Oh, Kathy Griffin! And Other Teen Choice Awards Crap.

The perfect couple:
Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston
at the Teen Choice Awards

I love Kathy Griffin...I've loved her before all of her plastic surgery and newly-sculpted body. Funny is FUNNY, ya'll.

So here's our girl, with her Big 'n Stupid date, Levi (I-Hate-My-Baby-Mama's-Mama) Johnston at the Teen Choice Awards, which air tonight on FOX. When asked about their "relationship", here's what the couple had to say:

“Long-distance relationships are not easy, especially when he’s in his igloo and I’m in my Hollywood tower.”

When asked what it was like to be Kathy’s date, Levi said “I just, you know, look at her, shut up and do what I’m told.”

Here are a few more pictures of some people I really could not care less about who also attended The Teen Choice Awards:

Sourpuss #1
Rob Pattinson from "Twilight"

Sourpuss #2
Kristin Stewart, from Twilight.
Both of them make me sick.

Kim (I'm-REALLY-JLo-Just-Look-at-My-Big-Ass-Lopez) Kardashian
Blonde??

OhforpitySAKE. HER again.
Nice wifebeater, black bra and heels.

GAAH! Kat von D, from "L.A. Ink"
Just who I would like my TEEN to emulate!

Another plastic surgery enthusiast: Fergie

...and of course, Britney, ya'll!

Wow. It's really saying something when Brit-Brit isn't the sluttiest one on the "green" carpet at an event.

Now I need to go rustle up a hot dish (or casserole, depending on where you live) for the Church Social tonight at 5:30 in the p.m. It's gonna be wild. I may even wear my open-toed shoes!