Thursday, April 30, 2009


Today is a rough day. A friend of Hunter's committed suicide a couple days ago. I found out last night, and had to tell Hunter the horrific news. We had known this boy since he and Hunter attended preschool together at the age of four. His name was Destry.
Destry was always smiling. I remember him spending the night at our house when the boys were young. He was so bright, sunny and polite. I can't say I kept up on his life throughout the years, but the last time I saw him (a few months back) I told him he looked exactly the same as he did in preschool. He threw his head back, laughed and gave me a big hug.
Are the signs of utter despair always noticeable? Are there always signs? Are there always cries for help? I've seen deep depression and felt it myself. I'm not hearing anything about this with Destry, which is making it all the more difficult to comprehend. I guess I tend to look for an explanation for events like these. A reason.
I just can't imagine what Destry's family is going through right now. My heart is very heavy.
Please take a moment to read Destry's memorial.
God bless you, Destry.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Was Right About Sean Penn. Complete A-Hole.

Nice brave face, Robin.
Oscar Night with Best A-Hole Winner.

This must be the Week of the A-hole Husband, no? First we have Mel Gibson parading his pregnant girlfriend around at the Australian premiere of Wolverine, now we get news of Sean Penn filing for divorce again from Robin Wright Penn. (Hmmm...Mel's soon-to-be ex is named Robyn. Odd.) Remember how Sean couldn't bring himself to kiss (let alone acknowledge) Robin after winning the Best Actor Oscar earlier this year? I've never liked this guy and after reading all the crap about him and his behavior, it's justified. Remember, too, all of the Blind Items that were obviously about him? (See link.)

So. According to E! Online:

"...court documents, Penn filed for "legal separation with minor children" last Friday. The duo has two children together, 18-year-old daughter Dylan and 15-year-old son Hopper Jack. (No explanation was given as to why the 18-year-old is listed as a minor, but she just had her birthday on April 13, suggesting the filing may have been in the works for a bit.)
Per the Marin County Superior Court filing, Penn requested a termination in the court's jurisdiction to award spousal support to Wright Penn. He is also seeking joint custody of the kids.

Here's more: Natalie Portman, who seems to have a golden image in Hollywood for being so full of "integrity", was caught making out with Sean Penn at the Sunset Towers hotel in Hollywood.

Penn and Natalie Portman

More from Star Magazine:

“They went to a bank of elevators that only goes to the spa or to private rooms,” an eyewitness tells Star. “They came back about 45 minutes later, and that’s when I saw them making out.”“There’s a door outside of the hotel’s Tower Bar that has a bridge to the terrace, so it’s semi-private,” the eyewitness explains. “I used that path to get to the restroom, and when I came back, I had to go through some curtains — and that’s when I interrupted Sean and Natalie! When they saw me, they were startled and quickly composed themselves.”

Of COURSE we have Lindsay involved with this sleaze (prior to her break-up with Sam), and, I know Lindsay has issues, which make me think Penn totally took advantage of her vulnerabilities. (I know. I have a soft spot for Lindsay. Don't judge.)

"Though Lindsay Lohan claims she and girlfriend Samantha Ronson are doing fine as always, she’s still flirting it up with men, including Sean Penn. According to Fox News, Lindsay recently got super close to Penn at a party, going so far as to “nuzzle” him. Never before has “nuzzle” sounded like such a dirty word to me. And she seems to have done it with all the class and subtly you’d expect of a Lohan. (Hey now!! What about HIM?)

Lindsay Lohan likes Milk. Anyway, she likes the star of Gus Van Sant’s longish take on the life and times of gay activist Harvey Milk.

At Sean Penn’s private dinner for Milk last week at downtown/far west eatery The John Dory — in which the former Jeff Spicoli has invested — Lohan showed up sans partner Samantha Ronson. Sources say she immediately sidled up to Penn, who took her under his wing, so to speak. “They nuzzled,” says my observer, before taking off for an after party somewhere in the bowels of Chelsea, no doubt."

View the court filing.

Oh Robin. I hope you take care of yourself...and your kids. You deserve better, and thirteen years is a long time to put up with that pig.

Today's Blind Item!

"This over-30 actress is not known for having the greatest taste in men. Well, it turns out that her taste in home d├ęcor is even worse. Although she is working with professional interior design folks, she keeps derailing the agreed-upon plan by insisting that they incorporate some of her really ugly personal items. The decorators are grumbling behind the scenes that the actress has the taste of a ten year old, and 'we wouldn't be surprised if she asks for a Hello Kitty kitchen'. Just proves that money can't buy you taste." [BlindGossip]

My guess? Drew Barrymore. Ex-husband #1 a bartender (marriage lasted 8 months); second marriage to weirdo Tom Green also ended in divorce. Off and on dating the Mac Dude.

Drew just seems a bit "off", so this decorating issue wouldn't be a shock.

Mel Gibson Shows Off Pregnant Girlfriend

Mel and Oksana "Magdalene"

So. How long before Mel asks (read: pays off) the Catholic Church for an annulment from his wife of a thousand years, Robyn? (Listen, I was raised and tortured by the Catholic Church. I'm allowed to say this stuff.)

Mel's babymama better understand that he's going to lose half of his shit in this divorce. Homes, money...everything. I bet she's praying for twins, at the very least.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Twin Horsies for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Instead of a Divorce

Yes, indeed. I'm gonna beat this horse again. SJP and Matthew are gonna need a bigger STABLE! They are adding to their HERD! I've got a million of 'em, folks...


"Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick are expecting twin girls born to a surrogate, People magazine reported on Tuesday.

Sex and the City star Parker, 44, and actor husband Broderick, 47, already have a six-year-old son together, James Wilkie.

People quoted a representative as saying the couple were "happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed."

Broderick and Parker married in 1997. "

I love that they anounced this just before the Kentucky Derby next weekend. It's always about pimping your new project, isn't it, SJP??

Separated at Birth...

Gollum. Bleh.
OhdearLawd. We seem to have an anorexia-theme today. LINDSAY!! Honestly! These pictures are NOT going to help your career. I know for a fact they will help you become the Pro-Ana SpokesSTICK, though.

Nicely done.

Today's Blind Item!!! Soooo Easy.

"Which messy tabloid favorite who thinks she's a rock-style icon (actually she just married shrewdly) is known for calling journalists in a pill-haze and ratting out her celebrity friends? She has some especially good stories about her famous pals The Shoplifter and also The Godmother Of Her Child."

Rock Icon Husband (Kurt Cobain) + Shoplifter (Winona Ryder) + Godmother (of Frances Bean Cobain, Drew Barrymore) = COURTNEY LOVE.

And I thought I sucked at math.

Keira Knightley Doth Protest Too Much

What's worse than a Lollipop Head?
An effing PEZ Head.

There's a myth going around that bulimics are not skinny. I lived with them at Paloma Picasso (aka Casa Palmera; Patrick prefers the other name, so I use it). Now granted, bulimics cannot barf up all of the calories they consume, so either Keira's a BIG FAT LIAR, or she's a BIG FAT LIAR, one of the two. In my "professional" opinion (ahem), I believe Keira is both an anorexic and bulimic. Here she is, over-justifying her eating habits:

"Keira Knightley loves eating chips.
The slender actress says enjoying big meals is one of her favourite pastimes, particularly if they feature fattening French Fries or pasta.
She admitted: “I’m a big foodie. In my family life, all good things revolve around the dinner table. My mum’s cooking is great. We have big dinners, and big everything. There’s nothing like a really good chip, a really crunchy, good chip. And I love pasta. I make Bolognese with tons and tons of Parmesan cheese.”

Despite enjoying cooking, Keira admits her kitchen disasters have occasionally reduced her to tears.

She told Australia’s Marie Claire magazine: “The other night, a friend was teaching me how to make an eggplant bake. I brought it out of the oven in this beautiful bowl - and dropped it. It smashed all over the kitchen, and I burst into tears.”

“But 10 minutes later we were laughing about it. I mean, if I were Nigella Lawson, I would have licked it off the floor very seductively as opposed to bursting into tears.”
I found a website called (odd name?), and this is what they had to say about bulimia:
"Bulimics can hide their issue better than anorexics or binge eaters because nothing looks obviously wrong in your body, so people never or can't suspect. But the thing is that bulimia doesn't always work the way you think it will. You can get bloated.
You can't always get ALL the calories out. You lose track of what you ate and what you purged because you've done it so many times on one day.

Towards the end of the day you're tired, you can't think straight, your jaw and throat ache. You might even be worried that you tore your esophagus because you thrust your fingers or toothbrush too hard down your throat that day. Your teeth are starting to get brittle, and your stomach aches like someone has a vice grip on it because you took one too many laxatives this time. It's an ugly and shameful reality of yours. No one knows. At least that is what you believe. "
Keira is going to ruin herself physically and emotionally with this kind of thought process and behavior. Believe me, I know.
Now? It's lunchtime.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Today's Blind Item!

Blindfold Pictures, Images and Photos

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?
The question should be "who is this NOT?" My first thought was Mimoo Carey, then Jessica Simpson (although, the term "songbird" is questionable) since there's the big, fat rumor that Tony Romo won't marry her until she stops drinking...then I went old-school: Diana Ross? Liza? Whitney Houston? OhgoodLord. Waaay too many to include here.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

My Own "Sans Fard" (See Latest French Elle Magazine) Dare--WHERE ARE YOUR PICS?

Hello? I'm still waiting for YOUR pictures "sans fard" (without make-up, slap, whatever you choose to call it), like the French Elle Magazine is promoting this month, so I can post 'em here! I have a couple--and one from a lovely bloke "avec fard", that I WILL post.

What are ya'll waitin' fer?

**UPDATE** Still waiting for a few more! C'MON!

Mel Gibson is Going to Lose His Shirt for Losing His Pants

Typical dumbass

This kind of story is so stale: Aging dude, successful career, tons of kids with a lovely wife whom he been married to forEVER, cheats (add getting a DUI, spews anti-Semitic slurs, calls a cop Sugar Tits, makes a movie about Jesus...) and now the other woman is pregnant. Awesome. I already blabbed about this crap last week. The pregnancy is just the icing on the cake. Mel Gibson's wife Robyn is gonna kick his ass in oh, so many ways. About $45 million in cash and prizes, to be exact.

Bono? This is what I'm referring to in the post below. (Because I know he reads my blog! Heh.) You better straighten up and fly right, because I predict THIS WILL BE YOU soon enough. We're all watching and waiting, my friend.

Today's Blind Item!

From Blind Vice, E!Online:

"I know what you're thinking: Is anybody in Hollywood straight? Skanky David Duchovny is. Brad Pitt maybe. I think that might be it!

But seriously, the town's full of pooftahs. Get friggin' used to it. Always has been that way—always will be. It's a community full of creative types, babe, that's just the way it goes!

Take Saucy Bossy, for ince. He's made a living by exuding the easy, cool side of powerful in his acting, his looks, his walk, all his endeavors. Ya know, he's just one of those handsome, effortless figures who command authority, with just a touch of kink on the side.

Well, doll-babes, I'm here to tell you...

It's a helluva lot more than just a damn "touch" for Saucy's libidinous bent!

He sneaks dudes right and left into wherever he's hanging, whether it's his house in L.A. or whatever hotel room he happens to be partying in while on location.

Oh, and all those (female) big-butt babes Bossy's always feeling up in public, at events, in clubs, etc.? "It's all an act," said a member of S.B.'s management team, which is terrified somebody's gonna catch Saucy getting vroom service from the guys.

Jeez, I swear.

It's one thing for a single guy to live a lie like this. But should a dad being doing this? What a horrible message of deceit this sends to Bossy's kid! (I mean, it's only a matter of time before the kiddo discovers pops is a down-low kinda man).

And It Ain't: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Denzel Washington"

This is TWO dudes, if you ask me. P Diddy (those swanky Ciroc vodka ads?) and/or Jamie Foxx. Word.

Celebrities I REFUSE to Discuss...

Apparently, there is a show on MTV called, The Hills. It's been on for years. I've. Never. Watched. It. This pseudo-reality series has two "stars" who were married over the weekend and I really could not give a shit. I find this couple to be a complete waste of skin. They call the paps for photo-ops every time they go to Taco Bell or a gynocologist appointment, all for our interest and viewing pleasure.

Hell to the NO. I won't discuss those a-holes, nor will I post photos of their retarded wedding. They are posted all over the "internets", so I know you can find them somewhere.

Now I know there times where I say "I said I would never talk about so-and-so", but I mean it this time.

For reals, ya'll.

Salma Hayek Gets a REAL Wedding

Salma and that rich French dude

LOS ANGELES (AP) — "Salma Hayek and her husband have tied the knot — again.

Hayek spokeswoman Jillian Fowkes said Sunday in Los Angeles that the Mexican-born actress and French magnate Francois-Henri Pinault renewed their wedding vows Saturday in a ceremony at Venice's La Fenice opera house.

Hayek and Pinault originally were married in a small civil ceremony in Paris last Valentine's Day.

This time, the couple made it a weekend-long celebration, starting with a cocktail party at Punta della Dogana, an art museum owned by the groom's father, Francois Pinault.

Among those attending were actresses Charlize Theron, Penelope Cruz and Ashley Judd, plus U2 frontman Bono and Vogue editor Anna Wintour, as well as former French President Jacques Chirac."

Yaaaawn. What I really want are the details. I want to know why Salma left Rich French Dude about a year ago. What was that all about? What brought them back together? What's their pre-nup like?

Odd, yet nice (?) that Salma's ex-boyfriend,

Ed Norton was invited.

"Penna Lope" Cruz
Is that really Ashley Judd??

Paul Hewson, aka Bono

Oh, and BONO? You better be thinking good and hard about Mel Gibson's eff-ups right about now, or else you, too, will lose one-half of your fortune to your lovely wife. I have a feeling YOU are up to the no good, just like Mel.

You've been warned.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

An Evening With Women...Crashed by StupidParisHilton

Christina? Wow.
Cybill Shepherd and that idiot.

Cybill again with her gorgeous (and lesbian)
daughter, Clementine.

Okay. I understand why Christina Aguilara would be supporting and performing at An Evening with Women, held in the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center--Gay Icon AND she wears more make-up than a drag queen. I understand Cybill Shepherd's support, seeing that her (stunning!) daughter, Clementine is gay. But WHAT the goddamnhell is effing Paris Hilton doing there?? Good Lord. Is there an open bar that she won't crash? Why do people keep letting her ass IN to these events? I'm getting irrationally pissed off about this whole affair.
ABOUT THE EVENT (via their website),

"An Evening with Women is an annual event, previously known as Women’s Night, that raises much-needed funds for the women-specific services of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. This year’s event, held at the posh International Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, will be steeped in rock ‘n’ roll chic and include a hosted reception, dinner, star-studded show and silent/live auction of unique, exclusive and exotic items."
Oh yeah, don't forget the $300 ticket price. Eeek.

Bea Arthur Dies at 86

Bea Arthur, Dead at 86.


"Beatrice Arthur, the tall, deep-voiced actress whose razor-sharp delivery of comedy lines made her a TV star in the hit shows "Maude" and "The Golden Girls" and who won a Tony Award for the musical "Mame," died Saturday. She was 86."

Oh dear Bea Arthur. Yes, of course we all loved her work on "Maude" back in the day and of course, "The Golden Girls." Patrick and I had our own Bea Arthur jokes. For instance, we always refer to Banana Republic as the BR-thur" and we called a particular gay man--a sort of friend of ours, (who will go un-named) who wore big ol' 70's cowl neck sweaters, "Maude".

Rest in peace, Bea.

Today's Blind Item - Snotty Tween Edition

"He's just faking. Don't give him anything." Words from the mouth of this A-list tweener to her friends as they passed a homeless man sitting on the ground. Oh, she then spent about $1000 on food for dinner. Nice. "

via CDaN
Lovely. This could be ANY of those little snips. Ideas, ya'll?

Friday, April 24, 2009

"Healthy Choice" Commercials With Julia Louis Dreyfus

Julia Louis Dreyfus and Jane Lynch?? HI-LARE. No wonder these ads are so funny--they are directed by Christopher Guest.

Bloody genius.

What the Goddamnhell is Beyonce` Wearing NOW??

THIS is why my eyes are on fire!

We all remember the definition of "hideous", yes? All together now: THE HOUSE OF DEREON. Beyonce's mom, Tina Knowles just keeps pumping out the crappiest CRAP, doesn't she? Someday, Beyonce will have a meltdown and tell her just how gawd-awful her designs are. In the meantime, I get to to claw my eyes from the itchy/pain this is causing.

Here's Bey at the premiere of her equally gawd-awful movie, Obsessed. All I know is she says a line that is verrry close to my favorite Britney lyric, "I got yo crazy". Psssh. This movie will Dis. Uh. Peer.

Happy Birthday, Alex!!!

Alex, admiring his "handywork"?
Dayna ready to pop with Felix, last July.
Model boy
Seafoam green eyes.

Alex is 25 years old today! Whaaaa??? It seems like yesterday I was in the hospital, looking down at this baby ("look at the baby on that nose!") trying to come to terms with the fact that I had a BOY, and not a GIRL, like my doctor told me. I fell in love HARD with this tiny man.

Alex has become a man I truly admire. He adores his wife and is an amazing dad. He puts his family it should be, I know, but it doesn't always work that way these days. I love his sense of humor--Felix is well on his way, too. In our family, it's all about The Funny. Dayna is hilarious and the two of them are just fantastic parents.

Enough with the Gushfest. Happy Birthday, Boy! Mama loves you!

Sam and Linds Together Again?!?

Lindsay's skinniness at Sam's Clubhouse!

Please, oh please, oh PUHLEEEZ let this be true:

"Seen here arriving at Samantha Ronson's house, Lindsay Lohan might be back in the good graces of her gargoyle love, according to Us Magazine:
It's the same mansion where Lohan, 22, used to live with Ronson, 30, -- before the DJ had the locks changed following their breakup and Chateau Marmont blowout photographers described Lohan as appearing "calm...[but] happy." They spent about six hours together.That same afternoon, Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated."

You're goddamned right, "it's complicated". Did you SEE Lindsay on "Ellen" yesterday? HOT FIDGETY MESS. OhmyLord, Lindsay was blabbing endlessly about her, um, "career", the tabloids (and how she's "sooo not interesting"--I beg to differ) and her surprise (?) break-up with Samantha Ronson. Enjoy the nut-fest:

My guess is that Sam saw this and realized just how much she missed all of the intellectual discussions she and Linds used to have--that, and the Crazy with a capital C.

Today's Blind Item!

"Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [NYDN]

I keep hearing/reading that this one is Travolta. Yeeesh.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Howard Stern's Beyonce` Tape a Hoax?

That booty is at least the real thing, ya'll.

According to The Huffington Post via TMZ, the whole Beyonce`/Today Show blow-up was a hoax. Whatever. It's still totally hilarious...and sounds exactly like her. I'm just sayin'.

"Howard Stern's Beyonce audio was A HOAX.

Beyonce has officially been cleared of all bad singing charges -- the atrocious supposed "board mix" of her performance on "The Today Show" last year was altered after all.

Just as Mathew Knowles told us, the audio clip that many people believed was leaked from "Today" was indeed a fake. "
Again, still super-funny.

Baby Dancin' Time to Amy Winehouse!

Early mornin' clubbin' at Mim's house!
"...he walks away, the sun goes down--"
Felix is worn OUT.

Stephen took James the boxer to daycare, so I could have some peace with Felix today. HA! Peace? We turned up the iPod and danced to Amy Winehouse's "Tears Dry on Their Own" on repeat in our own Club Baby this morning. He loves this song so bad! He totally sings, as you can see by the emotion in his chubby face. Man, clubbing can wear a baby man OUT. He just collapsed asleep after much singing and dancing. Oh, Felix and Mim.
Here's Amy before she became the trainwreck she is now...LOVED her.

And yeah, "sans fard" in my jammies. Good Lord. Apparently, I've lost ALL shame.

The neighborhood stray cats are in heat...oh wait. It's just BEYONCE`.

Oh, guurrrrrl.

My ears are bleeding. I'm not kidding. Gushing down my neck, ruining my nightie. (Yeah, it's 10:30, big DEAL!)

Howard Stern got ahold of a "raw board feed" of Beyonce` "singing" (?) on the Today Show. Here's what happens: a performer gets onstage out in Rockefeller Plaza in front of the crowd. It looks live, but it's very staged. The artist "sings", but what the TV and live audiences hear is a vocal recording. Someone must have it out for Bey. I'm sure Jay-Z will pull this hot mess from YouTube fairly soon, so watch it while you can.

Lindsay is Skinnyshopping Again.

I think instead of eyewear, Lindsay should be
shopping for a bra and a burger.
But, that's just me.

I KNOW. There is a lot of Lindsay being talked about here lately, but wow. Girlfriend is looking ghastly here as she shopped with her 15/35 year-old sister, Ali at Positive Eye On Optometry on Melrose Avenue in L.A. yesterday.

I hear she's not all that interested in performing in Peepshow after all--but could it be that the producers aren't all that interested in a skellabones with deflated waterballons headlining their sexy revue in Las Vegas?

Today's (Gross) Blind Item.

"Three directors. All A list. Each has had multiple #1 movies. Well I have written about them in this space before and some of their really bad behavior. This one though might even top what I wrote before. Last summer one of them took a trip to Thailand where he enjoyed the services of several women who make their living the old fashioned way. He enjoyed one of them so much that he arranged for her to get a visa so she could intern at his production company. Of course the only thing she was doing was continuing what she had been doing for him back in Thailand. Well, of course the director had to share the good news with the other two. They promptly did the same hing. After three months, they send the women back to Thailand and get brand new ones. If they did the same trick here, one of the women might spill to a tabloid, but with these women they don't have to worry about it. Or so they think." [CDaN]

This is some sort of disgusting behavior. It may be even illegal--prostitution? Human trafficking? (GASP! Hollywood a-holes involved in ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES? Whaaaa?)

My guesses: Quentin Taratino and Oliver Stone have certain, um, preferences in their women. And Brett Ratner, Michael Bay and some other sleazes could be #3.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

CONGRATS! New Baby for Foo Fighter, Dave Grohl!

Dave Grohl, daughter Violet and wife Jordyn

The Associated Press, April 21, 2009

NEW YORK (AP) -- Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl and his wife, Jordyn, have welcomed their second daughter. And, Grohl says, she likes to make noise.

The 40-year-old rocker says Harper Willow Grohl was born on April 17. She is 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 20 inches long and Grohl says "loud as hell."

He says Harper Willow is named after his great-uncle Harper Bonebrake. Grohl and his wife also have a 3-year-old daughter, Violet. The couple married in 2003.

Darling name. I love Dave Grohl and I love Foo Fighters. Stephen and I wanted to see them last summer, but their show was too close to Dayna's due date with Felix, so we didn't get tickets. Someday, though. Someday.

In the meantime, here's a kick-ass video for ya'll!

Today's Blind Item: Follow-Up!!

"This celebrity couple's pre-nuptial agreement required the wife to stay in the relationship for a certain amount of time. However, the Stepford Wife's law firm has decided that it may be difficult to impossible for the husband to enforce this. It seems that the wife knows much more than she should about the husband's long-time and very personal relationship with another high-profile man. She is using that knowledge to get her sentence reduced and to to gain custody over the couple's kid/s.

It's still not Nicole Kidman." [BlindGossip]

Holy shit. This is the second blind item about this couple. It's sounding more and more like Tom and Katie--and she has been looking really miserable and dowdy lately. YOUR thoughts? And who might the other "high-profile man" be--Will Scientolo-Smith?

Lindsay Lohan to Mel B: "Um, are you accepting applications?"

Lindsay w/her finger and
two pair of ugly shoes
Linds, the Producer of "Peepshow",
Mel B. and her hubby, so-and-so.

Popsugar UK is reporting:

"Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen and Stephen Belafonte were amongst the guests at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas to attend the opening of PEEPSHOW, Melanie Brown's new burlesque-style show. Mel performs alongside fellow Dancing with the Stars alumnus Kelly Monaco, and although neither of them appear topless, the showgirls surrounding them do. Lindsay apparently told Mel she is "back on men" and left with a mystery man at midnight. This follows reports of Lindsay flirting with Leonardo DiCaprio at My House in Hollywood on Wednesday night. Sounds like she won't need that dating service any more."

This sounds like a low-rent Pussycat Dolls rip-off, doesn't it? A couple of things: Doesn't Charlie Sheen have newborn twins at home? Lindsay is "back on men"? Doesn't she know we love her as a lesbian? Now she's just some unemployed drunkgirl who's way too skinny and loves doing coke. Nothing interesting about that. Where's my Samantha Ronson? I miss her.

So Linds was in Vegas filling out job applications. I guess after she hit up Forever 21, In 'n Out Burger and The Sapphire Gentleman's Club (yeah, I've been there, what of it??) she thought she'd hit up former Spice Girl, Mel B. for a position. I am hearing Adam Ant singing again: "Desperate, But Not Serious". I love that song. It's a great reference.

Oh yeah..what is UP with Lindsay with the finger in her mouth? Does it makes us look at her first (yes), longer (yes), then wonder if it's code for "I'm back on men"? (Maybe.)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Liam Neeson is Smiling for the Paps Already.

Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes

Has it even been a month since Liam Neeson's wife, Natasha Richardson died in a freak skiing accident? I may sound like a wimpy romantic who is deeply in love with her husband (and I AM), how-bloody-EVER...I know for a fact I wouldn't be smiling for ANYONE's camera this soon after I had lost the love of my life. Maybe it's just me. I wouldn't be Out. Of. My. Bed. All eating would have stopped. I might take care of the dogs, if only because of the incessant whining, but all personal hygiene would come to an end. I would need a doctor to give me a morphine drip- at the very least--to help me through that agony. I honestly don't GET these people sometimes. I'm also referring to the folks on TV, doing interviews after their child has been abducted and/or killed. The very idea of trotting out onto my driveway to give Nancy Grace an interview completely baffles me. If there is such a notion of "doped-up hysteria", I'm positive that would be my mental state.

I suppose we all handle stress or tragedy in our own special way, but, wow. There's Liam Neeson up there with co-star Ralph Fiennes, bravely smiling for the cameras after a Broadway performance of Mary Stuart. Good for him, I guess. I just know life would not "go on" as quickly for me.

**Update** Just got off the phone with Mom. I told her about this post and she said, "leave Liam alone! He's IRISH!".

Coachella 2009: Lots of Celebrities Trying to Look Cool

Sir Paul onstage
The hardcores NOT in the VIP Lounge

Robert Smith of The Cure

The Hoff

I swear to God I never thought I'd have David Effing-Hasselhoff in my blog, but looky who got in. Check out those get-ups. Stragecically torn holes in the jeans, is that is camo jacket? You just know that chick he's with spent thousands in Beverly Hills to get that hippy-chick look. "Oooooh, I think I'll tie a knot in my skirt!" Yeeeeesh. Dumbasses.
Jake (I'm not GAY!) and
Reese ("It's too hot to wear Spanx!")

I'm positive my grandmother, Babe,
would've looked way hotter than
Dita Von Tisse.
Brown socks, sandals and a dress.
Oh, Chloe Sevigne.
Here we go. Coachella, the awesome weekend-long music festival in Indio, California (in the scorching desert!) was a huge success. What effing recession? Seems this year's festival broke attendance records, which is awesome, if you ask me. I just have to laugh, though, at the mostly dorky "celebrities" who go to this thing and try desperately to "fit in".

These are the performers you missed, if you were not at Coachella with the heat-index in the mid-thousands:

Friday, April 17th
Saturday, April 18th
Sunday, April 19th
A Place To Bury Strangers
Alberta Cross
Buraka Som Sistema
Cage the Elephant
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Craze and Klever
Crystal Castles
Dear and the Headlights
EL gran silencio
Felix da Housecat
Franz Ferdinand
Genghis Tron
Ghostland Observatory
Girl Talk
Gui Boratto
Leonard Cohen
Los Campesinos!
M. Ward
Noah and the Whale
Patton & Rahzel
Paul McCartney
Peanut Butter Wolf
People Under the Stairs
Ryan Bingham
Silversun Pickups
Steve Aoki
The Crystal Method
The Aggrolites
The Airborne Toxic Event
The Black Keys
The Bug featuring Warrior Queen
The Courteeners
The Hold Steady
The Presets
The Ting Tings
We Are Scientists
White Lies
Amanda Palmer
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
Band Of Horses
Billy Talent
Blitzen Trapper
Bob Mould Band
Booker T
Cloud Cult
Dr. Dog
Drive By Truckers
Drop The Lime
Electric Touch
Fleet Foxes
Gang Gang Dance
Glass Candy
Henry Rollins - spoken word
Ida Maria
James Morrison
Jenny Lewis
Junior Boys
Michael Franti & Spearhead
Paolo Nutini
Para One
The Bloody Beetroots
The Chemical Brothers (DJ Set)
The Killers
Thievery Corporation
TV On The Radio
Zane Lowe
Zizek Club
Joss Stone
Antony and the Johnsons
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Busy P.
Christopher Lawrence
Devendra Banhart
Etienne De Crecy
Friendly Fires
Fucked Up
Groove Armada (DJ Set)
Late of the Pier
Lupe Fiasco
Lykke Li
Marshall Barnes
Mexican Institute of Sound
My Bloody Valentine
No Age
Okkervil River
Paul Weller
Perry Farrell
Peter Bjorn and John
Plump Djs
Public Enemy
Roni Size Reprazent
Sebastien Tellier
Shepard Fairey
The Cure
The Gaslight Anthem
The Horrors
The Kills
The Knux
The Murder City Devils
The Night Marchers
The Orb
Throbbing Gristle
Vivian Girls
Yeah Yeah Yeah's
Those are a lot of bands, and a lot of sweaty people.