Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Paltrow eats turkey and wears fur. The End.

Thanks, but I'll have the brown rice and lentils, Gwynnie.
"Those common Americans will never see this ad campaign!"

Oh Paltrow. You can't hide from me. I found this Tod's ad in my Italian Vogue. Notice the leather AND fur? I hate when celebrities wear the forbidden fur then blame it on the STYLIST. (Ya hear me talking to ya, Kate Winslet?) And THEN, since I subscribed to your retarded blog Poop, I mean Goop (what the hell?) I found this wonderful recipe for Thanksgiving TURKEY. Not tofu hand-molded into a turkey, but a real-live, dead turkey. I looked up "macrobiotic" in the dictionary. You know, the diet plan you're always harping about, Dumb-ass? Seems your stupid diet is "animal cruelty-free". Well, I guess YOU probably didn't slaughter that bird yourself, so you can justify it til you're blue.

Here's Paltrow's misty-eyed Thanksgiving chat:


Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is, without a doubt, my favorite holiday. I love when everyone comes together and celebrates the idea of gratitude, something we all mean to do every day, but seem to lose sight of most of the time. I also love the cooking – the days of planning and chopping and basting. This year, I decided to work out three variations on the traditional meal: a big group, a small gathering and a cozy dinner for two.

Turkey will always be the main event of Thanksgiving (at least in my house) and a whole turkey is the way to go if you’re feeding at least 12. But if your party is smaller, the stuffed turkey breast turns out to be a great halfway point. Brining it overnight insures that you don’t need to baste it and it has a quick cooking time. Why should things be any less festive if dinner is just for two? I came up with these stuffed turkey burgers which were a giant hit in my house. They are the perfect solution for anyone who isn’t feeding a big group (or for a big group that wants to try something different!).

Mostly, make sure that no matter what type of meal you are having, you take a moment to think about how much you do have (health, love, friendship, passion, perspective, appreciation, intellect, reason, kindness) and reflect on how you can share more of it with others.

Gwenyth

Paltrow? I don't care for you. Go share that with others.

Julia

4 comments:

Annette said...

Hmmmmm Paltrow stuffing a turkey? Wouldn't thanksgiving be more interesting if Paltrow stuffed that stupid turkey elsewhere?

DivaJulia said...

Annette: I'd pay cash money to see that.

Jilly said...

Yes Annette; I would also pay good $$ to see that!!
Do we really believe that she cooks her own food?? Hmmm, I'm not buying it.
I'm o.k. with eating meat...but the fur has GOT to go. And I won't be hypocritical about it...I eat meat. Period.

DivaJulia said...

I WEAR FUR. I EAT MEAT...RARE AND BLOODY.