Roman Polanski is caught by Chris Hansen on "To Catch a Predator"--lured by the sweet tea!

I know this supposed to be funny; I mean, I think it is. EVERYONE wants to see Roman Polanski questioned by Chris Hansen from To Catch a Predator on NBC. This mash-up of an old interview with the serial pedophile and "respected auteur" along with bits of Chris Hansen doing his best "I'm Chris Hansen".  Funny stuff.


What's not so funny is how un-effing-remorseful Polanski seems.  He's NOT sorry, and feels he's done his time. After all, he can't help it that he has a thing for young girls. What's the problem??


God, I hate this piece of shit. I'd like to post the most current list of pro-child molesters in Hollywood (WHAT? Isn't that what they are??) for your perusal.

Isn't it ironic that even though it's an alphabetized list, Woody Allen is FIRST?

Woody Allen, Pedro Almodovar, Monica Bellucci, Gael Garcia Bernal, Bernardo Bertolucci, Ethan Coen, Robert Cohen, Penelope Cruz, Jonathan Demme, Stephen Frears, Terry Gilliam, Buck Henry, David Heyman, Larry Levine, David Lynch, Michael Mann, Jeanne Moreau, Alexander Payne, Brett Ratner, Isabelle Ruh, Julian Schnabel, Martin Scorsese, Tilda Swinton, Julie Turcas, Isabelle Adjani, Harrison Ford, Taylor Hackford, Isabelle Huppert, Jeremy Irons, Neil Jordan, Sam Mendes, Camille Meyer, Mike Nichols, Natalie Portman, Salman Rushdie, Kristin Scott Thomas, William Shawcross, Steven Soderbergh, Diane von Furstenberg, Margaret Walker, Scott Foundas

via (LA Weekly).

Eff ALL of you. We'll see how supportive you artistes are if your child is the victim of molestation--and judging by the size of the list, I'd say someone's kid already has been given that lovely opportunity. Nice.

Oh dear. The nun's didn't enjoy Lada Gaga's MTV VMA performance. Whaaaa?

Lady Gaga performing "Paparazzi" 

at the VMAs last weekend

No. I simply cannot believe that Catholic nuns didn't quite care for Lady Gaga's performance piece (which is what it was, in every sense) on Sunday night's MTV VMAs. (Eyeroll.)

via whyfame.com:

"Finally somebody takes attitude against Lady Gaga’s behavior! Her own fans were freaked out by her bloody appearance at MTV Music Video Awards while singing her ‘Paparazzi’ hit. Note that Gaga’s fans are mostly teens, (I think most of her fans are the gays and they GOT it!!) so imagine what this new deadly-sexy singer teaches the little ones. Beside them, Gaga’s former teachers were shocked!

If you didn’t know, Lady Gaga (on her real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) was matriculated for several years, guess where…in New York, at the Convent of the Sacred Heart girls school, New York Post reports. So she was preparing to be a nun!!!

“When someone showed the nuns a video of her bloody performance at the VMA Awards, the good sisters were not amused”, the report added."

Ummm...whose bright idea was it to show this to the nuns in the first place? What they don't know about their former student won't hurt them, I always say. (Actually, I don't always say that.)

My point is: It was a METAPHOR, people!! Well, kind of a literal metaphor, if you will. Stars have a love/hate relationship with the paparazzi and Lady Gaga's performance, I felt, was brilliant. It was kind of, "yeah, chase me, wound me, leave me alone, chase me, oh dear, you killed me" sort of statement. You can't tell me Lindsay Lohan doesn't love every. Goddamned. Second. of her time with the paps--we all know she even tips them off as to her whereabouts. It's almost as though she's got a deep-seated deathwish so that she will become iconic like her tragic idol Marilyn or Michael Jackson. (I got my Psych Degree from Sears, fyi.)


Then we do have the Princess Diana side of things, don't we? She, too, manipulated the European press and paps, but they (and a drunk chauffer) killed her in the end.


The performance certainly required discussion between kids or teens and their parents--but the nuns most definitely didn't need to watch it, forPITYsake.

 

Update on DJ AM - Survivor's Guilt and PTSD

RIP, DJ AM

Travis Barker from Blink 182

Just a quick follow-up on the death last week of DJ AM. I don't think anyone can know what was going on in his head when he relapsed, and ultimately died from what seems to be an overdose of crack cocaine and pain meds.

via MSN.com

"After living through the terrible ordeal of the plane crash that took the lives of four of his friends in September 2008, Adam Goldstein, or DJ AM, suffered from Survivor Guilt. Although he and friend Travis Barker from Blink 182 managed to get out of the plane, they received severe burns. Despite being alive, DJ AM could not shake the feelings of sorrow for the fate of his friends that perished on the plane.

In an email that was sent last October, shortly after the crash, DJ AM expressed his feelings of guilt that he survived while others did not. The recipient of the email shared it with Radar. Here is a sample of what DJ AM said: "I had no idea of how the survivors guilt could have felt. I'm a mess though man. I just hope time will fix this depressed feeling asap. I can't go on being this miserable." Survivor guilt is a mental condition in which a person perceives himself to have done wrong by surviving a traumatic event. It may also be described as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

This event makes me wonder if DJ AM had actually taken care of his mental health after surviving the plane crash last year (with Blink 182's Travis Barker). I would guess he didn't. Survivor's guilt is a real condition and is accompanied by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I certainly hope Travis is involved in some sort of intensive psychotherapy at this point, even though he's on tour. This is just another blow to a fragile psyche (of a musician going through a nasty and public divorce, no less). We really don't need or want to hear any more bad news...

Travis? Please take care of yourself.

Oh GURRLL. Oprah's Got Whitney.

Oprah. Will she ask Whitney the tough questions?

The Bobby Years

Almost...but not quite.

HELL YEAH.
THIS is the Whitney we want back.

Oprah Winfrey will start a new season on Sept. 14 with a Whitney Houston interview.

Winfrey calls it "the most anticipated music interview of the decade." Hmmm. Is it, though? Will Oprah ask what we really want to know about Whitney and her crazy-ass behavior for the past 10 years? I almost think Anderson Cooper would ask the tough questions...but that's why Whitney's going with Oprah.

On The Oprah Show, Whitney will receive applause, praise and maybe even get to sing (lipsynch? Have you heard her new single?).

You bet I'll watch it, but I don't expect any huge revelations during Oprah's big coup.

I think Vanessa Hudgens "leaked" (eww) her latest set of crappy nudie phone pictures. NSFW at ALL.

Oh, Vanessa.

via Dlisted (whom I LOVE!!!)

Heavy sigh. Here I am, writing about one of the "Disney Dorks", who are ALWAYS up to the no good. This little hussy, Vanessa Hudgens had nakey, nakey, eggs and bakey photos on the Intranets about 18 months ago. Or so I heard. Or saw. I didn't talk about it then, but I will now--begrudgingly.

Listen UP. I think she's auditioning. We all know that this little snip wants to be Kate Winslet showing her boobies all over the screen, right? She even recently said she'd go nude in a movie...she's just itching to dump her Disney image (I know, "image? What image might that be??").

Oh. How coincidental she's on Jimmy Kimmel tonight, ya'll. Come ON.

Anyway, these photos are obviously Not Safe For Work (NSFW). CLICK HERE to see something we really shouldn't be seeing, if you're so inclined.

Full. Body. Eyeroll.

Penelope Cruz is Pregnant!

I see a bump!

Rumors have been flying around for weeks (months?) that Penna-Lope (as I like to call her) is expecting--and now it seems it's true! It's being reported she's four months into her pregnancy.

Oh, yeah--Javier Bardem is the daddy. I would expect it will be a gorgeous child...as long as it doesn't have that That Haircut, know'msayin'?

Javier Bardem sera un papa!

Lindsay dipped her head in Clorox and got a jobby-job.

Cokehead Barbie got a job!

Ugh. Robert Rodriguez has apparently hired Lindsay to ruin his new movie (based on a fake trailer shown during "Grindhouse") called "Machete". The movie stars Danny Trejo (who is in every single Rodriguez movie), and Michelle (fired from "Lost" chick, alledged lesbian and DUI enthusiast) Rodriguez. Oh dear Lord, this movie is circling the drain before filming has even begun in Austin, Texas in two weeks.

I cannot wait for the cocaine to hit the fan, ya'll.

Joel and Lisa can consider this a wedding present. You're welcome, Lovies. I know how you two love the Lindsay Lohan posts. xoxo ~j

Oh. I'm so shocked. Dr. Conrad Murray admits he gave Michael Jackson the Propofol. Whaaaa? Pssssh.

Um, Dr. Murray? Wipe that smug smile off your face.
You'll soon be in a cell with Bubba.

Oh, and in case you hadn't heard,
this is NOT to be used like
UNISOM, ya'll. Durrrrr.

Didn't I just say this very thing yesterday? Good Lord. I'd charge a lot less than these people investigating this a-hole "doctor". I KNOW things, and everyone should know that by now.

updated 3:19 p.m. PT, Mon., July 27, 2009

LOS ANGELES - Michael Jackson’s personal doctor administered a powerful anesthetic to help him sleep, and authorities believe the drug is what killed the pop singer, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press on Monday.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation is ongoing, said Jackson regularly received propofol to sleep, a practice far outside the drug’s intended purpose. On June 25, the day Jackson died, Dr. Conrad Murray gave him the drug sometime after midnight, the official said.

Murray became Jackson’s personal physician in May and was to accompany him to London for a series of concerts starting in July. He was staying with Jackson in a rented Los Angeles mansion and, according to Chernoff, found an unconscious Jackson in the pop star’s bedroom the morning of June 25. Murray attempted to revive him but could not.

Police searching Jackson’s home after his death found propofol and other drugs, an IV line and three tanks of oxygen in Jackson’s bedroom, and 15 more oxygen tanks in a security guard’s shack.

Propofol can depress breathing and lower heart rates and blood pressure. Because of the risks, propofol is only supposed to be administered in hospitals. Instructions on the drug’s package warn that patients must be continuously monitored, and that equipment to maintain breathing, to provide artificial ventilation, and to administer oxygen if needed “must be immediately available.”

Jackson had trouble sleeping and the official said he enlisted various doctors to administer propofol, relying on the drug like an alarm clock. He would decide what time he wanted to awaken and at the appointed hour a doctor would stop the intravenous drip that delivered the drug, the official said."

All together now: "They're gonna put a bitch in jaaaaaail."

Katy Perry bugs the crap out of me, and, oh--WHATthegoddamnhell is she wearing?

"Why, thank you!"

I really don't enjoy Katy Perry. Oh yeah, I said it. I think she sucks when singing live, first and foremost. Her clothing isn't amusing, it's just dumb. Here's the faux-glamour girl herself on yesterday's Today Show. Ugh.

I have two words for Ms. Perry: NOVELTY ACT. Soon enough you'll find "I Kissed A Girl" next to "The Monster Mash" (they don't bother alphabetizing) in the discount bin at Going Out of Business Sale at your local Sam Goody.

Jada Pinkett-Smith Makes Me Wanna Wretch

OhforPITYsake.

Who is willing to hold my hair back while I puke? These two really need to knock this the eff off. Both of them better call 911, because their pants are SO on fire that I think they are to blame for the Southern California fires. Check out the crap that Jada told Self Magazine:

"When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on."

That is complete and utter crap. Any woman on her way to the OSCARS, would never let anyone (especially her husband?) touch her ass--let alone her FACE prior to the biggest night in Hollywood--especially when she's lookin' for work. Oh, that and the fact they both had just groomed their BEARDS. Know'msayin'??

GLAAD Calls Perez Hilton Out and John Mayer Joins in the Fun!

The very unfunny and stupid, Perez Hilton

Well, now dumbass Perez Hilton has gone and pissed off the folks at GLAAD--and I think they are justified. The more I think about the whole situation with that idiot calling Will.I.Am from the Blackeyed Peas a "f*cking f*ggot", he needs a good tongue lashing. (Ewww. Sorry.)

The L.A. Times is reporting:

"The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is asking the openly gay Perez Hilton to apologize for the derogatory slurs he called Will.i.am, causing Black Eyed Peas general manager Polo Molina to sock the blogger in the eye.

Rashad Robinson, GLAAD's senior director of media programs, said: "These are vulgar anti-gay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, ‘The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,’ is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes.”

I spend a lot (too much?) time reading other blogs and websites, and it really seems that most everyone thinks Perez Hilton was the one who was out of line by calling Will.I.Am these awful slurs. What the hell did he expect? He knew how much it would infuriate Will, and did it deliberately--thinking there would be no ramifications. WRONG, Mario.

Good for GLAAD for stepping up to the plate and calling Perez's fat ass out on his bad behavior. And good for John Mayer (!) for doing the same thing in Twitter; check this out:

Mayer: Perez Hilton's video statement is so long that by the end of it his cut healed.

Perez: That's real funny! Ha ha! And I'm sure you also think I "deserved" to get hit!

Mayer: I also want to train you in an old martial art called "Never Call A Black Dude a F**got Jitsu."

Perez: Dude, I get it. I GET IT. But it's not f**king funny to me. Karma would be me losing my site and going bankrupt or what have u.

And as if the whole world coming down on the sassy blogger weren't enough, Mayer tops off his beef by calling Perez a "dumb sh*t."

I LOVE it.

Proof that Robert Pattinson is an UGMO.

I'm right about this issue.

Check it. Side by side, Robert Pattinson and Jared Leto. This is a great example of just how unattractive that "Twilight" dude Robert Pattinson IS--behold The Leto.

I've hung on to the word "ugmo" since junior high. I think it's fitting and appropriate for the true description of that sickingly pale, squinty goon whom so many females, young and old, are squealing over.

Thank you, Jared Leto for posting this photo on your Myspace, so the world is reminded once again of true beauty.

Newly Discovered LIFE Magazine Photos of Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn seemed so full of hope...

Sweet and un-sullied in 1950

Via The Gawker:


"In 1950 Life photographer Ed Clark received a call from an executive at 20th Century Fox lauding a "hot tomato" the studio had signed. She was an unknown named Marilyn Monroe. Clark photographed her later that year in Los Angeles' Griffith Park. Never-used negatives from the shoot were recently discovered.

Life has put eighteen of the shots on their website, part of an ongoing effort to digitize their entire photo archive. Clark is quoted in one of the captions as saying because she was an unknown at the time, he got to spend a lot of time shooting her in the park, a shoot in which she read poetry during her breaks. The only clue to why the photos were never published comes via an editor's note found with the negatives in the archives that read, "this take was over-developed and poorly printed."

I know I'm not the only woman who relates to Marilyn on some level. Whether it's enduring an abusive childhood or being seen simply as a body or an object, many women feel a sad kinship with Marilyn. She was more than just the icon with her skirt flying up and the bedroom eyes. I've studied and appreciated her since I was 10 years old and felt some sort of strange connection. These photos are indeed a wonderful find. There is a real sweetness in her eyes, that eventually died...before she did.

Photo by the late photographer, Richard Avedon

The light burned out much too soon.

Sigh. Poor Marilyn.

Today's Blind Item: 80's and 90's Style!

Via CDaN:

So, for today I thought we would shoot back in time just a little. Not going to go back to Old Hollywood. We are just going back to those carefree days of the late 80's and early 90's. This A list female entertainer has had an amazing life. She has done just about everything possible in the entertainment world and is one of the most influential entertainers ever. Back in the day, our A lister had just gone through a very messy divorce. But, our actress had needs and loved, loved trolling the Lower East Side of Manhattan for Hispanic guys in her chauffeured driven limo. On one of her forays she found a 17 year old Hispanic guy and took him back to her place where she kept him for a few days until she grew tired of him. Well, it turns out that she gave this teenage boy the gift that keeps on giving. The Herp. Yep. Well, a few months later, our A lister was trolling the same neighborhood and people from the teenager's family recognized the car and before anyone could do anything all of his family pelted her car with trash from their garbage cans. Seems appropriate.

Wow. "Gonna dress you up in my herp....all over, all over". I love that song. I totally heard about this YEARS ago...a certain old blonde with lots of ambition used to creep around Alphabet City in a limo lookin' for Latin boys. I just never heard about the herp part of it. Figures. And I'm surprised that's all she's got. Ewww.

Sorry, Boys.

Today's (Gross) Blind Item.

"Three directors. All A list. Each has had multiple #1 movies. Well I have written about them in this space before and some of their really bad behavior. This one though might even top what I wrote before. Last summer one of them took a trip to Thailand where he enjoyed the services of several women who make their living the old fashioned way. He enjoyed one of them so much that he arranged for her to get a visa so she could intern at his production company. Of course the only thing she was doing was continuing what she had been doing for him back in Thailand. Well, of course the director had to share the good news with the other two. They promptly did the same hing. After three months, they send the women back to Thailand and get brand new ones. If they did the same trick here, one of the women might spill to a tabloid, but with these women they don't have to worry about it. Or so they think." [CDaN]

This is some sort of disgusting behavior. It may be even illegal--prostitution? Human trafficking? (GASP! Hollywood a-holes involved in ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES? Whaaaa?)

My guesses: Quentin Taratino and Oliver Stone have certain, um, preferences in their women. And Brett Ratner, Michael Bay and some other sleazes could be #3.

Disgusting.

Katie Holmes: What the Goddamned Hell is she WEARING??

Oh, come ON, Katie. Really??

At this point, Samantha Ronson is more feminine that Katie!

Okay. This is getting ridiculous. Remember how chic and fabulous Katie was when she was hangin' with Victoria Beckham? Of course, that was before Tom and Xenu scared the Beckhams away--all the way back to Milan and London. Yeeesh. I don't blame them.

The good ol' Posh days...

Remember when Katie dresses like this

strolling down the city streets??

Back to "Kate". What the GDH?? I'm beginning to believe the "rumors" that Tommy-Girl prefers his wife to look like a 12 year old boy. ICK.

"If U Only Knew"...Amazing Hunter Update

Oh. My. God. That's all I can say. Hunter has a new single called, "If U Only Knew". It's a collaberation with an amazing musician from the D.C. area named Man-E. Hunter was given the beats, then composed the melody and performed the vocals--all in two days. The song is completely different than any of his other work, and I LOVE it! Who knew he could do electronica/R&B and hiphop??

Please give a listen. This is some serious shit.

www.myspace.com/huntersstroud

Stinkfoot Suri is in CHARGE, and Romeo Beckham is...

"Take my hand and follow ME, Mommy!"

Oh boy. Stinkfoot has her little Scientolo-brow raised. She's in control of this sitch and she means it. (Of course I must mention she's wearing leggings not tights with those sparkly red shoes = sour-time when they come off.)

Poor little Romeo Beckham looks horrified. "Mum? Why must I play with a toddler? A girl toddler?" I worry a bit for Romeo. What with his uber-metro daddy and crazy-fierce mummy, he really doesn't stand a chance, if you catch my drift. He's not all athletic and butch like his brothers Cruz and Brooklyn. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT...I'm just sayin'.

Katie? Hurry up. My newspaper shoulda been on my stoop two hours ago.

Michael Jackson Makes Me Throw Up In My Mouth...A LOT.

Degenerate freeeeeak.

This news really shouldn't be a shock or surprise to me, BUT. I'm so insanely grossed out by the fact that Pervy McMolesterfield had dozens of statues and mannequins of young boys. GOD! And now, they are up for auction. Pervy tried to keep this nasty list out of public records. Really? I wonder why, you sick mofo.

Here's a sample of some of the various works of art on the 2,952 item list: "boy with accordion," "boy sitting on bricks," "boy w/ baton and hat w/ feathers," "two boys on swing bar," "two boys with ladder," "boys sleeping on bench," " boys milking goat," "boy on a toy car with girl," "boy pulling, 2 boys on a bike," "boy lifting girl," "2 boys sitting on a sunflower," "little boy with turquoise overalls on a stand," "bronze boy and girl hugging," "bronze boy carrying a fruit basket," "boys catching fish." And it goes on and on and on and on ....Jacko also has an item described as "child's upper body mannequin." In fact, he has two of those."

Whoever bids on this shit should be watched...closely by the authori-tahs.

Justin and Jessica: I'm no body-language expert, but...

Ummmm....

I take that back. I am a body-language expert. I should be on TV with my intuition about this shit. Jessica thinks she's such a serious actress and oh, so hot that she can actually pull of the pinched, old biddy look. (Notice how she's using Justin instead of her walker with the tennis balls attached to the front legs. ) Justin, for his part, is trying to blend with her, but hates her for it.

Look for a break-up this summer, ya'll. Yeah, I said it.