Cover Your Eyes! It's Michael Jackson. You've Been WARNED. **UPDATE** U.K. Concerts "Postponed"--AKA "Big Surprise".

Oh Dear Jesus. Help Us.
Remember when we thought this
was a little different?

Oh how I love the the before and afters...I thought I'd switch it up and reverse it this time. You screamed, didn't you??

ANYpreditor. Sounds like MJ is feeling better. Good enough to rehearse for his so-called come-back tour in the U.K. I'll believe it when I see it, how 'bout you?

"He's as healthy as he can be -- no health problems whatsoever," the executive told CNN.

Phillips said he asked Jackson point-blank about the skin cancer rumor yesterday, and the entertainer just brushed it off and laughed.

"He's used to rumors like this. He's been famous ever since he was 5. He doesn't read the newspapers or watch news reports," Phillips explained.

He also had an answer for an item in the British tabloid The Sun that said Jackson had been "making regular trips to a dermatologist in Beverly Hills wearing a mask and surgical cap."

"Michael is very close friends with his dermatologist. It's as simple as that," said Phillips.

According to Phillips, the 50-year-old pop star had passed a stringent physical exam before he and AEG inked their deal for Jackson to headline a 50-show residency at 02 beginning July 8. "And he'll have to take another before the shows start," he offered.

Creep Eeee.

Ummm...I believe I called this yesterday. Check this crap out:

"Dear Customers:

...We are writing to let you know that the 10th July concert that you purchased tickets for at the O2 arena has now been rescheduled for 1st March 2010...We understand the inconvenience this may have caused and for this reason we have secured some excellent hotel deals for Michael Jackson fans travelling to London on these rescheduled dates

8th July will take place on 13th July 2009

10th July will be moved to 1st March 2010

12th July will be moved to 3rd March 2010

14th July will be moved to 6th March 2010

...Thank you for your understanding. Michael, who is directly involved with all aspects of the styling/choreography/band selection and rehearsals, is working around the clock to ensure this is the show to end all shows! We look forward to seeing you on 1st March 2010."

March of 2010??? Way to eff over your weirdo fans from other countries, dude.