Thursday, February 12, 2009

Sober House on VH1 - I Love It; I'm Living It...Ugh. "When Rehab Ends, the Work Begins". Too Bad it's in MY House, Too.

I love this quote from Sober House: "You have your parents' genes in your brain." Oh, and this one: "Why would you go and stay out all night if you hadn't done something wrong?" Awesome. They both hit home in competely different ways...and "I don't wanna talk about it." That was something Hunter said to me when he was two years old: I Don't Wanna Talk About It. Welcome to the passive-aggressive family. It doesn't begin and end with Hunter, by the way.

It's hard to support someone when I feel like I'm going to slip myself. I can get so self-righteous about other people (and not just toward HUNTER--am I coming in clear??), but I am afraid of relapsing myself. I fear for my whole family. I fear for genes being passed on to my 6-month old grandson.

Addiction. Scares. Me.

I'll be fine.


JalissaTaylor said...

Julia, I know a lot of people say this, but I'm here for you if you ever need to vent.

I care for hunter intensely, he has been one of my best friends. I also care for you I know we never really got to get to know each other but hunter used to talk about you so much [even when I was home for break he gabbed about you] and I know your a great woman. And at times I know its nice to let loose to some one who will listen, and I'm a great listener. Even if its not about hunter, I'm here to listen to you whenever.

I can't say I know what your going though. because I feel going through this with hunter is vastly different then me going through this with my brother.

addiction scares me too. Like many people I've gone through addiction. my family is known to have very addictive personalities I'm terrified for my nephew and my future children. Since I've been away I've met new people and some of them are the wrong sort of people for me to be around and I think about how good I used to feel when I used. It crosses my mind so often I think maybe I should go back and start up but, I know that I myself let my urdges control my life when I used. Its not easy you know as well as I do. I guess all I'm trying to say is

Your a Beautiful Strong Woman Julia


- Jalissa

Jilly said...

Stay strong sweetie. I know it's rough, and half the time you feel like you're running off the rails. You've got a whole shitload of people pulling for you and your wonderful family. Text/call/pm/e-mail me whenever you want.