Last night it dawned on me what a "Mother-in-Law" I have become. I heard myself saying things to Dayna like, "well, of COURSE Felix's belly hurts. He's not consistently given one kind of formula. I always fed my babies the same kind so as not to upset their little systems". Oh God. And (in a baby voice, right in front of Dayna's back) "you don't get enough baths, Felix...do you? Do you?" So he was a little sour-smelling...BIG DEAL. (A friend of mine calls that scent, "Stinky Delicious!) WHAT am I thinking? I'm turning into my ex-mother-in-law who damn near drove me to drink. I STILL get outraged when I think of the things she said and put me through...and here I am, doing the same horrible things to MY precious daughter-in-law.
What is going on here? Do I wish I could have my babies again and maybe do things differently? Am I envious of Dayna's place in the family now? Do I look at her gorgeous, tiny size 2 body right after Felix was born and feel a bit of resentment because I have stretchmarks and loose skin and she doesn't? Was I used to being "the only girl" in a house full of boys? My answer is: Sometimes.
Alex wasn't the only one who fell in love with Dayna five years ago. We ALL did. She's smart, hilarious, beautiful and very hardworking. Because of her I have a darling grandson.
Maybe my being overly self-aware isn't such a bad thing. Now, if only I could keep my pie-hole shut.