Oh Katie Holmes. I Love Photoshop, Too!

"Kate" on the latest cover of "Glamour Magazine"

Thank God she's sitting down...
...because she's about to topple over from
from the weight of her existence.

Patrick is always whining that I only post hideous photos of Katie Holmes. No. I just post photos of Katie Holmes. HA! Get it??

Holy crap, though. Where is the fashion icon from about 2 years ago? Oh that's right...she's married to David Beckham! HA! Get it??

Who's THAT Bitch? "American Idol" Edition

Paula WISHES she were this

FLAWLESS and FIERCE!

Oh gurrrrrl.

Just in case your gaydar is on the fritz, or you are in fact, Helen Keller, "American Idol" front-runner Adam Lambert is a big ol' queen. Wow, is that sentence insulting or just redundant? Think about it. I haven't.

ANYgay. Seems not only are the little girls squealin' over this "dude", the BIG ol' girls are, too! YAY!!!

If the "Idol" producers don't let Adam perform in drag, I'm gonna be pissed. Seriously.

GAAAHHHH! "Exit 57" Videos!!!

Holy CRAP, you guys. I can't BELIEVE I found these videos..."Exit 57" is an old Comedy Central show that is pee-your-pants-fuuny. Take a look:




If ONLY I could find the "Boozy Party" episode!

"...don't you EVER call me a tugboat!"

Oh, Amy Sedaris.

What is Going ON With My Blog???

I wish I knew what was going on, you guys...my last three blog posts aren't showing up! What the hell?

You can click on them and read them...but jeeeez. This is lame. I'm working on it...

xoxo ~j

Lindsay Lohan Has an Entire Meal in London!

"Mmmmmmm"

That oughta hold her for a few days.

Michael Jackson Still Has a Face, Ya'll!

Silly Putty WORKS, ya'll!

Sometimes just imaging what is behind Michael Jackson's mask is scarier than what actually is behind the mask. I totally pictured a skinless cavernous malformation...and it's only THIS? I'm almost disappointed.

Almost.

Michelle Obama Doesn't Really Care for Oprah.

Hmmm. Not so much.

Oh Oprah. This is what happens when you parade around like you single-handedly got Barack Obama elected into the White House.

There are rumors speculating that First Lady MICHELLE OBAMA has had enough of talk show titan OPRAH WINFREY!

“Oprah marched into the White House with Gayle King in tow like she owned it,” an insider said when the chatty twosome arrived for an interview with Michelle.

“(Oprah) believes she played a major role in getting President Obama elected and expects to be treated like royalty when she calls on them.

“But Michelle had other ideas. She appreciates that Oprah endorsed her husband, but considers her role minor in getting him elected.”

This is some funny shit...

"Oprah's (cough, cough, wink, wink) BFF Gayle King interviewed Mrs. President for O recently at the White House. The First Lady was peeved when Oprah swept in like visiting royalty - ahead of Gayle - and presented her large, fleshy cheek for a greeting kiss. Michelle wasn't having any of that, and stepped back and stuck out her hand for a handshake, as proper protocol would dictate. "

Oprah? Simmer down and quit insinuating that you and Barack had a litlle sump-in sump-in goin' on during the campaign. Yeeesh.

"The First Lady has been irked by Oprah's self-grandeur since the days of the campaign trail. She's not fooled by Oprah's phony chumminess, either. She saw the way Oprah tried to flirt with her husband in front of the cameras. Throughout the interview Michelle made it a point to speak directly with Gayle and ignore her Royal Winfreyness, making her blood boil."

Ohman. How embarrassing.