Thursday, April 30, 2009
Struggling.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Today's Blind Item!
Mel Gibson Shows Off Pregnant Girlfriend
So. How long before Mel asks (read: pays off) the Catholic Church for an annulment from his wife of a thousand years, Robyn? (Listen, I was raised and tortured by the Catholic Church. I'm allowed to say this stuff.)
Mel's babymama better understand that he's going to lose half of his shit in this divorce. Homes, money...everything. I bet she's praying for twins, at the very least.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Twin Horsies for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick Instead of a Divorce
LOS ANGELES -
"Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick are expecting twin girls born to a surrogate, People magazine reported on Tuesday.
Sex and the City star Parker, 44, and actor husband Broderick, 47, already have a six-year-old son together, James Wilkie.
People quoted a representative as saying the couple were "happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed."
Broderick and Parker married in 1997. "
I love that they anounced this just before the Kentucky Derby next weekend. It's always about pimping your new project, isn't it, SJP??
Today's Blind Item!!! Soooo Easy.
"Which messy tabloid favorite who thinks she's a rock-style icon (actually she just married shrewdly) is known for calling journalists in a pill-haze and ratting out her celebrity friends? She has some especially good stories about her famous pals The Shoplifter and also The Godmother Of Her Child."
Keira Knightley Doth Protest Too Much
"Keira Knightley loves eating chips.
She admitted: “I’m a big foodie. In my family life, all good things revolve around the dinner table. My mum’s cooking is great. We have big dinners, and big everything. There’s nothing like a really good chip, a really crunchy, good chip. And I love pasta. I make Bolognese with tons and tons of Parmesan cheese.”
Towards the end of the day you're tired, you can't think straight, your jaw and throat ache. You might even be worried that you tore your esophagus because you thrust your fingers or toothbrush too hard down your throat that day. Your teeth are starting to get brittle, and your stomach aches like someone has a vice grip on it because you took one too many laxatives this time. It's an ugly and shameful reality of yours. No one knows. At least that is what you believe. "
Monday, April 27, 2009
Today's Blind Item!
Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
My Own "Sans Fard" (See Latest French Elle Magazine) Dare--WHERE ARE YOUR PICS?
What are ya'll waitin' fer?
**UPDATE** Still waiting for a few more! C'MON!
Mel Gibson is Going to Lose His Shirt for Losing His Pants
This kind of story is so stale: Aging dude, successful career, tons of kids with a lovely wife whom he been married to forEVER, cheats (add getting a DUI, spews anti-Semitic slurs, calls a cop Sugar Tits, makes a movie about Jesus...) and now the other woman is pregnant. Awesome. I already blabbed about this crap last week. The pregnancy is just the icing on the cake. Mel Gibson's wife Robyn is gonna kick his ass in oh, so many ways. About $45 million in cash and prizes, to be exact.
Bono? This is what I'm referring to in the post below. (Because I know he reads my blog! Heh.) You better straighten up and fly right, because I predict THIS WILL BE YOU soon enough. We're all watching and waiting, my friend.
Today's Blind Item!
From Blind Vice, E!Online:
"I know what you're thinking: Is anybody in Hollywood straight? Skanky David Duchovny is. Brad Pitt maybe. I think that might be it!
But seriously, the town's full of pooftahs. Get friggin' used to it. Always has been that way—always will be. It's a community full of creative types, babe, that's just the way it goes!
Take Saucy Bossy, for ince. He's made a living by exuding the easy, cool side of powerful in his acting, his looks, his walk, all his endeavors. Ya know, he's just one of those handsome, effortless figures who command authority, with just a touch of kink on the side.
Well, doll-babes, I'm here to tell you...
It's a helluva lot more than just a damn "touch" for Saucy's libidinous bent!
He sneaks dudes right and left into wherever he's hanging, whether it's his house in L.A. or whatever hotel room he happens to be partying in while on location.
Oh, and all those (female) big-butt babes Bossy's always feeling up in public, at events, in clubs, etc.? "It's all an act," said a member of S.B.'s management team, which is terrified somebody's gonna catch Saucy getting vroom service from the guys.
Jeez, I swear.
It's one thing for a single guy to live a lie like this. But should a dad being doing this? What a horrible message of deceit this sends to Bossy's kid! (I mean, it's only a matter of time before the kiddo discovers pops is a down-low kinda man).
And It Ain't: Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Denzel Washington"
This is TWO dudes, if you ask me. P Diddy (those swanky Ciroc vodka ads?) and/or Jamie Foxx. Word.
Celebrities I REFUSE to Discuss...
Apparently, there is a show on MTV called, The Hills. It's been on for years. I've. Never. Watched. It. This pseudo-reality series has two "stars" who were married over the weekend and I really could not give a shit. I find this couple to be a complete waste of skin. They call the paps for photo-ops every time they go to Taco Bell or a gynocologist appointment, all for our interest and viewing pleasure.
Hell to the NO. I won't discuss those a-holes, nor will I post photos of their retarded wedding. They are posted all over the "internets", so I know you can find them somewhere.
Now I know there times where I say "I said I would never talk about so-and-so", but I mean it this time.
For reals, ya'll.
Salma Hayek Gets a REAL Wedding
LOS ANGELES (AP) — "Salma Hayek and her husband have tied the knot — again.
Hayek spokeswoman Jillian Fowkes said Sunday in Los Angeles that the Mexican-born actress and French magnate Francois-Henri Pinault renewed their wedding vows Saturday in a ceremony at Venice's La Fenice opera house.
Hayek and Pinault originally were married in a small civil ceremony in Paris last Valentine's Day.
This time, the couple made it a weekend-long celebration, starting with a cocktail party at Punta della Dogana, an art museum owned by the groom's father, Francois Pinault.
Among those attending were actresses Charlize Theron, Penelope Cruz and Ashley Judd, plus U2 frontman Bono and Vogue editor Anna Wintour, as well as former French President Jacques Chirac."
Odd, yet nice (?) that Salma's ex-boyfriend,
Ed Norton was invited.
"Penna Lope" Cruz
Is that really Ashley Judd??
Paul Hewson, aka Bono
Oh, and BONO? You better be thinking good and hard about Mel Gibson's eff-ups right about now, or else you, too, will lose one-half of your fortune to your lovely wife. I have a feeling YOU are up to the no good, just like Mel.
You've been warned.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
An Evening With Women...Crashed by StupidParisHilton
Cybill Shepherd and that idiot.
Cybill again with her gorgeous (and lesbian)
daughter, Clementine.
Okay. I understand why Christina Aguilara would be supporting and performing at An Evening with Women, held in the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center--Gay Icon AND she wears more make-up than a drag queen. I understand Cybill Shepherd's support, seeing that her (stunning!) daughter, Clementine is gay. But WHAT the goddamnhell is effing Paris Hilton doing there?? Good Lord. Is there an open bar that she won't crash? Why do people keep letting her ass IN to these events? I'm getting irrationally pissed off about this whole affair.
"An Evening with Women is an annual event, previously known as Women’s Night, that raises much-needed funds for the women-specific services of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. This year’s event, held at the posh International Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, will be steeped in rock ‘n’ roll chic and include a hosted reception, dinner, star-studded show and silent/live auction of unique, exclusive and exotic items."
Bea Arthur Dies at 86
Today's Blind Item - Snotty Tween Edition
Friday, April 24, 2009
"Healthy Choice" Commercials With Julia Louis Dreyfus
Julia Louis Dreyfus and Jane Lynch?? HI-LARE. No wonder these ads are so funny--they are directed by Christopher Guest.
Bloody genius.
What the Goddamnhell is Beyonce` Wearing NOW??
We all remember the definition of "hideous", yes? All together now: THE HOUSE OF DEREON. Beyonce's mom, Tina Knowles just keeps pumping out the crappiest CRAP, doesn't she? Someday, Beyonce will have a meltdown and tell her just how gawd-awful her designs are. In the meantime, I get to to claw my eyes from the itchy/pain this is causing.
Here's Bey at the premiere of her equally gawd-awful movie, Obsessed. All I know is she says a line that is verrry close to my favorite Britney lyric, "I got yo crazy". Psssh. This movie will Dis. Uh. Peer.
Happy Birthday, Alex!!!
Alex has become a man I truly admire. He adores his wife and is an amazing dad. He puts his family first...as it should be, I know, but it doesn't always work that way these days. I love his sense of humor--Felix is well on his way, too. In our family, it's all about The Funny. Dayna is hilarious and the two of them are just fantastic parents.
Enough with the Gushfest. Happy Birthday, Boy! Mama loves you!
Sam and Linds Together Again?!?
Please, oh please, oh PUHLEEEZ let this be true:
"Seen here arriving at Samantha Ronson's house, Lindsay Lohan might be back in the good graces of her gargoyle love, according to Us Magazine:
It's the same mansion where Lohan, 22, used to live with Ronson, 30, -- before the DJ had the locks changed following their breakup and Chateau Marmont blowout fight.X17online.com photographers described Lohan as appearing "calm...[but] happy." They spent about six hours together.That same afternoon, Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated."
You're goddamned right, "it's complicated". Did you SEE Lindsay on "Ellen" yesterday? HOT FIDGETY MESS. OhmyLord, Lindsay was blabbing endlessly about her, um, "career", the tabloids (and how she's "sooo not interesting"--I beg to differ) and her surprise (?) break-up with Samantha Ronson. Enjoy the nut-fest:
My guess is that Sam saw this and realized just how much she missed all of the intellectual discussions she and Linds used to have--that, and the Crazy with a capital C.
Today's Blind Item!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Howard Stern's Beyonce` Tape a Hoax?
Baby Dancin' Time to Amy Winehouse!
Felix is worn OUT.
The neighborhood stray cats are in heat...oh wait. It's just BEYONCE`.
Lindsay is Skinnyshopping Again.
I hear she's not all that interested in performing in Peepshow after all--but could it be that the producers aren't all that interested in a skellabones with deflated waterballons headlining their sexy revue in Las Vegas?
Today's (Gross) Blind Item.
My guesses: Quentin Taratino and Oliver Stone have certain, um, preferences in their women. And Brett Ratner, Michael Bay and some other sleazes could be #3.
Disgusting.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
CONGRATS! New Baby for Foo Fighter, Dave Grohl!
The Associated Press, April 21, 2009
NEW YORK (AP) -- Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl and his wife, Jordyn, have welcomed their second daughter. And, Grohl says, she likes to make noise.
The 40-year-old rocker says Harper Willow Grohl was born on April 17. She is 7 pounds, 8 ounces, 20 inches long and Grohl says "loud as hell."
He says Harper Willow is named after his great-uncle Harper Bonebrake. Grohl and his wife also have a 3-year-old daughter, Violet. The couple married in 2003.
Darling name. I love Dave Grohl and I love Foo Fighters. Stephen and I wanted to see them last summer, but their show was too close to Dayna's due date with Felix, so we didn't get tickets. Someday, though. Someday.
In the meantime, here's a kick-ass video for ya'll!
Today's Blind Item: Follow-Up!!
"This celebrity couple's pre-nuptial agreement required the wife to stay in the relationship for a certain amount of time. However, the Stepford Wife's law firm has decided that it may be difficult to impossible for the husband to enforce this. It seems that the wife knows much more than she should about the husband's long-time and very personal relationship with another high-profile man. She is using that knowledge to get her sentence reduced and to to gain custody over the couple's kid/s.
Lindsay Lohan to Mel B: "Um, are you accepting applications?"
"Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen and Stephen Belafonte were amongst the guests at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas to attend the opening of PEEPSHOW, Melanie Brown's new burlesque-style show. Mel performs alongside fellow Dancing with the Stars alumnus Kelly Monaco, and although neither of them appear topless, the showgirls surrounding them do. Lindsay apparently told Mel she is "back on men" and left with a mystery man at midnight. This follows reports of Lindsay flirting with Leonardo DiCaprio at My House in Hollywood on Wednesday night. Sounds like she won't need that dating service any more."
This sounds like a low-rent Pussycat Dolls rip-off, doesn't it? A couple of things: Doesn't Charlie Sheen have newborn twins at home? Lindsay is "back on men"? Doesn't she know we love her as a lesbian? Now she's just some unemployed drunkgirl who's way too skinny and loves doing coke. Nothing interesting about that. Where's my Samantha Ronson? I miss her.
So Linds was in Vegas filling out job applications. I guess after she hit up Forever 21, In 'n Out Burger and The Sapphire Gentleman's Club (yeah, I've been there, what of it??) she thought she'd hit up former Spice Girl, Mel B. for a position. I am hearing Adam Ant singing again: "Desperate, But Not Serious". I love that song. It's a great reference.
Oh yeah..what is UP with Lindsay with the finger in her mouth? Does it makes us look at her first (yes), longer (yes), then wonder if it's code for "I'm back on men"? (Maybe.)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Liam Neeson is Smiling for the Paps Already.
Has it even been a month since Liam Neeson's wife, Natasha Richardson died in a freak skiing accident? I may sound like a wimpy romantic who is deeply in love with her husband (and I AM), how-bloody-EVER...I know for a fact I wouldn't be smiling for ANYONE's camera this soon after I had lost the love of my life. Maybe it's just me. I wouldn't be Out. Of. My. Bed. All eating would have stopped. I might take care of the dogs, if only because of the incessant whining, but all personal hygiene would come to an end. I would need a doctor to give me a morphine drip- at the very least--to help me through that agony. I honestly don't GET these people sometimes. I'm also referring to the folks on TV, doing interviews after their child has been abducted and/or killed. The very idea of trotting out onto my driveway to give Nancy Grace an interview completely baffles me. If there is such a notion of "doped-up hysteria", I'm positive that would be my mental state.
I suppose we all handle stress or tragedy in our own special way, but, wow. There's Liam Neeson up there with co-star Ralph Fiennes, bravely smiling for the cameras after a Broadway performance of Mary Stuart. Good for him, I guess. I just know life would not "go on" as quickly for me.
**Update** Just got off the phone with Mom. I told her about this post and she said, "leave Liam alone! He's IRISH!".
Coachella 2009: Lots of Celebrities Trying to Look Cool
The hardcores NOT in the VIP Lounge
Robert Smith of The Cure
These are the performers you missed, if you were not at Coachella with the heat-index in the mid-thousands:
Lineup
Friday, April 17th
Saturday, April 18th
Sunday, April 19th
A Place To Bury Strangers
Alberta Cross
Bajofondo
Beirut
Buraka Som Sistema
Cage the Elephant
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Craze and Klever
Crystal Castles
Dear and the Headlights
EL gran silencio
Felix da Housecat
Franz Ferdinand
Genghis Tron
Ghostland Observatory
Girl Talk
Gui Boratto
Leonard Cohen
Los Campesinos!
M. Ward
Molotov
Morrissey
N.A.S.A.
Noah and the Whale
Patton & Rahzel
Paul McCartney
Peanut Butter Wolf
People Under the Stairs
Ryan Bingham
Silversun Pickups
Steve Aoki
Switch
The Crystal Method
The Aggrolites
The Airborne Toxic Event
The Black Keys
The Bug featuring Warrior Queen
The Courteeners
The Hold Steady
The Presets
The Ting Tings
We Are Scientists
White Lies
Amanda Palmer
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
Atmosphere
Band Of Horses
Billy Talent
Blitzen Trapper
Bob Mould Band
Booker T
Calexico
Cloud Cult
Crookers
Dr. Dog
Drive By Truckers
Drop The Lime
Electric Touch
Fleet Foxes
Gang Gang Dance
Glass Candy
Glasvegas
Henry Rollins - spoken word
Ida Maria
James Morrison
Jenny Lewis
Junior Boys
Liars
Mastodon
M.I.A
Michael Franti & Spearhead
MSTRKRFT
Paolo Nutini
Para One
P.O.S.
Surkin
Superchunk
The Bloody Beetroots
The Chemical Brothers (DJ Set)
The Killers
Thenewno2
Thievery Corporation
Tinariwen
TRV$DJ-AM
Turbonegro
TV On The Radio
Zane Lowe
Zizek Club
Joss Stone
Antony and the Johnsons
Brian Jonestown Massacre
Busy P.
Christopher Lawrence
Clipse
Devendra Banhart
Etienne De Crecy
Friendly Fires
Fucked Up
Groove Armada (DJ Set)
K'naan
Late of the Pier
Lupe Fiasco
Lykke Li
M.A.N.D.Y.
Marshall Barnes
Mexican Institute of Sound
My Bloody Valentine
No Age
Okkervil River
Paul Weller
Perry Farrell
Peter Bjorn and John
Plump Djs
Public Enemy
Roni Size Reprazent
Sebastien Tellier
Shepard Fairey
Supermayer
The Cure
The Gaslight Anthem
The Horrors
The Kills
The Knux
The Murder City Devils
The Night Marchers
The Orb
Themselves
Throbbing Gristle
Vivian Girls
X
Yeah Yeah Yeah's
Oh, and Madonna's a Big, Fat, Clumsy Liar, Too.
Obviously, Madonna can do no wrong in Madonna's eyes, so of course it wasn't HER fault that she tumbled off her horse again--it was the paparazzi who "startled" the horsey. Uh huh. According to TMZ:
"We spoke with the photog who tells us he shot Madonna before and after she fell -- but was not there for the actual fall. He tells us he took pics of her riding and then left. About 30 minutes later, he says he got a tip about an ambulance being sent out for a 50-year-old woman -- so he put two and two together and went back to snap pics of her being tended to.He says all his photos were taken from a public road and the only other photog around was Stephen Klein -- the famous photographer whose house Madonna was at.As Hinton put it, "If I had startled the horse, I would have gotten pictures!"
Precisely. Don't you think he woulda made BANK from those shots?? Come ON, Madonna. You're an old clod who has no bidness on a horse and we all know it.
Today's Blind Item!
Which young starlet demanded 17 free handbags after forgetting she needed to buy gifts?