Showing posts with label As IF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label As IF. Show all posts

Monday, November 16, 2009

Brad and Angelina create "serpent-themed" jewelry for luxury line, Asprey


 Angelina is wearing the bracelet below.

 

 
I'd like the black ring on the right. 
Stephen? Merry Christmas? (As IF.)

It appears that I'm in the minority about loving Brad and Angelina's foray into jewelry design. Specifically, their line with Asprey called "The Protector", which is a serpent-based design. Okay, maybe the baby spoon is, well, unusual, but the rest of the line is GORGEOUS. Stunning--I'd wear a piece of the line in a heartbeat. I adore pave` diamonds and the rings and bracelets are just so cool and elegant.


The babyspoon
 

 Necklaces

All kinds of other bloggers are bitching about the whole "snake-theme" as if to insinuate how "evil" these two are. Oh come ON. Take it for what it is...snakes on a wrist--for a good cause.

via Extra.com

"Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are adding another job to their resume: jewelry designer.

The couple are creating a high-end line with Asprey called "The Protector." The baubles will consist of diamond, black diamond and emerald pavé rings, bracelets, earrings, men's cuff links, and dress studs -- in the shape of snakes.

Why the serpent theme? According to Women's Wear Daily, Jolie was given a snake ring designed by a different jeweler while pregnant with Shiloh, now 3, and considers them to be the "protector of her family.

All of the proceeds will be donated to the Education Partnership for Children of Conflict, which was co-founded by Jolie in 2006. The charity raises awareness and money to help educate child victims of war, conflict and natural disasters.

Says Jolie in a statement, "These are the children who most need a safe place to learn, a place to heal, a place to learn reconciliation, a place to build a better future and a place -- to just be children. Yet the education for these children is often forgotten. Tens of millions of children and adolescents in conflict are not in school."

Am I alone in loving these pieces?

photos via WWD.com

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Brad runs back to Jen? Oh, whatEVER.


"Hi..umm..is Brad there?"

Personally, I think this is a load of crap--but since when do I steer clear of CRAP? I know, right? So, yeah. The oh-so reputable (and I mean that in the sweetest way possible) Daily Mail is blabbing that Brad and Jen are having "secret meetings" again. Oh brother.

via The Daily Mail:


"Brad Pitt is said to have held a secret meeting with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston during a recent trip to New York. The pair, who ended their five-year marriage in 2005, met up at a hotel in the city for an hour where Brad unloaded his emotional baggage, according to Grazia magazine.

The Hollywood star allegedly told Aniston about his relationship problems with Angelina Jolie, whom he hooked up with after walking out on the Friends actress. It comes amid reports that Brad and Jennifer are in regular phone contact and - if true - their latest encounter marks their second private meeting together in the Big Apple this year.

A source told Grazia that Jennifer agreed to visit Brad in his suite at the Essex House hotel, next to Central Park. 'She arrived at his hotel suite a matter of hours after they had spoken. Brad was unloading his emotional baggage on Jen, which isn't exactly fair considering their history.' But the source added: 'She was quick to tell him she wanted no part in his break-up with Angelina.' At first she was reported to be reluctant to meet with her former husband.


But the magazine alleges Brad got his mother Jane - who is famously still close to Jen - to persuade her to meet with him and give some advice. It comes amid claims that his four-year relationship with Angelina has hit the rocks."



Jen? Take ANOTHER good, hard look.



I totally call bullshit on this one...I think DesperAniston is calling this crap into the tabloids. Oh, that would really make me smile. Just the thought of it makes me giggle.


THANKS, ANNETTE!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Megan Fox on the cover of Rolling Stone. America's Bad Girl?


 

I am going to disagree with Rolling Stone Magazine referring to Megan Fox as "American's Bad Girl".  Here's why:

"My temper is ridiculously bad. I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave. I'd never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure."


Megan, I dub thee, "America's Crazy Bitch Who is in Dire Need of a Straightjacket".

Dear Lord, please never let this chick give birth. Amen.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Kate Gosselin is trying to be Princess Diana?

 
  
I have a theory about Kate Gosselin. After she watched Jon talk crap about her on Primetime Live and GMA yesterday, she had to come out looking like, um, well, her version of Princess Diana.
Think back, y'all. Remember when Prince Charles went on the telly to blab about being in an adulterous relationship while married to the beloved Princess of Wales? Then Princess Diana immediately showed up to the Serpentine Gallery in London in what was jokingly called the "F$#k You Dress".
Poor Kate. Does she really think--for one second--that she's in the same category as Princess Diana???
Oh, Kate. Not. Even. CLOSE.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Just Say "As IF", Lindsay.

Lindsay. Come ON. 
I'm beginning to think Lindsay Lohan just may enjoy having her name and picture all up in the media. Whaaaa? No! I've  been too busy loving her, hating her, winking at Samantha Ronson and disapproving her LITTLE sister, Ali to even notice that she just might be a FameHo.
Here she is this weekend in Beverly Hills trying to be ironic. WHAT is written all over her hand? Dealer numbers? Or am I seeing things? 


I just can't believe it...I've been duped. Lindsay had me fooled that she was actually a serious actress with serious dreams of success. You know, a Jodie Foster for the new Generation, if you will.



As if. I'm just yankin' ya.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Holy Crap, I found it, ya'll! (I'll take The Rapist for $200)


Via Funnordie.com
First and foremost, I do not own this effing hilarious video. NBC does, like we didn't know that.

Do y'all even KNOW how hard and long ("That's what your mother said, Trebek!") I've looked for my favorite SNL "Celebrity Jeopardy" skit?

Ohhhh. Good times. Could David Duchovny been any funnier? I think not.

Oasis are F&*@ing Babies.

Fighty-Dogs, Liam and Noel Gallagher

These two buttholes make me wanna curse something fierce. Seems the naughty Gallagher brothers of Oasis have called it quits (again?).

via The Times Online (London):

"The Britpop pioneers Oasis have split up after Noel Gallagher, the lead guitarist and songwriter, said last night that he was quitting the group.

He and his brother Liam, the group’s lead singer, have long had a tempestuous relationship in the band, which released their first album 15 years ago and helped to lead the Britpop era in the mid-Nineties. It was this brotherly tension that reportedly led to the parting of ways.

Oasis had been due to perform at the Rock en Seine festival in Paris last night, but the crowd were told by Bloc Party, who were due to perform before Oasis, that the band would not be appearing.

Many of the crowd reportedly thought that the announcement was a joke until a message appeared on the big screens saying that Oasis would not be performing due to an “altercation within the band”.

The Scottish singer Amy Macdonald, who was playing in the festival last night, wrote on her Twitter page shortly after 9pm, “Oasis cancelled again with one minute to stage time! Liam smashed Noel’s guitar, huuuge fight!”

In an official statement on the band’s website, Noel, 42, wrote last night: “It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.

In an interview with NME magazine this month, Liam was asked if he would oppose Noel taking time off from the band to pursue a solo career. He said: “If it makes him happy, yeah, if it makes him happy.

“If it was up to me I’d have six months off and then get straight back in the studio and make records. That’s what I’m in Oasis for. I’m not here to f***ing sit around for five years twiddling my thumbs.”

Liam, 36, had taken to his Twitter page earlier this week to dispel rumours that the band were due to split and to apologise to fans at the V Festival.

As well as paying tribute to the bands who covered Oasis’s slot and apologising for having “given you sh*t” in the past, Liam wrote: “Finally reports in smartarses column about Oasis last British gig ever. The kids talking out his arse, I mean rkids, bware of darkness. LG.”

Liam had revealed earlier this month that he and Noel were no longer on speaking terms and while on tour travelled separately, seeing each other only on stage.

Oasis came to national attention in 1994 with the release of their single Supersonic, which was followed by the album Live Forever, which reached No 1, later that year and (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? in 1995."

I've always referred to these two brats as "fighty-dogs"--you know, when doggies get up on their hind legs and "box" each other, but no one gets hurt? Oh, it sounds ferocious (aahhhhrrr, aahhhhrrr, SNORT!), but it's all in good fun. Having two adult sons of my own, I know how they will fight, then hang out, playing Nintendo like nothing ever happened.

I'm about to cross the pond to have a chat with the Gallagher boys. They both need a good smack on the back of the head, if you ask me.

Get back on the farkin' stage!

Buttholes, I tell ya.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sandra Bullock should fire her stylist. Or herself.

Still with the booties??

Sandra! You're better than this. You only have a few years of being a natural beauty and you go to your own premiere like this? Good gawd.

I refused to jump on the bootie train when everyone started that crap up, and I sure has hell would never have worn them with a dress. Aren't we supposed to eeelooongaaate? It looks like Sandra ran outa the house in black socks.

Sandy's dress makes my head hurt (even more than usual). I think its hideousness speaks for itself. I cannot go on.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Oh, and Britney? It's time to fix that nasty weave, mmkay?

Bret Michaels?
Is that YOU? Oh. Sorry, Brit.

Miss Britney Jean Spears has been trottin' around with her two little boys (who keep shouting "OH SHIT!" in public, and Mama could not care less, ya'll!) picking up swag for some lame event or another, LOOKING LIKE THIS!!

There are SO many things wrong with this picture, I simply do not know where to begin. I swear that Brit-Brit procures (that's a big word for Miss Thang) her straw weave from her l'il sister's horsey barn back in Looziana. Just look at that crap. Then there's the back fat without a bra to accentuate the problem. Wow. Oh, then let's add that upper-arm snakey thing left over from "I'm a SLYYVE Fer Ya'll...Kitty, Kitty. Kitty Kitty".

God. I have one word and two numbers for you: Impending 5150. Okay. That was mean. Psych. (Oops. I did it again.)

Lame, I know.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Burger King Manager Threatens to Call Police Due to BARE BABY FEET!


"You can order To Go, but you cannot have your baby with bare feet inside the restaurant".

What. The. CRAP?


SUNSET HILLS, MO (via KTVI - FOX2now.com) - No shoes, no shirt, no service: there is word that the manager of a St. Louis County restaurant threatened to kick out a six-month old baby and her mother because the baby wasn't wearing shoes. The infant's mom says the restaurant is taking the policy too far. Jennifer Frederich said the manager of the Sunset Hills Burger King at 10734 Sunset Hills Plaza cited 'health concerns'.

Frederich said her daughter, Kaylin, was too young to even get her feet dirty; she couldn't walk, couldn't crawl, her feet still pretty much too small for shoes.

"Everybody loves baby feet," she said.

Yet she said those feet nearly got the baby, her mom and her grandmother, booted from the restaurant, as grandma was holding Kaylin at the counter and the cashier took their order.

"The manager was standing next to him said, 'you can order "to go" but you're going to have to leave if she doesn't have shoes on'. He said, 'it's against health code'," Frederich said.

Frederich said she was taking her church youth group to the Rock the River concerts under the Gateway Arch, Sunday; she, her mother, daughter, and about 25 others, stopped at the Burger King on the way; Frederich's mother went in with the baby first; then Frederich came in with the rest of the group.

"The guy was still saying, 'that lady is still here with that baby without shoes'," Frederich said. "I just looked at him and I said, 'that's my daughter. She doesn't own shoes. She's only 6 months old'... she doesn't walk. She's not touching the ground. So there's no reason for her to have shoes on."

Still, a sign on the door did say, "shoes and shirt required". So, Frederich said she put socks on the baby in an effort to comply; but the manager threatened to call police, so the group ate hurriedly and left."

All of you who know me just KNOW how I would've reacted to this, had it been me with my grandson, Felix (whose feet are shown above). I'd be on Nancy Grace, Jane Velez-Mitchell, The View, Larry King, Oprah, (only the best for Felix's toes!), knocking Michael Jackson off of the top story for the day.

Where's my fire extinguisher? My hair's on fire again.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Janet Jackson Appears on BET Awards for Brother, Michael




Janet's appearance was the only highlight of the BET Awards tonight. God, Jamie Foxx makes me sick. There. I said it. I was Twittering...wait...TWEETING during the show and all of a sudden I hear that dumbass Jamie say that Michael belonged to "them"--meaning ONLY African Americans--and they just "shared Michael" with everyone else. You know what, Jamie? Fuck you. I've already been down this road once before when Luther Vandross died and another African American artist said virtually the same thing in an article in Rolling Stone Magazine. I was so angered by this kind of divisive philosophy that I wrote to Rolling Stone Magazine--and was published.



That's right. Janet Jackson is the artist I was referring to...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Brad and Angelina SPLIT? What the??

Were The Golden Couple faking it at Cannes?

Honestly. Who knows? On the one hand it's the "National Enquirer" reporting this crap, and on the other that rag been RIGHT way too many times. John Edwards knows this all too well.

So. It's a wait and see, but as much as I love these two, I do think it's inevitable, don't you? I do think it's odd they are both filming movies right now. Didn't they used to make a big deal of never working at the same time so the family could stay together? So here's a bit of the story from "The Enquirer":

"Hollywood's most glamorous power couple - who never married despite having six children - have grown tired of trying to gloss over their problems following five tumultuous years together, say sources.

Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider.

"They will make it official. It looks like Brad will be shooting two movies in California and in the Amazon, while Angelina is retreating to their French chateau with the rest of the family.

"It's an official split."

I swear to God, if that nut Aniston starts sniffing around Brad, I'll puke.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Ugh. Kate Gosselin Again?

You know you want it.

Yeah, two posts about this nut in as many days, but this is just proof of how nutty Kate8 (that's what I call her) truly is. She thinks "everybody" wants her hairdo. Holy crap.

"Kate says her spiky bob hairstyle reflects her feisty personality.“It’s my attitude! Everybody wants it.” she tells Entertainment Weekly.But not everybody can pull it off.“I have very, very thick hair, so it’s not going to work for everybody,” she says. “I’ve seen people come through the book line with thin hair and it’s just won’t work. My hair stylist gets calls from all across the country.”

James, my darling stylist and owner of Sugardaddy's Salon, how do YOU feel about this statement?