Friday, December 11, 2009

Tiger Woods quits golf "indefinitely"...flees to Sweden?

What are you so pissed about, Tiger??

So, Cheetah Tiger Woods is quittin' the golf for awhile (watch the PGA ratings plummet), so he can beg for his life back with Elin. Rumors are swirlin' around that he's going to Sweden (where Elin may be hiding out) to try and fix things. 

This wasn't just one indiscretion. Tiger is a serial "Transgressor". Is that even a word? Great. He's going to a country where there's nothing but hot blonde chicks, like the gals he hooked up with over and over again.(Not counting that Perkins Pancake House chick he schtupped in the parking lot after having breakfast with Elin and the kids.) Maybe they should go somewhere (Greece? Italy? New Jersey?) where he doesn't have as much temptation. Anyway, here's the Cheater of ALL Cheater's Official Statement:

 via WWTDD per

"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period."

This oughta be good.

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