I'm watching The Dark Knight AGAIN...and I love it even more.

LOVE. THIS. SCENE.

I effing love this movie---STILL. And I'm not afraid to say I was on the Joker's side part of the time. ForpitySAKE, he's the only one who had a gotdamn sense of humor. You know I'm right.

I also felt some weird deep empathy for The Joker in the clip above. I see and hear the pain in his voice.. I know. I'm a freak and I admit it. 

So yeah. Hannibal Lecter, The Joker and me...in my darkest dreams.

 

Don't be afraid....HAHAHHAAHAAA!

Empire Magazine's 20th Anniversary - Iconic Photos

Y'all KNOW I'm swooning over this one.

Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster

as Hannibal and Clarice from Silence of the Lambs

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman

in American Psycho.

"Ohmygod. There's even a watermark."

 

 Ahhhnold as the Terminator

 

Those Harry Potter kids.

 Guilty as charged. Just another reason to mention two of my favorite movies: Silence of the Lambs and American Psycho. Honestly? I've never seen Empire Magazine at the newsstand. (Read: Safeway or Walmart's magazine rack.)

Annette? If you call me a freak again....oh, never mind. You're right. 

 

 

What the goddamnhell is Courtney Love doing with Hugo Chavez??

"Rrrrrico. Chavez."

What???

This picture makes me sick on so many levels. Courtney crawled out of her coffin to attend crazy-face Oliver Stone's film about Taco Bell, "South of the Border". (That is what it's about, right?) And look who she ended up with--Hugo-Freakin' Chavez, that crazy dictator from Venezuela. I'm surprised the earth didn't implode.

via NY Daily News:

"Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday's screening of Oliver Stone's new documentary, "South of the Border." The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

"It was the third wink that sold me," Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas!"  WHATthegoddamnhell????

I'm busy flipping through the Yellow Pages in search of the nearest vomitorium. Repeat after me: Oliver Stone. Courtney Love. Hugo Chavez.

Last one to puke is a rotten egg.

Oh dear. The nun's didn't enjoy Lada Gaga's MTV VMA performance. Whaaaa?

Lady Gaga performing "Paparazzi" 

at the VMAs last weekend

No. I simply cannot believe that Catholic nuns didn't quite care for Lady Gaga's performance piece (which is what it was, in every sense) on Sunday night's MTV VMAs. (Eyeroll.)

via whyfame.com:

"Finally somebody takes attitude against Lady Gaga’s behavior! Her own fans were freaked out by her bloody appearance at MTV Music Video Awards while singing her ‘Paparazzi’ hit. Note that Gaga’s fans are mostly teens, (I think most of her fans are the gays and they GOT it!!) so imagine what this new deadly-sexy singer teaches the little ones. Beside them, Gaga’s former teachers were shocked!

If you didn’t know, Lady Gaga (on her real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) was matriculated for several years, guess where…in New York, at the Convent of the Sacred Heart girls school, New York Post reports. So she was preparing to be a nun!!!

“When someone showed the nuns a video of her bloody performance at the VMA Awards, the good sisters were not amused”, the report added."

Ummm...whose bright idea was it to show this to the nuns in the first place? What they don't know about their former student won't hurt them, I always say. (Actually, I don't always say that.)

My point is: It was a METAPHOR, people!! Well, kind of a literal metaphor, if you will. Stars have a love/hate relationship with the paparazzi and Lady Gaga's performance, I felt, was brilliant. It was kind of, "yeah, chase me, wound me, leave me alone, chase me, oh dear, you killed me" sort of statement. You can't tell me Lindsay Lohan doesn't love every. Goddamned. Second. of her time with the paps--we all know she even tips them off as to her whereabouts. It's almost as though she's got a deep-seated deathwish so that she will become iconic like her tragic idol Marilyn or Michael Jackson. (I got my Psych Degree from Sears, fyi.)


Then we do have the Princess Diana side of things, don't we? She, too, manipulated the European press and paps, but they (and a drunk chauffer) killed her in the end.


The performance certainly required discussion between kids or teens and their parents--but the nuns most definitely didn't need to watch it, forPITYsake.

 

The Jackson Family is Not Pleased with TV Coverage from Choppers During Funeral

 Janet, Randy and Jermaine Jackson

at Michael's funeral last night.

Yeah, I'm shocked, too, that the Jackson's didn't appreciate CNN and other news organizations having the nerve to fly over Michael's funeral at Forest Lawn last night. HA! You know why, don't you? Because they plan on selling a dvd and/or show excerpts on their upcoming TV show, forpitysake. It has NOTHING to do with privacy. (I'm excluding Janet from this entire rant, by the way.) 

If Joe and Jermaine had their way, Michael would've been buried at that garish Grace Neverland and everyone knows it--even though Michael never wanted to go back to that place. Thank goodness Mother Katherine and the Jackson women stood up to them.


Seriously, if that family wanted "privacy", they would have buried him right after the coronor returned Michael's brain to his head. They never would have told media outlets when the funeral would be held. 

How stupid do the Jackson men think we are? Because I know exactly how stupid they are. Hmmph.

That Duggar Woman is Pregnant Again.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, gooood. I don't know why the news of Michelle Duggar getting pregnant again annoys me so much, but it really does ("it was a surprise!"), The very sound of her voice makes me angry.

via HuffPo:

"The Duggar family of TLC fame just announced that they are expecting their 19th child. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar currently have 18 children ranging from 0 to 21 years old and a grandchild on the way, making it pretty clear that their kids intend to follow in their pregnancy footsteps.

The Duggars live in northwest Arkansas and can be seen on TLC's hit "17 Kids and Counting" "18 Kids and Counting" "19 Kids and Counting." Assuming they make it to 20 kids and stop, and assuming each of their kids have the same amount of children (which are both big 'ifs') how long until those with Duggar blood take over America?"

I'm getting more and more creeped out by Michelle and Jim's cult, er, family. The matchy-matchy clothing, vacant stares, goody-goody appearances...

GAAAAAH....the Duggar Compund.

Horrifying.

Victoria Beckham's ad for her 2009 dress collection at Bergdorf-Goodman looks like a horror movie...

Eeeegads. Watch this weirdness til the very end. Creepy little Vicks is watching. Those skinny bitches better not stop swinging. Ever.

Michael Jackson may be finally laid to rest on his birthday at Forest Lawn?

The Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Cemetary

Will Joe and Jermaine set up shop outside Forest Lawn?

"Getcher Michael Jackson Funeral Memorabilia, ya'll!"

Let's see. The words TRAINWRECK, MEDIA CIRCUS, JACKSON FAMILY STREET VENDORS, INC. come to mind now that it's been announced that Michael will finally be rolled out of that freezer he's been cooped up in and actually buried. It's being said that Michael will be laid to rest in the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Glendale, California.

If the Jackson Family thinks for one minute that that fans, paparazzi, media outlets and waaaay too may helicopters flying overhead won't be there for this "private" funeral, they are all insane.

All Kinds of Michael Jackson Crap and Rumors

Yikes

A jar of noses? (Isn't that the name of a band?) A closet full of drugs, namely the Propofol? Dr. Conrad Murray calling his office to seek and destroy MJ's records from a storage unit before having someone else call 911 -- because Michael was already dead, then telling the paramedics unit NOT to declare him dead because he had "higher medical authority than the EMTs"? The paramedics not even recognizing Michael, saying he looked like a "frail old man"? Good Lord.

This story gets worse every. Single. Day. Oh, yeah. They found a shitload of money (CASH!) belonging to Michael in some other dude's possession. Actually, he turned it in...but still.

Think this mess can't get any worse? Just wait. I swear to God, though. I better NOT see any photos of MJ's body from the L.A. County Coroner's Office. A bunch of a-holes went in to gape at Michael's corpse and then blab to the tabloids about its appearance. Gross. I don't wanna hear about it, read about it and I better not see it. Ya hear me talkin' to ya?

I'll say it again. Those poor kids (aka The Jackson 3, if Gramps has his way).

Jon Gosselin, you know--that creepy dude in the Ed Hardy t-shirt.

"Here's to Kate, because without HER,
I wouldn't be in St. Tropez with my girlfriend!"

How to spot a Complete Douche:
Hairplugs, ciggie, tarty-girlfriend and an Ed Hardy t-shirt!

Yeeesh. Ick. Nast. All that shit. I've been putting off writing this blog for two days now, but my eyeballs keep getting scorched with photos of King Douchebag Jon Gosselin in St.-freaking-Tropez, of all places. Jesus H. I'll bet his wildest dreams never even knew this place existed and now he's trotting around the South of France as if he's George Hamilton.

"Jon is meeting with Christian Audigier, one of the bigwigs of the Ed Hardy clothing line. And Hailey is there for more than just fun - we've learned she wants to launch her own line of shoes and sandals so Jon promised her a meeting with the Ed Hardy people!

Hailey is the daughter of Kate Gosselin's doctor Lawrence Glassman, who performed Kate's tummy tuck. Hailey is 22, Jon is 32. (And Kate had her tummy-tuck how long ago?? This crap has been going on for a good while, ya'll.)

Hailey was busted by cops for possession of marijuana, hashish and hashish oil in 2005 and a male friend described her as "one of the most wild women I've ever met."

On May 24 Jon and Hailey were caught slipping into the Bourbon Street bar in Nyack and were caught on surveillance tapes obtained by Radaronline enjoying drinks. As they left Jon was spooked by a photographer out front and fled through the back alley, cell phone in hand. By then, Hailey told pals, she and Jon had been secretly dating "for several months."

Honestly. How many more kids do I have to worry about now? Jon and Kate's EIGHT children and Michael Jackson's THREE children. And lest we forget, Michael Jackson was renting the Ed Hardy dude's house when he died. See how it all comes full-circle?

LaToya Jackson thinks Michael was murdered. Here we GO, ya'll.

Let the finger-pointing BEGIN!

As usual, LaToya Jackson is not making sense. She's claiming that all the hanger's on (at least some of them..or one of them?) wanted Michael dead because he was "worth more dead than alive".

via The New York Daily News:

"Michael Jackson's grieving sister La Toya said in an extensive interview that there were four fresh needle marks on the King of Pop's neck when he died - and that she believes her brother was murdered.

"Less than a month ago, I said I thought Michael was going to die before the London shows because he was surrounded by people who didn't have his best interests at heart," La Toya Jackson, 53, told the Daily Mail.

"I believe Michael was murdered," she said. "I felt that from the start. Not just one person was involved, rather it was a conspiracy of people."

She also revealed:

• Michael regularly kept up to $1 million in cash and a vast collection inside his home, none of which has been found.
• There was an intravenous drip setup beside his bed, and oxygen canisters lined up along the walls.
• Michael did not want to do the planned "This Is It" concert series in London, but he was coerced into it.

La Toya describes how she took her brother's children, Prince Michael, 12, Paris, 11, and 7-year-old Blanket, to see their father's body on the day he died. (GAAH! Those poor kids!!)

Paris stood over him and placed a necklace around Jackson's wrist and colorful stones on his body.

The fate of the children will be decided at a custody hearing later this month. Jackson's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, plans to attend the hearing, according to People.com."

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/michael_jackson/2009/07/12/2009-07-12_la_toya_jackson_they_murdered_my_brother_michael_jackson.html#ixzz0L4j6tfFL&D

Ummm, LaToya? Those hangers-on that you are speaking of would have been losing their meal tickets, had they wanted to murder Michael. Your family--namely your paternal unit, JOE, seems to be the one trying to make more money now that his son has died. Did you see the $200,000 he charged "Good Morning America" for "licensing fees" last week? Usually network interviews go completely unpaid.

No one else will benefit from Michael's death other than his family (and hopefully his three children, for the most part). Members of Jackson family were all up in his rented home the day after he died--in between LAPD visits. I'm not pointing fingers at the Jacksons at ALL. LaToya needs to keep her mouth shut until all the reports are back.

Here comes the CRAZY.

Michael Jackson's Body to be Taken to Neverland Ranch for Funeral

Michael Jackson's Funeral to be Held at Neverland Ranch

Is the west coast going to have its own Graceland? Sounds like it. Michael Jackson's body will be brought back to Neverland Ranch as early as Thursday of this week. There will be a public viewing and well as a private funeral this weekend.

via TMZ:

"We've just learned Michael Jackson's body is set to be driven to Neverland Ranch late Thursday morning.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ upwards of a 30 car motorcade -- including Jackson's body -- will be traveling from Los Angeles to Neverland at 10 AM on Thursday.

We're told law enforcement is currently meeting to discuss security and traffic control. Our sources say plans are in the works for a public viewing to take place on either Friday or Saturday."

This story doesn't surprise me at all. Just more ways for the Jackson family to continue to mooch of Michael, if in fact, they do bury Michael at Neverland. I wonder if they will charge for tickets to enter the viewing of the body.

I'm just sayin'.

Oh, Those Poor Jackson Children...and Thank the Lord, Joe Jackson Left Out Of Will.

Paris and Prince Michael I

Prince Michael II, aka "Blanket"

Hold on to your effin' hats, ya'll. Neither Michael Jackson nor Debbie Rowe are the biological parents of Prince Michael Jackson I and Paris Jackson. Debbie underwent IVF both times. It's unknown if Prince Michael II is Michael's biological son, either. Custody lawsuits much? Oh boy. Ya'll thought the Anna Nicole situation was bad? You just wait. Michael was right when he said, "You ain't seen nothin' yet". According to The Wall Street Journal (seriously?) and TMZ (makes more sense):

"We've learned Michael Jackson was not the biological father of any of his children. And Debbie Rowe is not the biological mother of the two kids she bore for Michael. All three children were conceived in vitro -- outside the womb.

Multiple sources deeply connected to the births tell us Michael was not the sperm donor for any of his kids. Debbie's eggs were not used. She was merely the surrogate, and paid well for her services in the births of Michael Jr. and Paris.

In the case of Prince Michael II (the youngest), we're told the surrogate was never told of the identity of the "receiving parent" -- Michael Jackson. Three days after Prince was born at Grossmont Hospital in San Diego County, Jackson's lawyer came to the hospital to pick the baby up and deliver him to Michael.

We do not know if Jackson chose the sperm or egg donors or if he even knew who they were."

We can all breathe a sigh of relief that Joe (Monster) Jackson was left out of Michael's will:

:As we reported yesterday, attorney John Branca has the will and plans to file it with the court within 30 days of the singer's death. According to the will, Jackson reportedly left his estate -- estimated at $1 billion -- to his mother, three children and one or more charities.

As for why Joe was left out -- Jackson has said during his childhood his father beat him."

I'm going to have to increase my B12 and ginko biloba vitamin intake because I just I don't have the energy to listen to years of this family's legal woes. It's going to be a circus and a trainwreck all rolled into one. Get in line for your tickets, ya'll, because Joe WILL be asking for your money.

Joe Jackson is a Complete Monster

Joe Jackson, hawking his new record label

Okay. It's not just ME on this one. I watched CNN's Don Lemon on the red carpet at the BET Awards last night. There had been rumors of a member of the Jackson Family attending the BET's last night, and I could feel the collective eyeroll when we all saw that it was Father Joe. (Janet showed up as the real surprise at the end of the telecast.)

Ugh. Joe is clearly intent on making a Big Show out of his son's death. I've said before that everyone deals with death and will mourn in their own way; how-bloody-EVER. For the patriarch of the family to go on live TV and start blathering on about his new record label...WHAT?? I suppose we shouldn't be terribly shocked by Joe's demeanor. He's done nothing but use his kids, Michael specifically, as a vehicle for financial gain. I'm just amazed he was so brazen about his plans to make more money off Michael's name by starting some new venture, and speaking publicly about it less than 72 hours after his son's shocking death.

There are tons of stories going around about Michael's death. Autopsy records are being leaked, faked and reported. The LAPD left Michael's rented house in Bel Air carrying bagfuls of drugs. Brian Oxman, who is the Jackson Family's former attorney, is stating that Michael had a real problem with drugs and this is cooberated by spiritualist and friend of Michael's, Deepak Chopra. They both say that Michael was indeed addicted to many prescription drugs.

Michael's mother, Katherine Jackson has retained a temporary guardianship over Michael's three children. No one even knows if Debbie Rowe, the biological mother of the two oldest kids, is interested in a relationship with the children or not.

Here's my quick prediction. We'll be talking about Michael's death for many, many months to come. When the shock and pain wears off, we'll be seeing some really ugly behavior from the Jackson family and their hangers-on. Look forward to "exclusive" interviews, tell-all books, lawsuits...this will not end peacefully.

Happy 43rd Birthday Lindsay Lohan!!

Lindsay looks raggedy, ya'll.

Oh. She's 23?? Jesus Chri--oh. It's Sunday. I'll try to keep the swearing and taking the Lord's name in vain to a minimum, but What. The. EFF?? First of all, WHAT the goddamnedhell (I can't help it) is she wearing?? Those are some hideous hooves, ya'll. And is that a swimsuit?

As usual, Lindsay's looking fit, well-fed, healthy and clean. Right? RIGHT???

Megan Fox in Germany. Meh.

Megan Fox, The Faux Angelina

Megan decided to wear the same shoes Angie wore here at Cannes.

Angie's elegance vs. Megan's tackiness--
YOU DECIDE.

If you guys even knew just how many hits this blog gets per day, looking for "Megan Fox, Thumbs", you'd be amazed. It's the strangest thing ever. People are freaking obsessed with the faux Angelina's weird-ass "clubbed" thumbs. (Great. Now just mentioning this subject, I'll get even MORE hits from it--GAHHH!)

ANYfreakshow. Here's Megan in Berlin, pimping her new "Trannyformers" movie.

Oh all RIGHT. Here's another photo of the "perfect" Megan's thumbs for you fetishists out there:

Ya happy now??

Today's Blind Item!!

"Which aging actress has stayed away from the spotlight of late because she tried to inject her own lips with vegetable oil during a drunken night?" [BlindGossip]

What a NUT. There are so many puffy-lipped aging actresses, I don't know where to begin! Melanie Griffith? Faye Dunaway? Just how drunk do you have to be to shoot Crisco oil into your own lips?

Tori Spelling Makes Me Hork Up Bile.

Cokehead Barbie with melted boobies!
By Mattel!

You know what? I don't feel good. I've had this goddamned flu/cold/or whateverthehell I have for almost three weeks. My throat is bright red and my left ear feels like hot needles are stabbing the eardrum. So the LAST thing(s) I wanna see before I shut down this burning laptop for the evening are Tori Spelling's deformed, lopsided, hard and cracked up silicone boobs. Look what it did to her kid! He passed the eff OUT.

Honestly, Tori. Your mom won't talk to you because she doesn't recognize your ass. Not even when you're sitting across the table from her at The Ivy...she has NO. IDEA.

Put down the chopped straw that you hide in your purse, and EAT. Then go get those tits FIXED. Jesus H.

9 1/2 Too Many Plastic Surgeries...Each.

"Mickey? Is that YOU?"

Mickey and Kim at the premiere of

The Informer in L.A.

"Elizabeth" and "John"

Here's what sequel we DON'T want:

9 1/2 Weeks Til Retirment in Scottsdale

Holy LORD, look at these two! Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger (who were both quite sexy back in the day...1986, to be exact), when 9 1/2 Weeks was released. Man, remember "John" and "Elizabeth" from the film? Just check them out now; re-hydrated, stretched out and sewn-up prune-faces, I tell ya.

I do feel a little guilty having said all that, but jeez. We're ALL thinkin' it! So ANYBotox, Kim apparently wrote Mickey a sweet letter complimenting his work in The Wrestler.

"He recalls, "Coming from her, it was very special and it was very generous and heartfelt letter. It brought me to tears, really."

The pair reunited for the first time in 23 years on the red carpet at the premiere for their new movie The Informers in Hollywood on Thursday, and Rourke admits he was very nervous about meeting the screen beauty again.

He says, "We had no screen time together in the movie (The Informers), so I was very nervous. I hadn’t seen her in 23 years."

I think this was actually a big deal because I understand she hated his ass during the filming of 9 1/2 Weeks. So much so that she supposedly was terrified and crying during a sex scene in an alley. 'Member that part?

"Married to the Eiffel Tower: More Objectum Sexuals". Wait. MORE?

"I now pronounce you, ummm..."

I saw probably the most fascinating/troubling show on BBC America the other night. Those of you who follow my Twitter ramblings know what I'm talking about. "Married to the Eiffel Tower" made my jaw drop. It takes a lot to shock me. I really thought I had heard it all, in terms of sexual preferences or fetishes. But this threw me for a loop. I was appalled, yet I felt such a combination of empathy and pity toward these women. They seem perfectly fine with all of this, seemingly, bat-shit craziness. They're not really hurting anyone (maybe just annoying or grossing people out?).

Please do join me in my rubber-necking:



The Times TV critic, Tim Teeman writes:

"Erika La Tour Eiffel had married the Parisian landmark the previous year. Revisiting the girders where the ceremony took place, clutching her wedding veil, she gyrated against the structure. She could feel the cold of the Tower meeting the warmth of her body to produce an "equilibrium". But if object-love really was like human love, then Erika was putting it about a bit, because she was also having a torrid time with the Golden Gate Bridge and the Berlin Wall, fragments of which she called "my boys"; the Eiffel Tower she called "she" - maybe she is a bisexual objectum sexual.



At the Golden Gate Bridge she agonised about the two of them ever being alone, what with the traffic and sight-seers. "Our love is no different than the love between two beings," she claimed. Erika wanted to be an object, not human; her friend Amy was proud never to have been touched by another person (although she did hug Erika).



Amy was in love with the Twin Towers and the Empire State Building, whose flank she nuzzled and whispered sweet nothings to, until a security guard asked her to clear off. So she started loudly exclaiming her devotion - "Chaaaa-CHAAAAA!" - instead. Asperger's and autism were mentioned as possible conditions underlying the women's passions, but the only thing they shared was a history of abuse and abandonment. Erika had been discharged from the Armed Forces for refusing to stop sleeping with a ceremonial sword. On the streets of New York, with its riotous sensory overload, the women were almost delirious."



"Erika said she felt like the Berlin Wall. She mused that someone must have loved the Wall to bring it into the world; what made them not love it now? Political history meant nothing to her, the Wall was a simple victim of neglect. She didn't care if people called her "cuckoo", and while the programme could have easily done that and turned the women’s stories into a guffaw-a-minute freak show, somehow it strove for understanding. There should have been easy laughs, but instead it was moving - particularly when a priest counselled Amy after finding her sexually communing with his altar rail. This was absurdity not treated absurdly - and the Empire State Building did look mighty thrusting and fine."



So. That's your Sex Ed Lesson of the Day. Thoughts, class? Oh, there will be a test.