I'm still in bed, though no longer wanting to be put out of my misery. I went to bed last night, worrying that It was coming back. It did. The hammering of cold, steel rods into my eyes and back of my head. The nausea and throwing up. The feeling of being smashed in the face, across my nose and eyes with a baseball bat is so vivid and ghastly. I haven't had one of these debilitating episodes in just over 18 months. I thought--prayed--I was rid of them. I guess I'm not, and now the fear of this Monster lurking inside my head terrifies me. It really seems to take on a life of its own...I see colors; black and red, churning and spewing inside my eyes and brain. God, I am so scared of another one taking over my life.
Please. Not again.