket, he can really dance, that's what they're saying. He can really dance."

First of all, you dumbshit, YOU were left out of Michael's Will for a reason, and your wife, KATHERINE was named Guardian of those poor kids--not YOUR dumb ass.

Why isn't anyone in that family speaking up about how incredibly inappropriate Joe is behaving? Are they all still so terrified of that old man that they won't stand up to him?

Someone needs to get a restraining order again Grandpa Grubbymits and FAST. The last thing those little kids need is to be locked in the basement for 10 hours a day, while that asshole watches them rehearse--with a belt in his hand.

Oh no. Britney Spears getting closer to another 51-50 by the looks of her hair and boots.

The "Crazy Countdown" has begun, ya'll.

Oh Britney, NO! What's going on, Babygurrl? C'mon, tell Mama. I know that ya'll ain't happy when you go brunette, so somethin's up. Are ya taahhrd from all that tourin'? Are ya mad that K-Fed's gotten, ummm, chub-chub? (That has nuttin' to do with you, darlin'.) Is Daddy Jamie all up in yer grill?

Tell Mama. Tell her. I'm here for ya, Sugar Paah.

Infomercial Spokesman BILLY MAYS(!!!!!) Has Died

BILLY MAYS DIED!!

Holy crap. BILLY MAYS has died. (He yelled in every infomercial, I thought it appropriate to yell his name). Can a dude yell himself to death? Sorry.

The Associated Press is reporting:

TAMPA, Fla. – Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. He was 50.

Tampa police said Mays was found unresponsive by his wife Sunday morning. A fire rescue crew pronounced him dead at 7:45 a.m. It was not immediately clear how he died. He said he was hit on the head when an airplane he was on made a rough landing Saturday, and Mays' wife told investigators the TV personality didn't feel well before he went to bed that night."

Hey--I bought OxiClean for the first time in my life yesterday. Oooh.