Wednesday, October 29, 2008

"How To Be a Troll", by the Olsen Twins

The Lullabye League

So the Olsen Trolls were at a NYC Barnes and Noble signing copies of their coffee table book, "How To Be a Troll Under the Influence", or something like that. Check out the effing RULE BOOK devotees were given in order to be granted an audience with the elves:
1) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will be with us for a limited time. They will only be signing copies of their book, Influence. They will not be speaking, reading or taking questions.

2) Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will NOT sign any memorabilia or product other than Influence. There is a limit of one book per person, and your one book must be purchased here.

3) You will be directed to pay for your book upon entering the store and will be given a receipt for your purchase. Please keep your receipt. You will receive your book at the signing table.

4) Along with your receipt, you will be given a B&N wristband, and then directed to the event space on the 4th floor. You must have a receipt and a wristband to access the 4th floor.

5) Anyone approaching the signing table must have paid for the book and be wearing a B&N wristband. One person, one wristband, one book. They MEAN it, goddamnit.

6) You will collect your signed book at the signing table. If you have paid for any additional copies, a staff member will provide you with those before you exit the space.

7) There is no photography allowed. You must put away your camera or cell phone before approaching the signing table. The authors will not pose for photos. Because Keebler Elves don't show up in pictures, much like vampires.

8) If you leave, or the authors leave, before you are able to collect a signed book, you may present your receipt to a cashier for either an unsigned book or a refund. (Refunds only issued within 14 days of receipt.)

9) There will be no extra signed copies available after the authors leave the store. They will not be able to sign for anyone who is not on line. No pre-orders.
10.) No questions about Mary Kate's involvement with Heath Ledger's death.

Okay, I made that last one up. Just who do these chimps think they ARE?

So WHAT if I secretly hope I get this book for Christmas?!


Jilly said...

Allrighty then...I know what J's getting for Christmas!!
But yes; what exactly have they done that merits more than 15 minutes of fame? If being cute is a recipe for mega-stardom, than James and Felix should be zillionaires!!

susanh4700 said...

Should I consider this to be on your Christmas list since you know I'm here every day?