Raise your hand if you love the F-Bomb on network TV!

Y'all better watch this while you can. I'm positive NBC will yank this video.





HAHAHAHA! There are a LOT of "too bads" (literal and sarcastic) about this craziness.

1.) Too bad this was Jenny Slate's first appearance on SNL...and she drops the F-bomb. Awesome. It was fucking hilarious. Look at her "OOPS!" face.

"Oh, shit."

 2.) Too bad Lorne Michaels probably reamed her a new one after the skit was over. Hey Lorne?? Your sinking ship is getting a lot of much needed press. Shut the EFF up, and leave Jenny alone.


3.) Too bad Kristin Wiig is such a pro that she didn't even flinch. That was awesome. And


4.)  Too bad this makes up for stupid Megan Fox's hosting.

It's called a win/win. 

Ellen DeGeneres? The new, PERMANENT 4th judge on "American Idol"? Whaaaa?

Holy crap. This came out of left field, didn't it? I think it's pretty cool, though. Who doesn't love Ellen anyway? 

via MSN:


"In a statement released by the show just a few minutes ago, DeGeneres said, “I’m thrilled to be the new judge on ‘American Idol.’ I’ve watched since the beginning, and I’ve always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I’ll save from not having to text in my vote.”


Ellen didn't participate (and isn't participating) in the audition process that is ongoing. She'll start when the new season of American Idol premieres in January 2010. 

I was not a huge Paula fan. There. I said it. I am just relieved I won't be screaming at the TV anymore when some drunk chick is slurring unintelligibly and dancing like a groupie when she ought to be showing some decorum. 


I'm waiting for the hate mail from mah gurls. You know who you are: Patrick, et al.

Oh, and maybe Ellen's wife Portia will show up from time to time? Mmmmmm. Portiaaaaa. (In Homer Simpson's voice...)

"Oh, that PARTICULAR beating...NOW, I remember." -- Chris Brown

I would love to know what's so GD funny.

So Chris Brown does remember something. Like, wow. Don't you love how he keeps saying "what happened" as opposed to "what I did"? Yeah. Like, wow.

Here's Chris's lame-ass "explanation" of his statements made on Larry King Live.

LOS ANGELES — Chris Brown says he remembers beating Rihanna and that a brief interview clip making the rounds online Monday in which he said he didn't recall the incident "is not representative of what I said."

The R&B singer tells People magazine in a lengthy statement that he "misspoke" during the 30-second clip and that he was asked "something like 4 or 5 times" about the altercation with Rihanna during an hourlong interview.

"Of course I remember what happened," Brown said in a statement late Monday. "Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur.

"When I look at it now, it's just like, wow, like, I can't believe that that actually happened," Brown told King."

Sigh. Just shut up already.

THANKS, Christine!

Madonna Loves the Gypsies!

Oh Madonna. Way to piss off the Romanians. Honestly. Madonna has been living in her own 5-star hotel of a life for so long that she just has no sense of reality. None.

"While onstage, the Material Girl told her views on discrimination in Eastern Europe, where anti-Gypsy (or Roma as they’re known there) behavior is common.

During the concert, Madge told 60,000 concertgoers her thoughts about how discrimination made her “very sad, especially because we don’t believe in discrimination against anyone.”

Despite the poor reaction, Madonna continued on - hoping to try and get through to the crowd, saying,”We believe in equal rights for everyone, right? Gypsies, homosexuals, people who are different; everyone is equal and should be treated with respect, OK? Let’s not forget that.”

While I appreciate Madonna's "can't we all just get along" sentiment, I wasn't confronted by gangs of homosexuals trying to steal my purse while in Europe...it was a gang of gypsies. What a ridiculous comparison she's making.

I'm offended on behalf of my Gays.

The View's Sherri Shephard - Does THIS Look Like a Size 6 to YOU?

Good job, Sherri.
Wait. WHAT did you just say?

Hey, I'm all for people losing weight if they feel like they need to...just don't fib about what size you are now. There is no way in hell Sherri's a size 6 now. The only reason I'm even mentioning this is because this has been SUCH a big fat deal on The View for the past several months. It's been all about Sherri, her trainer, and then finally the Big Swimsuit Day came this week. She looks just great. Healthy. I understand she doesn't want a breast reduction and that's fine.

Just don't tell us all that you're a size 6, mmkay?

Victoria Beckham took out her implants. Well, her doctor probably helped.

Victoria and David Beckham at Heathrow Airport

Here's a bit of fluff if I ever wrote it: Victoria Beckham had her implants removed. Yep. That's the kind of stuff that I sift through every GD day.

Not all that interesting, but here's Posh, minus about 4lbs. of silicone.

STOP PACKING UP THE VAN! There will be no public viewing at Neverland Ranch. Pssshhh.

Settle down. I just Googled "glass coffin"!

But how funny is this picture with young boys in it?

Oh. Sorry.

Oh, the dirty masses (remember, not my words) have to unpack their Tom Joad trucks and stay home now that "The Official Word from the Jackson Family" has indicated that there will NOT be a public viewing of Michael Jackson's body this Friday. Goddamnit.

Don't eff with those Santa Barbara snips. They mean bidness. Actually, I don't know why it was announced then rescinded. Moving trucks, concrete (?) trucks and other work vans are still going in and out of Neverland. What gives?

Now look what they made me do: TALK ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON.

Infomercial Spokesman BILLY MAYS(!!!!!) Has Died

BILLY MAYS DIED!!

Holy crap. BILLY MAYS has died. (He yelled in every infomercial, I thought it appropriate to yell his name). Can a dude yell himself to death? Sorry.

The Associated Press is reporting:

TAMPA, Fla. – Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. He was 50.

Tampa police said Mays was found unresponsive by his wife Sunday morning. A fire rescue crew pronounced him dead at 7:45 a.m. It was not immediately clear how he died. He said he was hit on the head when an airplane he was on made a rough landing Saturday, and Mays' wife told investigators the TV personality didn't feel well before he went to bed that night."

Hey--I bought OxiClean for the first time in my life yesterday. Oooh.

The New American Idol Is--(drumroll...) KRIS ALLEN?

Stunned Kris Allen, and a very gracious Adam Lambert

"This belongs to Adam", Kris Allen

Holy crap, ya'll. You wouldn't BELIEVE the fury on Twitter last night when Kris Allen's name was announcedas "American's New American Idol" instead of Miss Adam Glambert. I mean, I was totally (sorta?) shocked as much as anyone, but these people were losing their shit over this upset. The words "homophobia" and "conspiracy" were being thrown about like the confetti that rained on the stage at the Kodak Theatre.

I have a couple of opinions on all of this controversy. First and formost: Adam Lambert IS BETTER OFF LOSING. This way he doesn't have to comply with the pablum-bland treacle that the "Idol" producers were make him release on his album. (Oh, and two words: JENNIFER HUDSON.)

Secondly, I certainly HOPE this wasn't some sort of sick homophobic movement of sorts. I would seriously think that in today's world...oh, who am I kidding? Look what happened with Proposition 8 in California, banning gay marriage. It's been rumored that conservative organizations and certain Utah-based folks (ahem) pumped loads of money into the pot to ensure that gays did not receive equal rights, so why couldn't the same happen with something like "American Idol"? Let's discuss this. I'd love your input on all this "grassy knoll, second-gunman" consipracy.

Anyway. Kris Allen was very good, but even he was shocked--if not chagrined by his win, saying that "this belongs to Adam". I don't believe I've ever heard another "Idol" winner say that about another contestant.

So yeah. WOW.