Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Keira Knightley Doth Protest Too Much

What's worse than a Lollipop Head?
An effing PEZ Head.

There's a myth going around that bulimics are not skinny. I lived with them at Paloma Picasso (aka Casa Palmera; Patrick prefers the other name, so I use it). Now granted, bulimics cannot barf up all of the calories they consume, so either Keira's a BIG FAT LIAR, or she's a BIG FAT LIAR, one of the two. In my "professional" opinion (ahem), I believe Keira is both an anorexic and bulimic. Here she is, over-justifying her eating habits:

"Keira Knightley loves eating chips.
The slender actress says enjoying big meals is one of her favourite pastimes, particularly if they feature fattening French Fries or pasta.
She admitted: “I’m a big foodie. In my family life, all good things revolve around the dinner table. My mum’s cooking is great. We have big dinners, and big everything. There’s nothing like a really good chip, a really crunchy, good chip. And I love pasta. I make Bolognese with tons and tons of Parmesan cheese.”

Despite enjoying cooking, Keira admits her kitchen disasters have occasionally reduced her to tears.

She told Australia’s Marie Claire magazine: “The other night, a friend was teaching me how to make an eggplant bake. I brought it out of the oven in this beautiful bowl - and dropped it. It smashed all over the kitchen, and I burst into tears.”

“But 10 minutes later we were laughing about it. I mean, if I were Nigella Lawson, I would have licked it off the floor very seductively as opposed to bursting into tears.”
I found a website called backinskinnyjeans.com (odd name?), and this is what they had to say about bulimia:
"Bulimics can hide their issue better than anorexics or binge eaters because nothing looks obviously wrong in your body, so people never or can't suspect. But the thing is that bulimia doesn't always work the way you think it will. You can get bloated.
You can't always get ALL the calories out. You lose track of what you ate and what you purged because you've done it so many times on one day.

Towards the end of the day you're tired, you can't think straight, your jaw and throat ache. You might even be worried that you tore your esophagus because you thrust your fingers or toothbrush too hard down your throat that day. Your teeth are starting to get brittle, and your stomach aches like someone has a vice grip on it because you took one too many laxatives this time. It's an ugly and shameful reality of yours. No one knows. At least that is what you believe. "
Keira is going to ruin herself physically and emotionally with this kind of thought process and behavior. Believe me, I know.
Now? It's lunchtime.

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