Bruce and Emma in W Magazine. Brad, Angelina and David and Victoria Did it Better.

Yawwwwn.

Contrived.

Big whoop.

If there is such a notion as "boringly gross", Bruce Willis and his new child bride, Emma have defined it with their photo spread in July's W Magazine.

I'm sure you all recall David and Victoria Beckham doing their own "romantic" layout in the same magazine a couple of years ago, with the iconic British couple in a sweaty, seedy motel in the desert, taking them completely out of their "posh" element.

Then Brad and Angelina did their own photographic layout for W soon after releasing "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". Both of these photo essays told a story, particularly Brad and Angie's. Their story was of a seemingly "perfect" couple's life, complete with triplet boys--but the fictional relationship was any but perfect or normal. It was beautifully photographed with a dark, emotional tension.

This photo says so much more than
a rubber suit and a stainless steel table ever could.

Bruce and Emma's spread in W is a mainstream cliche`...rubber suit? Check. Scary clown? Check. Dominating woman in mask forcing "sex" on helpless old dude? Check.

Good God, people. Come up with something original. Bruce is feeling his age, but is fighting it with a VERY young wife and forcing pictures like these on the public.

Steven Klein photographed all three of these couples for W Magazine. I've seen his work in European magazines and it tends to be quite sexually extreme, but never dull. I'm just disappointed in the Bruce and Emma shoot. It feels like Bruce probably had a bigger hand in the photos than Steven. For a really great article about Steven Klein in the New York Times archives, click here:

http://nymag.com/nymetro/shopping/fashion/features/n_10371/

Wow. I am completely lacking a sense of humor in this post. See what those photos have done? Blaaaaah.