George Clooney takes mom and Elisabetta (is that an Adam's Apple I see?) Canalis to the Premiere of "Up In The Air"

Seriously. She looks like a dude.

I'm not saying anything that YOU aren't thinking, so don't leap all over me for saying Elisabetta Canalis looks like a full-on tranny. Oh, a pretty good tranny who has temporarily snagged her some Clooney-time, but a tranny nonetheless.

And how cute is George's mom? Nina is a little doll, who oddly looks more of an appropriate age to be on George's arm than the tranny...and that is all kinds of wrong.

Actually, anything having to do with George's lovelife seems to be questionable. 

I don't know where I'm even headed with that last remark.

"Twilight - New Moon" Premiere in Los Angeles!

 Robert Pattinson making some girl's LIFE.

 

 Oh.My.Goodness. Kristen Stewart looks PLEASANT.

And very pretty, I might add.

 

 More RPatz

 

 Dakota Fanning working that red carpet pose.

 

GASP! JOAN effing JETT, people!!

 

By now we all know that I've never read a single Twilight novel, nor have I seen the first film. I doubt, too, that I'll see the second installment, New Moon--because well, why would I?

Here are my thoughts on the L.A. premiere tonight. JOAN EFFING JETT was on the red carpet!! She was there obviously to support her girls, Kristen and Dakota who are in the Runaways film which I will see. (KStew plays Joan and Dakota is portraying  Cheri Curry--even though I thought Taylor Momsen should've been cast. The producers really should have asked me...but maybe Dakota will rock it, who knows?)

I'm also genuinely happy to see that Rob and Kristen aren't playing the sullen brats like they did during the first film's promotion tours. Remember this?

Yeah.

 

via Examiner.com

"Some big celebrities showed up for the premiere as well. Joan Jett is on hand, presumably to lend some support to Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning, who star in the upcoming biopic The Runaways (Stewart, as you likely already know, plays Jett). Rapper 50 Cent is there (who would have thought he liked Twilight?), as well as Jennifer Love Hewitt, Julianne Hough, and Rachel Lea from 'Glee.'

Even Richie Sambora is there with his daughter, who is probably quite thrilled that her father managed to get her there!"

I love a vampire film...maybe I should just hush up. If I had a daughter, she'd probably be all over this Twilight stuff...and I'd know everything about Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

2009 Daytime Emmy Awardzzzzzzzzzz

"I'D LIKE TO THANK MEEEE!!"

The only cute ones there, Portia and Ellen.

Tyra, threatening with her eyes,
instead of smiling with them.

I know, the Daytime Emmy Awards are a bit of the red-headed step-child of awards shows. I really don't care about them, but having seen these pictures of Tyra (in two different dresses, of course. That copper Cavalli get-up is a bit much, don't you think?) Ty-ranny (can be pronounced two ways!) actually won, too, for (gulp) Outstanding Talk Show. Really? Here's what the self-proclaimed "Lightbulb Head" had to say about her show:

"You've got to move and I've totally redone my show from skin and guts — how it looks, feels all the way down to content, because of the changing generation," Banks said.

I take that statement to mean if anyone disagrees with her ass, their ass is OUT.

ANYshrug. Here's the list of winners (aka: people I've never heard of in my entire life):

DRAMA SERIES
"The Bold and the Beautiful"

ACTOR
Christian LeBlanc, "Young and the Restless"

ACTRESS
Susan Haskell, "One Life to Live"

SUPPORTING ACTOR
(Tie)
Jeff Branson, "Guiding Light"
Vincent Irizarry, "All My Children"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Tamara Braun, "Days of Our Lives"

YOUNGER ACTOR
Darin Brooks, "Days of Our Lives"

YOUNGER ACTRESS
Julie Berman, "General Hospital"

DAYTIME DRAMA DIRECTING
"One Life to Live"

DAYTIME DRAMA WRITING
"General Hospital"

TALK SHOW (INFORMATIVE) Ummm...I don't even have a comeback.
"The Tyra Banks Show"

TALK SHOW (ENTERTAINMENT)
"Rachael Ray" Wait. It should read: RACHAEL RAY, Bitches ! ! ! Pain. In. My. Left. Eye.

TALK SHOW HOST
Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shepherd, Barbara Walters, "The View" Jaaaayzus. Those screeching hens won??

GAME SHOW
"Cash Cab" OH! That's a cool show.

GAME SHOW HOST
Meredith Vieira, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"

MORNING PROGRAM
"Good Morning America"

Yawwwwwnnnn.

Paula Abdul is set to host VH1 Divas Live!

"I'm hoshting the Divash, Bitchesh!"

First things first. The line-up for the 2009 VH1's Divas Live is well, questionable at best. The latest edition of the franchise will include performances by Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus, Leona Lewis, and Jordin Sparks, and VH1 says additional performers and presenters will be added in coming weeks.

Children, back in my day, the VH1 Divas Live was something special. We were given Cher, Mariah, Celine and Aretha. WORK IT, DIVAS! Nothing against Jordin Sparks, but a diva she is not. These young women have not come close to what it takes to be called a Diva.

If Whitney wants a real comeback, why doesn't she get her clavicle and wig up on that Diva stage where we want her??

WE WANT WHITNEY!

Oh, this was supposed to be about Paula Lushdrool hosting the Divas. Does this mean she thinks she's one, too? I actually think she might be a Diva. All she's missing is some talent.

Jennifer Aniston embraces being The Lonely Girl...and it's a good thing.

It's time to zip up that jacket, Ma'am.

It's a good thing Chiniston is "fine" with being the poster-spinster for well, spinsters, huh? (Is one actually a spinster even having been left for someone more beautiful, interesting, exotic, talented?)

I know one thing: I'm SICK of seeing her partially (or worse, NON-clothed) body. Here's part of Jen's interview in Elle Magazine:

"How can this be the girl nobody wants to love?

Sultry Jennifer Aniston — striking a sexy, shirtless pose for Elle magazine — says she doesn’t mind that her dismal dating life has earned her the label “the lonely girl.”

“I’m not going to ignore the pink elephant in the living room,” the stunning 40-year-old cracks in an in terview that hits stands this week. “It’s fine. I can take it,” she says.

Aniston — whose beaus since her 2005 split with hubby Brad Pitt have included Vince Vaughn, model Paul Sculfor and John Mayer — said she’s fully supportive of “anybody who is in a place that’s not their strongest [but] is ready to push forward.”

“If I’m the emblem for ‘this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,’ so be it.” Aniston said.

“I can make fun of myself,” she said. “And I’ll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up.” Or even if NO ONE ELSE IS!!

Humor has long been Aniston’s strong suit.

“I remember being 7 and asking my mom if I was as pretty as [my best friend] Monique,” the actress recounted. “And with all the love in the world, my mom looked at me and said, ‘Oh, honey, you’re so funny.’ Wow, Mom. That could be why Jen's so effed-up. I feel sorta sad now.

“So, she doesn’t lie to me . . . She answers the question by not answering and instead tells me what she thinks is my greatest strength.”

Her parents, Aniston recalled, were funny and made each other laugh “like nobody’s business.”

“I put a lot of value in that at a very young age,” she said.

Aniston told the mag that her love woes are nothing compared with the “brick walls” she’s had to break through from her childhood.

The hardest part: “My dad walking out and not seeing him for a year and not knowing where he was . . . Trying to understand, ‘Where did that person go?’ ” she explained.

Aniston’s actor parents, Nancy Dow and John Aniston, split when she was 9.

The star says that if she weren’t an actress, her dream job would be to become a microsurgeon.

“The intense focus and detail . . . completely fascinate me,” she said.

My eyes are rolling like a slot machine. Someone call the Pit Boss to reset them.

Ashton and Demi are making the rest of us look bad.

These two look too good
for their own good.

I was under the assumption that there was a rule of some sort that requires couples to go a bit downhill physically after they've been married for awhile.

Here we have the poster-biddy for good plastic surgery and her waxed and polished boy husband to make us all feel like crap about ourselves. THANKS!

Gaaaah.

Oh Boy...Burger King has really done it THIS time!

Ummm. Wow.

But THIS is funny. Seriously. "Booty is BOOTY!"

Burger King apparently has 15 year old "hotboxing" boys working in their advertising department these days.

Wait. I haven't heard from my boys, Alex and Hunter, for a few days. Maybe THEY are to blame for these shenanigans. All I know is, the Sir Mix-a-Lot with Sponge Bob ad his freaking hilarious, but even I cringed at the "Super Seven Incher" with the chick who looks like a blow-up doll.

Be prepared for the motif-sweater wearin' moms to RISE UP on this one, ya'll. (I'm trying not to giggle...)

Chastity Bono to Have Sex Change Operation!

Chaz Bono

First of all, good for her--I mean HIM. Apparently Chastity (Chaz) Bono is undergoing treatment and procedures for a sex change operation. My first thought was, "good for her!". I told Patrick, my Gay, about this and he said, "WHAAAAT???", as if he were some 78 year old Southern woman. I'll call Patrick "Miss Pittypat" from "Gone With the Wind" for this post. Jesus, he's nutty. Get the smellin' salts, ya'll!! What a dork.

ANYgay. People Magazine (via TMZ) is reporting:

"Yes, it's true — Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity," Bono's rep, Howard Bragman, confirmed to TMZ.com. "He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz's hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his 'coming out' did nearly 20 years ago."

So "Chaz" is already being referred to as a "him"? Things must be progressing nicely! I can't wait to hear Cher's response. She freaked right OUT when Chaz came out all those years ago, but I think she's come to her senses now, which is a good thing for everyone, yes?

Clay Aiken is STILL a jealous bitch--apology or not!

GAAAHHH! My EYES are bleeding!

The lovely Miss Adam Glambert - H O T, ya'll!

I'm saving ya'll the $29.95 I KNOW you were going to send to PayPal to join the Special Clay Aiken blog.. Seems Miss Bitch decided to half-ass apologize for the "ear bleeding" remarks she had the nerve to spew toward our Miss Adam Glambert. This apology is like when some total skank hurts your feelings then says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." In other words...it's not much of an apology at all.

Aiken writes:

"I'll be the first to admit that my opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the bloggers seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, (I'm sorry you feel that way, Ms. Gayken) they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say! If only many of them took the time to pay attention to important things like the US economy and the welfare of the world's children. (Insert full body eyeroll here.) But… nah… I could blog about that type of stuff anytime and most wouldn't think twice, but let me say something that they can pick and choose quotes and misinterpret me… and it's showtime! I never assumed my opinion mattered so much! I guess I may have been wrong."

"That said, since my previous blog got dissected like a biology lab frog, i suppose I should clarify and even retract some of what I wrote. I am sure that some were upset by my choice of words describing my opinion of a performance I heard from Adam Lambert. I hope no one actually believed that blood truly poured forth from my ears when I heard him. (If only that HAD happened!) I obviously meant it as a colorful statement to imply that I did not enjoy what I heard. Any performer hopes that their music will appeal to all people, but no singer realistically expects it to. God knows, I am SURE there are PLENTY of people who can't stand to hear me sing either. (Plenty? How about MOST of us?) I wouldn't dream of assuming that, and I am sure that far worse things have been said about my performances than I would even venture to type here. To me, that's fine. I don't expect unanimous, nor even majority support for my music. But, my guess is Adam doesn't either. I would not venture to make judgements [sic] on the personality or demeanor of anyone I don't know, so none of what I said in my previous blog was directed as a 'slam' on Adam as a person. At the same time, I wouldn't dream of slamming him as an entertainer. He does what he does, because he enjoys it, and he obviously has many fans who enjoy it as well. If what I said in my previous blog regarding my impression of a single performance from Adam upset or offended any of his fans, I expect that the mature ones will realize that it was simply a poorly worded metaphor describing my personal tastes. The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he's smart he couldn't give a crap what I think of his 'Ring of Fire' performance. As an entertainer, Adam knows that one person's opinion of one performance really matters a little less than zero, in the grand scheme of things. He could not have gotten on Idol (nor made it as far as he did) without an immense amount of talent. He surely doesn't need my approval to know he has a gift. At the same time, he realizes that amazing talent doesn't always equal universal appeal. (I could NEVER have the amount of skill and talent that ballet dancers have! (Ohhh...Gayken is letting us in on his dreams of wearing a tutu and "Swan Lake" feathers for "So You think You Can Dance"!) that's talent! But, I don't particularly enjoy it! Pants on FIRE, Gayken.) I am sure that I will have plenty of opportunities in the coming years to hear Adam sing. I imagine he'll be around for years to come. But in the meantime, I definitely don't want to stoop to the level of so many negative freaks on the internet (who the HELL are you callin' a "freak", you eyelash dying, butthole??)… so, I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d---! God knows he shouldn't."

First of all, the Gayken needs to realize that once you show your true colors as a raving jealous bitch in PUBLIC, you DON'T APOLOGIZE. Sister needs to embrace her bitchiness. Girl just keep waggin' your finger and jerkin' your head around.

Bottom line. Gayken is mega-jel and wishes she could get up on that hot bitch, Glambert, but knows she's waaaay outa her league.

We HEART Miss Adam!!

It's a "Fierce-Off", Bitches!!

Oh now, girls!!

First of all, Victoria Beckham should be flattered that Dita Von Teese is wearing one of her designs. That said. I can't decide which one I like better--or dislike more. If that makes any sense. Lord knows I love black and red. My closet has three colors: Black. Red. White. I'm sure that fact doesn't surprise many of you.

So. Do we like Dita's see-through white skin with the black dress and the giant head? Or do we prefer the red dress with the orange skin and shrunken head belonging to Posh?

I love both dresses and Dita's gloves. Dita wins by a pinky.