Hey! There's A City More Miserable Than Seattle?

"Portland, Oregon. Come for the rain,

leave for the suicide."

Apparently, Seattle isn't "miserable" enough to make even the Top Five Most Miserable Cities list. No one freakin' interviewed ME for this survey.

The Oregonian is reporting:

"Leslie Storm, director of an Oregon suicide helpline, is scrambling to find shelter for a cash-strapped 52-year-old man who says he will hang himself by the end of the week.

The man, who could not work for a couple of months because of a medical condition, told Storm that he is behind on his rent and his roommate plans to kick him out Feb. 26. It is the kind of situation she is dealing with more in these days of rising unemployment and evictions.

"He's telling me that he is slipping through the cracks, and it breaks my heart," says Storm, director of the crisis line program of the Oregon Partnership. "He has medical problems and says he can't go live under a bridge."

The Oregon suicide and drug and alcohol help lines received 71% more calls in January 2009 than it did the previous January, including more calls from people having suicidal thoughts because of severe financial stress, Storm said.

To determine the ratings, Business Week looked at calls to a crisis intervention hotline, depression and divorce rates, crime, and even cloudy days - of which there are an average of 222 every year."

I did a little research, because ya'll KNOW how much I love A Research Project. It seems Seattle has an average of 226 days of cloudy/rainy days each year. So, we're just happier about all this GD rain?

Um. No. I think there needs to be an investigation into this so-called "Miserable" list. I'm just as miserable--if not moreso--than those Oregonians.

Oh, it's ON, bitches.