Saturday, May 2, 2009

My Enemy: It's Back.


This will be short.

I'm still in bed, though no longer wanting to be put out of my misery. I went to bed last night, worrying that It was coming back. It did. The hammering of cold, steel rods into my eyes and back of my head. The nausea and throwing up. The feeling of being smashed in the face, across my nose and eyes with a baseball bat is so vivid and ghastly. I haven't had one of these debilitating episodes in just over 18 months. I thought--prayed--I was rid of them. I guess I'm not, and now the fear of this Monster lurking inside my head terrifies me. It really seems to take on a life of its own...I see colors; black and red, churning and spewing inside my eyes and brain. God, I am so scared of another one taking over my life.

Please. Not again.

4 comments:

Annette said...

Sounds like hell. I have a friend who suffers from migraines that sound similar. She only found one pain killer that actually works and it costs over 20 euros for one pill. I'll ask her what it is though. Hope you feel better soon - x

The Zimmerman Gang said...

Hope that you are feeling better.

Annette said...

OK - The stuff my friend takes is ZOMIG. She swears by it and says it's the only thing that works....

DivaJulia said...

Oh dear. I tried Zomig. Didn't work. Honestly, very little DOES help when they are that bad. Stress, combined with horribly raining weather is taking its toll.

Thanks for checking, though. xoxo