Elin Woods jerked a knot in Tiger's tail.

The "perfect" couple.

Well, well, well. It was obvious to me that something stunk to high heavens about this whole Tiger Woods mess today. The main sticking point was the time it all transpired--2:20 a.m. Ain't nobody up to anything good at that hour when a woman is wielding a golf club while the Mister is tryna take off in his Escalade after (ALLEGEDLY) fighting about his (ALLEGED) cheating. Yikes.

Elin might look like a tiny little Swedish swimsuit model, but it sounds like she can smack a Tiger UP when confronted with evidence of cheatin'. Tiger was found on the ground after the accident with Elin "hovering over him". Apparently, he had scratches, lacerations and blood in his mouth.

via TMZ.com

"Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.


We're told Woods became "distracted," thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene."

I'm very disappointed in Tiger. (And trying not to smirk about the irony of being chased by his wife with a golf club.)

"Douche, Where's Your Career?" - January Jones blabs about bad ex-boyfriend Kutcher in GQ

 Ashton Kutcher and January Jones,

back in the pre-Mad Men days.

 

Ashton? How ya like her NOW??

If this quote from Mad Men star January Jones, doesn't convince you that Ashton Kutcher is a total douche, I don't know what it will take. Seriously.

via People.com

"[He] was not supportive of my acting," Jones, 31, says in the new issue of GQ. "He was like, I don't think you're going to be good at this. So – f--- you! He only has nice things to say now – if anything, I should thank him. Because the minute you tell me I can't do something, that's when I'm most motivated."

 

Yes. Let's not forget what a respected thespian Mr. Demi Moore is, people. Come ON.  The Butterfly Effect; Guess Who; Just Married; What Happens in Vegas...oh, the list of klassic Kutcher cinema goes on and on...

You deserve this public slap in the face, Ashton.

Dancing With the Stars' Maks and Karina Fighting at Emmy Awards

Karina and Maks performing 

at last night's Emmy Awards

Last night during my live-Tweeting during the Emmy Awards, I tweeted, "AWKWARD!" when I saw Maks and Karina doing a little performance, knowing how they had just called off their engagement. 

Apparently, Maks (who looks like a big jerk to me) was irritated because Karina was "taking too long" getting her hair make-up done. Karina, who seems a bit, um, fiery (which I find endearing), didn't much care for his bitching and they began to argue. Then dance. Then continue arguing right after the performance.

Does anyone else find this hilarious?

Asshole Kanye turns into a whiney crybaby on Leno

Shut up, you big pussy.

Why didn't Leno have Taylor Swift on tonight instead? (I know, she'll be in New York instead for The View tomorrow. I'm sure Whoopi will be gracious and sympathetic toward her, but I am not sure about Sherri Shephard. She didn't have one negative word to say about Kanye's behavior, but she sure did about Joe Wilson's outburst last week during the President's speech to Congress. I'm just sayin'.)

ANYbitch. In typical man-bitch style, Kanye goes from bully to pussy in just a matter of hours. Effing crybaby.

Oh, and President Obama called Kanye a "jackass". I love it.

Demi Moore gives the Pink Pig a verbal ass-kicking...GOOD for her!

Mama and Baby Bear

Demi and Tallulah

The Pink Pig (you have to know who I'm talking about--initials P oink H) had the gall to scrawl his usual nastiness all over a picture of 15-year old Talullah Belle Willis.

"...he wrote "slut" and "ass" on because her breast and butt were accidentally exposed."  Gross.

I was actually on Twitter at the time Demi and that blogger were having it out. (By the way, I have BLOCKED the Pink Pig on Twitter bacause I loathe him, so I was only privy to Demi's side of the "conversation", but believe me, there were NOT two sides to this story.) He can scream "First Amendment" all he wants. It. Does. Not. Apply.

Demi said he isn't "taking violating child pornography laws very seriously..."

• Demi Tweeted: "Let me ask all of you, what is it called when someone is telling people to look and focus on a child's 'boobs & ass' while providing photos?... This is not a game . Children should not be exploited. They must be protected." 

Good for Demi...if I were her, Lord knows I'd be alllll up in that pig's snout, attorney in tow.
 

Mama Bears U N I T E, y'all!

•  
•  
•  

 

FEED ME! (Read: Don't you know who I AM?)

"Tengo hambre!!"

What? Two Salma Hayek posts in as many days? Well...hold onto your, um..yeah.

Seems Mami Hayek was at the Chateau Marmont Hotel this week and was honnngray. She showed up without reservations to the snooty restuarant (the one where Rachel Zoe goes to not eat, and Jennifer Aniston goes to smoke), and expected to be seated and fed immediately.

Life doesn't always work out the way we yell at it in Spanish to be. Boobi Tittez freaked out, screamed in her native language at anyone who couldn't plug their ears until she was given a table once some poor, bitchslapped diners had finished their meal (read: pulled the stiletto out of the back of their head).

I'm gonna try that the next time I go to The Golden Corral. I can't wait. Who's in?

Whitney Houston Screws Up the New Material

Ohdearlord. Whitney. Whit-NEY. Don't blame a little chattin' with Oprah on that thing we used to call a voice. Oh, girl.

Did anyone else feel like they were watching the MADTV skit, Whitney Houston Screws Up the Classics?




"Me and Bobby's baby"--did she REALLY say that?? I can't tell which is Whitney and which is the genius of Debra Wilson.

I realize I'm gonna get verbally bitch-slapped by mah gurrls.

This douche is NOT what I want to see first thing Sunday morning.

Ick. Nast.

Goddamnit, Gosselin. Thanks for making me swear on Sunday morning. But I never, ever thought I 'd have to see your flip-flopped ass "hosting" a Vegas pool party. They seem to just dole this gatherings to just any a-hole, don't they?

Just look at this douche (read: PAID, father of 8), trying his best "sexy-face" at Wet Republic at the MG-EFFING-Grand. I don't know if I'll be able to finish licking my plate of Eggs Florentine (wiping hollandaise from my chin).

Okay. Nothing keeps me from licking hollandaise. Hush up.

Burger King Manager Threatens to Call Police Due to BARE BABY FEET!

"You can order To Go, but you cannot have your baby with bare feet inside the restaurant".

What. The. CRAP?

SUNSET HILLS, MO (via KTVI - FOX2now.com) - No shoes, no shirt, no service: there is word that the manager of a St. Louis County restaurant threatened to kick out a six-month old baby and her mother because the baby wasn't wearing shoes. The infant's mom says the restaurant is taking the policy too far. Jennifer Frederich said the manager of the Sunset Hills Burger King at 10734 Sunset Hills Plaza cited 'health concerns'.

Frederich said her daughter, Kaylin, was too young to even get her feet dirty; she couldn't walk, couldn't crawl, her feet still pretty much too small for shoes.

"Everybody loves baby feet," she said.

Yet she said those feet nearly got the baby, her mom and her grandmother, booted from the restaurant, as grandma was holding Kaylin at the counter and the cashier took their order.

"The manager was standing next to him said, 'you can order "to go" but you're going to have to leave if she doesn't have shoes on'. He said, 'it's against health code'," Frederich said.

Frederich said she was taking her church youth group to the Rock the River concerts under the Gateway Arch, Sunday; she, her mother, daughter, and about 25 others, stopped at the Burger King on the way; Frederich's mother went in with the baby first; then Frederich came in with the rest of the group.

"The guy was still saying, 'that lady is still here with that baby without shoes'," Frederich said. "I just looked at him and I said, 'that's my daughter. She doesn't own shoes. She's only 6 months old'... she doesn't walk. She's not touching the ground. So there's no reason for her to have shoes on."

Still, a sign on the door did say, "shoes and shirt required". So, Frederich said she put socks on the baby in an effort to comply; but the manager threatened to call police, so the group ate hurriedly and left."

All of you who know me just KNOW how I would've reacted to this, had it been me with my grandson, Felix (whose feet are shown above). I'd be on Nancy Grace, Jane Velez-Mitchell, The View, Larry King, Oprah, (only the best for Felix's toes!), knocking Michael Jackson off of the top story for the day.

Where's my fire extinguisher? My hair's on fire again.

Crazy Naomi Campbell is at it again--Zahara, take note!

Ya'll better sit DOWN.
Miss Campbell will cut you.

Mmmmmhmmm. Watch it.

Babygirl has got the side-eye PERFECTED.

That photo of Zahara Jolie-Pitt makes me belly laugh every time I see it. Check that side-eye OUT, ya'll. Let's see...it'll be about 12 years or so and if we're lucky, we'll be hearing about Z smacking up some photographer. Or housekeeper. Or flight attendant.

So here's Naomi's latest bitch-slap:

"...Campbell allegedly slapped Italian photographer Gaetano Di Giovanni, clocked him with her purse and swiped at his left eye with her nails!!

Giovanni recalled the story of the supermodel attacking him on the island of Lipari to an Italian newspaper.

Says the photog: "First she hit with her bag, screaming at me and then she tried to slap me. I managed to avoid her – but her nails still got my eye. For a few seconds I could not see a thing. I could hear that her bodyguards and her boyfriend were trying to drag her away."

He claims Campbell's attack landed him in the hospital with scratches and bruises." Oh, gurrrrrl. And I mean the photographer.

Just wait, ya'll. I guaran-effing-tee it. Zahara's the Queen Bitch in Training.

And I'm LOVING it.

Mimoo and Eminem are in 8th grade.

Oh, now GIRLS!!

Mariah Carey and Eminem are behaving like the 8th grade girls that they are. God, here we go again. First he talks crap about her, right? Then she does a song and video called "Obsessed" which alludes to Em's OBESSION (?) with Mimoo. Now Em has written a nasty-ass rap about their alledged relationship--if that's what you want to call this mess he barfed up:

WARNING: These lyrics are not pretty. I'm tellin' ya now. If you are a delicate flower, don't read any further; otherwise, don't complain to me about the profanity. I'm just tellin' ya what I heard, yo.

"Yeah, what you gonna say? I'm lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you had to be drunk to me?
Second base? What the fuck you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It's gotta count for something.
Listen, girly. Surely you don't want me to talk about how I nutted early cos ejaculated early and bus all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you're stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I'm embarrassing me, I'm embarrassing you and don't you dare say it isn't true.
As long as the song's getting airplay I'm dissing you."

by The Distinguished Marshall Mathers


I'm wiping away the tears...what a sensitive piece of songwriting...sniff sniff.

Oh, Candy Spelling. You slay me.

Dorian Gray and her foal.

See? The photo in the attic just
keeps getting OLDER. Then there's
the full-grown filly.

For all of you who have issues with family members,Candy Spelling (the Mother of All Mothers since Miss Crawford) has shown us that this is the latest--and best--way to communicate their shortcomings as human beings: Draft an email to TMZ and save your postage and lose your dignity, all in one fell swoop.

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.

I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glaces. Clue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that i would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.

That was awesome.

However, I highly doubt Tori's beef with her mother has anything to do with being forced to eat icky vegetables inasmuch as Tori clearly has the scurvy. I think it may have everything to do with the fact Tori only received $800,000 from her dad's gazillions when he passed away. That, and the fact that Candy went "on the record" saying that Tori "killed her father".

Oh. That.

Sidebar: You know what I've decided? If I ever somehow thought to get a stable of horses, I would name them Sarah, Jessica, Parker and Tori. Isn't that precious?

That was for Holly...because it IS funny every. Single. Time!

Levi Johnston Calls Sarah Palin a "Money Grubber"!

"Levi, I TOLD you to get off my property."

Oh brother.

Well, sort of. It sure is funny, though. This whole Sarah/Levi/Bristol thing is so freaking Small Town, it's hilarious (again, because it's not happening to ME). Lord knows if Hunter got some little tart pregnant I'd be so pissed off, that chick would be begging for menstrual cramps. See how I turned the story around and made my BOY the angel? That's why I'm here, ya'll, to show you both sides. Heh.

ANYwhitetrash...Levi is blabbin' about how he thinks Sarah Palin quit her jobby-job as an elected official--wait GOVERNOR OF ALASKA, so she could pimp her family out for M.O.N.E.Y. Whaaaa? Seems Sarah owes $500K in legal fees. Levi says he overheard Sarah (remember when Sarah allowed Levi to LIVE with that Palin family and was surprised Levi and Bristol didn't "practice abstinance"? Jesus H. ) saying how awesome it would be to just take up those offers for a book and a reality TV show. Just wait, soon enough we'll get to see those northern hillbillies on TLC. I'd pay cash money to watch Sarah and Kate Gosselin go at it for ratings. It would be a goddamn screech-fest!

YAY for America!

Janet Jackson Appears on BET Awards for Brother, Michael

Janet's appearance was the only highlight of the BET Awards tonight. God, Jamie Foxx makes me sick. There. I said it. I was Twittering...wait...TWEETING during the show and all of a sudden I hear that dumbass Jamie say that Michael belonged to "them"--meaning ONLY African Americans--and they just "shared Michael" with everyone else. You know what, Jamie? Fuck you. I've already been down this road once before when Luther Vandross died and another African American artist said virtually the same thing in an article in Rolling Stone Magazine. I was so angered by this kind of divisive philosophy that I wrote to Rolling Stone Magazine--and was published.



That's right. Janet Jackson is the artist I was referring to...

Perez Hilton is Wussy and Scaredy.

Wuss

The hateful and heartless, Perez Hilton

Good. I'm happy to hear that that wussy a-hole, Perez Hilton is all nervey and scaredy after his hateful remarks immediately following the news of Michael Jackson's passing. The website "The Gawker" has written a very funny, yet important blog about the idiot known as Perez Hilton:

Via The Gawker:

"Infamous gossip monger/dirtbag Perez Hilton has maybe had the worst week of his life. And it's beginning to show: Perez is blogging scared. Is this the end for him?

Perez (née Mario Lavandeira) got a literal slap upside the head by Will.I.Am's manager earlier this week, and a few figuratively slaps upside the head by celebrities who once willingly participated in his sadomasochistic, symbiotic celebrity-industrial complex for his poor handling of Michael Jackson's death. Because of both, Lavandeira's clearly shaken, and isn't doing too well.

The cracks in his mini-empire are beginning to show. Little of the trademark viciousness or salaciousness Perez typically attracts readers to his site with has been around lately..."

There is one particular celebrity blogger whom I find hilarious. It's Michael K. who writes "D-Listed". There isn't a day that goes by that I don't LITERALLY laugh out loud when reading this blog. I often wish I could be as funny and ridiculous as he is, but I can't compare our blogs. Mine goes from silly-mean in one post to personal and full of self-pity (or loathing, as the case may be), on the next blog. So, if you really want an alternative to that a-hole who's pictured above, please go to D-Listed. www.dlisted.com

In other words: BOYCOTT that hateful bitch's website.

Running Behind Today...But WTF Perez Hilton??

For pity sake. I'm running behind on the blogging today, which I realize is SUPER unprofessional, especially on a Monday morning. As I've mentioned before, I don't have staff or substitute bloggers the way so many others have when "real life" pops up.

My 9 year old whippet Angelina, had a toe amputated late yesterday. We're unclear about how she hurt the toe, but the fact is, it couldn't be saved. James, our boxer flipped the eff OUT about Angelina's "lampshade" thingy that she has to wear so she doesn't chew her bandages off. He was barking--no, YELLING into the lampshade like it was a megaphone and it was sooo not cool. I kept getting the side-eye from Angelina as if to say, "get this loud dork away from my ass!", so I ran James off to daycare.

Sissy Fight!!

I understand Perez Hilton got punched in the face for his nasty remarks about Fergie and Will.I.Am last night after the Much Music Video Awards in Toronto. According to TMZ.com

"...[video] footage begins in the middle of the verbal altercation outside an after-party for a music award show in Toronto -- moments after Hilton claims Will went after him like a "heat-seeking missile" and unleashed a verbal tirade at him.

With a crowd surrounding Perez, Will and Will's manager, Polo -- the guys argue back and forth for about a minute, until Perez tells Will, "you're not a f**king artist ... you're a f**king f*ggot."

The scene suddenly turns chaotic -- and in the mess someone punches Perez in the face."

It's a slippery slope when it comes to determining who's right and who's wrong in a situation like this. Having said that, Perez sounds like a whiney-ass 8th grade girl. It's hilarious, but disturbing at the same time. He certainly has some hateful--and I mean HATEFUL--things to say on his little homemade video all the while defending himself. I'm not going to post his ridiculous 12 minute rant, ya'll can go find it if you want, because as he says over and over, he "doesn't need the press". Oh really? Is that why you TWITTERED (Tweeted?) for help after getting smacked, rather than calling the cops? That's just crazy, self-absorbtion.

I admit that I make fun of celebrities a LOT--isn't that what celebrity bloggers DO? I do think there's a fine line, though. Now, I'm not a fan of the tween-Disney stars, and I rarely discuss them here, but I don't enjoy the way Perez calls Miley Cyrus a "slut" on one hand then completely sucks up to her later, only to be a total bitch to her again. I despise the nasty drawings he makes on the celebrity photos. (He does this, too, so other bloggers won't steal "his" photos from the website, no doubt, but they are still gross.)

I've heard all kinds of rumors that celebrities actually pay Mario (Perez's real name) to either say nice things about them or to not say bitchy things about them. I have no idea if that's true. I am surprised by the fact that Perez thinks he's really all that powerful, and secondly that the celebrities think he's powerful. Most celebrity bloggers write bitchy posts, but don't go for the jugular the way he does. My favorite blogs are the ones that are especially funny, like "D-Listed" with Michael K. He says some hilarious shit, that no one should take seriously. My suggestion? Don't read PerezHilton.com .

ANYgay.

Dreamboat Dr. Drew thinks Lindsay needs to lose a leg in order to get it together, man!

Dreamboat Dr. Drew

Lindsay is look old and rough.

My Dreamboat Dr. Drew Pinsky (of "Loveline" and "Celebrity Rehab" fame") is calling Lindsay out on her shit. I love it. Sistergirl is barely 23 and needs the Botox almost as badly as I do. "Rode hard and put away wet" should be her next tattoo, don't you think? My fascination with Linds is beginning to wane. (It's because she can't get Sam back.) But did you notice she's still wearing the gold Cartier "Love" bracelet she and Sam both were wearing? I sure don't see Samantha wearing hers anymore. Just sayin'.

Oh yeah. Dreamboat Dr. Drew. Here's what he had to say about Ms. Lohan and her ghastly lifestyle:

Dr. Drew told Parade (via NJ.com),

"I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. I'm really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to her before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up. And it's going to be a while before she does. I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does. And it scares me."

Not to be a bitch or anything, but losing a leg didn't make Paul McCartney's ex-wife Heather Mills any less of a nutcase. Know'msayin'?

Clay Aiken is STILL a jealous bitch--apology or not!

GAAAHHH! My EYES are bleeding!

The lovely Miss Adam Glambert - H O T, ya'll!

I'm saving ya'll the $29.95 I KNOW you were going to send to PayPal to join the Special Clay Aiken blog.. Seems Miss Bitch decided to half-ass apologize for the "ear bleeding" remarks she had the nerve to spew toward our Miss Adam Glambert. This apology is like when some total skank hurts your feelings then says, "I'm sorry you feel that way." In other words...it's not much of an apology at all.

Aiken writes:

"I'll be the first to admit that my opinion is just that, only my opinion, but for as much as some of the bloggers seem to dislike me and care so little about my thoughts, (I'm sorry you feel that way, Ms. Gayken) they sure can waste a lot of their space on what I say! If only many of them took the time to pay attention to important things like the US economy and the welfare of the world's children. (Insert full body eyeroll here.) But… nah… I could blog about that type of stuff anytime and most wouldn't think twice, but let me say something that they can pick and choose quotes and misinterpret me… and it's showtime! I never assumed my opinion mattered so much! I guess I may have been wrong."

"That said, since my previous blog got dissected like a biology lab frog, i suppose I should clarify and even retract some of what I wrote. I am sure that some were upset by my choice of words describing my opinion of a performance I heard from Adam Lambert. I hope no one actually believed that blood truly poured forth from my ears when I heard him. (If only that HAD happened!) I obviously meant it as a colorful statement to imply that I did not enjoy what I heard. Any performer hopes that their music will appeal to all people, but no singer realistically expects it to. God knows, I am SURE there are PLENTY of people who can't stand to hear me sing either. (Plenty? How about MOST of us?) I wouldn't dream of assuming that, and I am sure that far worse things have been said about my performances than I would even venture to type here. To me, that's fine. I don't expect unanimous, nor even majority support for my music. But, my guess is Adam doesn't either. I would not venture to make judgements [sic] on the personality or demeanor of anyone I don't know, so none of what I said in my previous blog was directed as a 'slam' on Adam as a person. At the same time, I wouldn't dream of slamming him as an entertainer. He does what he does, because he enjoys it, and he obviously has many fans who enjoy it as well. If what I said in my previous blog regarding my impression of a single performance from Adam upset or offended any of his fans, I expect that the mature ones will realize that it was simply a poorly worded metaphor describing my personal tastes. The only person I would really dream of apologizing to is Adam. And the irony is, if he's smart he couldn't give a crap what I think of his 'Ring of Fire' performance. As an entertainer, Adam knows that one person's opinion of one performance really matters a little less than zero, in the grand scheme of things. He could not have gotten on Idol (nor made it as far as he did) without an immense amount of talent. He surely doesn't need my approval to know he has a gift. At the same time, he realizes that amazing talent doesn't always equal universal appeal. (I could NEVER have the amount of skill and talent that ballet dancers have! (Ohhh...Gayken is letting us in on his dreams of wearing a tutu and "Swan Lake" feathers for "So You think You Can Dance"!) that's talent! But, I don't particularly enjoy it! Pants on FIRE, Gayken.) I am sure that I will have plenty of opportunities in the coming years to hear Adam sing. I imagine he'll be around for years to come. But in the meantime, I definitely don't want to stoop to the level of so many negative freaks on the internet (who the HELL are you callin' a "freak", you eyelash dying, butthole??)… so, I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d---! God knows he shouldn't."

First of all, the Gayken needs to realize that once you show your true colors as a raving jealous bitch in PUBLIC, you DON'T APOLOGIZE. Sister needs to embrace her bitchiness. Girl just keep waggin' your finger and jerkin' your head around.

Bottom line. Gayken is mega-jel and wishes she could get up on that hot bitch, Glambert, but knows she's waaaay outa her league.

We HEART Miss Adam!!

Jamie Foxx is a Jerk.

I love finding old-ass, ugly pictures

of idiots "stars".


And he's acting like the total bitch that he is--oh yeah, I said it. Come get me, Jamie. I'll kick your ass, too. As much as I don't really care for Miley Cyrus (she's a big o'l' liar 'bout not havin' the sex), Jamie Foxx needs to shut that gummy hole of his. HE should talk about "gums". That is one effed-up grill he's sportin'. That aside, this rant about Miley was just gross. Oh, and Jamie? She's a BILLIONAIRE. In your effing dreams, my friend.

"Who is Miley Cyrus?" an incredulous Foxx, who has a teenage daughter of his own, said. "The one with all the gums? She gotta get a gum transplant...S--t.""She's gonna ruin Radiohead's career? The same Radiohead that gets paid a million dollars just to sample their songs?"Make a sex tape and grow up," he continued. "Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan and start seeing a lesbian and get some crack in your pipe. Catch Chlamydia on a bicycle seat. That's what I want."

Let's see how he'd respond to someone saying that about his own young daughter. Downlow dumbass needs to to sit down.

Zahara Jolie-Pitt: Diva-in-Training? No. She's Teaching the Class.

What the hell are YOU lookin' at??

Naomi Campbell wishes she

were as fierce as Zahara.

Sorry bitch, you've been replaced.

Every new picture of "Z" confirms the fact that, soon enough, she'll be hurling cell phones at her nannies.

Can't you just hear Zaraha complaining about "those waaaailing baaaabies", in her affected British accent?

I LOVE it!!